Kallian's Sketchbook
by HikariYagami22
Summary: F!Tabris was cursed by a demon, fighting for her soul. M!Cousland was broken, drowning in his own hate. F!Mahariel was lost, her hope long gone. This is their history – Their differences, their love, their fight. It will mix DA:O and DAII together and beyond in a new point of view you didn't expect. How much can love change a life? Violence/Strong Language /Adult content.
1. The Rebel in the Alley

_**A/N:** Hey there, dear reader!_

_Thank you for being here. This is not only the first time I publish something, but also the first time I write something in English, then I ask you to forgive any grammatical error you might encounter._  
_Well, despite the first chapter be focused on the original plot, the plan is not being a novelization, but rather focus on what the game did not explored._  
_I have other chapters done, so if you like it, leave a review. Comments, constructive criticism and suggestions are always welcome. 30 seconds that you spend now can give me fuel to go for weeks :)_

_Last but not least, I would like to thank two people who helped the project in my little journey._  
_**Rohh Lael**, my love and my beta, which, although not like fanfics, read and helped in every chapter with care and dedication._  
_**wintryone**, for the patience, the help and for the corrections! Check her profile - Her work is amazing :)_

_Also, you can check the chapter's artwork here: __" goo . gl/ksGIu " (This is a link shortened by google. Copy and pate it in your browser without the spaces and the quotation marks. If you prefer, you can use the link on my profile)_

_Okay, enough talk! I hope You enjoy it!_

**Disclaimer:** Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware.

**EDIT: **29-10-2012. **wintryone**_ fixed the grammatical errors. Hugs to you my friend!_

* * *

_"Give your soul to me_

_For eternity_

_Release your life_

_To begin another time with her_

_End your grief with me_

_There's another way_

_Release your life_

_Take your place inside the fire with her"_

_-Inside the Fire, Disturbed._

**Chapter 1**

The Rebel in the Alley

.

"The Fade has its charm sometimes."

The elf was right. Before her, the sunset was a mixture of colors on the horizon - Various shades of orange and gold mingled with the reddish sky. The view was stunning. She sat on a rock at the highest point of the hill, running her hand over her medium-length red hair thoughtfully. The wind caressed her face, like a warm breeze of summer, a rare gift in a land as cold as Ferelden. Below her was a privileged view of Denerim – the lights of the city just becoming visible and the movement of the merchants closing their tents. No sign of war, just peace.

"You know, this could be your world if you would so choose," said hoarse voice as it approached her.

"Be gone!" she replied, still looking at the city.

"Oh, but you have not heard my proposal this time." The owner of the voice sat beside her in the form of a lion, almost as tall as a human. He had a grey pelage with a mane as black as the darkest night, covered with thorns down his back, and a bone collar around his neck. His red eyes shifted from the peaceful view to the elf's face, which was attempting to show indifference to his presence.

"You want to run, but do not know where. Even if you knew you would be still trapped, forever destined to flee from the wickedness of the human heart. You say you want nothing to hold you back, but cannot stay away from your family." A malicious smile appeared on his lips. "No matter how great your desire for freedom, war and hatred will always strengthen the chains that bind your people. It matters not how much you fight. For every path that opens, three will close around you. But I can give you what you want. This can be your reality. Freedom to pursue your dreams and the power to ensure that no one will hurt neither you, nor your family," He paused. "It's a small price to pay for such a great boon..."

"No," She said firmly.

"Do not be so hard-headed child," He snarled, showing his teeth. Screams broke the silence, followed by a explosion which rocked the city. The Vhenedhal was burning beneath them, and the panic spread. Voices dear to her were calling for help, and her heart sank. Even knowing the destruction was not real, she couldn't prevent the agony spreading through her body.

"Everyone has a price," The creature stood up, walking in small circles around the little elf, leaving footprints of fire wherever he went. Half of Denerim was already in flames. "Let's see how many dreams you are able to give up to maintain this stance."

A familiar cry rang out, louder than the chaos that had spread throughout the city.

It was _her father._

"It's not real," she whispered with a weak voice, as if trying to convince herself. The lion laughed hoarsely as he disappeared into a purple mist. "It's not real ..." She repeated like a mantra. She felt weak, her lungs burning. She didn't know if it was the smoke, or the trail that the beast had left when he departed. The demon suffocated her with just the sound of his vicious voice and his piercing, red eyes.

No.

Just that thought was enough to make her feel sick; it was useless to flee, he would always find her.

The forest behind her was aflame. She could feel the heat of the fire spreading around her, the unbearable pain of her skin burning. She wanted to scream, to run away to anywhere else, just to escape from the agony; instead she held back the tears and swallowed the cry. She didn't want to give him the pleasure of witnessing her grief, begging for help.

She would _never_ bow to a demon.

"It's not real," She repeated for a last time, feeling the fire as it touched her heels. She kept her gaze focused on the sunset - the only light that separated the day from the night.

"The fire? Perhaps it is an illusion. But the pain _is_ real." His roar was filled with pleasure and satisfaction. "Pain is the only real thing, wherever you are. And I will be _always_ in your shadow, to remind you of that." The elf felt one huge paw grasp her right shoulder tightly, digging his claws deeply into her flesh, as a reminder of his promise. The last beam of orange light had vanished on the horizon, covering the place in darkness - cutting the thin line that separated her from despair.

The lion laughed one last time.

* * *

"Kallian, are you alright?"

Kallian looked at her cousin. In the flickering, dim light from the small candle on the nightstand, she could see a hint of concern in Shianni's sleepy brown eyes.

"It's nothing, Shianni. Go back to sleep," she replied with the tone of confidence she always used when she wanted to keep things under control. "I'm fine, I just need some water."

"I told ya ..." She said between yawns "...that drinking so much wouldn't do you any good."

"Seriously, Shianni?" she said and raised one eyebrow. Kallian remembered clearly how Shianni drank three of the five bottles of ale that their other cousin, Soris, had brought as a present last night. "At least I didn't pass out and have to be carried back home like a sack of potatoes..."

"Oh, shut up."

Kallian smiled, and watched as Shianni hugged the pillow and turned to face away from her. Kallian could still feel the cold sweat running down her face, caused by the horror of her dream. She sat on the bed, pushing her face into her trembling hands.

_It seems that every time it gets worse_, she thought, rubbing the shoulder the lion had marked. Kallian always kept the markings hidden from the sight of others. It looked like a simple tattoo. Only she knew how much the lion claws burned deeply into her bones almost every night, and how much she suffered in silence.

No one would _ever_ know about this. She would make sure of it.

It was always the same. Every time she wanted something in life, the demon appeared and offered it to her in exchange for her soul. The answer was always the same, and for years Kallian had watched the demon destroy her dreams before her very eyes.

She sighed heavily.

"You know, it's probably just tension." Shianni mumbled with her head buried in the pillow "I'd be nervous if it was my wedding tomorrow."

_Great. The wedding. I almost forgot about that! _She thought.

"Maybe you're right," Kallian lied. "If it was your wedding you'd probably be drunk for it, and it wouldn't be more than a happy memory the day after." She smirked at her cousin. "The point is… I do not want to get married."

"Your father did his best to find you a good husband. He's from a good family - and he's educated and handsome," she said with a laugh. "You know how hard it is find someone like that. You're lucky! You should seize the opportunity."

"You don't understand. All those things don't matter to me. We're talking about binding myself to a man I don't even know for the rest of my life." Kallian hated the idea of sharing her life and her bed with a stranger. "Someone I don't love..."

She never thought of finding a husband with the same effort that other woman did. Her work consumed most of her day, and any free time she had was devoted to training. Protecting her family came first, always, and because of her efforts, she was the most skilled elf in all the alienage. However, that didn't mean she wanted to give up that choice. She wanted to choose her own mate when the right time came, by her own heart, not the way they imposed it on her – trading her fate like an object.

"Love can come with time, you know?" Shianni sat up in her bed, and scratched her short red hair. Kallian positioned herself a little further back, hiding her face in shadows. If her cousin saw her in this state, drenched and exhausted, she would notice - even sleepy - that things were not right. "Look at your parents. Their marriage was arranged in the same way and they were pretty happy."

"And if don't fall in love with him, my life will be a disaster," Kallian retorted.

Shianni sighed. She loved her cousin, she really did, but her stubbornness was irritating sometimes. She considered for a moment if she really wanted keep talking about this particular subject. "Just ... try to relax, okay?"

"Sure," Kallian rolled her eyes. "Good night, Shianni."

"Night Kali."

Kallian lay down, trying to calm her heart. She was always restless after these nightmares, and usually did not sleep afterwards. Tonight was no different.

* * *

"Soris. It's still early, you should rest. Tomorrow is your big day," Cyrion said from the kitchen. "Why not take advantage of the slow morning and sleep in?"

"I'm fine uncle, don't worry," Soris said as he left, carrying a small leather bag with him.

Not long afterward, he heard a soft melody drifting through the air - the signal that Kallian was waiting. It had been like that since their childhood - Kallian woke with the sound of Soris' flute, and she would sneak out and hide herself to listen to his songs. He had always been a shy person, and his music was subdued when there was a crowd – which was why he always chose the early hours of the morning to practice. Yet when he was alone, his music was one of the most beautiful things she knew. Her heart ached from the possibility of this being the last time she would listen to her cousin play.

Then the tune changed. It became calmer, sweeter. It was the music he composed just for her. It was her lullaby – which he had always played ever since she was little, to keep her _normal_ nightmares away. And it had always worked. Somehow, the sound of his flute was one of the few things that could calm her heart.

On normal days like this, it meant that he knew she was listening. Usually, after the song ended, he remained silent, waiting for her to show herself.

Not today, however. He continued playing, as if he had read her thoughts, but pretended not to know.

The Maker blesses the little things.

"Mr. Tabris, thanks for letting me stay with you!" A voice pulled Kallian from her thoughts. Soris had been quiet for a while now and the sun was higher in the sky. She lifted her head from where she was hiding and saw her neighbor at the door talking to her father.

"Oh, good morning Kali!" the woman happily greeted her.

"Hey, Ness!" Kallian called back, rising up to hug her friend. Nessa was one of her best friends, and since her parents would sometimes travel for long periods, Cyrion had agreed to let her stay with him.

Their house wasn't one of the biggest in the alienage – actually it was pretty small, with a living room, a kitchen and one bedroom - but somehow Kallian, her cousins and her father managed to live in it with no problem. Since Kallian was about to move out to live with her husband-to-be, they it would be no problem to have Ness under their roof for a while.

"Ready for your big day?" Nessa asked brightly. Kallian tried to not roll her eyes. The fact that no one could see how this idea was absurd was far beyond her comprehension.

Instead of answering truthfully, she just smiled and nodded.

"I have to go to work," Kallian said, eager to change the subject.

"Alarith said that if you show up at the store today, he will cut your pay." Nessa said, smiling even brighter.

"Oh, that would be a problem." Nessa recognized the mocking tone in Kallian's voice and smiled. "You cannot go far without money."

"Are you thinking about running away?" Nessa asked, playing along with her game.

"Of course! I have planned a dramatic escape down to the smallest detail." Kallian gestured wildly as she spoke. "Picture this: It's the peaceful morning of the wedding with everything ready and then something big, really big, happens, you know? Something involving the bridal gown, a white horse and purple fireworks." She laughed. "And maybe a dwarf wearing a red dress. Who knows?"

"Oh, thank you so very much," Soris said with a hurt look on his face. "You'll really leave me alone like this?"

"Soris, I don't want to get married." Kallian looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Don't look at me like that!" he exclaimed. "You know that is not my choice either."

Kallian sighed deeply. In her heart she knew Soris didn't like this situation any more than she did, but he was far more resigned to it than her, which sometimes made her angry.

"Oh, won't be so bad," Nessa said, her eyes sparkling. "I hear he comes from a good family and is skilled, educated and -"

"Handsome," Kallian finished for her. "And I'm lucky to have a mate as good as he is," she added, her voice harsher than she had intended. She knew that speech – had heard it way to often.

"It'll be okay Kali, you will see!" Nessa gave her a warm smile.

It didn't matter how much they annoyed her, Kallian couldn't stay angry for long.

"Okay. Look, I need to get to work." She stood up, walking toward the Alarith's Store. "I really need to distract myself," she said aloud - _or I will seriously consider the possibility of escape_ she completed mentally "See you tonight."

* * *

That night, Kallian didn't want to sleep. The reason was the nightmare from the previous night, and she knew this, but a small part of her mind was nervous about the events of tomorrow. _I'm getting married_, she thought, feeling a gaping emptiness in her chest.

Her father warned her to take it easy with her betrothed. "Do not say anything that might scare him," he said. "He does not need to know that you spent your days picking locks, climbing walls and fighting the guards."

As if all that were not bad enough, she would have to give up so much of who she was. She'd have to give up the _best _part of her soul – her free spirit.

It was the source of her courage to keep fighting. The reason to continue to believe that she could do anything, even when all the odds were against her.

It was the only thing no one could ever take away from her.

The world could steal everything from her – her belongings, her home, her dreams, and her freedom. But as long as she kept her spirit strong, she would always stand up and move forward again and again. _Always._

It was nearly morning before she fell asleep.

* * *

"Cousin wake up!"

Kallian mumbled some nonsense and turned over in her bed.

"Kallian!" Shianni shook her harder this time.

"... Sleep!"

"You overslept!" Shianni pulled at the covers. "Come on, Nelaros has arrived!"

"Who?" She asked, sliding her legs over the edge of the bed.

"Your betrothed, of course! What world do you live in?" asked Shianni.

Kallian growled in response.

"Weddings are so much fun. There is music, decoration, food. And I had a sneak peak at your husband-to-be. He is as beautiful as they said!"

"You can have him if you want him." Kallian mumbled. She stood up, rubbing his eyes. Staying awake was a difficult task.

"Do not be stupid. Go get ready, and we will be waiting outside!" Shianni left, faster than Kallian's slow sleeping mind could process.

Kallian sighed.

_Today was going to be a very long day..._

* * *

And she was right.

The day began with some human nobles trying to cause trouble. Vaughan, the Arl's son, had tried to take some of the women for his little party. Shianni had knocked him out, and the episode had ended with the man being carried out of the Alienage unconscious.

Humans always caused this kind of trouble, and no one ever cared. They were not allowed the right to defend themselves. Any elf that was caught carrying a weapon was killed. Of course, this did not prevent any of them from keeping a pair of concealed weapons or from knowing how to use them. The Valendrian Elder, on the other hand, believed in diplomacy over the sword, and always tried to mediate the problems with reason.

Kallian shared part of Valendrian's pacifist standards, but refused to fully believe in anything that did not guarantee safety. It had worked sometimes, she admitted to herself. But how many nights had she spent tending the broken bones of her Elder when the only responses to his gentle words were punches and kicks? She knew that attacking every human like they were no more than an animal would not solve their problems. But abandoning her weapons? Never.

"I dance according to the music," she always said. "Be nice to me and I will be nice to you. Cross the line and you will be one dead bastard."

It was not the simplest path however, especially because it was easier to find a gold coin in the middle of Denerim's Market district than to find a nice human.

When she was alone, her rebel blood always spoke more strongly than any good sense. She always retaliated against everything the others did to her. She had some scars because of that, but they were well worth it. However, when there are others involved, her protective instincts always had the last word.

The way she managed to keep her family safe was to stay out of sight - out of the human's way. They eventually had some trouble but somehow she always managed to reverse the situation. But this time, she was not feeling very confident.

Kallian and Soris met Nelaros and Valora – his betrothed - after the incident with the Arl's son. Shianni was right, her fiancé sure did have a pretty face, but that did not make the idea of marriage any easier. They talked only briefly before leaving to prepare themselves.

"I swear in the name of any God you want that if I hear someone else talk about running away they will have a bride missing at the altar," Kallian whispered to Soris when she was sure they would not be overheard.

"Oh no," Soris exclaimed, pointing to another man standing in the doorway of Alienage. He had a peaceful expression on his face but seemed somehow intimidating - and it was not _just _because of the two swords he carried on his back.

"Another human!" she sighed, placing her hand flat across her face.

"I think we should talk to him. Take him out of here before somebody does something stupid," Soris said.

Kallian nodded, and came forward to speak to the visitor, ready to get in his face, if need be. _This guy is dangerous, I should be careful,_ she thought.

But his reaction disarmed her.

"Good day, serah. I believe congratulations are in order." He bowed and greeted her with a friendly smile.

Kallian frowned. _How polite. Is he really human?_ "Thank you." She bowed slightly. "But I must ask you to leave. We only want to avoid trouble," she said formally, loosening the grip on the knife she always carried tied tightly under her dress.

"What are you talking about?" He said, innocently.

Kallian crossed her arms, and raised her eyebrows. "Do not pretend you don't know what I'm talking about," she said in challenge, her eyes never leaving his.

"I do understand, but I have no intention of leaving." Despite the words, his tone was not threatening; however the thread of determination that Kallian heard behind his quiet voice put her on alert.

"Ser, I will politely ask again. Please, leave." Kallian took a step forward.

"And yet, I still refuse. What now?" he replied.

Kallian squinted. It was clear that he was testing her but that was not what worried her. He had a different kind of brightness in his eyes. _Is he making fun of me?_ she thought. Soris shifted the weight of his body from one foot to the other almost as often as he drew a breath.

"Kallian, _shut up_!" Soris whispered, trying to pull her away by her elbow. Kallian pulled away, and made a gesture with her hand for him to stay back.

"I'm sure you must have noticed that I am fully armed and equipped. A fight between us would be rather one-sided," he said. "As I said, I have no intention of Leaving, unless you want to force me to go?" He smiled.

"If necessary, yes," Kallian said.

"Maker preserve us," Soris said, torn between staying to fight and running for help.

The stranger laughed. "I did not come to fight with you. However, I found such bravery somewhat interesting. Don't you think, Valendrian?"

They were so tense that they hand't seen the Elder approaching. Valendrian and the stranger greeted warmly. "I would say that the world has more use for those who know how to hold their blades," Valendrian glanced disapprovingly to Kallian. "It's good to see you again, old friend!"

"Andraste have mercy, I thought I would die," Soris said quietly, silently thanking the Maker.

"Do you know him?" She crossed her arms, as the tension dissipated.

"Yes, child. This is Duncan, Grey Warden Commander of Ferelden," Valendrian said, and placed his hand on Kallian's shoulder. "Duncan, I beg you to forgive this child. As you see, there are certain things that happen in the Alienage that causes some resistance toward your people."

"I understand, my friend. Actually, I was rather impressed by her determination," Ducan said, and smiled at Kallian.

Valendrian sighed, "There's a fine line that separates bravery from stupidity." He gave her another reproachful look, which caused Duncan to smile again. "But tell me, what are you doing here?"

Duncan explained that Blight had come to Ferelden and the Grey Wardens had been summoned by the king to fight the horde of darkspawn at Ostagar. Valendrian remarked that the timing for such a discussion was not appropriate, and both agreed to leave the matter for later. After instructing them to treat Duncan as his personal guest, Valendrian walked away. Soris muttered something to Kallian and after a brief nod to Duncan, he went to join the others. Kallian on the other hand, approached the Warden again.

"Look ..." She said putting a lock of hair behind her ear "It isn't personal... I mean..." It was difficult to find the words. She didn't want to apologize to a human; however it was not right to leave things as they were.

"What made you change your mind so fast?" Duncan had an amused look on his face.

"I'm not a savage," Kallian said. "I just acted that way because I thought you were a threat. And if you are not here to cause any problems then I have no reason to.. . you know." She scratched her neck awkwardly.

"Apology accepted, child." He smiled. "I wish you the best on your wedding day." With another bow to her, Duncan walked away.

Kallian looked back. They were all gathered around the altar, and probably only required her presence to begin. With a long sigh, she hurried to her place.

* * *

Valendrian opened the ceremony with the usual stuff about Andraste and the bonds of marriage, before moving on to the representative voice of the Chantry.

Vaughan and his men, who had returned with an escort of twelve guards, however, suddenly interrupted the wedding. They were surrounded.

"We're having a party, but we don't have any woman," Vaughan said, his mouth curved in a sadistic smile. "We need a bit of fun."

"Milord, we are in the middle of a wedding! Please!" Her mother tried to intervene, but one of the men pushed her aside.

"You can dress your pets, but do not tell me this," he turned around, his finger pointing his surroundings, "is a real marriage." He looked around. "Take them!" His eyes were suddenly fixed on Shianni. "You…"

"Don't you dare touch me, you pig!" Shianni hissed, and took a step back.

"Leave her alone!" Kallian shouted and sliced into Vaughan's arm with her small dagger. She put herself between him and Shianni. Vaughan howled in pain, and motioned for the guards to act. Three guards immobilized her after only a small scuffle, each holding one of her arms and the third lifting her head so she would have to look at Vaughan. He approached and punched her hard in the stomach.

"Kallian!" Shianni shouted.

The other guards immobilized Soris and Nelaros before they could react. Kallian coughed, gasping for air.

"We cannot forget the beautiful bride," Vaughan said, holding her chin. "We'll have so much fun together." He laughed evilly.

"Not in your wildest dreams, shem!" She lifted her legs and struck his stomach with both feet, as hard as she could. Her abdomen screamed in protest, but the adrenaline was enough to feed her will to resist and keep her body moving. She would not give up so easily.

"You're annoying me, little knife-ear," he said and approached her again. Before Kallian could do anything, He punched her hard in the face.

Her vision blurred. She could taste blood in her mouth. If she hadn't previously experienced the pain of bones being broken, she would say he had fractured her jaw. She could feel movement around her, but her mind recorded only three things:

Cries of protest around her.

The feeling of being lifted into the air.

And her world turning black.


	2. The Champion in the Storm

_**A/N: **__Hey there, dear readers! The second chapter is finally here! I would like to thank you for all the views, specially for those who put it in their favorite/follow list! You made me happy! :D_

_I would like to thank __**wintryone, Rohh Lael **__and __**failusnot **__for the great feedback! Yay! :D_

_And thank you reader, for being here with me again! Muito Obrigada! :)_

_You can find the artwork for this chapter here: " goo . gl /K22MH " (Link shortened by google. It will redirect to my devianart page. Copy and paste in your browser without the spaces and the quotation marks. Or, if you prefer, use the link on my Profile)_

_Here we go! I hope you like it!_

* * *

_"And where the journey may lead me_

_Let your prayers be my guide_

_I cannot stay here, my family_

_But I'll remember my pride"_

_-Shadowland , The Lion King on Broadway_

* * *

**Chapter 2**

The Champion in the Storm

.

**Kallian**

"Maker preserve us, Maker protect us…"

Voices echoed in my mind. I tried to open my eyes, but the weak light of the place reminded me of a headache I didn't know I had. Maker, it hurt…

"Thank the Maker!" I could feel Shianni pressing her hands on my forehead, relief written all over her face.

I breathed deeply a few times, trying to remember what happened. When I recalled the face of Vaughan, I instinctively put my hand on my thigh, finding only an empty sheath. _Shit_. The sudden movement made my head spin again, forcing me to return to Shianni's lap.

The girls explained to me that we were now in the Arl's dungeons, and it was a only matter of time before those shems come back. I remained silent throughout the explanation. It wasn't that I had nothing to add, but rather because deep inside I was afraid that my jaw would dislocate if I tried to speak.

"It will be easier if we do what they want," Valora – Soris' wife - said.

"No way!" _Shit_. The pain shot through my face, but at least now I knew that my jaw would not fall off. "You're not serious. You _cannot_ be serious!" I got up angrily. My bones creaked in protest, but I didn't care. Just the idea of allowing Shems to touch us...

The guards came before I could finish my thought, and took Shianni, Nessa and Valora. Nola - who had spent the whole time whispering prayers to the Maker - was lying dead a few feet from me. I tried to resist but there were six guards to fight with only my bare hands. One of them said I was _the_ "Scrapper" and should be tied up. I'm not surprise they had heard about me. They immobilized my arms, one guard on each side. The third was staring at me smiling, playing with _my_ knife between his fingers.

"We'll see how tough you are when I'm done with you, bitch." He used the knife to make two tears in my dress – One on my thigh and one across my shoulder, the blade cutting through the material and into my skin. I was beginning to feel desperate, and was completely helpless, but I would not give up. I kicked the unprotected part of the Shem's knee, but apparently it hurt me more than him. Angered, he grabbed my hair and forced my head back, the knife pressed to my cheek. At this point, the adrenaline running through my body was making me obvious to pain.

"I'll make you regret it, knife-ear," The guard told me, dragging the blade from my cheek to my ear. Maker, he _really_ would cut off my ear. He was_ cutting_ my dammed ear and the only thing that seemed to matter was the sound of a roar that echoed loudly in my head.

"Remember, the pain is real. But I can stop it," His sadistic voice said. "For the right price."

I could feel the demon's breath on my neck, his paw burning on my exposed shoulder. "I offer you Vaughan on a silver platter, if you prefer, along with his guards. It's more than enough for you and your friends to go back home and resume your little lives." I felt his presence around me, tempting me, teasing me, hoping that I will fall so he can offer me his hand.

"For the right price," he repeated. Maker, I was paralyzed. Every time the demon was around, it was the same. I panicked and could not think straight. While part of me wanted to send him to the Void, another part of me, over which I had no control, began to consider accepting him. But my answer was the same as it always was.

"No," I said in a low voice.

"You had your chance." I felt his tongue licking the blood off my shoulder. "Do not regret it later." He brushed his canine on my neck before disappearing.

After what seemed like almost an hour inside my head - but was only a few seconds in the real world - the guard in front of me fell dead at my feet, a sword in his neck. I looked at the door and saw Soris nodding. One of the guards let go of my arm to try to contain Soris and I did not think twice - I disengaged the grip on my other arm, pulled the sword off the dead guard's body and cut the shem's throat. We took care of the last one without problem.

"Kallian, you okay?" Soris asked me, sounding worried, "Did they ..."

"No," I replied. "We have to find Shianni and the others quickly!" I pulled another sword from one of the bodies and left the cell, following Soris. I caught him glancing back at me with concern as we ran.

"Soris," I said while tearing pieces from the skirt part of my dress. "These are superficial injuries," I lied, tying the straps on my thigh and on my shoulder. The cuts were deep, especially in my ear which, by the way, was still where it belonged. Maker bless Soris and his excellent timing. "I'll be fine."

"Kallian, you're trembling, are you sure -"

"I don't recognize these weapons. Where did you get them?" I cut him off.

"The human, Duncan, gave them to us, to save you." What? Well, that's new, I thought.

"But Kallian…" He started again.

"We will have time to talk later, cousin. Let's go!" I cut him off again. By his expression, he understood that I was not willing to talk.

We cleared the way to get where Soris said Nelaros would be waiting. We arrived only in time to see Nelaros being killed. How many deaths ... I felt my eyes burn as we struggled against the guards. When I finally knelt beside Nelaros, with the last of his strength he gave me his best smile. In his hand lay a golden ring.

My heart squeezed so hard that I thought I would faint. He died to protect us. _To save me._ He did not deserve that.

"Nelaros ..." I hesitated. The words struck in my throat.

I didn't want to leave him like this, but what choice did I have? We still had to find the girls. They at least could still be saved.

I took the ring from his hand and stood. "Let's keep moving."

It did not take long to reach Vaughan's room. I have no words to describe what I felt when I opened the door.

Shianni was injured on the ground with her clothes torn, crying and trembling like a beaten animal. Vaughan stood bragging. He swallowed his laughter when he saw us. He was terrified - and I wasn't sorry for it - and he started talking a lot of shit. For each word he spoke, my muscles twitched painfully in response and more hatred pulsed through my veins. He called for more guards, but we managed to kill them as well.

In the end, he was the only one left alive.

"I'll give you money. Enough for you to escape and start a life somewhere else," he stammered, desperate. "Forty sovereigns, just leave the women here."

"Fuck you and your offer," I said, cutting his tendons and making him kneel in front of me. I held him by the hair, forcing his head back the same way he ordered his men to do with me. "Look at me you son of a bitch!" I shouted and he obeyed me, trembling.

Alone, he was a coward. He didn't even try to resist. I wanted to make sure he knew who was doing this to him. I wanted to give him enough time to remember everything for which he was being judged. I wanted him to feel the same _fear _he'd put in the hearts of my friends.

"May your money and your soul burn in the Void forever!" Then I cut his throat.

Soris watched in silence, tears rolling down his face, waiting until the shem suffocated in his own blood before he plunged his sword into his chest. I never saw him with such hatred before.

We ran to Shianni's side, not knowing how to approach her. She was staring at the floor, holding her temple with her shaking hands.

"Is he dead?" She asked with a trembling voice, wiping away the tears.

"Yes," Soris said. For a moment I did not recognize his voice. It was so hoarse and choked. He took a coat from the closet of the shem and placed it over her shoulder.

"Good..." She said, her eyes never leaving the floor, wrapping the clothes around her shoulders.

Oh shit, I knew that look.

"You .." Soris began, but his voice died before he could finish.

"The others are stuck back there ... Go help them," She said.

Soris nodded and left.

The emotionless face, the serious look, the strong words. Seeing the mask that I had put on so many times to convince others that everything was fine - seeing it being used by one of the people I had tried so hard to protect my whole life made me gasp for air. She didn't wanted be questioned - I knew that very well – so instead of talk, I pulled her into a hug. She held my lower back tightly as she cried quietly on my uninjured shoulder.

"Do not leave me alone, please," she said between sobs "Take me home."

"Everything is going to be fine now," I said, stroking her hair "We're going home."

She sank her head on my shoulder even more. At that moment I thought my heart would stop.

Maybe it stopped, I don't know. But it hurt like it had.

_"You had your chance. Do not regret it later."_ I could hear the demon's words repeating over and over again inside my head. That bastard knew what would happen and I'd had the chance to avoid everything.

She was suffering and it was my fault.

I heard voices approaching, and soon Shianni was standing, leaning on me, back to her mask. She wiped tears from my face that I didn't know I had cried and started to pretend that nothing had happened. Nobody discussed it further and we left as quickly as possible, having to deal with only a few guards along the way.

We walked in silence back home. Duncan, Valendrian and my father were at the gates, talking to the guards. Shit, this is getting better and better.

"Elves invaded the Arl's Estate and started a bloodbath," We heard the guards saying. "Give us the culprits, otherwise it will be worse for everyone!"

"There must be some misunderstanding, Ser," Valendrian said.

"Shut up, scum!" One of the guards tried to punch him, but Duncan stopped him.

"I think the use of force against civilians who are cooperating with the law is not necessary, don't you agree?" Duncan said. The captain nodded, motioning for the guard to get back.

"Hey, you!" The captain said, turning the spotlight - and weapons - on us, "Explain yourself!"

"Your Lord has kidnapped my guests in the middle of my wedding, Ser," It cost me all my stock of goodwill to respond with something non-harsh, but I still failed to avoid sounding sarcastic. All eyes turned to both of us - the only armed ones - so I gestured to Valora to take Shianni away from the guards. They'd already had enough of this crap for a lifetime.

"Who was responsible for the events inside the property of the Arl?" He barked.

Soris opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, I took a step forward. "I did."

The captain laughed in disbelief, but the other guards flinched. They'd known me long enough to know that It was true. "You? Alone?"

"Yes," I said seriously. Soris looked at me with a mixture of concern and gratitude in his eyes. I discreetly pushed him away from the guards before he said something.

"So be it. Arrest her," he said. I was immobilized by guards _again_. "You are arrested for the death of Vaughan Urien."

"This time you will not escape, Scrapper." The guard shook my shoulder, satisfied to apprehend my weapons.

"Captain, a word please," Duncan said, "I hereby invoke the Grey Warden's Right of Conscription to transfer the prisoner into my custody."

_What the hell?_

"You do not have that right, Warden." One of the guards said.

"Yes, he has," the captain said in disgust. "I have no authority to revoke your right, Warden, but I ask you to take that elf out of town _today_."

"As you wish," Duncan said. The guards released me and said something before leaving, but honestly I did not pay attention. I escaped a shem to be a slave of another? _Really?_

"Kallian," Duncan called me, taking me from my reverie. "You're with me now. Prepare your things, say your goodbyes and find me when you are ready. The deal was taking you out of town as quickly as possible, and thus should it be done."

"What do you want with me?" My voice came out harsher than necessary, but I did not care. Not after what happened today.

"I want you to be a Grey Warden," he said without ceremony. "You will go with me to Ostagar to help against the Darkspawn."

"Why me?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"You have proven to be worthy." He said. "We need people like you in our ranks."

"I'll pass," I said firmly. "My people need me more than your army. I will not leave."

"So do you prefer a swift execution? What good will you do your people inside a cage or dead?" I opened my mouth to protest but he raised his hand to stop me. "You have no idea of what the darkspawn will do to these people if we don't stop them," He whispered. "If you really want to do something, if you really want to protect them, then you know what you must do."

I thought for a moment. I heard about how cruel the darkspawn can be, and what they usually do to the villages they attack. I gave a quick look at everyone around me. They were holding their breaths, waiting for me answer. No way I'm going to leave them to their fate.

I hated to admit it, but he was right. I had no choice. "Right," I said defeated_._

I couldn't believe I had to leave my home… Be away from my family. But there was no turning back. I turned to my father and hugged him, as tight as I could. He did the same, and for long minutes we stayed that way.

Fighting against tears is so damn hard…

"Don't worry about me, dad. I will be fine," I said, after a while.

"I know you will," I could see he was holding back the tears as well. "I will miss you, my little girl."

"So will I." Realizing that my voice would fail, I paused before continuing. "May the M-" I stopped again. After what happened today, I could no longer use the name of the Maker. It didn't feel right anymore. "Be well, dad. And please, take care of them for me. Don't let them press Shianni or the others. They've been through enough."

Father nodded. "Take care, my daughter," he said holding my hands.

"You too, Dad." I kissed my father's forehead. "I'll pack my things." My father nodded again, and hesitanted to release my hands.

I kissed his hands and turned to Valendrian. "Nola and Nelaros didn't make it. Please, do a proper funeral for them." My weak voice denounced my feelings, so I headed back to my house as fast as I could, without waiting for Valendrian's answer. I wiped out the rebel tears along the way, trying to regain my self-control.

I found Soris outside the house with his head pressed against the wall. He turned to me when saw me coming.

"I. .. have no words to thank you for what you did," he said hoarsely. "Taking all the blame alone..." I saw him struggling against the words. "You will really leave?"

"Take care of everything in my absence. I am countingon you, okay?" I pulled him into a hug, which he responded to with such intensity that it made my heart stop. Parting was more difficult than I thought.

"Will you talk to Shianni before you go?"

I hesitated before answering. "I do not know. I..."

"It will break her heart if you leave without saying goodbye." I thought for a moment. He was right. I probably would never forgive myself if I didn't, neither would she.

I nodded and walked to the door.

"May the Maker protect and guide you, cousin." He patted my shoulder and walked away with wet eyes. I watched him disappear before turning to the door again.

It took me a few minutes with my hand on the doorknob before entering. I pressed my head against the door, the same way Soris had before me.

My shoulder wound throbbed so hard that it was difficult to even hear my own thoughts. I was still hearing the demon's words repeating themselves.

I breathed deeplya couple of times before entering. I found Nessa and Valora standing in the living room.

"She wants to talk to you," Nessa said, hugging me. "Maker, you saved our lives. I can never repay that." She smiled weakly, holding my hands. "Do us all a favor and return home alive, ok?"

I couldn't promise that, but I wouldn't say it, so I just nodded.

Valora said nothing, but her eyes were full of gratitude. I patted her shoulder in understanding and entered my room.

Shianni was standing in front of the window, wearing a new set of clothes. I stopped beside her and waited.

"It's true what they said? That you took the blame alone?"

"I did what should be done."

"You always do."

I wish I had the courage to look in her eyes now. Instead, I waited in silence for long moments, staring out the window.

"I'm sorry. I should have-" I tried to say after a while.

"You saved me," she said and for the first time I dared to look at her face. "I'll never forget that." I opened my mouth to question her but she made a gesture with her hand to silence me "One day they will tell legends about you." She smiled.

I gave her a weak smile. "People don't tell tales about elves…"

"Rowdy as you are, I'm sure they will have much to tell," She turned serious again, "Go, Kallian. Run through the world and make us proud." She hugged me. "I will miss you."

"So will I." I said in a weak voice, burying my head on her shoulder.

I stayed a few moments like that, regaining my self-control and my breath. Shianni knew I was crying, but she said nothing. She just stayed there, stroking my hair in understanding.

"You will be fine?" I asked. Crap, my voice sounded horrible.

Her eyes were lost for a moment before she answered. "Eventually, yes," she said weakly. "Don't worry about me, cousin. I will be fine."

And there came the mask again.

This made me worry even more. But, the longer I stayed, the more it would hurt. The only thing I could do was to believe in her words, and hope for the best.

I swapped the white dress – _White_? Actually red blood - for something more comfortable and put a few things into an old bag of leather - A few pairs of clothes, my daggers, bandages and other things I thought be useful. I decided to take my diary too. Well, it was a sketchbook with some little notes at the end of the pages, but it would serve as a reminder of home. Before leaving, Shianni helped me to bandage my wounds. It would be at least a couple of days before they would heal.

Duncan was waiting at the exit of Alienage.

"Ready?" I nodded and followed, looking back for a last time. All the people I knew – actually, almost the entire Alienage - were grouped at the gates. I gave them one last smile before leaving.

Before we left the market district, Duncan broke the silence. "I have to tell you one thing before we go on." These things are never easy, right? I should have known he had a "but" implied somewhere_. As if all of this wasn't bad enough_. But I also had something to say. Something was bothering me since he conscripted me.

"Tell me something first," I said, crossing my arms. "Your arrival here was no coincidence." it was more a statement than a question. "You're collecting people to fight your war, I got it, but I do not think you went to Alienage by accident." I took a break to consider his reaction. Apparently he knew where I was going, but had no intention of interrupting me. "That was your plan all along? Cause I believe that the Grey Wardens have too many problems to go around using their military benefits to save prisoners for mere charity."

"No, it was not charity. Indeed, it's true that I did not come there by accident." He stopped walking, and stoodin front of me. "My goal was to recruit you, from the beginning."

Now I was confused. "How did you know about me?"

"You're not the type of person who goes unnoticed," He said. "You might not know, but I tried to recruit your mother long ago, before she married your father, but your elder convinced me otherwise."

"My mother?" And now I was surprised, "You knew my mother?"

"Yes, she was a good friend," he said, his eyes full of affection. "And a talented rogue. She was always fighting with the guards, causing all sorts of confusion wherever she went." He smiled. "When I heard rumors that there was an elf causing problems, I knew it was Adaia's daughter." He turned serious." I only regret that the circumstances of your recruitment have been so disturbing. We didn't have much time to talk properly, but I want you to know that you have my condolences about what happened."He tried to put his hand on my right shoulder but I flinched.

"Look, I agreed with all of this Grey Warden thing and appreciate your good intentions, but _no_ touching okay? I've had enough of that for the rest of my life," I answered too roughly again, but I could not help it. Besides, the wounds were burning so intensely that I would probably faint if something touched it.

"Fair enough, sorry." He seemed sincere. "I know that my presence is only accepted because I am your Elder's friend, and even knowing you believe that my word has no credibility because of what my race has done to your people, I assure you that I am not a threat, nor do I intend to do any harm to you."

"We'll see." He seemed to speak the truth, but only time could give value to his words. My mother said she knew some humans who had good hearts. I wondered if this was one of them.

"As for what I wanted to talk about before," he said and resumed his walking. "I had the opportunity to recruit someone else before coming to Denerim." He seemed to choose the words carefully. "This man has gone through tough times before joining us. He lost his whole family, except for his brother, who should be in Ostagar at this moment." I slowed the pace without realizing it. Poor man. "And that was less than a week ago. So I ask you to try to understand if hisresponse is not the most pleasant. He is… suffering… so do not take it personally."

"Right," Not that I'm going to be looking for conversation, but the last thing I want is problems. "I promise not to hassle with him if he does not hassle me"

"Fair enough."

For long minutes we walked in silence. The guards looked at me with anger, and most of them I knew. But none of them caused me problems, even seeing that I was carrying weapons. This Grey Warden thing may have a bright side after all.

"Take that, bastards!" I said smiling victoriously at them. I would never miss the chance to mock those idiots.

"Someday I will kill you, Scrapper…" He promised between his clenched teeth.

"Be my guest," I said, opening my arms, inviting him to try.

"Kallian, you were allowed to leave. It's not wise to press your luck this way." Duncan whispered to me.

"I have none left, so no problem at all." I answered him, before embracing the silence again.

We arrived at the gates of Denerim and I soon saw the recruit that Duncan had commented on, sealing the last of three horses. He was tall, medium brown hair disheveled and unshaven with the stance of a soldier - broad shoulders and strong arms. He was also a human. When he turned to us, I could see his light brown eyes. I'll tell you, it was gruesome. He was pale, sunken eyes with heavy dark circles, his mouth in a straight line and an expressionless face, frowning at me.

It looked like he hadnot slept in a week.

"Kallian Tabris, This is Noah Cousland." Noah gave me an icy stare, for no more than a few seconds before giving me his back. He also said nothing. Duncan, visibly uncomfortable, cleared his throat before continuing.

"You know how to ride a horse?" He asked.

"I learn quickly," I said that, but I had great difficulty climbing the animal. It was even harder to stay on it. I could see Noah rolling his eyes impatiently over my shoulder. I wanted to say something, but I kept my mouth shut out of respect for his pain. Duncan, on the other hand, waited until I was used to the animal to leave.

We rode for a while, and here I was, on the same hill that I visited almost every night in my dreams. But the scene was so different.

No warm breeze or colorful sunset. It was cold and dry; the kind that hurts your nose when you breathe and the sky was no more than a gray scale palette - with the sun hidden behind storm clouds. The tranquility was replaced by steps of guards in their armor. The sound of the War.

I stopped and stared for a few minutes. That chaotic and imperfect scene was my home, and maybe that was the last time I would see it. At least in a long, very long time.

"Let's get moving, Elf!" Noah shouted, already far from me, with a cracked, angry voice_. Creepy._ "It will be useless if we arrive at Ostagar _after_ the battle!"

It was official now. This guy was going to be a problem.


	3. The Eagle in the Forest

**A/N: **_Hey there! Another chapter is up. Thanks for all the follows and favorites! I hope you all enjoy it! :D_

_Portuguese Beta: _**Rohh Lael**

_English Beta:_ **wintryone**

_Chapter artwork: goo .gl /U79pt (without the spaces. Link shortened by google - or if you prefer, you can check the link on my profile)_

_Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

* * *

_"You're angered, so am I_

_A thousand fires burn_

_A land of darkness_

_From which I cannot return_

_[…]_

_You're frightened, so am I_

_A world of demons wait_

_Watching the movements_

_And filling my heart with hate."_

_-Haunted, Disturbed_

* * *

**Chapter 3**

The Eagle in the Forest

.

Nobody would believe it if they were told Kallian's first experience with horses was only the previous morning. Obviously she didn't have Duncan's posture nor Noah's elegance, but somehow it was working, and that's all that mattered.

It was their second day of traveling. Duncan explained that it would take about five days to reach Ostagar, but with a shortcut and a little luck they could save a day or two. Except for some brief explanations about the places through whichthey passed, the group traveled in silence. Noah made these creepy sounds in his throat to show he was listening, and Kallian just asked a question or two about what Duncan said, but not enough to maintain a conversation.

On the first night they camped, the silence continued. Duncan knew they were exhausted, both mentally and physically, and decided that the best thing to do was to give them some space. None of them admitted it, but they were grateful for the time alone.

Neither Noah nor Kallian slept that night.

It was past noon when they entered the Brecilian Forest. Duncan pitched camp well before dark, which he had made clear that he would not do on the previous day. Kallian didn't complain. Her muscles ached so much because of the ride and her leg wound swelled with the effort. She was changing the bandages when the Noah's hoarse voice broke the silence.

"Why are we stopping?"

"Something is not right," Duncan said seriously, "I feel an evil presence similar to the Darkspawn, but I don't know exactly what it is, and that's what worries me."

"I believe that your greatest duty is Ostagar." His words were filled with such hate, something that Kallian didn't understand.

"Anything related to Darkspawn is the obligation of a Grey Warden, especially as relevant as this threat is," Duncan calmly said.

"Nonsense," Noah said, "No single group of darkspawn is more important than the _Blight_ itself!"

"Does this mean that the lives of those who are threatened have no value to you?"

"Not when the lives of thousands depend on this decision. As a Warden-Commander you should have that kind of common sense or at least listen to reason!"

"Noah," Duncan called gruffly. "I don't need you to tell me how to do my duty nor need your approval to make my own decisions." Kallian watched their debate in silence. "It's already decided. I will check this anomaly as soon as possible and we shall return to the road in the early hours of tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow?" By Noah's reaction, it seemed that Duncan had punched his face. "_Tomorrow_?" He repeated. "If that's the case, why do we have to stop? We just have to slay whatever it is and go back to the road!"

"Kallian need some rest," Duncan gave a brief smile towards the little elf. She was too grateful for the pause to let her pride contest him.

"If she can't handle the pressure, who cares?" Noah sneered.

Kallian would have responded but bit her tongue and began to mentally count.

"That's no way to behave in group." A vein in Duncan's forehead began to protrude.

"The Grey Warden's ranks don't need weak people," he said pointing at her with his finger. "If the Elf can't endure it, it's not my problem. To stop because of her weakness is pure stupidity." Noah laughed mockingly, "Grey Warden, what a joke!"

"Why don't you shut your fucking mouth before I use my _elvhen feet_ to kick your _noble ass_?" Kallian growled irritated, standing up and moving toward him. To the _hell _with the peace treaty.

"And why don't you keep your _Elvhen ass_ out of subjects that are none of your business before I cut your tongue out?" Noah growled back. Neither would give an inch, their faces close enough to bite each other.

"_ENOUGH!_" Duncan interjected, his patience at an end. "I did not save both of you to watch you bicker like two children!" He grabbed their shoulders and separated them.

"Once inside our ranks, there are no humans or elves. There will be only Grey Wardens. _Brothers and Sisters._ "He turned to Noah, "I will not tolerate that kind of disrespect towards Kallian nor any other recruit that we may find, regardless of who it will be." Noah was gritting his teeth so hard that the veins in his neck were visible. "Maker's breath, I don't want to see you both flying at each other's throats again. Do I make myself clear?"

"Whatever," Noah huffed and walked away, sitting on a rock as far as possible from them.

He turned to Kallian. "And you, if you want to prove that you are superior, it's not by giving into that kind of provocation that you will achieve it. You have to prove your worth with attitude, with reason. Do not speak, _be._" Despite the scolding tone, there was a certain gentleness in his words, "There will always be people with that kind of attitude, or worse. If you react this way every time that something like this happens, you are no better than they are."

"You talk like Valendrian," said Kallian.

"What good will it do if you retaliate against very person who provokes you? You can show that you are more skilled, but in fact, you will be just as savage as they are."

Kallian laughed with no humor. "And you think you know anything about this? About what we've been through or what we have to endure? You are nothing more than another human being with authority talking big. Don't tell me about how I should act!"

"I may not know as much as you do about what the Alienage life is like, but I've lived more than you have, child. I know how life works, how things are. And I guarantee you that the kind of person you were today is not the kind of person that goes far in life." He paused. "You and Noah are operating under misconceptions. Brute force can give you power, but only with wisdom will you leave your mark on the world." Kallian listened carefully. "Take a little time to think about what you really want for your life."

She was angry that he presumed to know what would be the best for her life, but deep inside she could feel her natural barriers crumbling. He had defended her and, despite having quarreled with her, he did not look down on her. And a good part of what he had said made sense.

Kallian just nodded in response.

"Get your bandages done," he continued. "I would have resolved this matter on my own, but I don't want to risk having you both kill each other in my absence." He then turned to Noah. "We will leave in ten minutes."

Kallian looked down at her leg - the wound was starting to turn a bad shade of purple - and gave a long sigh. She was starting to hate horses.

* * *

"Is she ...?" Kallian asked, looking down at the woman lying on the floor in front of them. Duncan's intuition had led them to an abandoned ruin, where they found an unconscious elf at the entrance. She had long blond hair that went to her waist pulled into a ponytail, and a simple tattoo that resembled a crescent moon in the middle of her forehead and fine lines that spread parallel to her eyebrows. She didn't seem to be older than the other recruits.

"Dead? No, but the Darkspawn taint runs through her veins," Duncan said, lifting her in his arms, "We have to take her back to her clan." Noah snorted behind them, but said nothing.

Duncan was able to track down the Dalish camp, no more than an hour away. Actually, it was more like he knew where they were from the beginning.

The Dalish greeted them with caution and, despite showing a bit more kindness to Kallian, the distrust was obvious.

While Duncan and the Keeper turned their attention towards the woman they called Mahariel, Noah sat isolated from others to sharpen his weapon - a huge two-handed sword with golden ornaments and a strange symbol carved into the blade, which Kallian didn't noticed until that moment. That explained his broad shoulders and his strong arms. He manipulated the object as if it were made of wood. She did not realize that she was staring until his eyes met hers. Although her first reaction was to look away, she didn't do so. His eyes had no trace of the hatred he had been distilling since the first they met. Instead, there was a hint of sadness, and Kallian realized something else that had been there all this time and she hadn't noticed.

He was alone. And unlike her, he had no place to return to.

Noah frowned and she looked away. She didn't need another argument and to keep staring at him would not improve the atmosphere between them. So she decided to move away from him. She did not want to cause trouble or invade the space of the Dalish, but she needed to sit somewhere. The last session of the cavalcade left her limping. The bandages were stained with blood, so she did not have to undo them to know that the wound had opened again.

"Uh ... Hi?" A Dalish girl approached her. She had a brown short hair blowing in the wind, a mixture of fear and curiosity in her bright eyes and a little pot in her hands. "Y-your friend said you were hurt," she said, keeping some distance between them.

"Yes, but your friend needs more help than me. I'll be fine." Kallian smiled. That encouraged the girl to come closer, and sit beside Kallian.

"C-can I take a look?" She asked timidly, as if not wanting to offend. Kallian nodded and began to remove the bandages.

"By the Creators!" she exclaimed, "What happened?"

"A jerk hit me," She grimaced and looked at the cut. The purple shade was darker and more swollen than before. While her other two wounds were recovering fast, this one had taken the opposite path.

"When was that?" She asked, opening the pot. Kallian saw a green paste inside, probably a poultice of herbs or something.

"Two days ago. It wasn't so bad, but after hours of riding, it got worse. I can barely stand without pain," she admitted. Since she had awakened, she'd decided to focus only on keeping going, one step at a time. Literally.

"Can I?" She asked, still unsure, with a portion of plaster in her hand.

"Sure," Kallian said, but regretted it as soon as she felt the green paste touching her skin. "Oh ... Andraste's Flaming ... Holy ... OUCH! It burns!" She moaned, biting her own hand to keep from screaming.

"Easy now, it will pass soon." _Really? My leg has a different opinion_. _Stepping on the flaming carbon should burn less_, she thought. "Your friend told us that the situation was not good, but I hoped it was not so bad! You got lucky the infection is in a early stage, otherwise the things would be more complicated." She started rattling in such a way that Kallian didn't dare interrupt her. "Luckily we had this remedy in the stock, because I am a lost cause with healing magic and the Keeper and the others are busy treating Mahariel, so it would take a long time until someone would be able to look into it and ... " She stopped when noticed the amused expression on Kallian's face. She was captivated by the little Dalish. "I-I did it again, didn't I?" She said embarrassed. "I'm going to shut up"

Kallian laughed for the first time since she'd left Denerim. "Let's start over. You can call me Kallian." She smiled sincerely.

"I-I'm M-Merrill." The little elf looked at the ground. "Ma'serannas *. For saving Mahariel." Merrill lifted her head, her eyes full of gratitude and hope. "Did you seen another where you found her? Tamlen is his name."

"Sorry Merrill, she was alone when we found her."

"I see..." Kallian saw Merrill's face crumple. "Tamlen went out after Mahariel yesterday, but he has not come back."

"I hope they find him soon," Kallian said while she was bandaging her leg. Merrill was right - the burn was being replaced by a nice refreshing feeling.

"Me too," she said weakly. Kallian could see her eyes shining with the unwanted tears.

Duncan left the Keeper's tent with a serious look in his face, signaling for Noah to follow him. Kallian threatened to stand up, but he raised his hand in protest.

"You will stay here and rest," he said, making clear that it was his last word.

Once they left for the woods, Merrill stood. "You can rest in my tent if you want."

Kallian almost declined the offer, but the current circumstances made her think twice about it. She was exhausted and all those nights that she spent awake were weighing on her more and more each minute. In the end she nodded, concluding that a few hours of sleep would not do any harm.

* * *

**Noah**

We're back at the ruins, where we found the other elf. I can sum up our little expedition in two words: Darkspawn and spiders. A complete waste of time. Apparently the source of the whole discussion we had earlier was because of a mirror. _A stupid mirror!_

Duncan said it was corrupted by the taint and that it should be destroyed. That's the great and noble duty of a Warden. What a _joke_...

He also said we should keep an eye out for another Dalish who supposedly was lost here. We looked everywhere, but we could not find anything other than a hunting bow and more Darkspawn. By then, he'd probably been swallowed by the Earth. Duncan himself said his chances aren't good.

As we walked back - Yes, walking. We left the horses at camp to save them for tomorrow - I've been collecting some plants. In the castle we had a servant who was a great Herbalist and taught me everything he knew about herbs and their effects. Many of the plants around here I knew.

"You're feeling something, Noah?" Duncan asked.

"No," I replied, knowing where this was going.

"Why do you get these herbs, then? If I remember correctly, this combination makes a strong painkiller." He pointed to the bundle in my hands.

"If you know the answer, why do you ask?" I growled. Do not play with me like that, old man. I'm not stupid.

"Noah, this is not you," He said. "Your attitude, all this anger. I know you. You're a good man, but so much hate can end up consuming who you really are."

I laughed coldly, "And who am I?" Tell me - because I would _love_ to hear that answer.

I expected a sermon like the ones my father gave me when I was younger, but to my surprise, he said nothing, only pointed to the bundle in my hands and resumed his walking in silence.

I was not sure why I was gathering the herbs. But the truth is that I did not know much. After what happened to my family ... Everything lost its meaning. I knew that since we left Highever I had been unfair to Duncan. He saved my life and all I could do was complain over and over again. But I had to find my brother in Ostagar. Warn him of the betrayal we had suffered. Tell him about his wife and child...I will not let the same thing to happen to him, no matter what.

Fergus is my only family now and I needed to find him.

We were supposed to be at Ostagar by the next night, but because of that redhead whose name I couldn't remember, our pace slowed a lot. I don't like the way she looks at me, always challenging me, testing me, unafraid to provoke me. But today, for the first time, I saw something different in her eyes. There was always the usual presumption, but also a dash of curiosity. As if her golden eyes were trying to read me.

But it didn't mattered.

Upon arriving at camp, something finally clicked in my brain and I had no more doubts that the Maker was committed to provoking me in all his deeds. Duncan planned to recruit the blond elf and we wouldn't leave this place until she woke up.

I huffed, defeated. Anything I could say would only generate further discussion, and I honestly was exhausted. I didn't sleep well for almost a week and I was starting to feel my muscles failing.

But I still had one last thing to do before I could call it a day.

* * *

**Kallian**

I woke in the middle of the night covered in a cold sweat because of a nightmare. A normal one, with the incident at the Arl's dungeon.

Just because I said it was normal, it didn't mean that it wasn't a crap.

I knew I would not be able to sleep again, so I got up and went to see how Mahariel was doing. I found Noah sitting on a rock with his head in his hands on my way to the Keeper's tent. He was visibly upset, like always. Probably his night was no better than mine. However, it was not my problem and since he didn't seem to have seen me, I ignored him and went back to my walking.

Mahariel was delirious with a fever, calling Tamlen over and over again. After a little talk, Merrill said she was in love with him, but had never confessed her feelings to him. She also said that the Keeper was using old magic to slow the taint, but even with her incredible natural resistance, which had allowed her to survive for so long alone – she would not live much longer.

Poor girl.

I decided to stay with them and help in any way I could. Keeping my mind busy was the best thing I could do to keep my ghosts away. Meanwhile, despite my protests, the Keeper took a look at my wounds. With her magic, she was able to heal my shoulder and my ear – Which, by the way, had a thick, long white scar. However, unless my leg's infection was contained, she could not close the wound without compromise it. _Wonderful!_

I must confess that I have my reservations about magic users, especially apostates. I'm not a magician, nor do I understand these things, but the few apostates who I have met throughout my life have had a dark power, an evil ingrained in the flesh that made me feel sick. However, I did not feel threatened by the Keeper, quite the opposite. She had a strong presence and her magic emanated tranquility rather than hostility. It felt good, actually.

In the morning, Mahariel's fever almost vanished and she awoke, disoriented. Her green eyes expressed confusion and despair.

"Where am I?" She asked in a weak voice, "Where's Tamlen?"

"Abelas, Da'len *" The keeper said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "You'll have to be strong."

"No!" She screamed, sitting up. "No. .." She was gasping, holding back the tears the best she could and failing miserably, "He can't be dead!" she said sharply, rising and falling again right after. The abrupt effort was too much for her weak body. I held her before she fell.

"Slow down," I said, helping her back to bed.

"Who are you?" She asked, looking at me suspiciously.

"She and two humans found you, Mahariel," Merrill said, holding the hand of her friend, a sad expression in her eyes.

"Shemlen? What are they doing here?"

"I'll leave you alone," I said. It was a lot of information to be processing, and the presence of a stranger would only make it worse.

"No, you…" Mahariel said, "Explain what happened. Now."

I explained everything I could. Who we were, how we found her and why we were there. Duncan entered the tent in the middle of my explanation and gave the rest of the details: The poisoned mirror, the fact that Tamlen could not had survived and that she would die in a few days unless she join the Grey Wardens. I did not understand how exactly the joining would give her immunity to the taint. It don't have much logic, but if Duncan said so, who am I to question his words? The Keeper also said that the clan would travel to the north, because that place was no longer safe, and ordered Mahariel to join us.

See? It's a _lot_ to process. I was feeling unwanted in that place. I didn't want to stay but I couldn't leave either. You wish to know why?

Well, because I saw myself in that girl.

I listened to her saying that she did not want charity from a human, how she begged the Keeper to allow her to stay, because she didn't want to be away from her family, and how everything sounded so strange and disturbing. It was like reading a book for the second time, and it was so damn wrong.

For her, leaving meant that she had a great chance of never seeing the clan again. She had the expression of someone who had just been slapped in the face, at least a dozen times. Watching it all was agonizing, because I knew what she was feeling and there was nothing I could do to change anything.

She was reluctant, but eventually accepted the offer, frowning and giving long sighs. She had no choice, just like me.

I could see her emotions written all over her face. She did her best to not fall apart, but her sorrow was there for anyone to see.

Merrill on the other hand was devastated. She didn't stop holding the hand of her friend the whole time, and didn't look at us while we spoke. When she did, before we left the tent, her brown eyes were full of resentment, with tears rolling down her face.

I felt terrible. Even knowing that I was not the one to blame for it, I was one of those who would steal her best friend.

I probably don't need to mention that none of them spoke to me after that.

Anyway, it was agreed that we would allow a few hours for Mahariel to recover and we would leave at noon, to the delight - or something near that - of Noah.

Suddenly, all the hours I slept last night evaporated like they were nothing. The mental exhaustion of that moment - all the memories that came back to my mind as I saw history repeat itself - made me feel worse than when I slept.

As I limped back to where our stuff was, Duncan came to me.

"She'll be fine," He said and I hope he was right. "She is a great hunter or so the rumors said. She will be a great Grey Warden one day," he said gently, "How is your leg?"

"It'll get better," At least the wound didn't opened again, and thanks to Merrill I had enough of that green poultice to treat me for the trip. I just hoped she wouldn't ask for it back.

"I know this is hard for you," he continued, "I know it seems that none of this is fair, but believe me when I say that you'll be fine."

I did not say anything, just nodded. He understood that I did not want to talk and walked away, leaving me alone with my own thoughts.

I went to where my things were, and sat down to change the bandages again. Noah was there too, doing pushups. To my surprise, I found a pack of plants tied to the handle of my bag. In the Alienage, we had no money to buy medicines from the market, so whenever we fled into the forest we stored plants to treat the sick later. Valendrian tried to teach me, but I never learned more than two or three types of herbs. Maybe Merrill had left them there yesterday when I went to sleep.

"Staring will not make them talk to you," Noah said impatiently.

"Maybe you can find a better answer somewhere deep inside your ignorance? Or am I asking too much?"

"It's Medicinal Herbs," he said. _Oh, really?_

"Something else to add beyond the obvious?"

"Really?" Hey, that's _my_ line, I thought. He stood and stared at me with his arms crossed and a look of disbelief on his face. "You're an elf and you don't know what this is?"

I snorted. Yeah I did not know, but just because I'm an elf it doesn't mean that I need to know everything, right? He sighed, rubbing his hair.

"These are for pain," he continued, "Chew a leaf of each one twice a day and your leg will not hurt so much." He turned his back and walked away, back to where his things were.

I thought for a moment. "You know who put this here?" I asked.

"Do you think I care?" He said without turning around.

I looked at the bundle one last time before obeying. It was bitter and a little citric, but I would make the sacrifice if it meant that the pain would stop.

Something wasn't right. If Merrill did that, she would have told me. Well, at least explained how to use it.

At that moment, I had a brief insight. Was it possible?

"Noah!" I yelled, not thinking about exactly what I was doing. However, I had only one way to find out. He stopped. "Thank you," I said, giving him a half smile.

Noah looked at me, and even as far as he was now I could see his eyes slowly widening as he was assimilating my words, the surprise written all over his face. I could even risk to say that I had seen him blushing before he put the mask of "_I don't care"_ back on his face and disappear into the forest.

* * *

**Notes:**

* Ma'serannas: Thank you.

* Abelas, Da'len: Sorry, child.


	4. Something about Trust

**A/N: **_Another chapter is up! Thanks for Reading! _

_Muito obrigada! De coração! :D_

**Credits:**

**Rohh Lael**: _Portuguese Beta_

**wintryone**: _English Beta_

**Artwork**: _goo. gl /reLVl (without the spaces)_

_Yep, it's Duncan this time. Pencil and paper, old style. Let me know what you think about it!_

**Disclaimer**: Dragon Age Universe Belongs to Bioware.

* * *

_"Lost in a dream nothing is what it seems,_

_Searching my head for the words that you said,_

_Tears filled my eyes as we said our last goodbyes,_

_The sad scene replays,_

_[...] __I can't believe this is true."_

_-Trust, Megadeth_

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Something about Trust

.

**Mahariel**

The fire was burning and so were my eyes.

I could not see an inch in front of my nose. My vision was blurred and I knew I was crying, but I did not care.

I was feeling everything and nothing at the same time, numb between my own feelings.

My body was reacting to Tamlen's funeral on its own, while my mind was in chaos. It took me years to admit my feelings for him, and now, just now when I was determined to make the things right between us, I'd lost him.

There wasn't even a body to say goodbye to.

I could feel that I was dying. I didn't need a Shemlen to tell me that. Although I wasn't offered an option, in the end it was my choice to join the Grey Wardens. And it wasn't to save me ... No... It was because of _them_. I would destroy every disgusting creature and avenge my people.

To kill every darkspawn. For Tamlen.

Paivel finished his prayer to the creators and I took a step forward. The Shemlen said the only thing that was found in the ruins was his bow, which I carried in my left hand. The original plan was to burn it at the pyre to represent his body and his memory, but instead of doing that, I pulled my own bow off my back and threw it into the fire, along with my heart. I didn't know what I would do with this hole in my chest. Actually, I did not know how I was breathing. It was a great irony that my body was struggling to stay alive while all I wanted to do was die and end the pain. The only thing I was sure of was that I would use his bow from now on, to keep his spirit alive inside me.

Merrill sobbed beside me, and I put my arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. Only a Few people understood her obsession for restoring our history and the glory of our people the way Tamlen and I did. Now she would be alone and I could not help myself and Now Merrill would be alone, and I could not stop myself from worrying over what she might do without her friends around to watch out for her. She is strong and smart, but she needs someone to look out for her. It may sound overprotective, but it's not like I didn't trust in her ability - she is a very naive person. Her extreme naive caused so many problems in the past, and certainly would bring more in the future.

All I could do was to have faith that she would be fine.

The ceremony was over, and soon I was left alone in front of the pyre. I could see the brown haired Shemlen staring at the fire, his face thoughtful. It was pretty hard to read his expression. But I had no time for this nonsenses. It was almost noon and I still had to pack my things.

With a last glance at the fire, I went back to my tent, leaving not just my old bow behind, but also… everything.

* * *

"Dareth shiral, Da'len,*" The Keeper said placing both hands on Mahariel's shoulders.

Saying goodbye was hard. Well, it was never easy. They were gathered at the beginning of the trail that would take them to Ostagar.

"Be well, Keeper," she said with a broken voice. Her eyes were red from crying. Mahariel turned to Merrill, who wept quietly, and embraced her tightly. Her protective way reminded Kallian of home and she had to look away to keep from crying.

"Be strong, Merrill. Don't do anything foolish, okay?" Mahariel said, her eyes still wet.

"Lethallan..." Merrill sobbed against her shoulder.

When they broke the hug, Merrill looked at Kallian with pleading eyes. There was still a trace of resentment in her face, but not as intense as it was earlier.

"Take care of her," Merrill whispered. Kallian nodded with a weak smile.

Mahariel took a deep breath and looked one last time at her clan, tears rolling down her face. "Goodbye."

* * *

Kallian stared at the horse for long minutes. The herbs anesthetized her leg, but she couldn't find the courage to face another eight hours of riding.

"Something's wrong, city girl?" Mahariel said behind her, with a leather bag in one hand and Tamlen's bow in the other. They would share one horse, since they only had three.

"No," replied Kallian.

"So if you'll excuse me," Mahariel climbed on the horse at once, with a lightness and grace that not even Noah had. "You're coming?" Her voice was filled with indifference.

Kallian didn't answer immediately, just got on the horse, behind Mahariel at a safe distance, holding her waist.

"Learn with a _real_ elf, _city girl!_" Noah yelled, and gave her an evil smile.

"Oh, shut up," Kallian said upset, but could not stop her lips from curving into a small smile.

As the hours passed, Noah confirmed his suspicions. They were advancing almost three times faster than they had before.

Duncan realized how Mahariel was experienced with horses and the group was moving at a faster pace, which they sustained very well the entire way. At least they would reach Ostagar by morning.

Even though they were keeping the pace, Kallian felt Mahariel's body flinching. At first, it was just a falter or two each hour. Now, she barely could keep steady.

"Are you okay?" Kallian asked, touching her shoulder.

"Yes," Mahariel replied, but her hand slipped from the reins. Kallian caught them with her rogue reflexes, and their hands touched briefly.

"You're fever!" Kallian said, putting her hand on Mahariel's forehead to confirm the warmth she had felt in her hand.

"Yes," Mahariel repeated. "Look, I do not need your pity. You're weak, and I don't need help from a creature like you."

"Excuse me?" Kallian loosened the reins and began to search for something in one of the bags tied to the horse. _Am I fated to meet these kind of people? Void be damned… _She thought.

"You're no different from the Shemlen," Mahariel continued, "You hide yourselves inside those holes you call home, and let humans do what they please with you and do nothing to change it. You're afraid to fight."

"Yes, of course, and you hiding yourselves in the forest and living on the run makes you better than me," Kallian rolled her eyes, and taking the reins from her hand, she replaced it with a potion the Keeper made for the occasion. Mahariel didn't complained and took the medicine, letting Kallian lead the horse. Her body was too weak to protest.

Far ahead, leading the group, but close enough to see the whole scene, Duncan smiled, satisfied.

* * *

They traveled until late at night, enjoying the light of the full moon to cover as much ground as possible. Mahariel's fever lowered enough for her to take control of the situation again, but she was not exactly well. It was near midnight when they stopped.

Although Noah and Kallian both had problems with nightmares, they fell asleep really quickly that night. It didn't matter how great the will to resist was – there's a point when the body does not obey the mind anymore. And for the first time, they both really rested.

But the biggest surprise came shortly before dawn.

Kallian woke up with a hand shaking her shoulder. Her first impulse was to pull her small dagger and slit the throat of whoever was there, but Noah grabbed her wrist before she did any damage.

"Rise up," He said, letting go of her hand.

"What happened?" she asked, half dazed by the sudden movement.

"The Dalish fled," he said roughly.

"What?" she stood, looking around. Mahariel's bedroll was empty.

"Forget about it," Noah said, putting his sword on his back. "Pack your things. We're leaving now."

Kallian took a while to process everything that happened, but gathered her things and headed to where Noah and Duncan were with the horses.

They rode in silence for a while. The forest was clearer because of the sunrise, but the visibility was still bad. Kallian waited until the orange rays of light stayed strong before she said something.

"Duncan?" She called.

"Yes?"

"You were on watch yesterday." It was not a question.

"Yes." He looked at her in a way that implied that he knew where she was going.

"Why did you let her get away?" Kallian knew that this kind of thing only could happen if he had allowed it.

"I didn't," he replied calmly.

"But you didn't stop her either." Again it was not a question.

"No," he confirmed.

"Why?"

"I think your real question is why she and not you." He looked into Kallian's eyes.

"If I was the one that had escaped, you would have found me."

"Yes, probably I would." He looked back at her.

"But you will not try to find Mahariel?" She no longer knew where he was going. With each question she asked, things made less and less sense. "No," he said.

"I don't understand."

"Why don't you try to honestly answer why you have stayed?" Kallian thought for several minutes but said nothing. "Even though you did not like leaving your home, you've embraced the idea. Deep inside your heart, you agreed that as a Grey Warden you can do much more for them than just staying in the Alienage as the Scrapper," he said, calmly. "Although I recruited you, it was you who chose to continue on that path." He paused. "I have faith in you two. And I know you will be great Wardens one day, because is not the hunger for glory that moves you." He looked at her and smiled. "I know Mahariel embraced the idea, she just does not know that yet. She needs some time."

"So..." Kallian said, trying to assimilate everything. "Do you think she'll come back?"

"I have as much faith in her as I have in you." He turned his eyes to the road.

Humans do not have _faith_ in their slaves, she thought. They'd know each other a little less than three days and she no longer felt uncomfortable in his presence.

_I wonder if he really meant it_ ... Kallian thought.

* * *

"I can't believe we did it…" Noah said getting off the horse. They had arrived in a large ruin, crowded with soldiers and tents. Everything was organized, in perfect harmony with the part of the forest that had invaded the buildings. Kallian forgot for a moment that they were at war.

"We will fight the Horde here," Duncan said as he tied the horses. "There are only a few Grey Wardens in Ferelden, but all of us are in Ostagar. We must prevent the darkspawn advance northward, otherwise Ferelden will fall."

"What's next?" Noah asked, looking around.

"Well …"

"Ho! Duncan!" A blond man in golden armor, who was surrounded by guards interrupted them. Duncan made a little bow, while Noah and Kallian kept their stances.

"King Cailan. I did not expect..." _That the King was on the battlefield? Neither did I,_ thought Kallian.

"A Royal Welcome? I was starting to worry. I thought you'd miss all the fun!" he said, excited. Noah clapped a hand over his face_. Cailan still isn't taking anything seriously_, he thought.

They briefly discussed the situation. Cailan spoke about the glory of the battle that was to come like an epic fairytale, which left Duncan visibly uncomfortable. Kallian had never seen Noah rolling his eyes so much in so little time. The king did not seem to heed Duncan's warnings.

"These must be the recruits that I heard of." Cailan turned to Noah. "You must be the youngest son of the Cousland. Tell me, how's Bryce?"

"Dead," Noah said crossing his arms.

"What? Duncan, you know something about this?"

"Bryce Cousland and his wife are dead, your majesty. Arl Howe proved to be a traitor and took the Highever Castle," Duncan said. Noah was frowning, his jaw flexed hard. It looked like he was going to explode at any moment. "If we had not escaped, he would have killed us, too, and he would have invented any story that was the most convenient."

"I understand," Cailan said. "I believe that you're looking for your brother, but he is patrolling the forest right now and should not return until after the battle."

"I need to talk to Fergus. Can't you send a messenger or something like that?" Noah asked hoarsely.

"We cannot locate them. You'll have to wait for him to return to speak with him." Noah Pinched his brow. "Once we're done here, I will go with my troops to the north and I will ensure that justice is done. You have my word."

"Your word?" He raised one eyebrow. "Nothing more?"

"There's nothing I can do before that," Cailan said. "For now, I can only ask that you use your grief against the darkspawn."

"And what would a fool like you know about my grief?" Noah growled.

"Ahem," Duncan cleared his throat and Noah stared. He had no intention of apologizing.

"Don't worry Duncan, I understand." Cailan raised his hand and smiled, turning to Kallian. "And you, my friend? What's your name?"

Kallian crossed her arms. "Kallian." _And you're the guy who allowed us to live in a living hell. You are definitely not my friend_; she completed mentally and bit her tongue to keep from saying it aloud.

"And where are you from?" he said smiling.

"Denerim's Alienage"

"And how are things there? ... My guards-"

"Oh, please, don't pretend you care," Kallian said indignantly. "Everyone knows that people like you do not give a shit about us, so let's cut to the chase."

"I'm sorry, your majesty," Duncan interfered, clearing his throat again, "Do I have to remind you two that you are talking to the King of Ferelden?" He cast disapproving looks at both recruits.

"Do not worry, Duncan. They are only stressed by the journey. They need a break." He turned to Duncan "So, any news?"

They began discussing details again, but Kallian and Noah only heard the words "glory" and "darkspawn". Duncan said they should meet with a Warden named Alistair - who had gone on some task –and for an hour, they were free to explore as long as they didn't leave Ostagar.

When they were far enough away, Noah growled.

"Something wrong?" Kallian asked, looking around trying to find the Warden's Quarters that Duncan had mentioned.

"Our king is an idiot," he said angrily.

"_Your_ king, not mine."

"Whatever," Noah shook his head. "He thinks this is a joke. He does not believe that this is a Blight."

"Do you believe?" They stopped and looked at each other for a moment in silence. His expression softened.

"I trust Duncan," Noah said and turned to resume walking.

Kallian thought about what he said. Trust was a strong word, but she could not think of any other way to describe how she felt about Duncan. She had not know him for even a whole week yet, but he was good and kind to her and never subdued her. It was the first time a human had treated her as an equal. Trusting or not, one thing she was sure of - she respected him.

But it did not change what she felt towards the others.

As they walked into the heart of the camp, she could feel the stares the others threw at her. Being in a place surrounded by humans was unpleasant. One of the soldiers even asked if she was Noah's servant.

"_What?_ Say that again to my face your _bloody son-of-a.._." She was prepared to make him swallow the words, but Noah stepped between them.

"Let it go," he said, casting a glare cold enough to make the soldier go away.

Things with Noah were different. He was rude and annoying, and she definitely did not trust him. But living together, turbulent and chaotic as it was, somehow, it was just easy.

His moodiness was apparently directed at everyone. It wasn't something he saved exclusively for her

No looks. No touches. Only silence, most of the time.

_This might not be so bad after all_, she thought.

They arrived at the Warden Quarters. Apparently, Duncan had ordered them to prepare tents and equipment for their arrival. Kallian put her bag on the floor and pulled her sketchbook from it, along with some pieces of coal. While she was throwing her stuff inside the tent, some of her papers fell to the ground.

"Seriously?" Noah said, picking up one of the sheets and analyzing it. It was a very detailed drawing of an elf he did not know.

"Really what?" She turned, noticing the papers on the ground.

"You brought a sketchbook for the war?" He raised his hand above his head when she tried to take picture out of his hand Most elves are smaller than humans, but Noah was tall, and the top of Kallian's head barely reached his shoulder. "What the hell were you thinking?"

She gathered the rest of the drawings from the floor and crossed her arms "Give it back."

He released the paper and kept staring at her until she put it inside the book with the others.

"We're screwed," Noah said, shaking his head and turning toward his tent.

Kallian had to count to ten several times to keep from shouting at him. _Forget what I said about him_, she thought.

* * *

**Notes:**

**Dareth shiral, Da'len**: Have a safe journey, child.

**Lethallan**: Caring form to call someone you like.

* * *

_**A/N: **Come on, don't be shy, leave a review! I would love to hear your thoughts about it :D_


	5. (Not so) Nice to Meet You!

_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Artwork:**__ goo. gl /9ZyHE (without the spaces)_

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

* * *

_"The rain is falling, _

_The rain is falling now_  
_Can i be changed?_  
_Or am I the same?"_

_-Revis, Rain_

* * *

**Chapter 5**

(Not so) Nice to meet you!

.

**Kallian**

_One. Two. Three._

Ignoring other's looks was a specialty of mine. Let's say, I have practiced it all my life. It was a gift.

_Four. Five. Six._

Patience was another thing that I practice very often. However, I was not so good at it. Especially when I was surrounded by Shems who thought that I was their servant.

_Seven. Eight. Nine._

I was confused by their assumptions: messenger, servant, messenger, whore, messanger, slave... Have I mentioned messenger? I'd been there for only a half hour and I was angry beyond bearing.

_Ten._

It was the number of times I took a deep a breath to keep me from hitting anyone. It was the number of times I had counted to ten to not answer anyone. It was the number of times I had almost lost my self-control.

I have to tell you, my friend, that when the quartermaster started to yell at me because he'd confused me with another elf who'd stolen is armor, I decided I'd had enough.

I'd gathered my sketchbook and my coal pieces and looked for a quiet place as far as possible from the other people. For some reason, the soldiers avoided the edges of the ruins, especially those near the cliffs. And that was the place I had chosen.

The view was beautiful.

The rocks and trees mingled as if they were one. The sky was overcast, but the leaves glowed every time the wind blew. It was cold, especially upon the rock on which I sat on, but it did not bother me. I was grateful for the silence.

I opened my sketchbook carefully so my paper wouldn't fly away. I'd kept all the drawings I'd done since I was younger - my parents, my cousins, friends and all who got my attention, and included little footnotes sometimes.

My drawings were my connection with the past - with my family.

I looked carefully at the only sketch I had of my mother – Smiling, with her arms wide open.

That was how I always remembered her - a kind look and a warm smile. The strongest and most fearless person I've ever known.

I wondered what she would think of all of this if she were alive.

I nodded a couple of times and concentrated on organizing the other sketches.

What they were doing right now?

I realized that looking at their faces was bringing the memories back - all the things I wished to forget, so I gave up. I safely tucked them back inside the sketchbook and pulled out a blank paper instead. My hand started to work on its own. Normally that's what always happened. I did not use models for drawing; I just tried to transfer to the paper the mental image I had of each person. How I remembered them. It worked most of the time.

Duncan's face was slowly appearing on the paper. He did not smile, but wasn't angry either. He was just calm - with a serene, relaxed expression. The corners of his lips were slightly curving upwards.

I was not sure how much time I spent there, but it was probably time to seek Alistair. I stood up and gathered my things, walking the same way I'd come. However, there was a group of soldiers crowded in the middle of the passage.

As I was not willing to hear more jokes, I decided to skirt around them and cut onto a parallel path that still went in the right direction. It would take twice as long, but at least I would have some peace.

I only realized my mistake when my foot sank into a rotten wood and I started to fall.

* * *

Noah was sitting opposite his tent with a bucket of water in his hands. He had exchanged his armor with the one Duncan had prepared for him, with some small adjustments of his own. He never liked heavy armor, despite having always fought on the front lines. He lost too much mobility. So the first thing he did was to remove the shoulder pads and parts of the forearm, thigh, gloves and boots. He just kept the chest plate, part of the greaves and the brace and elbow protections. To complete the set, he kept the leather boots he'd worn earlier and bandaged his wrists, hands and fingers with a thick bandage. Everyone always said he was incredibly stupid, but he always relied on his agility to compensate for the lack of protection.

Noah took a deep breath and poured the bucket over his head. Though he had been careful not to wet his body, he shivered with the cold water touching his neck. It was almost a torture, but he needed something to tell him that everything was real.

"Trying to cool down that hot head of yours, Noah?" Duncan asked, approaching.

"Literally," Noah replied with his lips trembling slightly.

"The armor was not of your liking?" Duncan said pointing to the pile of discarded parts.

"Yes, it was." Noah vigorously shook his head, removing the excess of water from his hair. "I just removed the unnecessary parts." He ran a hand through his hair. "This armor is way too heavy. It would only slow me down."

"I see." Duncan sat beside him.

There was a long moment of silence before either of them said anything.

"She brought a _sketchbook_ to a war," Noah said in a low voice, but there was no anger in it.

"Hmm." Duncan thought for a moment before answering.

"She's a child," Noah continued. "She will not make it. ... She-"

"Why do you hate her, Noah?" Duncan interrupted him.

"I..." Noah rubbed his face. "I don't hate her."

"Then why is it everything she does bothers you so much?"

"She remembers how I was before ..." The words got stuck in Noah's throat. "Before everything happened." He paused. I thought I knew everything, Duncan. I had always believed that I always knew best. Even if it turned out I was wrong, I knew I could handle whatever happened. I was never afraid to confront anyone, even though I knew I could not win." He stared at the floor." And look what happened. I lost everything." He looked at Duncan. "Duncan, she's not ready. Believe me, I know."

"And you, are you ready?"

"I'm _lost,_ Duncan," Noah confessed. "And every time I look at her, I remember someone I used to be and that now I can no longer find."

"Maybe you don't have to. You are who you are, and that will never change," Duncan said, putting a hand on his shoulder, "I know you're confused now, Noah. It's a lot for someone to handle at once. Your heart is blinded by pain and anger, but I assure you that when you can finally break free from this prison, you will see that what you were looking for was with you all the time."

"You're going to finish this speech with 'One day you'll understand', aren't you?" Noah raised his eyebrows and gave Duncan a small smile.

"You know me well, my friend," Duncan smiled and stood. "I'll be here when you're ready," He made a nod and walked toward the big pyre.

"Duncan!" Noah called, standing up. "Thank You."

* * *

"Hey You!" A voice called in the distance. Kallian thought they were talking to her, but she couldn't find her voice to answer it. "Hey!"

She slowly opened her eyes, annoyed with the light. She was lying on the floor, the very cold floor. She looked around slowly, trying to remember what happened. Her head ached. When she ran a hand through her hair, she felt the bump.

Then it all made sense.

She fell into a hole and fainted. She just didn't know for how long.

"Hey, you! Wake up!" The voice called from above her. At the top of the hole, there was a young man with black, bristling hair and sapphire eyes, looking at her. "Can you move?"

She did not answer; instead, she sat slowly checking for damage. Her head was still spinning a bit, but at least the light wasn't bothering her anymore.

"Well, it seems that you didn't break anything. I thought you were dead," he said watching Kallian stand. "Can you climb?"

"Maybe," Kallian said, hoarsely. The walls were made of irregular bricks, faulty enough to climb. For those who grew up climbing walls and houses to escape the guards, it was nothing. However, her injured leg disagreed.

"I'll get down," he said, disappearing from sight.

_Great, stuck in a hole with a shem. That's all I needed_...Kallian thought.

Not long afterwards, a rope was thrown down where she was, and the human started to climb down.

"There's no need for you to come down," she said putting her hands near her daggers. "Just help me with the rope!"

The man looked at her and returned to his original position. "Hold tightly then and I'll pull when you're ready."

Kallian narrowed her eyes and watched. If he'd had other intentions, he wouldn't have missed the opportunity to come down. Slowly, she picked up her sketchbook and wrapped the rope around her waist and her good leg. "Ready!"

The man began to pull. With her hands and one leg, she helped him, pushing herself up using the gaps in the wall.

"You got lucky," he said when he finally brought her back to the surface. "This area is full of abandoned ground wells. The one you fell in was three, maybe four meters deep. If it were another deeper one, you could have died from the fall."

"Thanks for the help," she said still on alert, while sitting a few feet away from him.

"What kind of work brought you over here? Are you looking for someone?" She was being mistaken for a servant again. But his voice held no trace of provocation or scorn, which made Kallian swallow the rude words she had planned to say.

"I am not a servant," Kallian said crossing her arms.

"No? Then ... Ah!" The young man exclaimed, his eyes suddenly lighting up. "You must be the new recruit that everyone is talking about!"

"Excuse me?" Kallian squinted. _They are talking about me? No way!_

"Yes, the elf recruited for the Grey Wardens. All the soldiers have been placing bets on you."

"What kind of bets?" She gave him a piercing look that made him uncomfortable.

"Well, they want to know if you will succeed," He said suddenly embarrassed to talk about it in front of the person most involved in the matter.

"And what exactly are the numbers?"

"Not very favorable to you," He confessed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"And your bet was...?" Kallian looked hesitant. For some reason, she was finding his embarrassment quite fun.

"Against you, I'm afraid," He said after a while.

"I'm sorry, but you will lose your money. Hopefully you didn't put all your savings on my failure, did you?"

"A pretty good part," He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, that was awkward."

"A little," Kallian said, standing up. She felt her leg hurt. She probably only fell on it wrong… _Just now as it was getting better ... _Kallian thought.

"Are you hurt?" He asked standing up as well.

"It's only an old injury."

"Can I take a look?" He offered.

"No," she said sharply. The stranger retreated.

"Well... Here, take it." He took a red packet from his pocket and handed it to her. She questioned him with a look. "There's an injury kit, bandages and potions inside."

"Thanks for your help ... and for this," She gestured to the small package.

"Like I said, you got lucky. Nobody usually comes here." He took a great sword from the ground and placed it into his back. His body was similar to Noah's – strong arms and broad shoulders. This man, however, was far younger than Noah. Kallian didn't know if Noah was in fact older, or if it was just his past experiences that made him look weary.

"So what were _you_ doing here, then?" Kallian looked around. From the position of the sun in the sky, she didn't think she was unconscious for long - maybe for an hour or less.

"Well..." He shifted his weight between his feet, uncomfortably. "I was bringing the pack to my sister," he began, looking at the horizon. "We had a stupid discussion for stupid reasons and we ended up fighting... She was hurt and left the camp very angry."

"When you say fight..."

"Yep, literally. It happens once or twice in a while," he said sadly, "It was my fault," he admitted. "At the time, when I was angry with her, I didn't care, but she has not returned yet. Then I had decided to go after her." He motioned with his hands as they walked back to camp.

"Here, take it back," Kallian handed him the red packet. "She must need it more than I do."

"No, seriously, she is probably fine." He rose his hand refusing.

They walked in silent for a while.

"Why did you fight?" Kallian asked.

"My sister overshadows me." He lowered his head. "She is everything I want to be, but I can't because she doesn't let me. And that's the reason for all our fights. No exception. But I do not want to talk about it."

"Okay," She watched him closely. He was visibly worried.

"I can help you if you want to search for her," Kallian offered.

"No. You must have your own Warden things to do." They stopped near the Mage's Quarters.

"Okay. I'll stay here then. I have to find someone and I'm probably late. Thanks for everything," she smiled.

"It was a pleasure to meet you ... erh..." He looked at her, a question in his eyes.

"Kallian Tabris," she said and reached out to him.

"Carver Hawke," He greeted her with a smile, squeezing her hand tightly. With a nod, he headed toward the soldier camp.

Kallian looked around, still half dazed by the fall. _I wonder where this guy Alistair is?_ She thought, as she walked back to the heart of the camp.


	6. A Little Light on my Path

**A/N:** _I would like to thank you for all the follows! This kind of thing really make my day better :)_

_Some little notes before we start:_

_First, I'd decided to take a break with the songs before the chapters. They will be used only in special occasions. _

_Second, there will be_ **no chapter next monday. **_Maybe I can manage to post, but I can't promise anything. _

_Third, Thank you, dear reader, for being with me ;)_

_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Artwork:**__ goo. gl /f0ys5 (without the spaces or check my profile)_

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

* * *

**Chapter 6**

A Little Light on my Path

.

**Noah**

_Maker give me patience_.

Because I lost mine long ago.

Why was finding single person was so damn hard?

I've searched everywhere. All the places I could think of - in every alley, in every corner, and nothing.

I was in the Mage's Quarter when I'd received the wonderful information that he was running around the camp, delivering messages. And where he was supposed to be right now?

I headed to the location they had indicated and I was angry for a good reason. Was I asking too much? Expecting the people to stay focused on their obligations?

While I was climbing one of the stairs, I'd seen the elf standing in one of the hallways. I'd noticed her expression - She didn't know where to start.

I'd remained on the stairs on purpose, waiting. Once I was sure she had seen me and started to follow me, I'd resumed my walking. The sooner we could get rid of the paperwork, the better.

I was not sure if I had slowed my pace or if she had ran, but we reached the spot almost at the same time. I did notice that she wasn't limping anymore, which was probably a good sign.

Anyway, we arrived in the middle of an argument between a man whose appearance matched Alistair's description and a mage I didn't know. I just watched from afar, not worried about the details. In the corner of my eye I could see that the elf was no more patient than I was.

In the end, the mage left the place, angry as if the warden had slapped his mother in the face. Alistair, on the other hand was smiling like a kid.

"You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together," He said with a smile.

I crossed my arms and started to stare at him. Was he _stupid_?

The elf didn't need to say anything – I _knew_ she thought the same thing.

"Uh ..." That _stupid_ smile slowly faded when he realized that we weren't going to say anything. "You know, I was just ..." He lowered his head scratching the back of his neck, embarrassed.

"Don't worry," the elf said. And here I was, thinking that for the first time we were going to agree on something. "Once this is over, they'll start to kill each other again." The elf told the truth, but I would rather she had stayed silent.

"The positive side is not as positive as it seemed, right?" There is no 'positive side' and he was the only one that did not realize that. _Stupid._

The elf remained silent this time. _Very nice._

"Wait," he said looking us over, from head to toe. "We haven't met yet, right? You guys don't not happen to be mages, do you?" Another _stupid_ smile.

"This," I said pointing at our garments. "Looks like a _dress_ to you?"

"Point taken ..." He swallowed his smile again. "You must be Duncan's new recruits. Sorry, I should have recognized you before."

"How could you know?" I asked. My height and my voice made him flinched slightly. It was almost imperceptible, but a real man knows how to recognize this kind of thing.

"The rumors arrived before us," the elf said sharply, without looking at me. "I have found that there's even a bet about my competence among the guards." She was visibly irritated.

"Tell me who is responsible," I said. She looked at me with surprise, her eyes slightly widening. Hah! This was like letting the child taste the sweet before removing it from its mouth. "So I can place my bet, too. Easy money is always welcome." I saw her rolling her eyes and I could not stop the small smile that formed on my lips. Mocking her always improve my mood. A little, at least.

"Duncan spoke with great enthusiasm about both of you in his letter. The elf from Denerim and the Lord from Highever." Alistair continued, ignoring the last part. "My name is Alistair and as a Junior member of the Wardens, I will be responsible for the preparation prior to your Joining."

"I'd rather take care of my own preparations," I said. _This must be a joke!_

"I'll try not to embarrass you," He told me, that stupid smile back on his face, but his eyes were a little ... Sad perhaps?

"Ahem," Kallian cleared her throat. "My name is Kallian and the frowning guy is Noah," she said with less outrage in her voice. _Great_, now she was being _nice_ to the idiot!

"Nice to meet you," Alistair said, relief written all over his face. I said nothing, but I could see that the elf nodded "You've met the other recruits?"

"No," she said, "I did not even know that there were others."

"No problem. They must be ready, maybe they're even with Duncan." He motioned for us to follow him.

And we did. The good part was that the other two recruits were with Duncan and apparently were ready for the preparations. It was relatively easy: Go to the Kocari Wilds, take four blood samples of Darkspawn and some papers from some Grey Warden building. Alistair would be our guide. _Wonderful…_

But the strangest thing happened when we were leaving the camp.

I heard a dog crying from one of the areas reserved for the Mabari hounds. It sounded like it was really suffering. I did not think twice and went to the place without a word. I could hear the elf saying that she would return soon and when I noticed, she was right beside me. I think that, by the sound of steps I'd heard, the others followed as well, but didn't bother to check.

The Kennel Master was rubbing his head when I arrived. He was so lost in thought that he did not see me approaching him.

"Ser," I said looking at the Mabari that had probably been yelping. It was different from the others - It had a snow-white pelage with gray ear tips and big and bright violet eyes. He was lying on the ground, looking apathetic. "What happened to him?" I pointed in its direction.

"Ah, hello friend," he said, shaking my hand. "This little boy is sick. I have no idea what it is."

"He seems to be suffering," the elf said, as she perched on the fence.

"He is. He is also very skittish, too. I cannot get close, he doesn't let me," The Kennel Master said, leaning on the fence. He suddenly turned to me, with a different glow in his eyes. "Can you try to calm him down?"

"Can I?" I asked hesitantly. He nodded, opening the gate.

I entered the enclosure and approached him, slowly. I could see that he was crying softly, his back raised and lowered so quickly... I knelt in front of him and put my hand near his nose. He sniffed hesitant, but gave a slight tail wag that I interpreted as a sign of approval.

I sat beside him and he put his head on my leg.

"Very good," The Kennel Master said, "It looks like he likes you."

I smiled, I could not help it. While I was stroking his neck, I remembered my old Mabari. It was so full of life, always eating my clothes. And the furniture. And our food, too.

My eyes burned a little with the memories. Poor Estúpido*, died in my arms protecting me during Howe's invasion.

Before you ask, no, my dog was not stupid. Estúpido* was his name. But take it easy, I was only seven years old when my father gave him to me. It is not always a good idea to let the kids be responsible for naming the family pets.

But I was not a fool. I knew the Mabari's imprint very well, and although he was more comfortable in my presence, his attention wasn't with me. His violet eyes were fixed on the golden eyes leaning against the fence.

"Elf," I called, looking at her, "Come here."

"What for?" she asked, confused.

"Do not argue. Trust me." I could see the mix of emotions crossing her face: disbelief, distrust and even a bit of sarcasm. But she did not question me – she shrugged and slowly entered the enclosure. I made a sign with my head for her to get down.

"Let him smell you," I continued. "Show that you will not hurt him."

"Okay." She reached out slowly near the dog's face, mimicking my previous move. He smelled her as well, but instead of wagging his tail, he put his head down on the Elf's palm, stirring so that it touched him. "Hey boy," she said smiling and he wagged his tail in response.

I smiled.

I was right, he had chosen her.

While the Mabari was distracted, I stood to take a good look at him. The Kennel Master said that in the Wilds there was a flower that could solve the problem. Since we were going there, I said we would take a look.

"You will get better, boy." I saw her smiling, leaning her forehead against his while she stroked his 'cheeks'. "I promise." The dog did the best he could to make a sound closer to a bark and wagged his tail, happily.

Like I said, I'm not a fool. Even with the Mabari distracting me, I could hear the comments of the other two recruits. They were restless, impatient, but I pretended I did not notice them. I'd also pretended not to notice the _stupid grin_ that appeared on Alistair's lips as he watched the elf.

* * *

**Kallian**

I was scared. The way the dog stared at me while I was on the fence ... It was like he was looking directly into my soul, calling me.

When Noah called me, I found it strange. He called me to come close with serenity, a certain ... Kindness… in his voice. He looked at the dog with a tenderness that surprised me. And of course, I could confirm that Noah was definitely bipolar. He had a few bouts of humanity when I least expected. I mean, he was visibly pissed until I started to pet the dog. I think it must have been a Mabari effect because I myself stopped thinking when he put his head in my hand.

The dog was suffering, but he had so much energy in those eyes. He wanted to live. And I was more than willing to help.

The truth is that I never had a pet. I always wanted one but never could afford to have one.

The Kennel Master explained that this connection I'd felt between us is called imprinting. And that if he got better, he was very likely to start to following me around. I was not sure if I was in any condition to take care of another living being, but I thought I would let time give me that answer. All I could do was smile as the little boy rubbed his forehead against mine.

When I looked back, the first thing I saw was my little group staring at me. Noah had a satisfied expression; Jory was bored; Daveth had a mischievous look typical of Shems who had not seen a woman for a while and Alistair was smiling. It was not like the sadistic smile of Vaughan or Daveth. It was different ...

Alistair was a weird guy. The way he acted. Noah definitely didn't like him. And I did not trust him any more than any other soldier in this damned place. However, his gaze was not like the others. And he also did not treat me badly. Yet.

"You will get better, boy. I promise," That's what I said. And I knew that by the glow of his violet eyes he understood me.

I was totally in love with the little one, but I knew that duty was calling me. So I stood and headed to the woods.

* * *

**Noah**

_Stupid._

It was just _pathetic_.

I know I'm using the word 'stupid' too often, but I'm not in the mood to worry about it. Actually I'm not in the mood for _anything_.

I had a very nice nostalgic moment with the small Mabari, but as soon as we left my head heated up again.

That guy _pissed me off_.

He was supposed to be our guide, but all he did was _following us around_ and _give directions_. He showed _no leadership_ at all. There was a time when I got pissed and took the map from him, taking the reins of the situation. I've always been good with maps. Besides my knowledge of herbalism, I had experience in cartography as well.

Not long after that, we encountered our first obstacle: wolves.

Neither the stupid guy nor the elf were as useless as they seemed. The elf fought very well, even with that lame leg. However, for a rogue, she was not a sneaky person. I think I made less noise than her.

But the stupid - I have to indoctrinate myself to call him Alistair or something else. My Mabari must be turning in his grave right now - made good use of that shield.

As for the other recruits ... Well, they were surviving, and I think that's what matters.

* * *

**Kallian**

I was still in shock.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I accepted this Grey Warden thing.

I followed the group at a slower pace, on purpose, to build a safe distance and think a bit.

_What the hell was I doing?_

I was so distracted looking at the stones on the ground that I did not realize Alistair was approaching me.

"Are you all right?" he asked quietly.

I nodded, looking at his mild expression. He had a curious look on his face.

Something in my expression encouraged him to continue. "When I saw a Darkspawn for the first time, I was scared. It was not like I'd expected and I was not eager to run into another one anytime soon."

"But I'm sure you didn't freeze like I did," I said, reminding him of my reaction when - what I'd found out later that it was a Hurlock - struck me. I was on the ground waiting for the coup de grace, unable to remember how my arms worked. The next thing I saw was his body was breaking in two, flying sideways violently after being hit by Noah's sword.

_"You're crazy?! You could have killed me if you missed_!" I remember saying that to him after realizing that he had _thrown_ that huge sword of his spinning it from about six feet away, like a boomerang, dart or something like that. _"You would have died anyway if I had not done anything,"_ was what he told me.

I could not look at them after that. I was too ashamed of what had happened.

"No," he replied. "But your reaction was not the worst, that I assure you," Alistair whispered and I was grateful for this initiative to keep the conversation only between us.

"I did not expect that. It doesn't look like anything I was told about," I admitted quietly.

"There's nothing someone can say that will really prepare you for this kind of situation," he continued, looking forward. "There's nothing to be ashamed of."

He spoke with such conviction that for a moment I almost believed him.

After walking for what seemed like half an hour, we found another group of Darkspawn - a Hurlock and Genlock on the front line, two archers at the rear and far away from them, an emissary.

A _mage._

Alistair took the lead, getting the majority of attacks on his shield. Daveth and Jory took charge of the archers and Noah engaged the Hurlock. They were very skilled, but my attention was elsewhere.

I ran as fast as I could - or faster than my bad leg let me - toward the emissary, as silently as I could so he would not notice me coming. Stealth was not my specialty. My mother said I was reckless, impatient, and it was true. Well, _part of the truth_. But at the time, it was working.

When the emissary noticed me, it was too late for him. His magic scratched my shoulder, but did not stop me from twisting his arm and cutting his throat.

Although he was dead, the touch of his magic on my skin still gave me the chills. I have not felt anything as disgusting as that since...

I pushed that thought away when I noticed the others approaching. With this Darkspawn group, we would have enough blood for Duncan's task.

* * *

**Noah**

I do not know how anyone really expects that a document would stay in the same abandoned place for _decades_ without anyone even _thinking_ about stealing them.

We were already almost three hours into the forest when we found the tower - the rest of it. And it was not long before we realized that nothing was left there.

I sat on one of the rocks and sank my face in my hands. That would delay us a lot, not to mention that if I had any hopes of meeting with Fergus, now I had _none_.

I looked through my fingers and saw the elf sitting too. She was clearly in pain, her forehead damp with sweat. She took the last leaves of the herbs and chewed them.

The others did not seem to notice it, since they'd continued grumbling about the complete waste of time this whole mission was.

"Well, well, what have we here?" A female voice came from behind one of the pillars. "Are you Intruders? Or mere Scavengers?"

"This tower is owned by the Grey Wardens," I said getting up and pointing my sword in her direction. I could see Daveth and Jory trembling when they saw the staff on her back.

Witch or not, she couldn't do anything without her head.

"This is no longer a tower and the forest was in charge of taking the remains of its rubble. I've been following you for a while, wondering 'where they would go?' or 'what they were doing?' Tell me, what do you intend to do, coming to a forgotten place like this in my forest? "She said walking towards us. The elf was holding her daggers tightly, facing the apostate with a penetrating gaze. The same look she gave to the Darkspawn emissary.

"Excuse me, but I think I missed the part where it says that this is _your_ forest," the elf said taking a step forward.

"So I think that you should start paying more attention to things," the witch smiled. "Especially when the subject is related to documents as valuable as the ones brought from this ruin long ago."

"You stole them! You... You... witch thief!" Alistair said. Honestly I do not know _why_ he opens his fucking mouth.

"Oh, how eloquent you are. Tell me all Wardens share such limited intellect?" Hah! I liked her.

"He is an exception," I said suppressing a smile, "Every good family has a black sheep," she smiled. I noticed that the tension eased a bit on both sides. Except the elf, who kept the defensive and defiant look on her face. She was so focusing in whatever she was doing that does not seem to be paying attention.

For once I would have liked to know what she was thinking about.

"Prove me wrong then Warden. Say your name and I'll give you mine." She said approaching and I lowered my sword - not a guard – in her response.

"Noah," I replied as she stopped in front of me.

"Very well," she said crossing an imaginary line that went from one of my shoulders to the other, in a provocative way. "Call me Morrigan if you want."

Her low-cut clothing, the hump of her hips as she walked, her eyes filled with ulterior motives, the malicious tone of her voice ... Everything about her inspired seduction. She was a beautiful woman, no doubt, and she not only knew that but she used this to her advantage.

But I'm not the kind of man who gets fooled by a woman's body.

"All I want is information," I growled, pulling my shoulder out of reach of Morrigan's fingers.

"Straight to the point, huh? I like that in a man." She said walking back to her original position, "And you, little elf?" She returned her gaze to the redhead. "You became suddenly awful quiet, just staring at me. From what you said earlier and as the woman in the group, I thought you would lead this conversation. Did I scare you? Or you're afraid that I'll turn you into a mushroom like these scared boys? "Morrigan made a small gesture, referring to the other three.

"We will talk as soon as you undo the energy field around us." _Energy Field_? What the hell she was she talking about?

"Oh, so you noticed." Morrigan looked uncomfortable.

"What are you talking about?" Alistair asked.

"My Protection." Morrigan paused, staring at us. "A girl cannot trust in strangers, don't you agree?"

"I completely understand," the elf replied, "But you have my terms."

"How about your daggers?" Morrigan asked.

"_My_ Protection." the elf said. The apostate laughed.

"Fair enough," She turned her wrist and a loud explosion happened around us and blew a cold breeze. So she really was playing with us. _Bitch._

The whole question was: How had the elf known that?

"So, will you tell us what we want to know?" The elf said lowering her daggers. Her gaze, however, was unchanged.

"I did not steal your precious documents," Morrigan said crossing her arms against her chest.

"You wouldn't make this whole scene if you knew nothing," I said losing my patience. _Enough with the games._

"It's true that I know. Indeed, my mother was the one who took them." She confessed, pleased with the surprise of the group, "Follow me."

* * *

**Kallian**

During our walk back to Ostagar, I reflected on what had happened.

First, her mother was _crazy_. Not the _good_ kind, to be clear. Dangerous kind of crazy. And I did not need to know that she was the Witch of the Wilds to reach this conclusion. Just the atmosphere of the place made me want to vomit.

In the end, she had returned the documents. But the "I was protecting them for you!" story did not hold true - Sorry, but I do not believe in altruism.

The worst part was to discover - or confirm, whatever - that two of my mates were cowards.

Daveth and Jory were unable to form sentences without stuttering. No attitude at all. Alistair dared to speak, but inside I could see he was scared. As for Noah ... Well, he kept being himself, and I do not believe that he will ever change.

By the way, I lied. The worst part was going to the healer that Duncan had indicated – Wynne was her name. A lady very friendly for a mage – and to find that even with the infection gone - thanks to Dalish medicine - and my wound healed, I should feel a little pain for a few days until it return to normal. _Oh well._

But not everything was lost.

Ready to hear the best part?

Between my fingers were the white flowers that would heal the Mabari. It was the first time since my life had turned upside down that I felt truly happy.

I smiled as I walked toward the Mabari Quarter - The last stop I would make before my Joining.

* * *

_***Estúpido:** It's the portuguese word for Stupid, in english. I'd created Noah based on my boyfriend's gameplay, so I'd decided to keep some of his characteristics like the Mabari's name and his deep hatred for Alistair._

_Please, leave a review. I would like to hear your thoughts :)_


	7. Before the Dawn

**A/N:** _I would like to announce that Kallian's Sketchbook will get back to its normal agenda starting __today._

_Since I believe that RL will not be a problem for a while, there will be a new chapter every monday from now on._

_This chapter is for __**Rohh Lael,**__ who did not let me forget that he has already reached the current chapter and is pressing me for more. If you wake up tomorrow with 3 more chapters ready at your door, do not forget that it was __**you**__ who asked for it. Joking sweetie, you know I love you, right? ;)_

_._

_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Artwork:**__ goo. gl /FrCOj (without the spaces or check my profile) Thanks for the suggestion, Rohh Lael ;D_

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

_**Edit 27/11/2012 : **Fixed a minor grammar mistake. Thanks wintry :)_

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Before the dawn

**.**

**Kallian**

_"Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that can not be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day we shall join you_."

Alistair's words echoed loud in my head as I watched Noah receiving the cup of blood from Duncan.

And Jory was _dead. _

Duncan stabbed him.

When Jory found that the ritual could kill him, he panicked. He drew his sword and tried to flee. In the next second, he was lying dead a few feet from me. Why?

Duncan had not killed Mahariel when she fled. Why did he have to kill Jory?

"There's no turning back," was what Duncan said.

And through his eyes, I knew he really meant it. I would die by his blade or by the corruption of the taint. The only chance I had was to resist. Keep straight with this until the end and resist.

_Survive._

I saw Noah hesitating. He was awfully serious, apparently processing everything. However, despite his calm and his seemingly unshakable self-control, his breathing was really fast and I could see by the look in his eyes that he was scared.

Suddenly I realized that he was reflecting my own anxiety. I could almost hear his heart beating as strong as mine.

He stared down into the cup and hesitated. I could see the determination in his eyes welling up as he took a deep breath and raised the object up to his mouth, taking a long swig of the liquid.

"From this day forward, you are a Grey Warden," Duncan said, taking the cup from him.

"Noah's eyes widened, and I could see the cords in his neck bulge out." His eyes rolled back and he fell choking, putting his hands to his throat before collapsing.

Alistair knelt beside him, pressing his fingers against Noah's neck to check his breathing.

"He'll live," he said apparently relieved as he looked at Duncan.

I let out a breath I did not knew I was holding, relieved.

Daveth had passed through the same process. However, he gave a muffled cry before falling lifeless on the ground. Alistair shook his head with a sad expression.

"I'm sorry Daveth," Duncan said, turning to me then. I took the cup with trembling hands and took a good look around me.

Duncan's expression was full of expectation. Alistair had his head lowered, frowning. However, his eyes were fixed on me.

There were three other Wardens present, but they were so dry and impersonal that I didn't care to record their names. They were pretty confident about Noah, but their expressions changed as soon as it became my turn. Their mask of disbelief made me want to kick their dammed asses.

And I would have loved to do it, if only I could remember how my legs worked.

"From this day forward, you are a Grey Warden," Duncan told me, looking into my eyes, but the sound of my beating heart was so loud in my ears that I just guessed that this was what he said. I was so scared that I could not keep my hands steady, much less get rid of the feeling that my legs would fail at any moment.

But I knew that these feelings would only harm me, so I tried to clear my mind and focus on what had to be done.

I took a deep breath and raised the cup up to my mouth.

The blood was cold in the cup, but was warm when it touched my lips. But when it slid down my throat, it became hotter and hotter until it reached my stomach and started to burn like hell. From there is spread to every vein in my body. I felt like my flesh was crumbling. My vision blurred, the air did not reached my lungs and the last thing I felt was my head hitting the ground.

* * *

"She'll live," Alistair said checking Kallian's pulse at her throat.

"Very good," Duncan said, ordering the other Wardens to take care of the bodies. From the corner of his eye, he saw Alistair staring at Jory, visibly uncomfortable.

"I know how you feel Alistair," Duncan continued. " But you must understand that our work often requires us to be other than nice."

"I know Duncan. I understand," Alistair said, staring at the puddle of blood on the floor. "But it doesn't mean that I have to like it."

"This feeling is important, Alistair. This kindness shows your character, and it will help you to keep sober in this crazy world, but at the same time it's a good thing, it is also equally dangerous." Duncan said putting the cup inside a leather bag. "As a Grey Warden, you have to remain neutral – You should never get involved. Which means you cannot always do what you think is right, and there are times you must go against your own principles on behalf of the greater good.", "he added, placing a friendly hand on Alistair's shoulder.

"I know, but ..." Alistair stroked the back of his neck, still staring at the ground. "I did not know him, but he seemed to be a good man with a family and a whole life ahead of him. He didn't deserve to die."

"Good people die every day." Duncan raised Kallian - who showed few signs of agitation – in his arms carefully and nodded for Alistair to do the same with Noah. "What we can do is to use all possible and impossible means to stop the Blight and prevent more innocent people from suffering the same fate." Duncan sighed heavily before continuing. "As for those who perished during the ritual, we can only honor their sacrifice by giving our blood to fulfill our mission, as they did."

Alistair did not answer. He just put Noah on his shoulders, thoughtfully. It all made sense to him, yes, but it didn't make the situation better.

Seeing that Alistair was still uncomfortable, Duncan decided to change the subject.

"What did you think of them?" Duncan asked, looking at Noah.

"They are very skilled."

"Now, now, I know that! Why do you think I recruited them?" Duncan gave an amused smile, "I want to know your opinion. What can you tell me after spending an afternoon with them?"

"Oh, that. Well..." Alistair lowered his head, turning to face the ground again. "They hate me."

Duncan laughed hard. "Oh don't be so dramatic."

"I do not know if this will work, Duncan," He admitted, as they descended the stairs that led to the Grey Warden Quarter. "They keep to themselves and don't talk much, and definitely they don't share my incredible sense of humor." He forced a smile.

"Be reasonable, Alistair," Duncan said smiling while gently accommodating Kallian within the large tent, which he had arranged for their arrival. It had two bedrolls already stretched on the ground, one at each, separated by a thick cloth that divided the place into two sections. "Sometimes people can seem dry and obscure, like small fragments of charcoal. But if polished with care, they can shine like diamonds." He paused to see if Alistair was following his reasoning. "Just give them a chance."

Alistair waited until Duncan finished his speech to gently lower Noah on the left bedroll. When he finished, there was resolution boiling in his eyes.

"Confess," Alistair said, smiling, "You have a manual that teaches how to speak in code, don't you?"

Duncan laughed. "Ah, Alistair…" He nodded. "Your sense of humor is really unique. I just haven't figured out yet if this is a good or a bad thing."

Alistair replied with a grin as they walked out of the tent. However, a faint moan stopped him before he left.

Kallian was restless, thrashing and clutching the sheets tightly. Thick drops of sweat began to appear on her furrowed brow and her jaw was so clenched that it seemed like it would break. He watched her carefully and turned back to Duncan.

"She'll be okay?" Alistair asked, fighting the urge to wake her.

"It's just the effects of the Joining," Duncan replied, leaving the tent.

"But ... she seems to be suffering so much," Alistair said giving a last look at her. From the corner of his eye he saw that Noah was becoming agitated, too.

"It will pass, Alistair," Duncan said, already outside.

Alistair stared at the floor for a moment and shook his head before leaving the tent.

* * *

Kallian was dizzy, slightly nauseous. She rubbed her eyes to get a better look around and realized that she was sitting on a rock, on top of a familiar hill, under the same sunset she always saw in her nightmares.

Breathing became almost impossible when she realized where she was.

_Fade._

As the years went by, Kallian learned that if she could not remember how she arrived where she was, it meant that something was wrong. _Very wrong._

She looked around scared, panic spreading through her body. Her first reaction was to grab her daggers, but as usual, they were not there. The Leather armor was replaced by a light, knee-length white dress. Her body - No scars her shoulders exposed and clean - It was the same way it was when they first met.

It was a small ritual - among many - that the lion had: to mark her again every time they met. Keeping the memory alive.

And for Kallian it was worse each passing day.

Her heart was slowly calming down as she realized that she was alone, even knowing that it would not take long for that reality change.

However, each moment of peace, no matter if it's short or not, it was a blessing.

She sat on the stone again and tried to remember the previous events, breathing deeply several times. Flashes of her Joining arose in her mind. The process was unpleasant, and for a moment, she had thought she would die. It was so painful. But hopefully it would not take too long for her to wake up.

Then, as if to contradict her expectations, the first explosion came from the direction of Denerim. Kallian covered her eyes to protect herself against the dust, but before she could compose herself, another one went off, and brought a strong breeze in her direction.

It did not take more than a few seconds before there was a third explosion. This one was closer, and so strong that the impact hurled her against a pine tree.

The little elf groaned when an involuntary cough send spasms of pain through her stomach. One of her ribs was broken. She rolled over to the side, lay on her back and hugged her abdomen, her eyes closed tightly.

"Oh, that looks bad," said a hoarse voice that breathed on her face.

Kallian froze. She did not need to open your eyes to know who it was.

"Be… gone," she said between gasps, still recovering from the impact.

"You could be more receptive, at least for once." Kallian could smell sulfur mixed with copper and anchovies on his breath as he spoke. "We've been friends for so long."

"We are not friends," she snapped, opening her eyes slowly. The first thing she saw was his scarlet eyes fixed on hers, a few inches from her face. "I will not deal with a demon."

The lion smiled, "Yet." he said, backing away slowly and sitting with his back to the hill. The wind still blew strong, and the balance of his black mane gave him an air of omnipotence. He wagged his tail slowly around his body in a provocative, almost smug way, which completed his expression of pleasure.

"Go away." Kallian repeated weakly but firmly, forcing herself to sit up.

"I'd rather stay," The lion replied and smiled again. "The chaotic environment of a desperate mind is fascinating," he said looking back, as a fourth explosion was rocked the foot of the hill, not far from them.

"Can you feel it? The smell of fear. All the despair, the anguish almost palpable as it touches your heels and spreads like a contagious disease throughout the body." He continued showing his teeth, purely happy. "It's fascinating, totally fascinating. Don't you think?"

Kallian didn't answered. She understood and could actually _feel_ what he was talking about, but _fascinating_ was not exactly the first word that came to her mind to describe the feeling. Actually, it was not even the _last._

"I came to offer you something new today," he continued. "And before you say that you don't care, I suggest you listen to me first."

"_I don't care_." She stood up, staring at the sunset. The light was her escape point, the source of her strength and sanity. While there was light, she had the strength to not let the fear take over her mind.

Once in darkness, only the Maker - if he exists - knew what really happened. And she did not want to think about it.

"I presume you're homesick," he said standing as well, circling her slowly. Seeing how her expression became slightly shaken, a smile of satisfaction came over his face. "Perhaps I can offer you the release of your duty." Watching her internal struggle was sometimes more pleasurable than seeing those poor mages accept his offers. "Think about it: Tomorrow you can be back to your home, in the arms of your father, pretending that you are not to blame for causing such chaos to those you love most." He paused, for long enough to make sure she followed his reasoning. "Because you know it's _your_ fault, don't you? All the confusion in the Alienage until now was generated by acts arising from _your_ negative influence. Because of course, none of those cowards would be bold enough to act as they did if they were not influenced by someone else. The things would be so different without you around, don't you think? "

"But I gave you a second chance," he continued, his voice overlapping the sound of a fifth explosion. "I am a spirit with a charitable soul. Like a good father who offers a helping hand to troubled child, knowing that the next day he would repeat the same mistake, but who nonetheless believes in his son's ability to change." He stopped walking and sat down, his eyes on the same level as hers. "You spit in my hand, Kallian. You made a fool of me." He put his paw heavily on her right shoulder, marking and burning the same way he always did, forcing her to her knees. Her scream echoed through the trees. "But anyway, here I am believing in my little rebellious daughter and offering a third chance." He dropped his paw, licking the blood from his claws. "A fresh start. Oblivion I may offer, if you're nice enough. The blessing of ignorance can be yours for the same price as always."

Kallian looked at the sun, which quickly disappeared below the horizon. As much as she wanted to forget, no matter how tempting the offer to erase all the bad things that had happened in her life and start over was, she would not solve her problems that way.

She would be fooling herself, living a dirty and fake illusion.

The sound of the sixth explosion gave her an idea. She got up quickly and began to run as fast as she could, throwing herself down the hill towards Denerim. With luck, the thud of one of these explosions would be enough to wake her.

After much stumbling, falling and rolling, she reached the city gates while the place was quickly covered in darkness.

The lion just watched while she ran. It was with much regret that he began to fade as he saw the black sky turning red.

Kallian kept running without looking at anything until she reached the market. She only noticed that the place had brutally changed when her tired legs made her stumble and fall to the ground.

The city was on fire. There were darkspawn everywhere, destroying and looting. This was no longer Denerim, but some smaller village that she did not know.

She stood up, realizing she no longer wore a white dress, but the Leather that Duncan had arranged for her. She also noticed that her daggers were in her hands in time to block the sword of one of darkspawn before he could cut her stomach.

"What the ..." She was interrupted by the exploding fireball of an Emissary, just some meters from her feet. She flew against one of the houses. Her ribs that had been anesthetized by adrenaline, groaned in protest, burning like they were inside of one of the houses on fire. She lay on her back just as she had done before and looked around.

The panic was widespread. Farmers and soldiers were lost in the middle of the black army, elves and humans fighting for their lives as equals.

Between the sound of metal clashing, arrows being thrown and bodies falling, she saw a soldier who looked slightly familiar fighting near where she was. She could see the unshaven man with an unkempt brown hair, covered with dirt and blood swinging wildly while he wielded his giant sword against a Vanguard.

Even upside down she could recognized that vandalized armor anywhere.

"Noah ...?" She whispered, squinting to try to see better. Despite the distance, he seemed to hear her and turned his head toward her, his brown eyes fixed on hers.

Before he could open his mouth to say something, a loud roar split the air, leaving them nearly deaf. The source of the sound, a huge black dragon landed between them. His tail missed Noah by a few inches.

She quickly got back on her feet.

His red eyes looked deeply into Kallian's soul, almost as if he could read her thoughts. She had never seen such gross cruelty in the eyes of a living being before, not even in the demon that haunted her. She wanted to look in Noah's direction, to see if he was okay, but she found herself unable to move.

The dragon, meanwhile, took a deep breath, dropped his long neck back and let out another fierce roar. But all she heard was a loud static, thin and shrill that directly echoed inside her head. She closed her eyes tightly, covering her ears with her hands, but it was useless - it was too strong.

As suddenly as the dragon came, the sound stopped. She opened her eyes, startled, staring at the dragon. The static had turned into a mesmerizing melody, blocking all of her senses.

She had no more control over her own body.

The music began to form words inside her mind, words she was gradually understanding.

"I'm watching you, Warden." She felt his words through the music. "You will fall!"

He opened his mouth again and the deafening static was back. Kallian fell to her knees with her hands pressed against her ears, resting her elbows on the ground. Her head felt like it would explode.

The dragon, satisfied with his work, took flight. A huge cloud of dust made Kallian topple sideways and she fell on her back. The sound started to fade slowly, but her head was still hurting.

She looked up to where Noah was and found him lying, hugging his stomach with one hand and holding his forehead with the other. His hand fell lifeless to the side before he could say anything.

Soon, her own consciousness was weakening and before her vision darkened completely, she saw the dragon spitting a green fire on the plantations.

* * *

**Noah**

_Holy Shit!_

What the hell was _that_?

I was shaking like a child who saw a ghost under the bed. And covered in sweat like one.

I never had a ... _Dream_ ... So strange in my entire life. First, the village being massacred by darkspawn. It seemed to be Highever outskirts at first, but I saw no familiar faces. No, it was not possible. It could not be. Highever stood in the far north of Ferelden and technically the horde were invading from the south ...

I shook my head. I could not think about it. Not now.

The elf moaned at my side. We were in a large tent, divided by a thick piece of cloth that blocked my vision of the neighboring bedroll, but I recognized her voice. Apparently things were not easy for her either.

I looked at my hands, which trembled with less intensity now.

I'd been woken up a few minutes ago by my own screaming, if that is even possible. That stupid dragon destabilized me - with his cruel eyes and that stupid song that entered my mind and took control of my body. I thought I was going to explode from the inside out.

Not to mention the impression that I had seen -

"Ahh!" The elf screamed. By the movement of the cloth and the sound of her rapid and mismatching breathing she was probably awake.

She quickly began to whisper amid dry coughs and choking. Except for the word 'Real', I could not understand any other word.

I called to her, "Elf?"

She gasped and in a broken voice, said "Noah?"

Maker, she seemed to be really bad.

"You survived," I said, lying down again. "I did not expect that."

"I hope ... you have lost a lot of money with that dammed bet," she said weakly, trying to regain her breathing.

"It only ends when it _ends_. I still have a chance." I returned the provocation. She snorted in response.

I waited until she calmed her breathing to break the silence, "Are you okay?"

There was a long pause before she answered, "I will be. You?"

"Same here," I replied, staring at the ceiling of the tent, feeling something clicking in my brain.

I was a Grey Warden now.

I do not know how long I slept, but it must be late at night. For the light that entered the tent, the fire was still burning, but there were only a few shadows walking out there. Probably in a few hours, I'd be on the field, fighting against Blight, with an overconfident King, half a dozen Wardens and an old war hero - Cailan's right arm, who seemed to be unable to bring him to reason. If our army were not so great, I'd say we'd be screwed.

I put my hands behind my head, somewhat at ease with the whole situation.

Anyways, everything was now in the hands of Maker.

"Noah?" she called. Her voice was almost normal.

"Hm?" I made a sound with my throat for her to continue.

"You..." Her voice died before she finished.

"I...?"

"I had the impression that you were..." She paused again. "Never mind." I heard her body falling against the bedroll.

I grumbled, growling low against the pillow.

"We will have to share the tent?" She asked after a while, her voice clearly afraid.

I thought for a moment before answering, "Apparently yes."

I saw her get up and slowly walk to entrance of the tent. It took a while, but I understood what she was thinking about.

"Go back to the bed, elf," I said firmly. "I will not lay a finger on you. I'm not that kind of guy."

She turned to look at me, disbelief written all over her face, "How do I know if you're telling me the truth?"

"You don't" I replied, staring back at her.

"So how do you expect me to believe in you?" She crossed her arms.

"I don't_."_

"You're not making much sense" She raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not even trying." Her petulance was fun and annoying. While I like people who look me in the eye without wavering, and who aren't afraid to argue with me, I lose my temper too easily with stubborn people. But, for now it was fun.

"And what exactly are you trying to do?"

"Sleep," I said triumphantly, smiling like a child when I saw her frowning. "And you should lay your _elven ass_ somewhere – Here in the warmth and safety of the tent or out there exposed to the _bad_ soldiers, whatever - and try to do the same." I said, turning my back to her.

The elf snorted, "_I hate you._"

I laughed, "_I know._"

Defeated, she returned to her bedroll without saying anything. If she slept there or just got her stuff, I didn't know. The fatigue hit me suddenly, and before I realized it, I was asleep.

* * *

_Please, leave a review. It's very hard to know if you're liking if you don't talk to me. I would love to hear your opnion. :)_


	8. Breakdown

_**A/N: **Okay, today is not monday ( Oh, really?)_

_I got some problems yesterday and I couldn't post the chapter. It happens some times :(_

_A big chapter today thanks to wintryone, who helped me to put some things in their right places. In the end, I believe those 400 squares paid out, don't you agree? LOL This one is for you ;)_

_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Artwork: **goo. gl / ABxU7 (without the spaces)_

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

_**EDIT 04-12-2012:** Artwork's link is working now :)  
_

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Breakdown

.

Kallian leaned against a tree, starting to feel tired.

Training definitely was not her best idea.

After the nightmare, she couldn't sleep again, as always. She quietly left the tent after realizing that the night was lost. She took her bag, leaving a sleeping Noah behind and doing her best to avoid being seen by other Wardens. She headed toward the same place that she'd went when she needed to be alone, just after they arrived at Ostagar.

Logically she avoided the area of the grounded wells.

Moonlight covered the place intensely, creating more light than the torches and bonfires around the tents. The gray rocks seemed like shiny crystals that grew strong and powerful from the dark ground up towards the endless dark-sapphire mantle and made the leaves look like polished silver. The full moon was mesmerizing, especially in the clear sky, dotted with stars that seemed brighter than ever tonight.

Kallian placed the lantern she'd borrowed on a rock and sat on the ground and began to draw to pass the time. Several images came to her mind: places she had seen - the ruined tower, Ostagar, the beautiful view in front of her - people she knew - The soldier who brought her out of the hole, The Keeper and her apprentice. Even the little Mabari.

But obviously her mind did not want to cooperate, and when the memories started to blind the tip of her coal, she decided that her mind needed a different occupation.

The only time her mind was truly empty was when she wielded her daggers. All that mattered was her beating heart and her breathing. No demons, no memories, no problems. Only the moment mattered – action and reaction. There was no room for thoughts or concerns.

When her leg began to throb, she decided to pack her things, defeated. It wasn't smart to spend all her energy hours before a major battle, much less get an injury because of an imprudence.

Kallian breathed deeply and closed her eyes. Her hand came to rest on her marked shoulder without conscious thought.

According to scouters, the horde was supposed to reach Ostagar by the early hours of morning. There was less than two hours until the dawn, but still it was a considerable time for a troubled mind like hers to wait.

Then a faint Mabari bark caught her attention, giving her an idea.

Probably the Kennel Master was asleep, but that did not mean she could not go visit the little dog.

She put her backpack on her back and went to the kennel slowly, looking around. Only a few people were awake - some training, others sitting around the fire silently, staring at nothing. The anxiety was palpable, like a dense mist over everyone's heads.

When Kallian reached the kennel, she found a soldier leaning against the fence, drawing circles on the ground with his toe, apparently lost in his thoughts, staring at the dogs. There was a sword similar to Noah's resting on his back. After studying him calmly and confirming his identity, she approached him slowly, careful not to alarm him.

"Carver?" She asked leaning against the fence, several feet away from him. He looked in her direction, so lost that it took a good few seconds for him to recognize her face.

"Oh, it's you," Carver lifted his head. His sunken, tired eyes analyzed the little elf carefully. "Kallian."

"You don't look well," she said, staring back. Carver held eye contact for a bit, but he couldn't hold it for much longer.

"Definitely not. You're making me lose a lot of money." He grunted moodily, holding the fence tightly.

Kallian stifled muffled laughter, "am I?" She asked, opening the door and entering the enclosure of the white Mabari. Her first reaction was to think Carver was joking, but after looking at him for a second time, she realized that something was wrong. Beyond angry, he was tense - he seemed to be looking for something or someone that was there but she could not see. That sparked her intuition, making her smile disappear.

"Indirectly, acting like the poor girl while…tsk." He snorted angrily.

"Let me see if I understand correctly: You're saying that you would rather that I had died at my Joining? That's It?" She asked, indignation impregnating her voice.

"Yes," Carver replied without hesitation, which only increased her anger. _Humans. In the end, all of them show their claws_, she thought, shaking her head.

"Well, I'm sorry if I survived," she said sarcastically, and walked to stand on the other side of the fence.. "But it's your fault for underestimating the elves, _human_." Kallian turned to face him, holding the fence about a few centimeters from where his hands were. She positioned herself in a way that, even with his head lowered, he was able to look her in the eye. It bothered him a lot but he was not able to divert his gaze.

"I'll be here, whether you like it or not. I refuse to fall until my goal is met. And if you do not like me, get in the queue. You're not the first, nor will you be the last. "

Carver said nothing, only snorted, considering the weight of her words. He finally understood _who_ he was talking to, and the anger quickly gave way to guilt.

_His sister was messing in his life again._

The white mabari followed the short discussion with his eyes. When Kallian sat beside him, he looked up excitedly, pushing her hand with his nose to ask for some affection. The little elf smiled widely and patted his neck affectionately, rubbing his nose in it.

"Hey boy, how do you feel?" She asked, holding his face with both hands. He gave a muffled bark and wagged his tail, her big violet eyes staring intently, as if to make sure that the message had been transmitted. "I think that's a yes."

"It looks like he really likes you." Carver said, getting off the fence and crossing his arms.

She cleared her throat, "Animals have this advantage: They are not disguised as humans," she said angrily, stroking the back of the mabari's ear. He closed his eyes, leaning into the caress to feel it better. Kallian had the impression that, if she took her hand off, he would topple over.

Carver scratched his head uncomfortably. Really, to wish the death of another person by pure selfishness was not like him. And again, he spoke without thinking.

"Look ... Do not take it personally," he began, staring at the ground.

"Oh, really?" She rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious, I did not mean ..." He put his hand on his forehead. "I'm in a bad mood, that's all."

_A bad mood does not justify that you act like an asshole_, Kallian thought, but said nothing. She remembered how Noah - despite his annoying bipolarity - had his outbreaks of kindness, then she decided to give him a chance, although she did not like this situation very well.

"You're not the only one going through bad times," she said, stroking the Mabari's head. The dog stared at her with the questioning look, as if he was waiting for something. She frowned, not understanding very well. He was waiting for permission? For what?

Carver's voice interrupted her thoughts, "I know. I just ..."

"You fought with you sister again?" Kallian asked.

"Yeah," he admitted defeat. Suddenly, it was like he was ten years older, "I cannot stand it anymore."

Kallian turned back to the Mabari, who regarded her the same way as before, still sitting like a statue.

"What do you want?" She asked.

"For a start, that she was not so arrogant, smug, meddlesome and -"

"No, not you. The Dog," she said, pointing to the small one with her head.

"Ah ..." Carver said scratching his head, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks. He cleared his throat to try to dispel his embarrassment and compose himself. Kallian thought that his reaction was somewhat entertaining, although she did not smiled. She was still too upset to let down her guard.

"This is a characteristic of imprinting," he continued, the color of his cheeks returning to normal. "He wants to know if you accept it."

"The Kennel did not tell me that." She said confused.

"The mabaris are intelligent creatures. Some have stronger personalities than others," Carver said, shaking his head. "You see, while your pet wants your approval to remain by your side, my sister's mabari simply followed us until our mother just got tired of shooing it, "he remembered with a smile.

"But ... He belongs to the royal army. I can't just steal him," she said, looking at the Mabari.

"I do not think they have any choice," Carver said, "he'll find a way to escape and sooner or later he'll find you."

Kallian looked at the small dog, who stared expectantly, holding his breath.

At that time, all doubts whether or not she should stay with him disappeared as if by magic. No way she could say no to those big pleading eyes.

"It will be an honor to have you by my side," she said as she held his cheeks.

The Mabari happily barked twice before giving a long lick on her face. Kallian chuckled in response.

"I think now it's official," Carver said, smiling.

The Mabari was beaming, although the brightness of his eyes were giving way to tiredness. He was noticeably better, but still needed to rest.

"Hey," Carver called after a while, tenser than before.

Kallian made a sound with her throat encouraging him as her attention turned back to the Mabari.

"Err…" He hesitated. "Can I go in?"

"As long as you stop making me want to strangle you…" She answered, partly joking, partly serious. Carver took the hint as a warning – he should be cautious or he would make things with her even worse.

Kallian watched him while he approached them and sat next to her. The dog looked at him, then at her, unsure of what he should do.

Carver reached for the mabari, who wagged his tail in response.

"He is a strong boy, for sure," he said, rubbing the mabari's head.

"So, boy," Kallian said, in a more relaxed tone. "This man told me a lot of shit. What I should do with him?"

The dog stared at him for a while, and then bit his hand.

"Ouch, Ouch, _Ouch!_" Carver said, trying to free his hand. The dog wasn't serious about the bite, but he didn't wish to let the soldier get off so easily.

Kallian laughed so hard that she had to wipe the tears from her eyes.

"I can't bite him boy! I guess I will leave that for you!" She said, smiling widely, surprised by the dog's reaction. The mabari let him go, barking happily.

Carver couldn't help but smile, too.

_She has a beautiful smile, _he thought, looking directly into her eyes. He'd never paid attention to her this closely. Behind the wayward warden, he found a glimpse of the woman behind the scowls, and he was finding it pretty amazing. And it was enough to make the tension disappear - he felt a sudden urge to make the things right with her. His courage was back to his veins.

Kallian noticed his strange change of attitude and became serious again, startled by the new light that burned in his eyes. Unconsciously, she rested her hands closer to her daggers.

"Sorry," he told her, "For what I said. I wasn't thinking straight, and l let my personal problems..." He hesitated, giving her an honest smile. "What I'm trying to say is… I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry." For a minute Kallian thought he was looking at her in a new way.* Was he analyzing her? No, it was different. He wasn't wavering – he meant it. So, why couldn't she ease her senses?

"You're frowning again," He said, laying his finger on her forehead, forcing her to relax her brows. "Believe me, you're much prettier when you're not frowning." He slid his finger to the tip of her nose before he lowered his hand back to his lap.

Kallian felt her cheeks burning, forgetting about her weapons for a while She would never have expected _that_. Did he just said that she was… _beautiful_?

She opened her mouth but then closed it. How should she answer him?

If it was any other person, she would cut his hand off, without even thinking about it. But she was caught by surprise by his honesty. And then…

He was not the first guy that flirted with her. Back in the Alienage, when she was younger, there was a guy or two interested on her. But, just like before, she couldn't allow herself to think about these matters.

It's not like he wasn't attractive. Quite the opposite, actually. His smile was really cute, and his blue eyes were so tender that it was almost impossible to look away. However, he was a _human._ She knew how the human's mind works – how tricky and disgusting they could be – and she promised herself that she would never let a human _lay a finger on her anymore_.

"Carver, I-" Kallian began, but was interrupted by the loud sound of a trumpet, from the direction of the walls. Both looked at each other scared.

"What was that?" She stood, getting out of the enclosure, and looking around. Soon, people began to mobilize, leaving their tents and brandishing their weapons as they ran in different directions.

"It was the alarm of the scouters," Carver said seriously, pulling his shoulders nervously. His sword began to weigh twice what it should, "We're under attack."

"Kallian!" Alistair called, running to meet them, with a disheveled Noah right behind him. The Cousland looked more tired than he was when they spoke in their tent, a few hours ago. "The Horde arrived ahead of schedule. The King wants to see us immediately," Alistair said as they approached.

She nodded and started to run when Carver called her back.

"Hey," he said blushing, looking at the ground, "Good luck."

"You too," she replied with a smile, watching Carver nod and run towards the other soldiers.

"Your boyfriend, elf?" Noah asked, raising an eyebrow. "I didn't know you liked little boys like him."

"Oh, shut up," she replied, rolling her eyes and turning to Alistair, "Show us the way, please."

* * *

The leaders had set up a hasty meeting.

The young Wardens found Cailan, Loghain - the war hero and the king's right arm - and Duncan gathered around a table, discussing defense tactics with bland expressions on their faces. Apparently they were not expecting this little twist.

Their number was much more significant than they previously thought, and for what they could hear, the horde was advancing rapidly.

Alistair and Noah made a brief bow as they approached. Kallian remained still, expressionless, to which Duncan obviously disapproved. The Warden-Commander scolded her silently, but she just frowned in response. _Maker's breath,_ Duncan thought, ruffling his hair slightly, _This girl is going to be beheaded even before the battle begins_ ...

Cailan, however, did not seem to notice.

"We cannot just put all of our men on the front line and hope for the best," Loghain said.

"Agreed," Duncan said, studying the map of Ostagar. "We need a plan."

"What are our options?" Cailan asked with a frown, his eyes fixed on the map.

"Two waves of troops," Loghain suggested "One to give us time, the other as the element of surprise." The general suppressed a smile when he saw the seed germinating in the mind of the king.

"Yes .." Cailan said, "Yes!" He put a finger on the map, "Some of the troops will be here, waiting for the signal to attack while the other will be at the gates, buying time for us."

"It might work," Duncan said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Can I count on you to lead the major troops, my friend?" Cailan said, turning to Loghain.

"It will be an honor, your majesty," Loghain made a slight bow, putting his fist in his hand on his chest as a sign of respect.

"As for the sign," Cailan turned to the Wardens. "I think your new recruits are more than capable enough to light the beacon on the top of tower, right Duncan?"

"Yes, your majesty," Duncan said, looking at the three.

"What!" Alistair exclaimed indignantly "We will not fight with you?"

"Giving the sign is part of the battle. It's not only an important task, but it was a request of the king, and you will do it." Duncan said sharply.

"But ... Three Wardens to light a torch? Don't you think that it's a waste?"

"I agree with him," Noah stated, "You are underestimating our ability."

"Just do what you were asked." Duncan cut. "I know you are eager to do something, but believe me, will have an opportunity for that later. For now, just focus on what has to be done. You can join us later."

Alistair growled angrily in response.

"We will give you the sign from the battlefield, Alistair," Duncan continued, ignoring his protests. "You know what to do, now go!"

"Right…" he replied grimly, "May the Maker watch over you."

"May he watch over us all." He put both hands on Alistair's shoulders firmly, looking at him with affection, giving a slight shake. He did not need to say anything more for the Templar understand what that meant - Duncan was counting on him, and he would not disappoint him.

Alistair nodded, and was invaded by a sudden feeling of determination. He broke the exchange of glances and took a step back, determined to finish the job. "I will not let you down."

"I know you won't," Duncan said, smiling. He gave a slight slap to Noah's back as he passed.

Kallian stared for a while before she followed them.

"Kallian," Duncan called, seriously. She suddenly stopped and turned to him. "A last piece of advice, if you wish."

"Go ahead," She answered, crossing her hands.

"I know that you all want to throw yourselves in the front line and make it happen," Duncan began, approaching her. "And don't misunderstand me, I _know_ you can. All of you." He stopped right in front of her. "However, I have not recruited you to be heroes."

"I thought we were without time to—"

"_Be quiet and listen_," He cut her sharply, in a commanding tone that made her listen. "Heroes are people who stand when no one else can and do what need to be done. You are the Scrapper – a hero for your people. And Noah, well, he is the Champion of Highever." Kallian looked at Noah, her eyes widening. She knew that few people that received the title of Champion. He was not a normal person, then. But she hadn't thought much about it, but Duncan continued to talk. " It's nothing you haven't heard before. You both know more than anyone, perhaps even more than Loghain, what I'm talking about. If you chose that path, both of you will go down in history."

"However, I didn't recruited you both to be heroes. I want you to be _legends._ Do you know the difference?"

"No and we don't have time to find out, do we?" Kallian said, impatiently. Duncan frowned, and she gave up. "Fine, fine, aren't they the same thing?"

"In theory, maybe. A legend _is_ a hero, but with a little difference: He leaves his mark in the heart of people, as well. And you know why?" Duncan asked, glad for caught the attention of the little elf. "Because it isn't greatness in only one moment of glory. A true legend is great in _everything he does, because he puts his heart in it_. Even in small things like lit a beacon."

"This was supposed to make me feel better about being discarded from the main battle?"

"No, this was supposed to be an advice, just like I've said. You played many holes in your life, I suppose. And, in the end you don't need to be any of them. The others expect you to be just another elf, _the elf everyone is betting against_. Your acquaintances expect you to be their saviors, the _Scrapper_ who fights against the injustices. Your friends expect you to be great, just like _Adaia's daughter_ was supposed to be." Duncan sighed heavily, pausing before continueing." And you expect yourself to be stronger, to fulfill everything the world expects of you."

Kallian opened her mouth to protest, but she didn't say anything. This human was hitting the spot - poking the wound with a knife. But it was not entirely true. She _needed _to be strong, not because there's someone expecting that for her, but to keep control over herself – control over her own body, over her curse.

Duncan, seeing that she lowered her guard, put a hand over her head. And Kallian, reacted differently from their first contact, didn't flinched. She accepted his gesture, craving his next words deeply in her mind.

"I'm not expecting you to be more than _you_. The girl I've been seeing those last weeks made me doubt about my decision, but I know that the woman inside the mask can change her fate. _I believe in you_. And I know you will make me proud someday."

"Duncan…" Kallian whispered, more than herself than to anyone.

"Go," Duncan said, returning to Cailan and the others.

Alistair took a step forward, motioning for the others to follow him. The tower was on the other side of Ostagar, so if they wanted to arrive on time, they needed to hurry.

"Wait," Alistair stopped as soon as they left the meeting place. "This is yours," he said, taking two necklaces out of his backpack. Each one had a pendant - a flask with a small amount of red liquid inside.

"It's the _worse time ever_ to care about souvenirs, don't you think?" Noah said, frowning.

"This is the blood used in your Joining," he said, starting to run again. "It's a kind of tradition, to remind us of what happened and of those who fell."

Noah looked at the necklace in his hand, the blood stirring inside the vial. He took a deep breath, trying to stop all the bad memories that were trying to take control of his mind.

Eleanor, Bryce, Fergus, Oriana… Even the little Oren, his beloved nephew… Their dead faces were fighting their way in so hard that was almost impossible to think of anything else.

Noah just put the necklace in his pocket, since there was nothing else he could do.

The memories also came back to Kallian's mind.

Jory, Daveth, Mahariel ... Where was she? Had she found her clan or had the taint claimed her body already?

She also tried to clear her mind in order to prevent her thoughts from taking her to places inappropriate for the occasion –like her home.

By luck or sheer coincidence, Alistair broke the silence and distracted them from their reflections.

"You know, Cailan can be stupid some times, but he is still the king," he began, looking forward. "Are you sure it was a good idea to be so disrespectful in front of him?"

"_He is not my king_," Kallian said, putting the necklace around her neck. "He never did anything to deserve my respect."

"Well, to me neither, but it's a tradition - you cannot just ignore it." Alistair replied.

"There are other ways to show respect to someone," she said.

"The others do not see it that way ..." Alistair said, looking at her. When Kallian looked back, her expression was full of resignation.

"I will _never_ bow to anyone," she said hoarsely. "Obeisance is not a sign of respect, but of _submission_. You admit that the other person is better than you, that they are your master." She frowned, clenching her teeth tightly, "With so many people fighting for their freedom, it's stupid to put yourself in the position of a slave _voluntarily_."

"Being executed for insubordination is not smart either," Noah said, shaking his head in disapproval.

"I have been punished for insubordination before," she said, staring at him with that challenging, unwavering look that he hated so much. "And I keep thinking the same way. Nobody will make me change my mind."

"I don't know if someone told you that, but your stupid pride will not serve much of anything if you are _dead_." Noah growled angrily.

"You are _noble_. You always had everything easy, no one never forced you to do anything nor be subordinate to anyone. You will never know the value that the spirit of a person has," Her eyes began to burn with memories of her childhood - all the evil they had done with their people – with her. All the terror that grows in a place surrounded by sadists and hypocrites who do not care a shit about anything other than to impose his superiority and cause chaos for fun. When there was nothing left for her, it was in her spirit that she trusted - the only thing that anyone could never steal of her - her dreams, her beliefs, her convictions. _The freedom of her soul._

"No. You will never know the true meaning of it," she concluded, shaking her head.

"I'm afraid not. I've always been unable to comprehend the stupidity of others," Noah replied, rolling his eyes.

While Noah was visibly upset, Alistair had been thoughtful. He was not sure if he was able to understand what she meant - especially by the way they reacted so resentfully, but he knew what it meant to fight against the odds, against the rules, because of what he'd endured in life. He had no idea what they went through to get here- what made them what they are today - but he knew that his own life was not easy and it was difficult to find reasons to remain standing - something to hold onto - when everyone around you expected you to fall.

"You're talking about ..." Alistair said a few octaves lower, unsure whether to get involved in the discussion or not, "The thing that keeps you believing even when all you want is to give up, right?"

"That's one way of putting things, yes," Kallian said surprised, her expression a bit more relaxed. She definitely did not expect that he, who seemed the most accommodating of them, was able to at least come close to understanding what she meant. More than that, she'd never hoped that a _human _could understand.

She stared at him incredulously silent for a moment. He only gave a small, weak smile, shrugging.

"I must have been a good _son of a bitch_ in my past life to make the Maker put so many assholes in my life!" Noah said, slapping his own forehead, slowly sliding his hand down to his chin.

"Man, what's your problem?" Alistair asked, frowning.

Kallian rolled her eyes, "Don't ask ..."

"You. She. The blight ..." He trailed off, reaching a sudden snap in his mind. His brother was patrolling the forest. If they were surrounded by the horde, then that meant...

_What happened to Fergus?_

An image of his brother and all the most tragic outcomes haunted his mind. What if he was really _dead_?

The truth started to slowly hit Noah - he was _alone_. If his suspicions were correct, he would lose the only person he cared about. He had no more family, no friends, no home…

He still had his sister, though. She wasn't in the castle when everything happened, however, it's been so many years since someone had heard about her that Noah was unsure if she was alive. And even if she was, Noah didn't have any idea of where she could be, and even so, there was no guarantee that the horde wouldn't find her first.

He was _alone._

He put his hand on his forehead, his eyes beginning to burn with pain, which spread through his body. Every beat of his heart was as if a knife was digging into his flesh.

"Focus, Noah. _Focus_," he whispered to himself, breathing in large amounts of air trying to calm down. There was no time to fall, there was no time for failures. People depended on him and that was what he had to concentrate on.

"Noah, you okay?" Kallian asked on impulse, watching his internal struggle. She recognized that look, the broken face - she saw herself reflected in his actions.

Noah looked at her deeply, studying her expression. There she was, acting in _that_ way again. Suddenly, everything that happened repeated in his head.

There it was, that impertinent way again. The way she lived, without the fear of exposing her convictions. That willingness to fight against everyone and everything that made her feel invincible.

Yes, he knew very well what it was to have a free and unstoppable mind.

However, unlike her beliefs – that he used to believe - _no one_ is invincible. Everyone can be broken, in one form or another.

Look at him: The youngest son of three. Everything he did had to be perfect, immaculate, and even then, it would always be insufficient compared what Fergus did.

For all the vultures circling his family, he was never strong enough, never smart enough. He was the eternal third of a competition that he had no chance to win.

Even with almost everything against him, Noah became the best warrior in the region - The Champion of Highever - for the pride of his father and even Fergus, who never failed to give him a word of encouragement. He was known for his strength and kindness, and for never standing still in the face of an injustice.

He also thought he could be indomitable - and the fact that the Grey Wardens wanted him in their ranks only confirmed that.

So where was all his conviction now? Years building a life for a single person-a damned traitor – to come and take all the good from his life, leaving only anger.

_Hate. Desire for revenge._

It seemed that there was _nothing_ inside him. And he actually _believed_ that. The rage was so overwhelming and overpowering that he could not act differently.

And because of that, he did not recognize himself anymore.

As if that were not frustrating enough, these two wanting to talk about _spirit _with him - just with him, who lived his own _personal hell_ and remained standing.

As much as something inside him - a small voice – said that keeping the discussion alive was not right –especially because he was the one who provoked it in the first place - it was too late. The anger had already numbed his senses.

"Get out of my business, elf," he replied bluntly, throwing a glare in her direction.

Kallian shook her head, regretting her decision to ask him something. "_Whatever_, then," she said grimly. "Do you even realize that I have a name?"

"Yes," he growled. Of course he knew her name. And the fact that he could _not care_ was one of the things that most bothered him.

"Use it then, at least," she growled back.

"You elves have strange names. I don't have time for that shit," he replied, his voice rougher than before.

Kallian breathed heavily, frowning. She opened her mouth to answer him, but Alistair interrupted her.

"The tower is right there," he cut her off, not knowing another way to end the discussion, "Come on."

* * *

_Next chapter: What if someone from your own team try to kill you? See you next week! ;)_


	9. And then my Pawn Captured your Tower

**A/N: **_I'm going through tough times, and yesterday I was unable to post. Here's the new chapter._

_Leave a review to tell me what you think._

_**.**_

_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Artwork: **__goo. gl /I6hkK (without the spaces or check my profile)._

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

* * *

**Chapter 9**

And then, my Pawn captured your Tower

.

**Kallian**

Have you noticed how everything that was supposed to be easy is normally _never_ that easy?

What was to be a simple task - climb three or four floors of a tower and light a damn beacon - turned into our own personal war. The tower had been taken by darkspawn, information which was given by a circle mage who came to us looking for help.

"Looks like we'll have to fight our way in," Alistair said. _Oh, really_?

Noah snorted, "There's _always _an obstacle! _Always_!" He growled, punching the tree beside him with such brute force that I still don't know how he didn't manage to break his hand. Or the tree. _Or both._

I noticed that the bandages on his hand were turning red with his blood, but I don't think he cared at all.

And since I have a serious problem in keeping my mouth shut, I was already provoking him before my mind could assimilate that he was in no mood for it…

"If I remember correctly, it was you both who complained about the lack of action," I said. Noah took a deep breath, opened and closed his mouth several times, probably swallowing his words. His only reply was a very, _very_ _ugly _look at me, before pulling his sword off his back and throwing himself at the first group of darkspawn that separated us from the tower.

It wasn't a large group of enemies. Actually, just a few Genlocks, guarding the entrance. The fight didn't take long, especially with the mage's help. I did not like the idea of having a mage with me, but what could I do? We had an entire tower to beat and we were just three. No way they would refuse the mage's help, which, by the way, was being quite useful.

However, I kept myself a few steps away from him, just in case.

Since Noah had experienced that turmoil of distinct emotions - sadness, pain and anger – before we reached the tower, he was more unbearable than ever.

Every time our gazes met, he gave me a sharp look, always with a scowl on his face. I always returned it to him in the same degree, which only worsened his mood. Our exchange of barbs had already reached alarming levels, and we both knew that we were nearing the limits of our patience. I got the impression that if I opened my mouth to speak what I was thinking, he would bite my head off. And I was more than certain that I would do the same, If the situation was reversed.

And it was with this heavy atmosphere that our group had invaded the first two floors of the tower.

"Wait," Noah said, before going into one of the large rooms on the third floor.

"Something wrong?" The mage asked. I think that was the first time I heard his voice since he had joined us.

"Barricades over there," He pointed to a huge pile of garbage - broken tables, chairs, bookcases – blocking the passage to the main room. He wasn't talking to me at all, so he didn't even dare to look at me. "Can you see the wheel marks on the floor? There's a ballista somewhere in that room. It's a trap, for sure."

"What will we do then?" Alistair asked, holding his shield defensively toward the door.

"We're going this way," he pointed to the opposite hallway. "We will follow this corridor and break in by the back door."

"I don't think this is wise," I said, lowering myself. I noticed some wet trails on the floor that led to he'd just shown us. I touched one of them with my fingertips and rubbed them, feeling its texture. "There's an emissary in that direction. And if this is oil," I paused, showing my wet fingers to them. "Which I am pretty sure that it is, then it will not as easy as it seems."

"You cannot risk our lives based on some random theory of yours," Noah said, furrowing his brow even more. Someone should create an honorary title just for him: The Mighty Champion of the Frown.

Nah, I didn't think he'd agree with me. I wouldn't if I were him. But he would if he could see his face now. Creepy.

"It's not just a theory_._ _There's an Emissary at the end of this corridor!_" I said with conviction. I could feel its disgusting aura since the moment we had entered the tower.

"How do you know?" The mage asked skeptically, looking down at me.

"I just know." I returned his gaze with the same intensity, angrily. If there was one thing I could not stand is being despised. Especially by a human. The fact that he was a mage didn't help either.

"Are you sure?" Noah asked me again and despite the anger in his voice, I had the impression that he just wanted a confirmation, as if he was consulting me instead of questioning me.

See? Bipolar.

"I am," I answered truthfully. Even if I explained why I had the ability to feel magic, they still wouldn't understand me, much less would my explanation give them the assurance that they sought. Actually it would only make things even worse. I don't know why the lion gave me this power. Actually, I'm not even sure if it was his fault - I just know that this ability, just like all my problems, had started with this curse. But of course, no one wanted to know that the person travelling by their side has a demon inside her mind. No doubt that they would try to kill me, assuming that I would be a freaking abomination. And I would not blame them; I would probably do the same.

Anyway, I was not planning on explaining myself.

I would never explain. Nobody knew about the demon, and if it were up to me, no one would ever know.

"Okay," Noah said, rubbing his hand through his hair nervously.

"You're a rogue, right? Sneak into the ballista's room and report the situation to us. Thereafter, we will see what we can do."

_Oops._

"Err ..." I gasped. There wasn't an easy way to say this.

Yep, now I would give him a good reason to be pissed.

"What's wrong _now_?" He asked, letting the last word ring longer than necessary, illustrating his impatience. He crossed his arms, starting to walk in small circles around his initial position.

"I can't stealth," I blurted out at once, looking away into the barricade's direction. Automatically, my eyes slightly closed, expecting his explosion.

When I realized that instead of shouting, there was a mortal silence reigning, I looked at him. His face was expressionless. I could see the mage throwing his hands up, rolling his eyes. Alistair wanted to say something, but not he or the mage said a word.

Noah blinked three times before opening his mouth.

"Repeat. Repeat it because I think I got it wrong." He said slowly. I think I'd rather he had shouted at me. I mean, I was used to his berserk attacks. I don't think I am able to handle this perplexed and strangely calm version of Noah.

"No stealth," I repeated, short and easy for his easier understanding.

"By the Maker, how can you call yourself a _rogue_ when you don't _know how to enter into fucking stealth_?" he yelled, the muscles in his neck were throbbing dangerously.

I take back what I said about the shouting part.

"I just… can't, okay?" I replied, staring at the ground. This was another aspect of my life that I was not willing to explain. What could I say? That I was totally terrified of darkness because of a demon that haunts my dreams? No, thanks. I could even manage to use a little camouflage, sneak and such. But it was impossible for me to be completely invisible. For the last one to happen, I needed to completely embrace the shadows, and that was something that I just couldn't do. Although my mother always said that I was reckless, impatient and I made a lot of noise, I was getting the hang of it. I got the basics of the practice and I had almost completely perfected the technique. But after she died ... Well, I just gave up.

I just… couldn't do it anymore.

"When this is over, I will request a transfer. Preferably to somewhere far away from Ferelden," Noah said, slapping his own forehead.

"Useless knife-ear," The mage complained, rolling his eyes again. _What a son of a bitch!_

"Oi, Mage," Noah growled, pushing the mage's shoulder menacingly. "Watch your words," he said, puffing his chest and taking a step forward, his fists strongly clenched at his sides, probably to keep himself from punching him.

Is it just me or he had just defend me?

The mage, in turn, flinched, raising his hands defensively between them.

"You're crazy ..." I heard the mage muttering. Whispering, actually, looking away from Noah.

"What's the plan then?" Alistair asked, interrupting the discussion. Normally, by this time, I would have shown him what exactly a _useless knife-ear_ could do. However, I must confess that I was still surprised by the last twist of events.

"You will go first," Noah said.

"And then?" Alistair asked, his eyes fixed on the barricade, analyzing the scenario cautiously, ready to create an attack strategy according to Noah's plan.

"Then we pray to the Maker for the best," Noah said, walking toward the barricade with his sword wielded, pushing Alistair with his other hand.

"Wait, wait! That's it?" Alistair asked, startled. "But ... If it's a trap, I can die as soon as I enter the room… right?"

"Yes, better you than me," he said, pushing Alistair down the aisle.

"What a wonderful plan…" the mage said sarcastically.

"Would you rather go first then, mage?" Noah growled, giving that _'if you open your mouth again I'll break my sword on your head' _look that he did so well. The mage flinched again, apparently pissed, slowing his pace and falling behind the group on purpose.

Hah! Take that, idiot!

In the end, the room was really a trap. The ballista was pointed to the door, which was filled with debris scattered on the ground in front of three huge toppled tables, completely blocking the entrance. We could not pass without breaking the barricade first.

Noah acted fast - he threw his sword against the Ballista, hitting and locking its gear launch.

I wanted to know how he did that. That sword seems to be so heavy...

Alistair defended against the arrows with his shield. At a glance I could see six darkspawn - three Hurlocks, two archers and something trying to fix the ballista. Without much success, I might add.

While Alistair was defending us, the mage started to shoot what seemed like fire spears from his hands against the archers. Noah was kicking the tables, trying to break the barricade while dodging the blows of Hurlocks coming from the other side.

I waited until the moment when the arrow rain would give me a break. Of course, the archers would have to reload at some point. And when I got the chance, I ran, as fast as I could, giving a strong push to one of the tables. I managed to jump over the barricade and the Hurlocks, landing right inside the room.

The distraction was enough for the mage to kill one of the archers, but it turned all eyes to me – the flying elf alone inside the enemies' cage.

One of the Hurlocks came to attack me. I blocked its assault with my dagger, locking its blade with mine. With the other dagger, I'd impaled its head upwards. I grabbed its sword before letting the body fall lifeless.

The boys were still trying to take down the barricade. I took a quick look around the place and saw that the tables that created the barrier were being held by stakes that were strongly fixed into the ground.

"Noah!" I yelled, throwing the sword to him. At the same time, I kicked one of the stakes, destabilizing the barricade.

Noah caught the sword in the air, and with a quick spin of his body, cut off the head of the second Hurlock.

He could be an ogre sometimes, but I have to admit that he is good. _Very good._

He and Alistair gave a strong push and overthrew the barricade at once, opening the way with a loud noise. My little distraction in aiding my teammates almost cost me an arrow in my leg. On _that_ leg.

I jumped just in time to get just a scratch on my tight.

_Lightning does not hit the same spot twice my ass!_

What I was wondering was _why the hell the archer was still alive_. Andraste's ass, we're talking about a fucking mage in a one-to-one duel. Either he was blind or stupid. Or...

I looked at him. He was wearing the most disappointed expression I'd ever seen in all my life. His face was all contorted in disgust, rage and something else. When our gazes met, he broke the contact immediately, confirming my suspects.

He was holding himself on purpose.

Wretched mage!

Noah ran to the ballista, in time to stop the darkspawn from firing it. Alistair turned his attention to the archer, hiding behind his shield until he got close enough to finish it. The last Hurlock alive attempted to attack him, but I stabbed it in the back before he could lay a finger on Alistair.

He gave me bright smile, grateful for the help. I would have smiled back, but my mind was focused on another matter.

With the room cleared and my bloody daggers still in my hands, I start to stride to the other side of the room, to have a little _talk_ with my mage friend.

"_You left me to die!"_ I yelled, shaking my daggers toward his face.

"You were the one who jumped in, knife-ear, don't blame me for your own recklessness," the mage replied, taking a step forward. I did the same, pressing my dagger against his neck.

"You know what I'm talking about!" I said, not feeling intimidated by him. A loud crack of wood breaking made me believe that Noah had to retrieve his sword from the ballista - or what was left of it. The noise alarmed us a little, but it wasn't enough to interrupt our discussion.

"Don't point those at me, knife-ear, or else -!"

"Or what?" I said, pressing the dagger a little more against his skin. I could see a thick red line rolling down his neck. He gasped when he felt the cut getting deeper.

In a heartbeat, his hands lit on fire, burning really fast at his palm. I could feel that energy ball exploding in my face in anticipation. But what I felt was a strong hand gripping my arm and pulling me back, followed by the heat of the flames spreading around me and the loud gasp of the mage.

Alistair had held my arm, pulling me behind him and his shield. He recited something very softly, with an open hand toward the mage. Within seconds, the fire disappeared altogether.

"Don't force me to do this," Alistair said, still with one hand extended to the mage and the other stretched out in front of me, keeping me behind him.

" How dare you drain me, bloody Templar?" The mage said, taking two steps backwards. He wanted to keep his tone of authority, but he was clearly affected by the recent turn of events. I had heard about the Templars – the mighty soldiers of the Chantry, who hunted apostates and drained their power. I would never have imagined that Alistair was one of them. I wondered if this was the power to dispel magic that everyone talks about…

"I didn't drain you. Yet. But I will if you don't calm down," he said firmly, frowning at him.

It was the first time I had seen Alistair frowning, too.

"What is happening here?" Noah asked while approaching us, accommodating his giant sword on his back. He brought the Darkspawn blade tied on his waist.

"Apparently, our friend here decided that to burn us up is more important than defending the tower," Alistair said, letting one of his arms to fall to his side. Despite that he had relaxed a little, I could see the muscles of his arms and neck tightly contracted. His tension was palpable – he was clearly ready to do that trick again if needed.

"Look Mage, if you do not want to do this, get your fucking ass out of our way and leave," Noah said, taking the magician by the collar with one hand and slamming him against the wall. He could feel the floor disappearing beneath his feet.

"By the Maker, It's a fucking _knife-ear_! You, Wardens, will never regain your former glory if you keep accepting that rabble in your ranks!"

"Say that again to my face you bastard son of -" I growled, ready to make him swallow his tongue, literally. Alistair, however, put his hand on my shoulder, stopping me. I looked at him angrily, questioning him, but he just shook his head, seriously.

"You will shut your mouth and do what must be done. And most importantly: You will stop testing my patience," Noah said, his face contorted with rage just inches from him. "If I hear one more peep out of you, if you look at my face again and remind me that you're alive, Maker forgive me, but I will kill you. Do I make myself clear?"

"Don't underestimate me, Warden. You do not know what I'm capable of..."

"No, Mage. _You_ do not know what _I_ am capable of." Noah dropped the mage's collar and quickly replaced his hand with his forearm on his neck.

The mage was gasping and coughing for air, and I could feel him channeling his energy in his hands. Alistair realized that too, and before the waves of electricity got stronger, he began to drain it again- or dispel it, whatever it's called.

"Don't drain him," Noah said, pressing his neck tightly enough to transform his breathing in a painful process.

"If it was not for that Templar, you'd be dead, you bastard," The mage said between coughs, panting heavily.

"Your head would be halfway to the circle before you even raise your hand," Noah growled, forcing his own body slightly forward. The mage gave a little moan of pain, closing his eyes tightly. I had not realized it until now that Noah was wielding the Darkspawn sword with his other hand, pressing it firmly against the mage's stomach.

"What you going to do, kill me?" The mage asked, starting to show desperation in his voice.

"I'll light the beacon," Noah said, dropping the mage. He fell sitting on the floor, rubbing his neck. His robe was slightly stained with blood where the sword was. "And if you want to go home alive, stay out of my way." Noah sheathed the blade back to his waist and turned around, walking up the stairs at the end of the room that lead to the last floor of the tower.

I just watched him. Rather than climb the stairs alone, he went inside a room that I did not know existed, in the opposite of the stairs. I turned my gaze to Alistair, who still held his hand stretched, separating me from the mage. He noticed that I was staring at him and returned to his normal self, stroking his hair with a weak smile.

"Come on, we have to give the signal as soon as possible," Alistair said, pointing up the stairs with his head.

"Okay," I said, giving a last look at the mage, who was lying on the ground, still rubbing his neck. He looked at the ground as soon as our eyes met.

I don't know why they defended me, but I was grateful. Truth be told, I would be dead if Alistair had not interfered. I just didn't know why he risked himself to save me.

Anyway, I made a mental note to thank him later. I'm not a savage after all, neither did I wish to sound ungrateful.

We walked together toward the stairs, leaving the magician behind. If he would flee or meet us later, it did not matter. I still think that we would be better without him.

"Alistair," I called, almost at the foot of the stairs.

"Hmm?" He made a sound in his throat, looking at me from corner of his eye.

"Why you did that?" I asked, stopping in front of him, frowning at him. It was not like Noah's bad frowning; I was just curious.

Surprised by my attitude, he blinked two or three times before answering, "Well, is not smart to provoke a mage," he said scratching his nape.

"Many of the choices I make aren't the smartest ones, but that does not mean that you have the right to interfere," I said, crossing my arms. Oh, great, now I sounded ungrateful. Damn Kallian; you and your big mouth.

"You're welcome," he made a mocking little bow. "You know, for saving your life."

"I had everything under control," It was not entirely a lie. I was, to some extent. Actually I was relieved that he didn't take it personally.

"To me, it seemed like you had a few problems," he said with a half-smile.

"I was not in trouble," Which was not entirely a lie, again. I'd be in trouble _if_ that fireball had hit me.

Well, anyway, he was right.

But would I want to admit it aloud? Even more to a human?

I wouldn't. At least not now that he was mocking me.

He laughed, "Believe me, it was better that way. He wanted to kill you, remember?"

"He wanted to kill Noah, too, but I didn't see you manifesting yourself," I told him, lifting an eyebrow.

"Your friend can take care of himself," he replied.

"Are you implying that I can't take care of myself?" I asked, slightly losing the rest of my good mood.

"You provoked a magician. It's the same thing as putting your hand inside the mouth of a dragon," he said in a playful tone that I only noticed later, well after the blood stopped pulsing in my ears. I was starting to think that he was despising me just like the mage, which make me regret believing in his good intentions. "Believe me, this kind of thing does not give you much credit."

I was about to tell him to put his opinion and his credits in a certain place, but a mabari bark interrupted me.

Twenty mabaris came rushing by us, avoiding the mage - who was walking slowly toward us - and left the hall, following the opposite way we came. Noah appeared after their stampede, with a leash in his hand.

"They will take care of the remaining Darkspawn in the tower," Noah explained, seeing our confusion. "This room was full of them, still caged. Probably the guards didn't have time to free them when the Darkspawn invaded the tower," he said, throwing the leash and a small vial at me. I caught them from the air and looked closely. The leash was dark-blue, made of a very thick leather and carefully stitched with white threads. The dark liquid smelled a bit, but otherwise seemed like an ordinary ink to me.

Before I could open my mouth to ask, he cut me off, "I found them inside one of the lockers. If you're going to have a dog, it's wise to have that equipment."

I looked at the leash in my hand again and I put it inside my bag carefully. Before I opened my mouth to thank him, he gave me his back and climbed the stairs.

* * *

Noah disappeared from their sight, entering the last floor alone. The rest of the group was not far behind, near the middle of the stairs.

As he was the first one to enter, he was also the first to leave.

With a strong bang, Noah was thrown back, slamming hard against Alistair, rolling down the stairs.

"Hey! Are you guys okay?" Kallian shouted, going a few steps down to see them better. Alistair was standing half dazed but apparently well. Noah was lying on the ground, with his hand holding his bloodied forehead.

"I've been better," Noah said between coughs, squirming slightly from the effort.

The mage, in turn, launched a beam of blue energy through his hands toward the warriors. Within seconds, Noah's wounds closed completely, leaving no scar or mark in his skin.

Alistair extended his hand to Noah, who reluctantly accepted the Templar's help. Soon, both were climbing the stairs again.

"What happened?" Kallian asked when they reached her.

"I have no idea," Noah confessed, taking a deep breath. "Something hit me before I could react."

"We have to be careful then," Alistair said.

"_Don't tell me_," Noah said, rolling his eyes. "Go ahead, Alistair."

"You were serious when you said that I was the bait, huh?"

"You're the one carrying the shield," Noah said when we reached the top of the stairs, leaning against the wall. "Use it."

"Okay," he replied apprehensively, wielding the shield with determination and fear.

Noah looked at Alistair and then Kallian. She nodded, confirming that she was ready. Upon entering the room, the first thing they saw was the remains of wooden furniture scattered through the entrance.

"Looks like I got hit by a shelf," Noah said, kicking one of several books that were scattered on the ground.

"But what the hell is _that_?" Kallian asked.

In the middle of the room was a creature of almost four meters high, whose long and strong arms were smeared with blood. He stared at the group, beating his chest and snarling.

"It's an ogre. A stronger kind of darkspawn," Alistair said, shifting his feet, anxiously. "I have never seen one of them that close ..."

"It might be huge, but it's not immortal," Noah said, pulling his two-handed sword off his back. The others did the same with their weapons. The ogre roared ominously, leaning forward and lowering his head.

"_Spread out_! NOW!" Kallian yelled realizing the imminent onslaught of the beast, who crashed hard against the portal.

The group spread around the room, each to a different corner, surrounding the ogre with caution. The mage began to recklessly throw his spells - fire and lightning danced in the air as if it were something natural. At the same time it hurt the ogre, his fireworks also profoundly irritated it. It didn't take long for the beast to turn its attention to the mage, running angrily toward him.

Alistair ran, trying to cut its leg, but as soon as his sword touched its knee, the ogre reacted with a strong punch, hitting the Templar's shield. Kallian and Noah ran as well, but they didn't arrive in time to prevent the mage from being grabbed by the waist and lifted into the air.

Just like she had done earlier, Kallian used the rubble as an lever and jumped high, brandishing her daggers in the back of the ogre. Her blade sank deep into its back, causing it to howl in pain. However, it was not enough to make the beast drop the mage.

Irritated, the ogre threw its own back against the wall, pressing the elf painfully against the jagged and icy rock wall.

Kallian coughed strongly, feeling the air fleeing out of her lungs from the force. For a moment, her vision dimmed and she felt her hands slip from her daggers. However, her near unconsciousness did not last long. A strong wave of electricity struck her, burning the tips of her fingers and spreading throughout her body.

The discharge has spread quickly, whipping every one of her nerves mercilessly. Her hands closed around the dagger's hilt tightly, without her consent. After much effort, she managed to open her eyes and looked around.

The mage had his hands firmly placed on the pulse of the beast. His fingers were flashing with blue sparkles where their skin was touching.

_Mage ... bastard_! She thought as her body began to writhe on its own because of the intensity of the electric discharge. It was not enough to kill a normal person, but was strong enough to bother _a lot._ For Kallian, however, it was like she was embracing the storm itself.

Instead of forcing the ogre to release the mage, as probably was his initial plan, the shock only served to irritate it even more. The beast raised the mage in the air and clenched his fist at once, ending the life of the poor mage with a loud and painful snap, followed by a rain of blood.

The beast then stepped forward, moving away from the wall. Kallian fell on her back, hitting the hard floor loudly. The ogre then threw the lifeless body against Noah, who was just a few steps from them.

With Noah on the floor, the ogre turned around, punching the ground where Kallian was. She stood quickly and ran beneath the ogre's legs before the blow could hit her. Once on its back, she spun around quickly, unsheathing the small dagger from her thigh and digging hard into the back of its knee. The ogre roared, turning to try to hit her again, just as it had done before. She rolled sideways, narrowly avoiding the attack.

Before the ogre could stabilize, Alistair approached from behind and plunged his sword in its other leg, making the beast fall to its knees.

Noah, who was standing again, came to them quickly, striking down ogre's arm, intercepting successfully a punch that would hit Alistair.

Noah positioned himself and plunged his sword into the hand of the beast, impaling it on the floor. In one swift motion, he spun around, drawing the sword from his waist and making a deep cut between its ribs.

Kallian came around, getting next to Alistair. She motioned with her head pointing at her daggers, which were still on the ogre's back.

Understanding the message, Alistair gave a charge, throwing the weight of his body against the other ogre's arm, causing him to fall flat with its face into the ground.

Now, with its back closer to the ground, Kallian jumped onto the ogre again, climbing up until she reached her daggers and withdrew them, going up toward its nape. With a quick and accurate move, she nailed both daggers deep into the protruding veins of his neck, tearing them apart as her angle allowed. The beast slowly agonized, coughing and choking with the blood that was gushing inside its lungs. Noah finished him carving his one-handed sword into the beast's head.

After making sure that the ogre was really dead, the group gathered their weapons back from its body.

Kallian sheathed her daggers and leaned against the wall, sliding to the floor. Without adrenaline, her body began to respond to the damage suffered by the fight.

Her palm of both hands were deeply burned by the electricity, all her bones were aching and her legs had involuntary spasms because of the extreme effort. She could still feel the buzz in her ears.

She took a deep breath, hugging her knees and lowering her head.

Alistair ran to one of the windows and looked outside, searching for the sign. Seeing the fire in one of the towers, he quickly took a torch from the wall and set fire to a pile of straw and furniture near the exit to the balcony.

"The signal was given," Alistair said, satisfied. "Now we can join them into the battle with the others!"

"Let's go, then." Noah suddenly stopped near where Kallian sat. "Elf?"

"Hey, are you okay?" Alistair asked, approaching her. Noah did the same.

"I need a minute," she replied, looking at him.

"Are you hurt?" Alistair asked worriedly. He knelt beside her, putting his shield on the floor.

"I'm just catching my breath," she lied, pulling a lock of hair off her face. Noah grabbed her wrist before she could embrace her knees again, turning the palm of his hand so he could inspect it.

"What happened?" He asked, looking at the burning marks.

She sighed heavily, "The mage used electricity while I was on the ogre's back. If he wasn't so restricted physically, he would have killed me," she said, doing her best to not tremble before them.

She could feel the discharge running through her body as if the mage was still alive, sustaining the magic.

"Here," Alistair said, pulling a potion off his backpack. "Give me your hand."

Kallian looked suspiciously at him for a moment, but reached out as he requested.

He put his hand underneath hers gently, spilling the liquid slowly in her palm. She protested with a grimace, but he did not care and did the same with her other hand.

She also felt his dispelling magic nullifying the remaining traces of magic from her body.

"Drink the rest and you'll feel better." Alistair gave the bottle with half the liquid to her. Kallian drank it without complaint.

Gradually the tremors were calming and the burning sensation in her hands, relieving.

She stared at him, looking deeply into her light-brown eyes for the first time since she had met him. His worrying was being replaced by a curious look, mixed with traces of kindness that surprised her.

Finally she understood that he was just joking when he saved her. Alistair did not despise her, he was just joking, like he always did since they had met.

Alistair raised his eyebrows in surprise, but did not look away. His response was a lopsided smile, simple and sincere.

Kallian frowned, not sure about what she should do. She didn't expect this reaction. Usually a sharp, deep look was enough to drop the mask of the weak-minded people. For her, most people reveal their dirty intentions by simple gestures and expressions. One needed only to know how to identify the signs. But there, in that moment, it was just what it was - a kind gesture without second intentions. Or at least so it seemed.

After watching her reaction, Alistair extended his hand, offering her help to get up. She went to take his hand, but he grabbed her wrist, avoiding her burnings, putting her back on her feet.

"You know," Alistair said, leaning against the wall, with the smile still on his lips. "Since you will not thank me for earlier, you could do it that now. Because of the helping hand to get up."

"Dream on, human." She said on impulse, then repented. After all, he had not given her any reasons for such aggression. _Still_. Anyway, it was not fair.

While she had met several disgusting and despicable humans since she had left Denerim, she also met some nice and polite ones. Despite that she didn't want to admit it, humans could have another side. Deep inside, perhaps.

"Ouch! You are a pretty hard person, you know that?" he asked, feigning hurt. Luckily, he had led in the game, which meant that an apology was not necessary.

Alistair was amused. His new companions were closed people, reluctant to talk, but among them, Kallian was more flexible. At least she answered when he spoke to her. Not to mention that she over-reacted in some situations, which allow him to mock her a bit.

Noah also had overreactions - but not in a healthy way. A joke about his hair wouldn't compensate for the pain of having that giant sword in his stomach.

"Alistair, I'm sorr—" Before she had a chance to finish it, a bang attracted their attention. A huge group of Darkspawn invaded the floor, attacking the group with ferocity.

Arrows flew in all directions. Alistair protected Kallian with his shield and Noah took three of them, two in one leg and one arm.

With the adrenaline pulsing in his veins, Noah pulled the sword from his back, throwing himself against the Hurlock wave coming toward them.

"Noah!" Kallian shouted, leaving Alistair's protection. She didn't think at all - just felt the desperate urge to help him, even though they were outnumbered. Noah killed four Hurlocks alone before the second wave of the arrows hit him. This time, he took one in his shoulder and two in his chest. He brandished his sword one last time, killing two hurlocks before falling.

Alistair and Kallian fought until they could reach Noah. Defending themselves became almost impossible when Alistair got hit by two arrows in his arm. Without his shield, another wave of arrows nailed his chest, piercing the rebar, while an ice spear summoned by an emissary pierced the stomach of the little elf.

_I failed…. I'm sorry, father, mother…_ Noah thought before his vision darkened completely.


	10. After the Storm

_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Artwork: **__I will post this chapter's artwork when I get home ;)_

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

* * *

**Chapter 10**

After the Storm

.

The silence was eerie.

The wind echoed through the rough, icy stone walls of the tower. The floor had been replaced by a thick layer of dark blood, coming from the various Darkspawn bodies around the room.

Kallian was standing idly beside the pile of ashes that served as the beacon hours before. Her daggers were on the floor, a few meters from her feet, near the inert arms of the ogre. They were so stained with blood that it was hard to see them.

She was looking out towards the balcony. The sun was rising on the horizon – blue, pink and golden rays were fighting for their own space in the gray sky. Although the heavy clouds make it looks dense, it was a pretty, peaceful scene. She would stay here, enjoying the view for the rest of day if she could.

"We won?" Noah asked approaching, pushing a bookcase out of his way. Kallian watched the shelves fall to the ground before looking at him. His brown hair was messed up because of the tough fight, falling carelessly over his tired eyes. His expression, however, was serene, as if he was like any other normal person. _Maybe he is just too tired to argue, _Kallian thought.

She was also tired as well. The last few days had not been easy, especially last night. The Joining had been exhausting enough.

The last thing Kallian remembered was that she was fighting in the tower. Thereafter ... Well, there she was.

She was not in Denerim, like she always was when she was in the Fade. There was no sign of the demon, much less of that air that hung heavy and suffocating every time that he was around. However, that didn't mean that she was safe.

And Noah was there, instead. Just like her mother, her brother and her cousins were before him – pretending that everything was alright. She'd know the Lion for long enough to know how tricky he could be.

Blighted demon…

"What is it, elf?" Noah said, snapping his fingers in front of her eyes in an attempt to pull her from her thoughts.

She took two steps back, staring at her daggers from the corner of her eye. Before he could ask her anything, she ran toward the ogre and took the weapons off the floor, holding them defensively against Noah.

"What do you think you're doing? We won," he said, walking toward the balcony and looking down. Ostagar was silent, with small signals of fire burning in several places. There was a dense mist blurring his vision, but he could see a few people dancing and drinking around the pyres. "The army returned to camp. _The Blight is over."_

"I know _who_ you are," she said, taking a half step back, positioning herself better - slightly lowering her back and holding her daggers up near her nose, in an offensive position. "You don't fool me, demon!"

"What's your problem?" He asked, crossing his arms against his chest.

"_You_ are my problem." Kallian, in a sudden burst of courage, advanced against Noah, brandishing her daggers violently. Caught by surprise, his cheek was deeply wounded before he had time to react. Kallian had no time for a second attempt, because he pulled the sword from his belt and used the blunt side to defend himself against her fierce assault

Noah was really surprised. She was fast. _Very fast._

She moved her feet with incredible accuracy, dodging and swaying in her own weird and impressive dance. Moreover, she seemed so _light, _like a feather or a leaf. She didn't seem to have any weight at all, and Noah was starting to wonder if she was boneless as well.

He had been forced to take several steps backwards to avoid her, and even with his affinity with to one-on-one duels, he was suffering a lot of small cuts on his arms. After all, he didn't want to harm her, and if that was the price to bring her back to her sanity, so be it.

She was very talented yes, however, if Kallian had agility, Noah had strength.

Despite the ferocity of her attacks, she was hesitant. Realizing this, he took advantage of a loophole in her defenses to drop his sword and hold the elf's small, still clenched fists, placing the blade of her daggers between his own fingers.

"_Control yourself_!" Noah shouted, increasing the space between her hands to force her to open her arms, so his face could get closer to hers. "It's me!" He said, looking deeply inside her golden, scared eyes.

She tried to struggle, but Noah stood firmly until she stopped resisting and finally looked at him.

After a long moment of silence staring at his light-brown tired eyes, she asked, "You're not the demon?"

"What, no!" He said, confused. "What are you talking about?"

She opened her mouth, but then closed it. This made no sense. He looked exactly like Noah, rage and grumpiness included, yet there was no sign of that evil fire of the demon burning in his eyes.

This was the Fade, for sure, but if he was the real Noah, then what did that mean?

"Can I let you go or you will attack me again?" He asked, looking at their hands. Once Kallian realized his fingers were bleeding, she nodded, dropping the daggers as soon as he loosened his grip. They fell with a muffled crack, spilling blood over their boots.

"Thanks," he said sarcastically, rubbing his fingers. "What was that, anyway?"

"I thought you were something else ..." She replied hesitantly.

"A demon? You must be joking." He crossed his arms. "That would be _impossible_."

"If you have not noticed, we're in the Fade, and yes, it is possible." She took her dagger from the floor and began to clean off the blood using her pants.

Noah stared at her a bit before answering, "Tell me one thing: Did you hit your head or were you born an idiot?"

"I'm serious."

"Me too. We're _not_ in the fade. This is Ostagar and we won_. End_."

"Okay, then tell me how we got here," she said, frowning.

"Walking." He replied, waving his hand to disperse a purple smoke that began to hover near his face.

"By the Void, I'm serious!" She said, scratching her head frantically.

"I came _walking_ up from Highever to Ostagar, I had _walked _to this tower, I climbed those damn stairs _walking_, I fought those damn Darkspawn and ..." He paused, searching for words. He looked at the elf with a blank expression, trying to say something, but the words just didn't come.

She raised her eyebrows, victorious. "_You were right, __**Kallian**__, excuse me for being a fool. I Promise that I'll listen to you next time,_" she said with her best mocking tone.

Noah, in counterpoint, responded with his best scowl.

"Assuming this is the Fade, what are you doing in my dream?" he asked crossly.

"What are _you_ doing in _my_ dream?" She sheathed her daggers. "Unless ..."

"Don't tell me we're dead?" He asked, leaning against the wall, feeling his legs failing. Dead? How had that happened?

"I don't know, maybe," she said staring at the ground. At this point, the purple smoke was stronger, forming a thick layer that almost touched her waist.

Then reality finally bit her heels.

Literally.

Kallian felt the lion's teeth carving deep in her tendons. She desperately tried to tell Noah, trying to warn him, but he was not anywhere to be found.

She felt the ground disappearing beneath her feet, and soon she was falling down, watching the tower fall apart around her.

Kallian's body slammed hard against the cold earth, jarring every bone in her body. When she managed to recover part of her reason, but everything was still spinning. She looked around, still lying on the floor. Ostagar - powerful, cold and gray - the same way it was in the previous afternoon. At her feet, the lion awaited smiling.

"Hello," he said, making a brief bow. "How is your new life as a Warden, _my friend_? Are you having fun?"

"_I'm not your friend_," she replied, closing her eyes. She was so tired of this.

"_One thing happening after another, and I had no time to breathe_. Yeah, I understand little one, and I must insist that we are friends." He walked over and sat next her head, putting his nose to within inches of hers.

She opened her eyes, startled by the sudden breath brushing her face. The demon's eyes shone a blend of red and white that would be something interesting and beautiful if the owner was not who he was. She remained static, feeling his disgusting energy infusing her body.

"Why do you ask? Can you read my mind? You know everything about my life. Besides, you know very well that I will not sell my soul to you, then why the hell do you still insist?" She asked, feeling her voice failing. The tremors did not help much, but she tried to stand firm.

"The hardest battles provides the most enjoyable victories." He gave a long lick on her forehead. "Stop trembling, girl. I'm not going to bite you." He flashed a toothy, sharp and bloodstained grin. "Oops, I just did, didn't I?"

"I don't believe in you."

"You do not need to believe, but you'll thank me." He lifted his head, giving her space to sit. "Today I have come to offer you something special. Something you will need _a lot_."

"I'm not interested." She replied without hesitation.

"We're talking about _oblivion_. It will be very, _very helpful_. For the price that you already know, of course," He raised his head, satisfaction written all over his face.

"Go away!" She repeated, trying futilely to stand, and falling soon after. Her ankle was bleeding - it seemed that the lion's teeth were still in her flesh. She reached for her daggers, but only found the empty sheath on her back.

"Now, now… Have you forgotten how this works?" He stood, positioning himself so he could be eye to eye with the little elf. "My world, my rules."

Kallian sighed deeply, feeling his breath on her neck again. She closed her eyes, waiting for darkness to surround her and for the torture to begin again. But instead, all she received was a cold breeze and a feeling of emptiness in her stomach.

She opened her eyes hesitantly, in time to see the back of the lion walking away.

"What's the game this time?" She asked, surprised. Something was wrong. For the first time, it was the dawn instead of the twilight. There was sun, and no darkness to haunt her. The scenario was not the same. Incidentally, it was the first time she was brought to a different place than Denerim. And, perhaps the most troubling detail of all: Never before he had left her when she told him to do so.

_Never._

"Missing the drama?" He sarcastically asked, returning his gaze to her.

She was silent, not knowing whether it might give a reason for the demon to stay longer.

"I'm trying something different," he said, turning his back to her again. "Ignorance is bliss, as they say. This time, I'd offered you a very interesting benefit, but as always, you dismissed my help. Then, so be it. I'll be in the shadows, waiting. I'll devote my full attention exclusively to you, to think about a new game for us. Actually, I have something in mind. Not just one, but several ideas. "

He paused, taking a long breath. A purple mist began to surround him, forming a small tornado around him.

"And you, go back to your Warden life. No, you are not dead," he answered her thoughts before she could react, and continued before she could open her mouth. "But you will _want_ to be. Anyway, you will collapse. You'll be lost. Maybe you would spend a day or two awake, but in the end, you will lay your head on the hard ground on a cold night and you'll begin to regret not having accepted my blessing.

"You will hear the leaves rustling, breaking the silence of the night, making you see things that do not exist. The shadows will remind you of our small talk. You will be wondering in which one I'll be hiding, thinking of what kind of games I had prepared for us, and then the panic will take hold of your soul. You will not have much to do, except to be consumed by dread, stretching out the wait, until you finally fall asleep and go straight into my arms.

"When the time comes, we'll talk again about my proposal. Meantime, think wisely." He finished with an evil laugh that sent chills throughout her body.

When the Demon disappeared, Kallian threw herself against the ground, lying on her back with her arms opened. The cold burned her skin, but she didn't seem to be feeling anything.

Sometimes, feeling nothing was worse than feeling pain.

* * *

**Noah**

I was alive.

I could not see anything, but I was alive.

I was in the dark. I could hear my breathing, feel the wind touching my feet... I could also smell the blood scent that was permeating the air, almost suffocating me.

I could hear someone moaning, too.

I tried to raise my hands and they responded promptly. That was a good sign, I guess. I could see the silhouette of my fingers, so it was not as dark as I thought.

I ventured to get up and take a look around me. Apparently I was lying on the floor in a corner of a log cabin. By my side, two people were lying partially naked and covered by a thin sheet and bandages.

I also had bandages covering almost my entire body. There was no part of me that wasn't aching.

Man, I never felt so groggy in all my life. Not even when I got drunk at my Champion coronation. I was not just slow-witted - It was as if my mind and body were on completely different frequencies.

My body was moving, but it was taking a long time for my mind to process it.

It took me a while to realize that the red-haired person beside me was the Elf. She was thrashing and moaning, her body completely wet with sweat. Her pale skin was shining in the dim light of the candle, which was lying on a table a few steps from my feet.

She was wearing tight pants, torn off at her knees, and just that. She wore nothing from the waist up, except for the bandages that covered most of her torso. Even for an elf, she was very small, especially without those thick slabs of leather tied here and there.

For the first time her soft curves made me notice she was female. Since we met, all she did was fight and drive me crazy. Who could imagine that, beneath all the leather, metal and that ever-present frown would there be a girl of such delicate features? It was true she had the features of a warrior - strong thighs and sinuous arms - but even so, I could not keep my eyes from lingering on certain details, such as how the light reflected on the smooth skin of her legs or how her breathing was playing with the bandages covering her chest, revealing and hiding the curves of her breasts.

And then I remembered how annoying, stubborn and sassy the owner of that body was, and I suddenly lost my interest.

Something else caught my attention: There were two thick white lines reflecting at the orange glow of the candle – one on her right ear and the other on her shoulder, near her neck.

I had never considered what was underneath those bandages the first day we'd met.

To me, they were just some injuries. Simple bruises, coming from a stupid teenager adventure. But those things were blade marks. What were they? Signs of a fight? Torture? For the first time, I was curious about her story.

Or was it just a headache talking? Who knows?

I decided to wake her. I shook her shoulders until she jumped up, then quickly sat back down.

Even now, I have no words to describe that look.

Fear. Horror. Panic. Dread.

She was terrified, to say the least. She shook like a leaf in the wind and I didn't know what to do.

"Calm down," I said. Incidentally, my mouth said that by itself.

She blinked a few times, whispering "It's not real" repetitively. It was the same thing that happened when we were in that tent in Ostagar. She wasn't seeing me at all.

I reached for her, holding her trembling hand firmly. She tried to get free, but since I didn't loosen my grip, she was forced to look at me.

"Everything will be okay." I said, tracing small circles with my fingers on the back of her hand.

I could see her pale and tired face relaxing slowly, but her hands didn't stop shaking.

She fell back against the makeshift bed, doing her best to cover her eyes. Her hand never left mine.

"It's so dark in here ..." She whispered breathlessly, her voice weak as I'd never seen before. "Make it stop…" Was she serious? She was afraid of the dark? I opened my mouth to ask, but after seeing her state of nerves, I realized that she was.

I drop her hand gently on the sheets and looked toward the light source. With much effort and more pain that I was able to handle, I managed to drag myself to the table. I grabbed the plate with the candle and placed it on the floor, a few inches beside her head.

The elf turned her head to look at me. I could see the surprise on her face.

"Better?" I asked her. She only nodded.

She was silent for a long time before she finally asked, "We're alive?"

She was totally prostrate, but her gaze remained steady.

"I guess so," I replied, lying again. She looked at the ceiling, watching the orange candlelight play with the shadows of the wood. Her breathing was far more controlled, almost normal.

"Mhmmm ..." I heard a muffled groan coming from the other side of where the Elf was. By the dim light, I could see that was the templar.

Apart from his heavy breathing, nothing more was said. She remained silent, staring at the ceiling.

"Go to sleep, Elf," I said turning my back to her, facing the wall of the hut, or cabin or whatever this place is.

"Let me be, Noah, I'm fine." She replied.

"You can't sleep?" I asked her.

She was silent for several minutes, thinking about it. In the end, she sighed and replied softly, "No."

"Don't worry," I replied. "I will be still awake for a while. Moreover, if something gets in here, it will take Alistair first."

I heard her stifling a giggle, but she said nothing.

I waited for long minutes, to see if I would get a response. As the only sound in the room now were the stupid snores of that idiot Templar, I decided to peek over my shoulder.

She was sleeping, facing the candle.

I turned back to the wall, thoughtfully. Poor elf. I had no idea what troubled this girl, and to be honest, until now I didn't care. But for some reason, I felt an impulse of compassion for her at that moment. I'd known her for just a few days, but I didn't think she deserved to be tormented like that. No one deserves to wear such dread on their face that way. Especially someone so small like her.

At that moment, I felt something different. It was something stronger than me, as if a higher power was guiding my actions.

Or, it was just a headache talking. Who knows ...

* * *

_Please, Leave a review ;)_


	11. Facing Reality

_**A/N: **__Hey there, Readers! I know it's not monday (Oh, really? This again?). Yeah, yeah, I know. When I realized that it's 20th already, I thought: "I have to post the next chapter before the World ends! My readers deserves to know what will happen on the next chapter!" _

_Okay, jokes aside, let me be a little serious now._

_I would like to thank you for all the favorites and the amazing reviews! Really, it means the world to me :D_

_And I wish you all a__** Merry Christmas**__! May all your wishes come true :)_

_Also a special hug for wintry, rohh and failusnot! You are with me since the very first step and I don't have words to thank you for the support ;)_

_Enough talk. Enjoy the chapter!_

_**.**_

_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Artwork of chapter 10: **__goo. gl /31nGX_

_**Artwork of chapter 11: **goo. gl /o9BXl_

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

_**EDIT: **Artwork is online!  
_

* * *

**Chapter 11**

Facing Reality

**.**

**Noah**

"This will not help!" Alistair yelled at me, rising from the trunk where he'd been sitting. The wood in the fire creaked loudly, burning inside the flames, but other than that, all I heard was that infernal buzzing that deafened my ears every time the anger rose, preventing me from thinking straight. The flames were dancing intensely, But it seemed it was my body that was burning.

The phrase "Head about to explode" was never so true.

I turned to Alistair still with my fists raised, blood dripping on the ground.

"I can punch your face instead of the trees. Is that what you want?" I raised my right fist toward him, threatening him. He shook his head disapprovingly and sat back down in front of the fire.

Satisfied, I threw another punch at the tree, putting all my strength into it. Dry and thin, it finally yielded, breaking into two.

"Shit," I muttered, switching to a thicker tree. Since I'd woken up, it was the second tree I'd killed by punching it to death. My hands hurt a lot, but that kind of pain it was what kept me sober through all this crap.

I would probably kill someone if it there hadn't been these trees nearby.

"Your friend will end up with the trees if you do not do something," I heard Flemeth saying. "It's so fun, haha!"

_Crazy old hag._

"Oi, Oi, Noah," the elf said, approaching me. "What are you doing?"

_I'm Playing Diamondback,_ I thought, but said nothing.

"I'm talking to you!" She pulled my shoulder, forcing me to face her, and I had to use all my strength not to punch her face on an impulse.

I took a deep breath, controlling my anger. Maker, I wanted to hit her. "_Don't touch me,"_ I growled through clenched teeth.

"Or what? You're going to hit me?" She challenged me. Her golden eyes showed no hesitation. She thought I was joking?

My body was shaking so hard that I didn't know how I was standing still. The most annoying was the buzzing noise which only worsened with the sound of the blood pounding in my head.

"_Control yourself_!" she ordered, and I felt something poking me in the belly. When I looked down, I saw her hand pressing one of her daggers against my stomach.

Clever, elf, _very clever._

At that time, the buzz was already deafening. But somehow the scene was familiar. It felt like I'd done this before, but I had no real memory of it. Anyway, for me, it was enough. One of the benefits about punching objects was the silence. If I had an audience willing to provoke me, there was no reason for me to stay.

"_Out of my way,_" I said, pushing the elf aside by her shoulder. She didn't resist, but she still wielded her dagger tightly between us.

Before heading back inside the hut, I gave one last blow to the tree that I'd been beating, breaking its trunk in two.

* * *

**Kallian**

I heard the wooden door slam behind me. I hadn't noticed until now that I still held the dagger tightly, as close as I could to my body.

Shit, _I really thought I would have to use it!_

I looked around. Flemeth was standing, talking about something with Morrigan, who in turn, was stirring a pot on the fire. Alistair was near the fire, but as far away from the apostate as possible, sitting on an old trunk. He was silent, staring at the burning wood while he fanned the flames with a thick piece of wood.

I went over and sat on one of the adjacent stumps. It was dark and the flames played on the objects, bathing the place with a strange orange color.

The atmosphere was dense, to say at least. Heavy, just like the weather before a storm. Not even the crickets dared to sing their song tonight.

I thought I should probably say something to him, but he was so intently watching the fire burning that I doubted he even noticed my presence. But that was not the problem. What I would say to him? I barely knew him.

"Alistair?" I called. Well, I had to start somewhere right?

"Huh?" He asked softly and hoarsely, surprised. He was haggard, his eyes red and swollen. "Ah, Kallian." He tried to force a half smile, without much success. He was always smiling, joking and being a fool since I met him. Seeing him broken like this made the words die in my throat.

"I..." I started, without knowing exactly where I was going. _How are you?_ Terrible, of course, it's obvious. I didn't have many choices, and the clock was ticking. He stared at me, waiting for me to continue.

"Not so well, if that was the question," he replied, as if he could read my mind. He narrowed his sad eyes, staring at the fire, and his next words were no more than a whisper. "But I'll be ready to leave whenever you want, if that's what you're worried about."

"I just came to see how you were," I replied, crossing my arms. I didn't understand why he'd gone on the defensive so suddenly.

"I'll tell you how things are," he said, standing up. "Terrible!" Alistair started walking in circles in front of her. "And you know what?" He growled, "Things only got worse after your arrival!"

"What are you talking about?"

"If it wasn't for _you both_, everything would be different. I'd have been on the battlefield, and Duncan would be alive!"

"Are you saying it's _my fault_?"

"We already had enough trouble until you came," he growled. "Because of you and your damn problems, I had to baby-sit instead of helping the Grey Wardens, and now Duncan is _dead_!"

"That was as important to me as to you!" I retorted, standing up. What he was thinking?

"No, _it was not_!" He shouted, making Morrigan and Flemeth stare at us. "This fight was never yours, and all that you guys did was ruin everything, so don't pretend you care!" Alistair threw the piece of wood against the cabin, where it crashed when it hit the wall

"Idiot ..." I said shaking my head, as I stood up. _Stupid boy_. But that, Kallian, is what you get for trying to be a good person. _To the Void with him!_

I still don't know why I put my silvers on losing bets.

"Now, now ..." Flemeth said, approaching. "Before you decide to kill each other, I would like to know a few things ..."

* * *

I entered the cabin after a few hours, with Alistair at my heels. He laid down on his bedroll without saying a word. Noah was already laying down, but I didn't believe that he was asleep.

Anyway, I kicked his foot to wake him. He looked at me in the same way that a Mabari looks at a bandit.

"What is it now?" He growled.

"We're leaving in the morning," I replied, lying on my own bedroll, between the two.

"Who decided that?" He replied, giving me his back. Little did he know that I didn't care.

"You are a Grey Warden, you took an oath, if you will not respect it, well, then it's not my problem. The notification was given." I replied. _Take that, idiot._

"Since when have I cared about your warnings, elf?" He grunted.

You know what? _Screw it._ I kept silent, turning my back to him too. If he opened his mouth again, I'd sleep outside.

"Where you going?" he asked me, after almost ten minutes in silence.

"_Stop the Blight."_ I felt him turn behind me. I looked over my shoulder to find him staring at me in disbelief.

"You and what army?" He asked, and it seemed he was beginning to take me seriously.

"The army that we will create, starting tomorrow morning. We will use those treaties that force people to help us."

"Wait, you're telling me that you will cross the country alone and seek each group and convince them to mobilize an army for you?"

"I won't be alone. Alistair will come with me." I replied bitterly.

"As I said, _alone."_

I stared, the rest of my good mood vanishing. I didn't know how Alistair would handle all this humiliation without saying a word. He would have a lot of patience.

"Whatever," I replied, raising an eyebrow. "I don't understand the surprise. Isn't that what Grey Wardens do?"

"You got to be kidding me," he said, sitting up.

"You think I'm joking?"

"Let me guess, you want me to help you with this craziness?"

"No, I'm announcing that _I_ will leave in the morning. You do whatever your conscience tells you." I turned my back for the last time.

"I honestly don't know what you expect. Nobody will listen to an elf," I heard him rolling in his bedroll.

"You're right. They will not listen to an elf. But they will be forced to listen to _me_."

Again, the silence reigned. And I didn't expect it to be broken until dawn, so I positioned myself to sleep.

One of the things that I noticed was the new candle on the table near the door. The candle was too far away for my taste, so I moved my pillow as close to the light as possible without catching my hair on fire.

I wanted to sleep and forget this damned day, but something caught my attention.

The shadows - they were so weird, drawing strange shapes on the wall. It was like ... they were watching me ...

Then came the breeze, ready to throw me right into the bottom of the abyss.

I felt like everything that had happened to me in the last week had hit me like a knife in my heart. Everything - from my tragic marriage until the last moments at Ostagar.

It reminded me of home. How were they doing? How they were handling everything? Were they angry with, for all that had happened? Did Shianni hate because I hadn't kept my promise to protect her? For letting that bastard touch her? And my father? There'd been no time to write to him.

How I wanted to hear Soris playing right now ... His songs always eased my heart.

Nelaros, Nola ... Innocent people killed because of me. If I had not been so stupid ... I should have realized what was going to happen. I… It was my responsibility. I should have seen that coming. How could I leave home without my daggers? Dammit!

Hadn't life already taught me that? What could happen when you lower your guard? That people die when you are too mesmerized with the fake illusion of peace?

I am definitely not good influence on people. Every time that someone gets close to me, they are negatively affected in some way. I tried to fool myself, thinking that I could change things, that if we would only stand up and fight, we could make some difference. And they believed in me, they believed that someday our lives would be better.

And the only answer we got, the _only_ answer that was possible was _death_.

King Cailan acted like an idiot, but maybe he was just too innocent, living in his own fantasy world. His neglect always hurt others, especially us elves, but that didn't mean he deserved such a tragic ending.

By my side, Alistair muffled his sobbing, pressing his face against the pillow. The night was not easy for him either. I was angry at him, sure I was, but seeing a man crying it's always painful. I wish I could have done something to ease him, but what could I do when I couldn't even ease my own heart?

Duncan... did not escape either. I owed him my life, and now he was dead. It was a debt of honor that I could never repay.

Also, I remembered of the others. Good people that didn't deserve to die that way. Carver and his shy smile. He'd seemed like a good guy, and he was so young… Wynne and her gentle touch. We didn't talk much, and although she was a mage, I never felt a magic like hers before. It was the purest and kindest energy that I'd ever felt in all my life.

The white mabari…

That little dog was so full of life. He was able to understand everything that I'd told him, and sometimes I felt like he was talking to me, with just his big, pleading eyes and his doggy way of telling me how much I meant to him. Every time I close my eyes, I could see him happily wagging his tail and barking, craving to get up and run like any other puppy. I never had imagined that his violet eyes would haunt me so much.

The truth is, in those hard moments, we only seemed to be able to think bullshit. And it was no different with me. Later, much later, I would realize that Loghain was the only one to blame for our betrayal, the great and respectable hero that everyone loves so damn much.

But here, in that moment, it was like the weight of the entire world fell onto my back.

Ignorance was a blessing, yes, and the demon showed me that, numbing my mind so everything could explode at once, in the dead of night, just at the worst possible moment - _surrounded by the shadows and alone_. Not to mention that I knew he was here, waiting for me to break, sneaking through my sorrow until he could finally reach the abyss and drag me inside the heart of the darkness with his own hands – or paws, whatever.

I must confess something - I never cried so hard in my entire life.

* * *

_A/N: There's nothing better than a little fight to start a relationship. Fluffy is coming, I promise ;)_


	12. Starting Over

_**A/N:**__ Last Chapter of the year! Yay!_

_Thanks for the great reviews! You guys are amazing :)_

_._

_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Artwork of Chapter 11: **__goo. gl /o9BXl (without the spaces)_

_**Artwork of Chapter 12**__: goo. gl /SgD0T __(without the spaces)_

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Starting over

.

**Kallian**

There were no nightmares that night.

I stayed awake for a long time, and to be honest I didn't have any idea of how many hours I slept. I just know that it was already morning.

I was exhausted. Mentally and physically exhausted.

In the morning, before we left, Flemeth gave us some things - breads, fruits, water, bandages and five sovereigns for each of us.

Can you believe it? Five sovereigns! And also a few silvers.

This, however, does not put her on my list of best friends. I cannot help but be suspicious of mages. Especially when I could _read_ them. Every mage has part of his nature written in his energy. They could lie if they wished to – to others, to themselves – but they couldn't lie about their magic. It was too way personal, like it was coming directly from their souls. Once I'd learned that, I found myself being able to read them, like a book. Their intentions fueled their actions, and it ended up being reflected in their magic.

Flemeth, however, seemed to be neutral – awfully neutral. I couldn't feel anything from her. _Anything! _And sincerely, I can't decide if this is a good or a bad sign. She saved me from the Darkspawn, and there was nothing I could do but accept her help.

But I sure was grateful.

"I don't trust you, _witch_. Leading us to a place so isolated like this seems too convenient for you," Alistair demanded suspiciously. He had been very quiet since we'd left Flemeth's hut, and when he opened his mouth it was to complain. _Humans..._

Yes, I was still angry with him because of the previous day.

"Feel free to take your own path, Warden. Embrace the horde, if you want. However, if you're not going to giving us a better alternative, then I suggest you shut up and let me do _my_ job," said Morrigan.

_Ouch!_

Ah, yes. Flemeth also "gave" us her daughter. And she was leading us out of the Wilds, using some interesting shortcuts to avoid the Darkspawn horde, which by the way, was _really_ huge.

Morrigan stopped, looking at Noah, as if waiting for confirmation if she should keep leading or not. He didn't say a word, just ignored her and kept walking. Lately, this was his response to everything.

I still cannot believe he decided to come with us. At least, I _thought_ he was with us. I couldn't be sure, since he just put his sword on his back in the morning and started to follow us, like a ghost.

Actually, you just knew he was there because you could hear his breathing now and then.

His bad temper had reached an impressive new level.

Morrigan then crossed her arms and started to stare at me.

"What is it, Morrigan?" I asked, staring back.

She shrugged. "I just want to know if anyone else disagrees with me." She shifted her weight and tossed her head in disdain. "If you'd rather take a different path than the safe one, feel free to go. But before you do, let me know so I don't waste my time trying to help you. If you'd rather die through your own ignorance, I can be back home in time for dinner."

Of all the people I could have traveled with, how the hell did I end up with the most difficult ones?

I watched her for a while, thinking. Noah leaned against a tree, waiting to move on. Alistair looked at me intently, waiting for my response. He probably expected me to agree with him.

I had no idea how things got to this point, but it seemed that the last word would be mine.

The whole question was: How could I trust an apostate?

An apostate who saved our lives.

This situation could not be worse. But the truth is that we needed her.

I took a long, deep breath before answering.

"Morrigan, you know this place better than anyone, so if you tell me that this is our best option, then I can only trust in your word," I said slowly, studying her reaction. "Do not disappoint me, or else..."

"Or what? I'm not afraid of threats Warden," she retorted angrily.

I'd say things were complicated enough, since one false step could throw us directly in the path of the horde, but since she took it personally...

"You should be afraid. His sword flies." I replied, pointing to Noah, who rolled his eyes.

"What?" She asked, confused, squinting.

"One day you'll understand." I shrugged. "Lead the way."

* * *

The group followed Morrigan's lead for hours, stopping occasionally to take a break. They went through dark and suspect places, but as promised, it was far away from the main horde. Also, with our Grey Warden senses, we managed to avoid all of the minor groups that were around.

It was less than an hour until twilight, and the group was looking for a place to set up camp.

"I don't like the idea of spending the night here in the Wilds..." Alistair said as he picked up branches and pieces of wood along the way for the fire.

"This place is cruel to the unwary traveler who venture through its mysterious paths in the night," Morrigan said, analyzing the place. If her intuition was correct, they were just a few meters away from a glade, hidden among high rocks and trees - perfect for camping. "But I don't think you want to risk that, do you?"

"Right..." Alistair said, defeated. He looked at Kallian, hoping to get some support, but she narrowed her eyes, shook her head and resumed walking.

_She reminds me too much of Noah_, he thought, crossing his arms angrily.

"This is the place I mentioned," Morrigan said, pointing to the small glade ahead of them.

It was a beautiful place, despite its somber atmosphere. The grass, very green and low, covered the entire site along with the brown moss that fell from trees, fighting for its space with the rocks and the dry branches. It was, indeed, a place well protected and dark at the same time. There, it seemed that the night had already fallen.

"Have I disappointed you, Warden?" Morrigan asked, victorious.

"Not even a bit," Kallian replied, relieved. It was good to get at least one of her concerns off her shoulders. "Good job, Morrigan."

Noah walked around the place, making a brief inspection of the ground, especially where the entries weren't covered by trees - the blind spots and the really protected points of the place. Alistair was preparing the campfire while Morrigan was setting out her bedroll as far as possible from the group. Noah settled against a rock under a tree, just like Morrigan. The difference was that he did not have a bedroll. Actually, none of the Wardens did.

The only belonging they had was Kallian's backpack, which she hadn't let go of since she left home and a sack with the supplies that Flemeth gave to them, which Alistair was carrying along the way.

Once the fire was set, Alistair stood up and walked toward Kallian, who was standing near one of the trees in silence.

"Looks like we'll sleep on the ground today. But at least we will have the fire to warm us up," he joked, trying to smile. Kallian, however, frowned and gave him such an empty look that even with the fire burning near them, he felt a chill over his spine.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," she replied sulkily, walking near the campfire. Alistair followed with his eyes until she sat facing the fire.

He was confused. What was wrong with her? She had never been so rude with him before.

_What was that?_ He thought. But the truth was that he was willing to find out. After all, he could take the risk of having another Noah in the group.

He walked up to her, determined to get an explanation at any cost, one way or another.

"What is your problem?" He asked angrily.

"If you're here only to scream again, then don't even bother to open your mouth, Alistair," She cut, irritated. "I don't need this shit."

_Scream again? What she was… Oh._

Then, everything made sense.

She was angry with him because of the way they'd argued the night before.

Suddenly, his anger turned to guilt and all the harsh words died in his throat as little elf returned to watch the flames.

He was silent, sitting on the ground at in a safe distance from where she was. He opened his mouth several times to say something, but he couldn't find the right words. He deserved her coldness; after all, he'd acted like an idiot. Everything he thought to say seemed insufficient.

"I'm sorry," Alistair said, staring at the flames, embarrassed. It was the only thing he could say. He was feeling horrible for such a blunder. Of course she was not the one to blame for everything that happened, and he felt like an idiot that he had even thought so. "I…"

Kallian looked at him, raising one eyebrow suspiciously.

"Go ahead," she conceded, hugging her legs underneath and leaning her cheek on her knee, looking at him seriously.

"I... I think I was a bit unfair to you," he began, still staring at the flames.

"A bit?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Okay, a lot," he admitted softly. "I needed to vent and I ended up taking it out on you ..."

"... Unnecessarily," she added, keeping her eyes fixed on his. The silence between them was very disconcerting, but he didn't dare to divert his attention from the flames. He was just too ashamed to look at her.

After what seemed like five minutes, she whispered, "I just wondered how you were handling everything. I didn't mean to bother you or invade your space."

He turned his head to look at her, surprised by her answer. He definitely did not expect this. She was visibly upset, so he was expecting shouts and kicks instead of words. Definitely this just made things even worse.

"Seriously, I'm sorry," he said after a while, looking deeply into her eyes. Her instincts were telling her that he meant it, and normally her instincts hardly failed. "I was going through a bad time, and Noah was troubling me before you arrived. I couldn't even hear my own thoughts and, well, the result was that you saw."

"I expected this sort of reaction from him," she said honestly, closing her eyes. "I didn't know you were like him."

"Wait, wait!" He said, raising his hands defensively. "I'm not like Noah, I swear!"

"That was not what you showed me."

"Let's start over?"

"How so?" She asked, lifting her head.

"We could ignore what has happened so far and start from scratch."

"Your conscience is so heavy that you have to go to that extreme to feel better?"

"Ouch, you got me," he said, smiling sheepishly.

There was a long silence. Alistair was troubled. For him, one more mistake had been made and he was certain that he had won the hatred of his new companions.

He was ready to get up, when Kallian extended her hand.

"Kallian. Pleased to meet you," she said, leaning her body back, leaning on one hand. She would never know if he meant it or not if she wouldn't give him a second chance. So, be it. She didn't need another problem.

What could be wrong with that?

"Alistair," he shook her hand, smiling. His grip was gentle, but firm. "The pleasure is mine."

They were quiet for a while, staring at the fire, until Alistair decided to break the silence again, "I should have realized that you weren't like Noah."

"Yes, you should," she grumbled, but her face was more relaxed, which gave Alistair confidence to continue the conversation.

"I guess nobody asked how you were, right?"

"You guessed right." She gave a half smile. "Our group is not the best example of fellowship, right?" She gestured for him to look around.

Alistair looked at Noah and then at Morrigan. He chuckled at the thought of three different camps inside the same group. Kallian couldn't help but smile. It was the first time that she was in a group like this, but even knowing that she hadn't any experience with this subject, she knews how absurd this whole situation was.

"Definitely not!" He took a deep breath, getting serious again. "How are you handling this?"

She thought for a moment, assessing the best way to explain the situation without seeming desperate or lost.

"One step at a time, I think that would be the best answer." She stretched her legs toward the fire and leaned back on her arms. "And you?"

"As you can see, not very well." His gaze was lost somewhere in the forest. Thinking about Duncan was as if a knife was carved into his flesh - every time a memory popped into his mind, the blade coldly turned in his heart.

"You liked him a lot, didn't you?" She asked, seeing the inner conflict plastered on his face.

"Yes..." His eyes filled with tears, but he did not let them fall.

"He was a good man," said Kallian weakly, lying down against the cool grass of the glade. "I cannot believe he's gone."

"Neither can I," he whispered, lowering his head.

"You want to talk?" She asked, looking at Alistair from corner of her eye. She knew it was a sensitive subject, and she was afraid that he would lose his mind again. Actually, part of her was feeling bad for seeing him so sad. It still bothered her to see his distant wet eyes lost in his own sorrow. She knew what it felt like – It was like she was facing a mirror.

"No, I guess. Thanks for the offer anyway," he said, standing up.

"It would be nice if we could rest; tomorrow will be a long day. But first we have to establish an order for the watch." Kallian said.

"I can go first if you want." Alistair offered.

"I'll take the second then. Morrigan will take the third and Noah the last."

"Okay." He replied, walking away from the fire, to make room for Kallian as she settled down.

"I don't remember agreeing to this," Noah muttered. His voice has never sounded so bizarre.

"You were listening to our conversation?" Alistair asked, mentally counting the distance between them. Noah was relatively far. Or they were too loud, or Noah had good hearing.

"Even Amaranthine could hear your conversation. Tell me, why we had to find a place hidden like this if you cannot keep your freaking mouth _shut_?"

"Ah, thank you for letting us know you're still with us, Noah. We are grateful for your active participation with the group, and for you relentless willingness to help – always with a _smile_ on your face." Kallian said, mockingly.

"Screw you, elf." Noah growled.

"Good night to you, too," she rolled her eyes.

"Put out the damn fire at least." Noah grumbled.

"What? Why?!" Kallian jerked up, startled. "What's this about the fire again?"

"We have a nearly full moon in the sky. Total visibility. Anybody seventy, maybe a hundred yards away can see the smoke." He leaned back against a tree. "Unless of course you want to attract the Darkspawn. "If that's the case, continue with your conversation and they'll be here shortly."

"We can't just lower the flames and let it weakly burn?" She asked, ignoring his rudeness. Her mind was occupied with other problems. Like the Demon.

"You heard what I just said?" Noah growled.

"He's right," Alistair said as he lit a piece of wood to use as a torch. "Not only Darkspawn, but there's also bandits that could be attracted by the fire. We need to go unnoticed."

Kallian stay silent, defeated. She watched Alistair stepping on the fire, the flames gradually becoming extinct.

* * *

**Kallian**

Completely in the dark, in the middle of the woods, sleeping on the cold ground and alone. I was definitely screwed.

I could already see those damned scarlet eyes, watching me in the shadows, moving in every breeze, in every rustle of the leaves.

There was no best time for him to keep that promise. And the wait was killing me.

_By the Void, Dammit!_

I was awake, lying on my stomach with my face buried in my arms, refusing to sleep until the time that Alistair called me to replace him.

The watch was worse than expected, because I had to keep my eyes open.

But at least I had a torch.

By the way, I covered Morrigan's turn, too.

Everything was quiet, and despite my initial fear, I wasn't that scared anymore. After surviving the first hour, the others were not so bad.

I could see that the torch illuminated more than I thought. I could watch the silvery leaves of the bushes lit by the moon wavering in the wind. I could also see the breathing silhouette of my companions, sleeping peacefully on the ground. And most importantly: There was no lion behind the trees.

But that didn't make me want to sleep. In fact, I was deadly tired because of the hike, tired of having spent the last night crying, but I knew that as soon as I closed my eyes, everything would start all over again.

"Go to sleep, elf." Noah said suddenly, taking the torch from my hands. I almost fell off the rock where I was sitting.

"It's not your turn yet," I said, trying to grab the torch back. He abused the fact that he was taller than me, and lifted the torch high above his head and out of my reach, just as he had done with drawing at Ostagar.

As if my life were not complicated enough, fate made me small.

"Neither is it yours," he said grimly. I frowned at him too, but instead of teasing me, he pointed the torch to the ground and looked at me with a victorious expression that made me be sure that I would not like what was coming next.

"Sleep. Now." He continued with a threatening tone. "If not, I will extinguish the fire."

He was sure a manipulative son of a bitch!

"Right!" I huffed, defeated. Staying in the dark was one thing, sleeping in the dark was another, and much worse. I started walking to my seat near the ashes of the fire, when he made a sound with his throat to catch my attention.

"There," he pointed to the place where he was sleeping near the tree root.

"Wait, you want to tell me where I should sleep?" _No way_! I still had my damn pride. It would not be manipulated by an arrogant human.

That was until he lowered the torch to a few millimeters from the ground.

I would give _anything_ to punch him at that moment.

"Right!" I raised my hands, angry, snorting toward the place he had indicated. He, in counterpart, disappeared among the trees, starting his rounds.

I cursed him so badly at that moment that frankly I don't even remember my exact words. Especially since most of them I had invented. The rage blinds the reason, and apparently, it destroys the vocabulary, too.

Anyway, I bit my tongue and I lowered my head against the tree root.

There was an opening in the trees, just above my head, which allowed the moonlight to penetrate the gap completely, gently touching my face. It was by far the most enlightened place in the camp. I could see a privileged view of the moon, as well.

Noah, Noah… I honestly don't know what to think about you. Most of the day you're an arrogant bastard, but on the other hand, the remaining part shows that you have a heart inside of your skiff of ice.

Bipolarity is a disgrace.

I tried to relax, looking at the moon. She was beautiful, as always, transforming everything it touched into silver. Slowly, I was losing consciousness and then, before I knew it, I was sleeping - the veil of the fade was playing with the tips of my fingers.

I could feel the world transforming itself around me when Noah's cry pulled me out of my dream.

"Darkspawn!"

* * *

_Happy New Year! ;D_


	13. Clash at the Wilds

**A/N: **_I failed to post at Monday again, but I had a good reason. My beta needed a break after all this holiday craziness, and I don't have enough courage to post the chapter without her wondeful corrections lol _

_Welcome back, wintry! :)_

_I have some good news, too. Until early february, I will post more often. I didn't decided how it will work yet, but there will be at least_** two**_ chapters per week, soooo stay tuned! :)_

_**EDIT**: Again, I' forgot to say this. There's an extra artwork of Kallian's Sketchbook, a christmas picture, in my DeviantArt. You can find it here: goo. gl /bGqmy (or you can check the link on my profile.)_

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_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Artwork of Chapter 12**__: goo. gl /SgD0T (without the spaces) - failusnot suggested this long time ago, so here's the couple artwork :)! _

_**Artwork of Chapter 13: **__goo. gl /3rwsg (without the spaces)_

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

* * *

**Chapter 13**

Clash at the Wilds

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**Noah**

You know when you _feel _that you will get stressed?

That day where you wake up with a shiver down your spine, with a form and voice of its own, that keeps whispering all the worst ways of something ending badly?

Yeah.

* * *

**Kallian**

I opened my eyes frightened, standing at once. My head spun a few times because of the sudden movement, but I had my daggers in hand before even my eyes were used to the weak light of the place. The moon was covered by clouds, far from where it was when I last closed my eyes. It would not be long until the dawn.

The only effective source of light was the torch in Noah's hands, which was burning lower with every minute that passed.

Alistair was standing, holding my backpack. He handed it to me when I lowered my daggers and I put it on my back, unaware of what was happening around me. Morrigan was tying her bedroll in her bag in an unusual haste, even for her.

"Darkspawn," Noah repeated breathlessly. Sweat dripped from his forehead and his hands and clothes were dirty with sand and dust. "_A lot."_

As I stared at him, everything fit together in my mind. I started to feel a few little sources of negative energy moving quickly, approaching us with a startling speed.

Darkspawn, for sure.

I had never felt the presence of Darkspawn so strongly before. I think my body is finally adapting itself to the taint.

What was just a_ few_ turned out into _many _points. A dozen, two, three ...

"We gotta get out of here _now!_" I exclaimed when I realized that the few dozen turned into two hundred at least.

"There's more," Noah said, taking Morrigan's bag from her hands and putting it on his own back. "I'll take that. Just get us out of here!" He told the apostate, who nodded and began to lead the group. "I saw the main Horde from there," he said, pointing to the highest point of the hill. "They are still far from us, but not for long. Four hundred meters, perhaps, but they're moving fast."

"Where are we going?" Alistair asked, following the group closely. We were running as far as we could from the Horde, keeping the torch burning weakly while we cut through the tree branches along the way.

"I remember that Duncan told me about a city near the road and out of the Wilds." I said concerned, realizing that the distance between us and the Darkspawn it wasn't decreasing at all.

I had a bad feeling about it.

"Lothering, yes," Noah said. "Once outside the Wilds, we can get there in a day, two at most.

"We can buy supplies and camping equipment once we get there," Alistair said. Yep, a bedroll would be nice.

"Morrigan, take us to the main road, out of the Wilds," Noah said. "From there, I take the lead."

"As you wish," said Morrigan, increasing her pace and turning into a wolf in front of us.

Wait, wait, wait… Did I just said _wolf_? Andraste's ass, after that I needed a dose of ale. A strong one, please!

"Woah!" Alistair cried at my side. Apparently it was surprising for him as well. I knew of the existence of Shapeshifters, but I'd never seen one transforming in front of my eyes. And apparently, neither had he.

"You'll have enough time to be surprised later, _templar boy_. For now, just keep running!" Noah growled, starting to lose some of the goodwill he had been showing so far.

Anyway, it was horrible.

It was dark, and we were going through each pass narrower than the other and my arms were all scratched because of the dry twigs. The worst part was the stones and all kinds of obstacles we had to divert or climb along the way.

We ran for a long time, following twists and turns here and there. It was well past noon when the density of the forest decreased and finally we were able to see more than just two feet in front of our noses.

But it was also when things started to get complicated.

* * *

**Noah**

I _attract_ these trammels.

Picture this: An oak. A beautiful, strong and huge oak, powerful and splendid with its leaves wavering in the spring breeze. Pretty cute, huh?

_No_, especially when it was flying in _my direction_.

We were rounding a bluff, which would lead to the outermost part of the forest. We were less than 20 minutes from the main road, if my calculations were correct. That's when a tree trunk hit my back, throwing me down the ravine. I rolled at least 6 feet throught stones, branches, plants and thorns until my back slammed hard against a huge rock.

Only my armor kept me alive. My soon-to-be a broken armor. But that did not mean that I was fine.

I heard a strange noise. Just like the annoying buzz that I hear when I'm angry, but it was different. After a while I realized it was my own rusky voice, screaming in pain.

I could not get up. I could not move. And, as the noise stopped, my vision darkened ...

* * *

**Kallian**

"Noah!" I cried, seeing him being hurled down the slope. I looked back just in time to see the Ogre waving the trunk of a tree in my direction. I'd thrown myself against Alistair, making us both fall to the ground, narrowly escaping the same fate as our companion – the trunk missed us by less than an inch.

Speaking of companion, Morrigan was gone.

I fell over Alistair, but he quickly spun me around, escaping the ogre's attack again. The trunk hit the spot where we had just been, creating a little hole on the ground.

This was one of those situations that take place in the space of a heartbeat. However, when so much happens in that one small fraction of time, it's easy to doubt if it was really a few seconds of our life, or if it was just a dream.

He was lying on the top of me - his face was so close to mine that I could feel his quick breath caressing my cheeks. His body was pressed so closely against mine that I could feel the warmth of his skin emanating through the cracks in his armor. I could also feel the muscles of his arms as he'd embraced me to roll us away from the ogre's attack.

I realized for the first time that Alistair's eyes weren't dark as I had thought: They were light brown, a different shade of caramel that was watching at me so intensely - and for a moment, I forgot that there was a human behind that worried look.

And you know what? His face was so close to mine that the slightest move could have made our lips touch. I know that he noticed it too, because there was a slight shade of pink playing on his cheeks. Now that I mention it, I could feel a strange warmth in my own cheeks…

Soon, this little and embarrassing incident gave way to more urgent things, such as the Hurlocks approaching us from behind the ogre. Alistair realized that too, and pulled me back to my feet really quickly, saving me from another blow of the ogre.

When we finally got out of the beast's reach, that pink shade wasn't there anymore.

I pulled my daggers off my back and ran, trying to get around behind the beast. Alistair raised his shield just in the time to defend another swing of the oak trunk. The impact threw him against a tree, but thankfully he suffered no serious injuries.

I used this fraction of time to look down at the ravine. Noah was lying on the ground with a wooden stake impaling his right shoulder, which, by the way, was at a very weird angle. He appeared to be unconscious, but at least we were both causing distractions enough to prevent the Darskpawn from getting to him.

We were buying time.

For what?

Morrigan was nowhere to be seen, and there were just two of us to take care of this. If only I could climb on the back of the ogre and repeat the maneuver I'd used at the tower, this would be easier. But first we need to get rid of the Hurlocks.

While Alistair was distracting the ogre by being his personal punching bag, I tried to get rid of as many Darkspawn I could, as quickly as possible. It is not difficult if you know what you're doing. My mother always told me that a good rogue is one that determines a fight in the first blow, even if it means backstabbing the enemy. At first I did not understand, and in fact I thought it was cowardly and unfair, but as time passed, I learned that if you want to survive, you have to be fatal, one way or another.

This doesn't please me, let me make it clear. I like that my opponent knows who he is fighting. And because my stealth does not work as it should, then it was mandatory that I had to have the fatal part, at least.

It was all about locking their swords with my daggers, opening their guard and then a finishing blow to the head. Fast, clean and fair.

It was not the _right way_ for a normal rogue to behave, but… Oh, hell, I wasn't normal anyways, so who cares?

After the fifth Hurlock was dead, I felt an arrow hitting in my arm. I turned quickly and looked back in time to see the genlock notching another arrow in his crossbow. I didn't think twice and threw my dagger at it. We were not so far, and I managed to hit the creature in the neck.

Yep, all the time wasted in games of darts was worth it.

One of Hurlocks came to attack me in the meantime. I dodged his blow with a quick spin, positioning myself behind him and carving my other dagger in his nape.

The situation was so tense that I did not felt Morrigan's magic concentrating behind me. I only noticed the giant ice projectile when it passed just inches from my face toward the ogre, hitting him in its shoulder.

The ice spread rapidly, freezing both arms and half of its head. The extra weight made him fall forward, allowing Alistair to perform a final blow on the back of its head.

If Morrigan had been with us in the tower, everything would have been so much easier…

Between the agonizing cries of the ogre, I'd pulled the arrow out of my arm and went toward the dead genlock, to retrieve my weapon.

When I got there, I felt something screaming inside my mind.

The large Darkspawn group that we felt in the morning was very close to us. _Dangerously close._

More and more enemies were slowly arriving. Alistair was fighting against three Hurlocks and was having a little trouble with them. Morrigan vanished again, but this time I could feel the trail of her magic moving away from the hustle, going toward the ravine.

I ran over and bumped hard against one of Hurlocks, throwing him to the ground. Alistair killed one and I killed the third. Before he could turn his attention on the Hurlock standing, I grabbed his wrist and start to run towards the gully.

"What are you doing?!" He yelled to see where we were going, trying to stop me. When my grip didn't loosened, I could see by the look on his face that he was taking me seriously.

"We will die if we stay here. It's more than we are able to handle!" I said as we approached the hill. "Get ready to jump!"

I sheathed my daggers back and I heard him doing the same with his sword. Once we'd reached the border, we jumped.

We started running downhill, then slipping aside. Do not ask me more about the intercourse of things - I just know that I end up rolling. Thankfully I didn't get any other injuries, but my arm wound was hurting so bad that even the adrenaline wasn't working anymore.

I had my doubts if I still had strength to hold my weapon.

Once I got up, part of me was relieved to see Noah breathing. He was lying carelessly, ranging between a state of partial consciousness and unconsciousness.

"Noah!" I said, shaking his good shoulder. He stirred, by reflex, but I received no response. But I was not willing to give up - I shook him harder, slapping his face. "NOAH!"

He opened his eyes and looked at me bewildered, groaning a bit. Void take me, his wound was terrible.

"Forgive me, Noah," I said, placing a hand near his neck and the other on wooden stake. Probably he crashed into a dried tree on the fall. The impact must have been too strong, because it broke everything on the way – the tree, his armor, his shoulder, and now he was impaled on the ground.

What else could I do? He would not survive for long with that piece of wood in his flesh. Someone had to take it out, right?

I breathed twice to gain courage and pulled the spike at once. Noah bellowed in pain, turning his back to me.

"Son of a bitch!" Noah roared, now fully awake, using the other arm to prevent me from touching him.

"Be quiet, let me see your wound!" I complained, trying to avoid his hand.

"There's nothing to look at, my shoulder is broken!" He muttered, disentangling himself again as he tried to stand and staggering back like a drunk. Alistair grabbed him by his good arm and helped him up.

"No, it's not!" I replied, tapping my foot restlessly. I could feel a group of Darskpawn going around the hill, rapidly approaching.

"She's right, it does not appear to be broken," said Morrigan, behind us. Where'd she come from?

"Where the hell were you?" Alistair complained, still clutching Noah's arm, supporting him.

"Staying alive, of course," she replied, lightly touching Noah's shoulder. Gold, shimmering lines of light went out of her fingers, slowly closing the wound, leaving a nearly imperceptible scar. "You don't expect a mage to be at the front line, right?"

"You might have helped us more, witch," Alistair complained.

"Neutralizing the Ogre was not enough, then? And as far as I remember, twas much more than you accomplished in days," she countered.

"Enough!" I shouted angrily. "You can exchange caresses later. Now we have to get out of here, quick!" I could almost feel the larger group staying within range. If they found us, we would be dead.

"Okay, Okay," said Noah, disengaging himself from Alistair and turning to me. "You seemed to know what you were doing," He turned his bad shoulder at me. "Can you put it back in its place?"

"It would not be the first time," I replied. Life in the Alienage teaches you a thing or two. I knew the basics of first aid, but I was no healer.

"Do it," he said, positioning himself.

"Morrigan, can you do this?" I asked, and she nodded. I could not risk dealing permanent damage to his shoulder. It was a responsibility that I was not willing to take.

But Noah repelled her.

"I asked _you,_ not to her," he replied grimly.

"Okay," I said, surprised at his reaction. He could have asked anyone there, but he chose me. What did that mean? I don't know. He was trusting me with his shoulder, and that could mean something, but we're speaking about Noah here – we could never be sure of anything with him.

I could not delay this any longer, so I positioned myself, holding his arm with one hand and his shoulder with the other. "Ready?"

"Just do it!" he said, closing his eyes. And then I pulled. The shoulder went back to its place with a sustained 'creck' and contained a cry of pain from Noah. The veins in his neck jumped and, for a moment, I thought he was going to punch me.

I had no idea that I was so close to the truth...

As soon as I let him go, he turned around and punched Alistair hard in the stomach.

"What the _hell_ was that?!" I complained, holding Alistair by his arms, preventing him from falling. The poor Templar was coughing, breathing heavy portions of air that never reached his lungs. "Why did you hit him?"

"Because I can't hit _you_," Noah said between his teeth, controlling himself. I could see Morrigan suppressing a smile. "Come on."

He started to run and Morrigan followed him. I looked at Alistair, who wore the most puzzled face I had ever seen in my entire life.

"Why me?" He asked me, still gasping for air.

"I gave up trying to understand him long time ago," I said, putting his arm around my shoulder to help him to walk. "Come, let's go."

* * *

Finally the group made it out of the Kocari Wilds. But they were not alone yet. Although the larger group had followed in the opposite direction, there was still a smaller group of at least thirty Darkspawn chasing them.

Once Alistair caught his breath and managed to walk on his own, Morrigan came and healed Kallian's wound. Her magic was hot – the golden lines burned where they touched and somehow, it tasted like cinnamon.

The group was not in its best shape - Noah could not handle his two-handed sword, Morrigan's mana was lower than she wanted to admit and Alistair and Kallian were with their bodies aching, exhausted from all the struggle and running.

"These guys will not leave us alone," Noah said, resting his hand on a tree while trying to catch his breath. The group stopped when they realized that he had halted.

"What do you suggest?" Kallian asked breathlessly, leaning up against the tree.

"We could kill them… and keep on our way to Lothering. From there, we can see what we will do." Noah replied, pulling the blade off from his waist.

"What about the larger group?" Alistair asked.

"I no longer feel their presence," Noah said. "We can only hope that they are far away."

"Okay then," Kallian said, pulling the daggers off her back. Her wound was healed, but the pain was still there. At least she could hold her weapons again. "Morrigan, stay out of sight and take advantage of as many opportunities as you can."

"There's no need to say it twice, Warden," she replied, disappearing among the few shrubs and greenery of the place.

"Alistair, stick around us. Your shield will be useful," Kallian said, analyzing her companions. Neither of them could handle much more.

We would need a miracle.

"The closer we stay to the trees, the better," Noah said. "We'll have coverage against archers,"

"Right," Alistair said.

"Gentlemen," Kallian said, raising her daggers. "We have company."

* * *

_Thanks for all the great reviews and all the faves/follows both here and on Deviant Art! :DD _


	14. Something about Leadership

_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Artwork of Chapter 14:**__ goo. gl /QsjoE (without the spaces) *There's "your" elf, Rohh ;)_

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

* * *

**Chapter 14**

Something about Leadership

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The first wave of at least ten Hurlocks and Genlocks appeared among the trees. The group used the trees to take cover, just like Noah had predicted, to protect themselves from the first rain of arrows that was launched against them. Once the last arrow struck the ground, Morrigan threw a fireball at the enemies, staggering almost the entire group.

In the confusion, Kallian, Alistair and Noah moved from the tree's protection to finish Morrigan's job, stabbing and slashing the Darkspawn that were still lying on the ground as fast as they could. The enemies' number was still overwhelming; however, and soon the Wardens were forced to retreat. They were surrounded.

Suddenly, Kallian's attention was elsewhere. A vile and disturbing energy was taking form, at an alarming rate, too close to her taste. It was just like the one she'd felt inside the Tower of Ishal.

"Emissary ..." she said breathlessly.

"What?" Noah asked, looking at her.

"Fall back, NOW!" She screamed, pushing them back with all her strength. A jet of golden light exploded where they had just been, spreading quickly into the ground. Noah and Alistair had escaped by less than an inch. Kallian, however, didn't have the same luck: she fell on the ground, with one her legs paralyzed.

Noah tried to return to her side, but Alistair pulled him back to the cover of his shield, protecting both from the second wave of arrows. Once he'd noticed the Hurlock coming from behind them, Noah left the Templar's protection and killed the best before it could backstab Alistair. More and more Darkspawn were surrounding them, keeping both busy enough to move. They knew that Kallian was vulnerable, and sooner or later the others would notice that, too.

_If only my arm was fully healed…!_ Noah thought, grabbing the handle of his two-handed sword, considering the possibility of throwing it against the ones that were surrounding the little elf. _If I fail... If I'm off by even an inch, I'll kill her. Damn!_ He cursed mentally, giving up the idea.

The first Hurlock who approached her was ready to plunge its sword into Kallian's chest. She, however, used her good leg to push against its chest before the beast could touch her. Its own momentum crashed it to the ground. Before the Hurlock could get back to its feet, she tried desperately to move away, punching her paralyzed leg in a final attempt to regain the control of her muscles, but she wasn't even able to relieve its numbness. In the meantime, two other Darkspawn approached her.

Kallian tried, in one swift motion, to cut the legs of the first enemy, but the beast was smarter - It avoided her easily and made a deep cut in her hand, forcing her to drop one of her weapons. She aimed her remaining dagger at him, throwing it like a dart toward his head. The hurlock tried to avoid it, but the blade hit on its shoulder. As if it were nothing, the creature pulled the dagger from its flesh and threw it at a tree, where the blade stuck fast in the bark.

The Hurlock stared at her, raising its sword with a triumphant expression on its face as it realized that its prey was immobilized.

Kallian closed her eyes for a moment, certain that she would die. She took two long, deep breaths and opened her eyes again, staring at her executioner. She still had her bare hands raised, ready for one last defensive maneuver, but deep inside she knew that her chances weren't that good.

Instead of stabbing her, the Hurlock fell, hit by an arrow to its head.

Kallian didn't think twice - she stole the beast's long sword from its body and used it as cane, standing as fast as possible to get away from the confusion.

As she limped - or hopped on one foot, whatever - one by one the darkspawn fell dead – always with an always with a well-placed arrow to the head. The little elf leaned against a tree, as far as she could from the enemies, before looking at the source of the arrows.

A hooded elf with a blond hair loose in the wind was on the top of the highest rock, still shooting against the Darkspawn.

"Mahariel ..." Kallian whispered, smiling. _So you finally came back_, she thought.

However, she had no time to think about it. Feeling another concentration of energy, she turned her attention to the emissary again. He was channeling another magic spell - the sparks were dancing between his fingers, aimed directly at Mahariel.

Kallian knew that she couldn't do much, but something had to be done. Noah was still having trouble with some Genlocks, and Alistair was just too far to do anything in time. She took a deep breath and gathered all her strength to try to limp toward the Emissary, avoiding the few remaining Darkspawn along the way.

If she was one second late, he would have succeed.

She threw herself against the magician at the exact moment he was launching his magic, changing the lighting's direction at the last moment.

Irritated, he touched Kallian's stomach, sending a strong electrical wave through her body. She felt every one of her nerves burning as her body writhed on the ground.

"Raaarrrgghh," The emissary growled, dropping to his knees. He used the other hand to double the discharge against the little elf.

She couldn't feel her legs anymore; her vision blurred, and all that remained of her consciousness was focused on the blood bubbling inside her throat every time she tried to scream.

Kallian was on the verge of unconsciousness when the sparks suddenly ceased; she'd opened her eyes just in time to see Alistair standing behind the emissary, holding him by its neck with his sword crossing the mage's chest.

Without the electrical charge running through her body, Kallian was able to breathe again, but she wasn't feeling better at all. She coughed blood over and over again, gripping the grass as she felt the magic still running through her body.

The mark on her right shoulder never burned so intently like this before, as if it was the source of the lingering pain.

"Kallian!" Alistair said, rushing to her side. He knelt beside her, helping her to sit. Seeing that she was unable to stand by herself, he held her close to his body, forcing her to drink a potion.

She'd coughed one last time, but finally she was slowly coming back to herself.

Alistair laughed without humor, relief slowly replacing the worry on his face. "Of course you would attack someone who could melt you into a little pile of goo," he said as he wiped the blood from her chin with his fingers. "I guess that's my new job. You know, saving your life,*" he joked, helping the little elf to get back to her feet. After realizing that she wasn't able to stand by herself, he wrapped his arm around her waist.

"I didn't need help, but thanks," Kallian replied sulking, yet gratefully accepting his support. Her pride was talking on its own again, but she had no strength to fight against it.

"It's not what it seemed." Alistair, noticing her trembling hands and her still paralyzed leg, used his Templar ability to neutralize the effect of magic over her body.

"Okay, maybe I did need it," she admitted, starting to feel better. It was a relief to stand on her own again. "Let me guess: That does not give me credit either?" She asked, remembering his comment at the top of the Tower of Ishal. It was funny, rather than ironic - She wished to hit him so hard that time, misunderstanding his joking nature, and now she was using the same line with him, stifling a chuckle when she noticed his lips curving in a smile.

"No, it doesn't," Alistair said, smiling with the memory, glad that she wasn't mad at him. He let her go out of his arms, but kept himself close to her, just in case.

"So that means ...?" She crossed her arms, frowning at him.

"It means that you're crazy," he said, engaging in a fight against a Genlock, who approached them while they chatted. "A bit suicidal, too." He pressed the darkspawn with his shield against the tree, allowing Kallian to impale its neck with the stolen sword that she was using like a cane. "But you have courage, I'll give you that."

"Should I take that as a compliment?" Kallian asked, still breathing heavily. She could still feel the taste of copper in her throat.

"The choice is yours," he said, running through the last Darkspawn standing. Before he could do anything, however, Mahariel killed it with another good shot.

"We did it," Noah said breathlessly when the three recruits gathered again. Morrigan stopped a little further back, leaning disinterested against a tree. They all were staring at the Dalish, who was approaching them with her head down, the hood covering her eyes.

"Thanks for the help," Alistair said.

"You, the ones from the city, don't really know how to take care of yourselves," Mahariel said, shaking her head.

"So, the tree hugger* is back," Noah said, frowning.

"Oh, I'd almost forget about you. The guy of the eternal scowl. Howdy, Grumpy?" Mahariel asked sarcastically.

"_Grumpy_! Ha! I like that," Kallian said with a playful smile on her lips, pouring some water from her canteen to the wound on her hand. It burned considerably, making her smile be replaced by a grimace.

"Humph," Noah growled, visibly upset.

"Do you know each other?" Alistair asked, scratching his neck, confused.

"She was recruited by Duncan before we got to Ostagar." Kallian replied as she picked up one of Flemeth's bandages from inside her bag. She wrapped her hand gently, earning a questioning look from everyone, which she ignored.

Yes, they had a healer in the group, but no extra-sensory perception was needed to know that Morrigan was at the end of her mana. It was wise to save the last of her strength for later, in case something like this happened again.

"And why weren't you there, then?" Alistair asked, leaning against a tree. Now that the battle was over and his body relaxed, fatigue was hitting him. Suddenly, his armor was heavier than he could bear.

"Long story," Kallian replied before Noah or Mahariel could open their mouth. "So how did you find us?"

"The question is how the Darkspawn didn't," Mahariel replied, rubbing her forehead. She was covered in a cold sweat. "I went to Ostagar, as I thought you would, but I only found Darkspawn," she said, leaning against a tree, her head beginning to feel heavy. "I'd followed the trail you left through the Wilds. It was a hard job, especially because you keep zigzagging here and there, but when I'd discovered the pattern of your moves, it was obvious you were aiming for the road."

"What do you want?" Noah said a few octaves higher, his voice trembling with anger. When Mahariel didn't reply, he grabbed her by her shoulder, forcing her to face him.

Mahariel then fell weak, falling against Noah's chest. He, in turn, embraced her, to prevent her from falling. When her head touched the base of his neck, his eyes widened – her skin was so hot that it was like it was on fire, burning strongly against his own.

Noah knelt on the ground, still embracing her body. He laid her on the soft grass, his arms still wrapped around her back. The Dalish was conscious, yes, but she had no more strength to stand by herself. As her head fell back, her hood slipped.

"By the Void…!" Kallian gasped, raising her hands to her mouth.

All her veins were darkened, just like the black lines of her moon-shaped tattoo, spreading possessively through her face like a plague. Her emerald eyes, once sharp and bright were, opaque and lifeless, forever lost in the darkness. The only color in her pale skin was a slight shade of red in her cheeks, due to her intense fever.

Mahariel felt her head spin - her eyelids weighed more than her entire body. She wanted to talk, but could not find the words. It was hard even to remember how her mouth worked.

Kallian and Alistair approached them, kneeling beside Noah. The young Templar put his hand on Mahariel's forehead, examining her carefully.

"I just ..." Mahariel said weakly, stumbling on the words, feeling her strength ending quickly, as if the earth itself was draining her energy.

While she still had the Keeper's ointment, it was easy to contain these crises - one dose and a few hours of rest were enough. She'd used last dose two days ago, and since then, her body health was in a free fall – at each new crisis, her state worsened tenfold. Deep inside, Mahariel knew that she was far beyond her limit, and she'd used the last of her energy to save Kallian's life.

"I just ..." She tried again, tears beginning to shimmer in her eyes, which stared fixedly at some imaginary point in the sky. "I just did not want to die alone ..." She said, closing her eyes tightly. Her lungs began to ache as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

She was scared - her heart ached, not because of the taint's corruption, but because of the bad prospect of her current situation: _Dying and alone_. She was not even sure if she would meet Tamlen in the afterlife – her last actions only brought dishonor to her life. She was ashamed to call for Andruil's guidance after everything she'd done, but she couldn't help it – she was desperate.

"The taint claimed her body," Alistair said, shaking his head slowly. "I'm sorry."

.

_*Thanks for that, wintry :)_

* * *

_Please, review if you have time - I would love to hear your thoughts :)_


	15. Always

**A/N:** _Hey, dear readers! No artwork today again because I had no time to finish it. Don't worry - It will be there until the next update, like always :)_

_Thanks for being with me :)_

_Just a little note: flashbacks will be in italic :)_

**_EDIT 27.04.2013: Thanks to JordanMathias, there's a small fix in bold. :D_**

_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

* * *

**Chapter 15**

Always

.

"There must be something we can do!" Kallian said thoughtfully, holding Mahariel's hand tightly. The Dalish looked at her with a confused and suspicious expression, but deep inside the small gesture calmed her heart a little. Noah laid her head carefully on the ground and stood, moving away from them.

"The Joining! Of course!" Kallian suddenly exclaimed, her face lighting up. "It was Duncan's plan: to make her go through the Joining because it was the only way to save her!" Kallian said, remembering the conversation with Duncan in the Dalish camp.

"Wait..." Noah said, crossing his arms against his chest. "You're not planning to recruit her, are you?" He frowned, growling through his clenched teeth.

"Yes, that's it," Kallian replied firmly, recognizing his tone of voice – there was a storm coming.

"You will not recruit her." He said sharply, pointing a finger at her.

"What do you suggest then? Leave her to die?" Kallian felt Mahariel clutching her hand weakly. She returned the grip, giving a reassuring look towards her.

"She ran away!" Noah growled, raising his hands up in disgust. "She was given a choice, and she turned her back on us, when we most needed her! I don't want a coward like her watching my back!"

"She went through a lot!" Kallian snapped, rising indignantly.

"She's been through _a lot_?" Noah laughed dryly, without humor. "_I went through a lot_! Her problems are _nothing_ compared to my problems."

"_Nothing_?" Kallian asked, narrowing her eyes. Anger began to rise in her chest. "Who do you think you are to measure the pain of others?" She walked toward him with clenched fists at her sides. "You think you were the only one who went through your own _personal hell_ before you got there?"

"What I think is that you have no idea what you're talking about," he growled.

"Yes, I have!" Kallian growled back. "You have no right to scorn the pain of the others, much less to judge the way they react to it!"

"She RAN AWAY!" He shouted, punching a tree to keep him from hitting her.

"It's easy to talk about others, but you have become an arrogant and selfish jerk who thinks that he knows everything, but all you did was _lock yourself_ inside your bloody noble shell and _complain_ all the time!" She yelled back.

"Yeah, said the one that cannot even be alone in the dark for half a minute before shaking like a child!" He countered, higher than her. To Kallian, it was like he had slapped her face. It was a hit below the belt, but she was not willing to let him remain on top for long.

"My personal life does not interfere in _my work_," she said a few octaves down. "Unlike you, I don't mix the two!You are allowing your selfishness interfere with your duty as a Grey Warden!" She rubbed her chin, walking in small circles. "Incidentally, they are interfering in your _humanity_ as well!"

"And _you_ want to talk to me about humanity?" He crossed his arms dismissively.

"Humanity is not a matter of have these or not," She pointed to her own ears. "It has to do with this," She pointed emphatically to her own chest, in the direction of her heart. "By the Void you're suggesting that we leave a person to die! Have you ever stopped to listen to what you're saying?"

Noah opened his mouth to respond, but this time, it was her word that slapped his face. It was not just a matter of pride - it was worse, deeper and disgusting. Who did he think he was? The Maker himself, to decide who lived and who died?

He put his hand on his forehead, slowly sliding it down his face, digesting the whole situation. His heart was pounding loudly, not because of anger but from a stronger feeling - the guilt, replacing the blood in his veins.

_Damn, I'm acting just like Howe did_, he thought, now angry at himself for letting the rage speak in his place. He slid his hand back to his forehead, rising to the top of his head, holding his hair back.

The look on Mahariel's face didn't make him feel any better. She was more than a cowardly elf, a tree-hugger, in some ways she was just like him - someone who was suffering, and who was frightened of this agonizing pain. Worse still was that her fate was being decided by strangers that she'd been taught to fear her entire life.

As much as Kallian wanted to continue to throw other truths at his face, she said nothing. She could clearly see the turmoil of feelings written over his face. They had talked so many times these last days that she could tell by his expression when he was seriously considering the facts or simply thinking about a smart answer to infuriate her. She waited for two long minutes, which seemed like an eternity, until he spoke again.

"Okay, take the blood then, Templar boy," Noah said slowly, his eyes closed. His raspy voice was back to his normal tone. "We just need the blood, right?"

"Yes," said Alistair, searching for one empty water bottle inside his bag, to use as a vial for the blood. **"And a few drops of the liquid inside your pendants."**

"Let me make myself clear, first," Noah said, raising a hand in protest. "If she survives, she will be on her own."

"Pardon?" Kallian said, putting her hands on her hips. _Here we go again_, she thought.

"_I don't trust her to protect my back_," Noah repeated slowly, emphasizing each word.

"And what makes you more trustworthy than her?" Kallian asked, feeling anger touching her heart again. If the Maker really exists, only he knew how costly it was to her to keep her composure.

"I did not run away," Noah said as if it were obvious.

"Big deal!" She uncrossed her arms and began to walk in circles while using her fingers to enumerate the facts. "You don't care, every time we talk to you, you just ignore us, and the only thing you have done lately is walk behind us like a ghost: No opinion, no contribution, regardless of everything!"

"I thought you just said that it was not decent to judge how people react to their problems," Noah snapped sarcastically, dropping his head to the side and raising his eyebrows, as a form of provocation.

"I'm telling you the facts," said Kallian, losing the rest of her patience.

"Since we are talking about facts, tell me a situation where I have failed with you," Noah growled, crossing his arms. Kallian stayed silent. As much as he acted like a jerk all this time, what he said was true - he had never failed with the group. "Then? Tell me when I failed in fighting by your side. I'm waiting."

"Maybe you have a point," Kallian admitted grudgingly. "But that does not change the fact that she will stay, whether you like it or not!"

"And since when have you started making the decisions?"

"Since I ended up being the only one who cares!" Kallian took a deep breath, trying futilely to calm down. Since they left Flemeth's hut, nobody seemed to have an opinion about anything. Not only the small matters were ignored, but the important decisions were as well. Noah was the first to refuse every responsibility and now he wanted to talk about group stuff? _No way,_ she thought. "Let's do it," she said to Alistair, who nodded. She turned to walk toward Mahariel but Noah stopped her, grabbing her arm harder than necessary**.**

"We're not done yet!" Noah growled.

_"We're not done yet, little brat!" The guard said, grabbing her arm so tightly that she felt like her bones would break. Seeing that the elf wasn't willing to drop the little hands of her brother, he punched her hard on her back once, twice, enough times to break her ribs._

Kallian hated it when humans touched her. Their hands were made for hurting, to bring pain to innocents. They were always hurting someone.

_"Kali…" The boy coughed weakly, trying to break free from their kidnapper, but it was useless – the humans had broken his legs with the same brutality the guard used beating Kallian. "Hands off my sister, your son of a...!"_

_Before he could finish his sentence, the one grabbing Kallian's arm punched him hard in his face._

_"Damn, Theodore! I need him __**alive**__!" The mage exclaimed, furiously, still holding the boy by his neck._

_"Fen…!" Kallian sobbed, feeling her brother's grip loosening slightly._

Memories that she wanted desperately to forget were playing in her mind again, triggering feelings that she so carefully tried to restrain deep inside her heart.

_"We'll make it, Kali…" The boy whispered, looking at her. His golden eyes showed a fierce determination as he told her his last words, "I will take you home, even…" He coughed as the blood started to enter in his lungs. "Even if it's the last thing I ever do…I will protect you!"_

_"Shut up, brat!" The guard punched him again, this time in his stomach. Kallian felt him losing strength, but she didn't let his hand drop._

_"She is only a kid, for Andraste's sake!" The mage exclaimed, kicking her in the face. Finally, she dropped her brother's hand, defeated. Her nose and her mouth were bleeding, just like her heart. She was beaten, but her eyes were still strong, looking sharply at the human in front of her. "I've changed my mind," He said with an evil smile crossing his lips. "Tie the girl on the table. We're going to use her instead of the boy."_

_"What made you change your mind so quickly?" The guard asked. "I thought you said he was stronger than her."_

_"He is," The mage answered, still staring at Kallian._

_"I don't know, boss," The guard punched Kallian's ribs again when he noticed her attempt to get closer to her brother. "I don't think she'll last too long."_

_"Neither do I, but I am curious to see if she will still wear Adaia's haughty eyes after I'm done with her." The guard nodded, dragging her by her arm over the stone floor of the room towards the door._

Kallian couldn't control herself and slapped his face.

"Lay a finger on me again," said Kallian between her teeth, shaking off his grasp. "And I swear, in the name of whatever god you want,_ I'll kill you._" She said slowly, looking deeply into his eyes. Noah saw a flame burning strong in her look, a different glow of rage and resentment that was slowly consuming her pacific nature.

It seemed that she was looking, not at him, but at someone completely different. And for the first time, he could feel that she was serious.

She meant it.

"If she wants to stay, she will stay," Kallian continued, approaching Noah. "And if you're not satisfied," She slapped hard the chest of his armor, making the cracked metal creak loudly "Go away. If you don't want to do this, just _go away_!" She pointed at the road. "Grab your belongings and get out of here!"

"Is that so? Is your situation so great you can afford to choose your allies like this?" Noah responded, so distracted by her surprising reaction that he hardly noticed the sting her hand left on his face.

"It is true that the Grey Wardens need all the help they can get," Kallian said, taking some steps backwards. "However, if it means having more problems than solutions, then I prefer to travel with one less." She turned around, breathing deeply a few times before finishing. "You're not a bad person, Noah, and I'd really rather have you around. But if you're not willing to help, then do me a favor and stop making things worse."

None of them said anything for several long minutes. Morrigan watched from afar, amazed by the distraction. Alistair had collected the blood of one of the Darkspawn's bodies, and waited near Mahariel, apprehensive. He didn't know what to do - whether to intervene or not. He wanted to stop them from killing each other but, on the other hand, he was afraid that his actions could trigger an even worse situation. The young Templar had helped the Dalish to stand, and now she was using all her strength to try to keep firmly in place. Despite the fever and the pain, she wanted to, at least stand on her own, since she had no power to participate into the discussion.

"Morrigan," Kallian called, her voice a little more controlled, although there was still a trace of the angry tone she had been using moments ago. "I saw a river not far from there while we were fleeing. I want you to go there and see if it's safe to set camp there, please."

"As you wish," Morrigan said, turning into a big, beautiful brown wolf with golden eyes – the same one from earlier.

"If by any chance we are separated," Kallian added, "We'll meet here in an hour." The wolf nodded once, quickly disappearing from sight.

"Alistair, can I count on you to help me with this?" Kallian asked, looking at him with a hint of anticipation.

"Yeah, sure," Alistair replied, relieved that the tempers had calmed down by at least a little.

"Great, let's get out of the road then," she said, taking one last look at Noah before passing by him, going in the opposite direction of where Morrigan went.

"Do you need some help? I can lend you a shoulder or two, if you want." Alistair smiled, offering his hand. She pulled away slightly.

"I can do it, I still have my pride," Mahariel replied softly, walking slowly. Alistair followed closely, just in case. He was impressed by her willpower – any other person corrupted like her would be dead by now. And there she was, finding strength to walk.

Noah took a deep breath, not knowing what to do. Part of him wanted to disappear – leave them on their own as she'd wished. He felt annoyed, challenged, and that part of his mind wanted to send them all to hell.

Another part was consumed by guilt, because of his selfishness and uncontrollable pride over accept someone like her in the group.

Cowards - his life was filled with them. Howe was one of them. A treacherous coward who stabbed his family's trust like it was nothing. But despite Howe being majorly responsible for all the hatred accumulated inside his heart, it was not him who Noah had remembered in that moment, but an episode of his past that deeply changed him.

More than just a discussion, it was a clash of memories - a way of cashing in the other source of their personal problems.

Anyway, there was still a small part of him, lost between the other two, that was attached to the duty of the Wardens and to the oath he'd made in Ostagar.

Moreover, if he left now, there would be no difference between him and the Dalish - He would turn his back on the ones that were counting on him, when they most needed him. He did not want to be like her. And most importantly, he did not want to be like _him._

Noah needed to think. He needed space. It was too much to consider at once.

He started walking toward the road. Kallian watched from the corner of her eye, without turning her head. Deep inside, she was disappointed to find that he was leaving, even knowing that she already expected that. She sighed deeply, before vanishing into the woods.

Mahariel, stumbled while she was crossing the road, losing her stamina once more. Again, Noah ran to her, catching the Dalish before she could touch the ground.

She was so small.

She was trembling, too. She didn't dare to look up, afraid he would end her suffering with his own hands, here and now. And that made Noah felt horrible. Alistair tried to approach them, but he'd retreated when he realized that Noah was just helping her to get back to her feet. He closed his eyes, letting his heart speak instead of the whirlwind of thoughts that were affecting his judgment.

"Live," he whispered close to her ear, only for her to hear. "I do not want the weight of your death on my back, so ..." He paused, looking into her eyes and put his hands on her shoulders. "Survive and throw it in my face later."

They looked at each other for a while, until he continued walking. Alistair, realizing she was getting worse, placed one of her arms over his shoulders, holding her waist to help her walk, even against her protests, to where Kallian went.

* * *

"I need you to stay awake," Kallian said to Mahariel, who sat propped against a tree. Kallian chose a glade, similar to where they camped the day before – the only difference was that there are no big rocks and large canopy trees protected them. The redhead was holding the canteen, facing down the Dalish, who was staring at her intently, absorbing every word with ferocity. Mahariel knew nothing about this elf that was in front of her, but she could save her life, so her focus was intent on understanding Kallian's instructions.

Then she nodded.

"This is Darkspawn blood," Alistair said, standing by Kallian's side. "It is the source of our power. Gives us immunity to the taint and allows us to feel their presence," he added. Some words are shuffled, but she was able to follow his reasoning.

"It's your cure," Kallian said more slowly, making sure she was following. "But it can also be your doom, because the blood can kill you. The choice is yours."

"I'm dying," said Mahariel, hoarse and almost mute. She no longer recognized her own voice. "I accept."

Kallian looked at Alistair, who just nodded, repeating the same words that are spoken since the time of the first Grey Wardens. Mahariel drank the promise, absorbing every word. After all, it could be her last.

"From this day forward, you are a Grey Warden," Kallian said, lifting the canteen to the Dalish's mouth. She drank the cold and thick liquid with difficulty, starting to regret her choice when it started to burn inside her mouth.

Mahariel thought the pain she'd felt with the fever was bad, but after this, she was missing the corruption crises. She felt as if her veins would explode, as if every inch of her body were fighting against each other to see which part burned with greater intensity. Perhaps the fact that she already was carrying the taint had worsened the process, but the truth was that she had fainted even before her head had hit the ground. Not to mention the sound, the mesmerizing song that was the theme of her transformation.

Kallian held her body so she would not fall hard against the ground. She looked at Alistair, her eyes full of expectation.

"She'll live," he replied smiling after checking the pulse in her throat.

Kallian gave a long sigh of relief, throwing her back against the hard ground, feeling the weight on her shoulders evaporating. Alistair sat beside her, smiling to see that she began to laugh softly.

It was impossible for him to keep serious with her beautiful, pure laughter filling his ears.

"What?" She asked excited, feeling all the tension and anger disappear at once.

"Nothing." He shook his head, still smiling. "It was pretty admirable, fighting for your friend like this," he said, leaning against his arms.

"Friend? No. I hardly know her," she replied, looking up to the sky.

"Really?" He asked, eyes widened with surprise. "You stuck your neck out for someone you don't even know?"

"You might say so," she replied, turning her head to face him.

_She has a beautiful smile,_ he thought, forgetting for a moment what they were talking about.

He shook his head when he realized that he was staring, clearing his throat before asking, "Why?"

"Because I promised to her best friend that I would take care of her." Kallian replied, remembering Merrill. The little Dalish was so sad and scared when she whispered those words during the farewell... She sighed, closing her eyes to prevent him from seeing the emotion in her eyes.

"So, that's the answer?" Alistair asked, sitting up.

"I do not have an answer to your question, Alistair. It was the right thing to do," she replied, sitting too. "Answer me this: Could you let someone die knowing that you have the power to save her? Could you be okay with yourself?"

"I think I understand what you mean," he answered truthfully. "But that doesn't diminish what you did. You're a good person, you know?"

Kallian analyzed him closely before answering. _Person, _she thought. It was so strange hearing the sound of that word coming from a human's mouth.

Before she could answer, however, Alistair exclaimed, "Maker, I thought you two were going to kill each other!"

"Me too..." She replied, staring at the ground. It all happened so fast that she hadn't know what she was doing - she was just reacting. The truth is that Kallian only became truly aware of what she was doing when they all were silent, moments before she gave that order to Morrigan.

Noah overreacted - first throwing her problem in her face, then grabbing her arm. As much as she was a reasonably controlled person, she could not imagine herself reacting differently.

And she would do it again, no regrets.

After a long silence, Alistair asked, "Do you think Noah will come back?"

"I don't know. Hopefully yes," replied Kallian, running a hand through her hair. "If not, we will lose a good warrior..."

"And his flying sword!" He said in a playful tone, standing up.

Kallian laughed, not because he was talking nonsense, but because as absurd as it was, it was true. "Yeah, and his flying sword…"

"Let's find the camp?" He asked, extending his hand to her.

"It's about time. She needs to rest." She said, taking his hand and standing. With the move, she could almost feel all her bones ache. "And, apparently, us too..."

"I agree," he said with a grimace as he stirred his neck, feeling the bones creak.

"Look," she began getting serious again. "Thanks for your help. Really."

"No need to thank me," he replied, holding Mahariel in his arms. "We're in this together – You can count on me, always." Alistair smiled one last time, before leaving a confused elf behind.

_Always, huh?_ She thought, before following them towards the camp.

* * *

_This little box have magic powers... One click and you can make the author very, very happy :D_


	16. Second Chances

_**A/N: **__Let's talk about fluffy today... XD Thanks for the Fav/follow and the amazing reviews! :D_

_Busy week! I had no time to draw. But the artworks will come :)_

_Hugs to my beta and her endless patience with the extra work :D_

_**.**_

_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

* * *

**Chapter 16**

Second chances

.

**Kallian**

Better than simply a safe area, Morrigan had found an abandoned hut by the river. It was falling apart, but it had a roof, which suited us very well, especially because of rain that started to fall. The door was locked, but it didn't stop us for long – one of Morrigan's hair clips was enough for me to make the magic happen. Yep, the Alienage is an excellent teacher sometimes.

What kind of troublemaker would I be if I couldn't even unlock an old door?

Speaking about the witch – pun not intended, I swear - she took the biggest room of the hut for herself. I didn't complain. After all, if not for her, we would be sleeping in the rain right now.

Although, with so many leaks in the ceiling, it was hard to tell where it was raining more - inside or outside. But I was not complaining… The beds were dry and warm, and that was all that mattered.

Alistair snuggled Mahariel on a double bed, after I had shaken the dust from the sheets. She was deeply asleep; her skin was slowly returning to its normal tone. There was just a few wayward black lines lingering on her neck, but I was pretty sure that they would be gone before the dawn. After settling everything, we went to check the house - lock the doors, search for threats… In other words, to make sure that the place was safe, and guarantee that it stayed that way.

Noah wasn't anywhere to be found.

I had no idea that I would be so upset with his departure.

I mean, it's not like I like him at all, but he proved to be a reliable person, despite his bouts of bipolarity. The truth is that I meant it when I said that I would rather have him around, I just didn't know that I would feel his loss so deeply.

I still resent him for our discussion, but I could not say that I was still angry with him. Not much, at least.

After the round, I went into what looked like the kitchen. It was a great room with a fire pit in the middle and a long table near the wall. I will not lie; the place was an epic mess.

What food was stored inside the cupboards was already rotten, smelling like a dead rat. Disgusting. There was no table on the floor that wasn't creaking, and I even got some barbs in my feet, but at least the wood was dry enough, burning perfectly. And there I was, right in the middle of the chaos, sitting near the fire, trying to get my clothes dry without removing them from my body.

I didn't get that soaked, really. Since the rain was only starting by the time we reached the hut, it wasn't even enough to wet my hair, but I couldn't avoid getting cold. The wind didn't help either.

"What are you doing?" Alistair asked, walking into the kitchen and scaring me a bit. I was so lost in thought that his low, strong voice echoing through the room startled me.

"Trying to get warm. You?"

"Nothing," he replied, staring at the fire with such intensity that I couldn't help myself and turned my head to check if the kitchen was burning and I hadn't noticed yet. "Mind if I stay here? I Promise that I won't bother you."

"Sure," I replied. He sat in a chair near the doorand I could swear that I saw his lips trembling slightly. "Alistair, if you're trying to warm up, then you're doing it wrong."

"I just didn't want to invade your space." He picked up one of the forks from the table and stood.

"You won't be invading my space, unless that you're planning to kick me out of the kitchen." I gave him a playful smile.

"Ouch, you got me! Now I need a B plan to conquer the kitchen!" He said in a mocking tone, sitting on the opposite side of the fire. And I was more than grateful for him to respect my space. "Or maybe I just want to get warm," he replied back in his low voice, returning my smile.

I watched in silence as he removed his gloves, using his sleeve to clean up the fork. Then he pulled out a hunk of bread from his bag, jabbed the fork in it and held it near the fire.

I must confess that, at first, part of me was uneasy about being alone with him. A_ human_…

It was so absurd that I still didn't know how I dared to form the words, even if it was just inside my mind.

Against all odds, I'm not as suspicious of him as I was at first. So much has happened that part of me began to accept his presence.

He was always there whenever I needed and since Mahariel's Joining, he'd been keen to help me make this work.

I think… that I was starting to trust him. Or I just softened a bit. _A lot, _whatever. Or I was crazy.

Maybe both.

"No sign of Noah?" He asked, cozying up to the fire.

"No," I replied. "Where's Morrigan?"

"She is locked in her room doing her witchy things with her… witch things." He said, stumbling on the words.

And of course, I had to laugh. He didn't understand my reaction – I could see by his puzzled expression that he was confused. And that only made me giggle even more.

"What? What?" He asked, just like an impatient child.

"You're really not very good with words, huh?" I asked, failing miserably to check my laughter.

"I am!" He replied indignantly. "Sometimes ..."

"Okay, okay." I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "What about Mahariel?"

"Sleeping. I just checked."

"It would be nice if you were not there when she woke up." I said. "At least I would not like to wake up alone in a closed room with a strange human by my side."

"Alright, anything to not increase my legion of haters." He replied sullenly, parting the hot bread in two, offering me one half.

I thought about refusing, I swear I thought, but the smell of toasted bread made my stomach growl. _Loudly_. I felt my face begin to burn as I took the bread from his hands. He smiled back, amused by my embarrassment.

"So," I cleared my throat. "Legion? Aren't you exaggerating?"

"Exaggerating? Y'all hate me," he began, resentfully. "You, Noah, Morrigan ..."

"When did I ever say that I hated you?" I asked, frowning. He gasped, not knowing how to answer. As he thought about it, I took the opportunity to take a good bite of my bread.

Gluttony sucks, by the way. I burned my mouth. But it was worth it – the bread was delicious.

It was the first time I'd eaten anything since we left Flemeth's hut, so even if I'd had to eat a stone, I would probably think that it was the best thing in the world.

"You were so… cold…when we met," he began, scratching his forehead. "And most of the time you were so distant... I dunno ... I thought it was a problem with me."

"I don't hate you," I said without really considering about what I was planning to say. Now that I was thinking about it, it was true. "You… supported me on some things, saved my hide a few times, and unless you try to sneak into my bedroll some night, I have no reason to hate you."

"I would never do that!" He said, choking on the bread.

"I hope not." I said, grabbing my canteen inside the bag and offering it to him.

He took it gratefully, drinking long drafts before continuing.

"Then why?" He said hoarsely, still coughing, clearing his throat as he returned the nearly empty canteen back to me.

"The indifference, you mean?" I asked, not sure if I was pleased by the course the conversation was taking.

"Yeah," he replied, biting the bread more carefully this time.

"I think it's… part of me, I guess," I said, choosing my words carefully. "I don't trust anyone. Not at all…" I stared at the fire, pondering if I should continue or not, while he kept silent, waiting for me to finish. Again, my mouth started to talk by itself. "It's part of who I am, to see threats instead of humans wherever I look…"My voice was barely a whisper, almost unrecognizable, but it was a bit later to worry about it. I mean, I was already talking too much anyway.

The strangest part? I didn't care at all.

"But I..." He started to question me, but I cut him off.

"Just listen," I said, continuing my explanation. "I'm not that ignorant, Alistair. I have some sense of judgment. Prove me wrong, and we will be fine." I sighed deeply when I noticed his puzzled expression. "Look, I cannot afford to lower my guard for every beautiful smile that crosses my path."

"Oh, you think my smile is beautiful?" He smiled, as if to illustrate his words. I had spoken metaphorically, but now that I stopped to watch it closely, his smile was really cute – one of the corners of his lips curved upwards more than the other, forming a crooked smile that was difficult not to like it. It seemed sincere, at least.

"I wasn't talking about you, _Templar boy. _Don't get all overconfident on me." I said, more than satisfied to see his smile turning into a false expression of grief. "Like I said, you cannot blame me for being suspicious. Alistair, you're a soldier, a man and a human - the worst possible combination. Didn't I have a right to be mistrustful of you?"

"But if so, then in Ostagar ..." He paused and stared at me before continuing. I could almost hear his thoughts – '_Ostagar, surrounded by human soldiers and such.' _Yeah, tell me something that I don't know_._ I had the impression that he changed his line, because he opened his mouth and shut it a couple of times, without saying a word. Maybe I had rolled my eyes, I can't quite remember. "You don't think that's kind of _paranoid_?"

"Not the best way to live, but it kept me alive so far and I have no complaints." I shrugged. Really, it didn't bother me that much. I was always surrounded by jerks and psychopaths no matter where I went, so it was not like it could be called paranoid, right?

The best name for it was _Reality. _But I didn't plan to share this much with him – it was a discussion that I was not planning to start, with questions and whys that I was not willing to answer. His thoughts about my ways didn't matter to me; I have my own valid reasons to be like this, and his opinion would not change anything.

Alistair frowned, his eyes suddenly serious, staring at me. "Am I a threat to you?"

_No_ – I almost answered him, but I bit my tongue instead. Yeah, Kallian, do exactly what you said you couldn't. He was nice, and I liked some of his jokes, that's all. It didn't mean that I could lower my guard that much.

Instead of a 'yes' or 'no', I answered him with another question, not because I wanted some kind of complex reply, butbecause I was curious. "Did you prove me wrong?"

"I didn't prove you right!" He answered me promptly, surprising me enough to make me chuckle. "What?"

"You have a point," I said, smiling.

"So, we're _fine _then?" He asked me, hesitantly. Not the bad kind of hesitantly – more like the kind that was afraid of my answer, rather than the kind that he was hiding something.

"For now," I said seriously, watching him lower his head, scratching his forehead vigorously. He stopped when I giggled again. "I'm joking, Alistair – we're fine, really. Just don't disappoint me."

There was that lopsided smile again. "Yes, mistress!"

If I had to choose between crazy and soft, I would pick _idiot_. I shook my head, cursing my big mouth for speaking more than was necessary _again_. I was not like this, but there was something about this silly Templar that encouraged me to talk.

Andraste's ass, I was _really _starting to _trust_ him.

There was a long, however confortable silence between us before he asked me, "You're from the Alienage in Denerim, right?" He took a last bite of his bread. I nodded. "How is it there?"

I was a major fan of an abrupt change of uncomfortable subjects, but he'd managed to pick one worse than the previous. A gift? Maybe.

"Hmm ..." I put the last piece of bread in my mouth, thinking of an answer as I chewed. "We have a really big tree."

He stared at me, frowning again. "Not quite what I expected to hear."

"I don't think that any of the words that came to my mind were within your expectations, so I guess it's all right." I smiled weakly. It was not like I was in the mood to talk about home, and I think he understood me, because didn't insist on the subject.

It was then that I felt something nearby. A singular presence.

"It's a Darkspawn?" I asked Alistair, who shook his head.

"It's more like a Grey Warden," he replied, standing up.

"Noah?" I stood up, too when he nodded.

"We better check it, just in case..."

* * *

**Noah**

I stood facing the door of the hut for a long, long time just thinking - letting the storm fall on my shoulders, trying to wash my soul from all those confusing feelings that were fighting against each other to take the control of my outworn brain. Guilt, Rage, Uneasiness… I was so tired of everything…

Even though I appeared to be staring at the broken wooden door, I wasn't really seeing it.

My vision was darkened, blurred not because of the raindrops, but from the memories that keep coming and going with my unsteady breathing.

Each time my anger blinded my common sense, I took one step towards the mad person that Howe was. All my efforts to walk on the path of revenge were making me be more and more _like_ the person that I hated most, instead of leading me right to him.

First, I almost punched the elf. _Twice._ I came really close to breaking her in two. And on both occasions, she was not wrong.

She wanted to help me - bring order to the chaos while everything around her was collapsing. And my uncontrolled temper almost destroyed her - the _equilibrium_ of the group.

She has her problems, of course, and I didn't dare guess what they were. But she stood firm on her decisions, strong on her position, and nobody even offered her a helping hand.

I could… see it clearly now. She was the only thing that was keeping the group together.

There's one last issue, which only make me feel even _better_ - I turned my back on a person who needed me most.

Poor girl. Her scared, pained look wouldn't leave my mind. She was trembling so much, and yet, she was holding to her life with such fierce determination that it made my heart ache just to think about it. And I did not even know if she had survived or not.

_I _was the true son of a bitch - and I didn't need even half of the five hours that I spent alone reflecting in the rain to reach this conclusion.

But what could I do?

I mean, how could I?

When I'm alone or weak, my thoughts are clearer - the buzz is almost imperceptible and somehow, I'm more like my old self. All this hate seemed like a faint glimpse of a distant past, and for a moment, I could almost see the answer pulsing strongly right in front of my eyes.

_Almost._ I wasn't sure of what this new resolution was about. What could possible exist in the depths of this cave of hate? There was no light at the end of the tunnel. There was no hope left among men. Everything pure in this damned world ended up being corrupted – the light was always drained by the darkness.

I could not be sure of that resolution yet, but there was no other plausible answer than hate. _Revenge_. 

Most of the time... this feeling… was stronger than me. It was like an impulse, an unscrupulous and selfish force taking control of my body and stunning my senses.

I wasn't trying to absolve myself from guilt, far from it. I was, once again, trying to understand myself, and failing miserably. Every time I get closer to… I don't know, _me _I guess, my old self seemed to slip through my fingers.

I wonder if this would be the effect that Duncan said? The corruption of the soul caused by this blind hatred, keeping me away from…from…

I don't know… I was… so lost…

How long did I stay there, staring at the door? An hour, maybe? I couldn't tell. Enough time to freeze my blood, for sure.

I almost jumped up when I heard the cracks move.

I took a deep breath. No matter what had happened - if the elf was angry, if the Dalish girl was dead, if Morrigan had transformed Alistair into a mushroom, which would greatly improve my mood, or whether this would be my last contact with the group - I had to swallow my anger, bury my hate and do what was right - be it for better or worse.

"Hey," Alistair said, opening the door with a smile on his face. "What are you waiting for to come inside? An invitation? A hug?" He joked, probably trying to ease the tension.

I could already feel the buzz growing loudly again, then I stepped forward, grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door, closing it tightly in his face - technically on _my_ face, but the other way makes me feel better.

_Maybe tomorrow_, I thought, reconsidering about the anger.

* * *

Kallian waited at least ten minutes before opening the door again, after sending Alistair back to the kitchen. She found Noah sitting on the step of the entrance, looking at the raindrops falling in puddles that were multiplying themselves more and more because of the irregular ground. She did not know if he was really lost or just ignoring her as usual. _More likely the latter_, she thought.

"Hey," Kallian called, crossing her arms.

Noah turned his head to face her, but something flew into his face, blocking his view. He took the piece of light blue cloth with one hand, holding it at his eye line to check it better.

"What ...?" He asked.

"Use this," She said, leaning against the wall. "The fire is lit in the kitchen, which is at the end of the corridor. There is a room ready for you to share with Alistair on the second floor, first door on the left after the stairs."

"Why the hell would I wear a woman's blouse?" He said getting up, grateful that she had not initiated any discussions.

"I never said you should _wear_ it, it's for you to _use_ it," she said, rolling her eyes. "You're drenched. You can use it to get dry, but give me it back washed later. That is, unless you want to risk it with the moldy and dirty towels that we'd found inside the dressers. Well, the choice is yours." Kallian walked back inside, stopping in front of the ladder, putting a hand on the banister. Noah also stood in silence, waiting for an answer as he stared at the elf's small back.

"We need to talk." It was all she said.

"I know," he replied. "I..."

"Rest first. We'll leave only in the morning, so we'll have time for it later." She moved towards the second floor, without looking at him.

"I thought you would be waiting for me with your daggers drawn."

"Do I have reasons to wield my daggers, Noah?" Kallian asked, turning toward him. She was serious, her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth shut in a straight line. First, Noah thought about the discussion he had with her in the morning, but something in those eyes, something hidden behind that serious stance and firm voice told him that her question had more meaning than the words were saying.

She wanted to know if they were enemies.

Were they? Noah wondered silently. She had pressed against the wall, and as every ultimatum was a subliminal threat, anger began to take control of his body and with a tremendous force of will, he clamped his mouth shut to keep from saying what he should not. It was not as if he felt threatened by the elf. He was almost certain that if they started fighting here and now, there was no way he would not emerge victorious. But this was not a fight that he was willing to buy, especially because, regardless of what he thought about it, something told him that there was more than about the elf that meets the eye. Moreover, he was determined to do the right thing, so he swallowed the provocation, breathing a couple of times before answering.

"You tell me," Noah said after a while, considering that this would be the best way to keep his stance and, at the same time, avoid another confrontation.

Kallian watched him for several minutes before nodding, letting out a deep sigh. Despite the serious look, her expression relaxed considerably. "This is probably the closest we'll come to an agreement, right?" She shook her head and turned her back to Noah. "By the way, Mahariel is alive."

"She..." He whispered, his eyes widening with the news.

"I've told you because I think you should know. And before you start to throw all that crap at me, about how important your bloody pride is or that you don't care, know that I don't give a shit about what you say. I never did." She peered at him over her shoulder. "You're here, and that's all that matters now." Kallian said, before climbing the stairs, leaving a thoughtful and relieved Noah leaning against the hallway wall.

"I… I didn't kill her…?" Noah whispered to himself, sliding down to the floor. "Thank the Maker…!" He sighed, burying his head in his hands.

* * *

_This magic box is really magic. It can make the author very happy and it can tell me if you are liking it or not ;)_

_Thanks for reading!_


	17. Honor Affair

**_A/N:_** _Dear readers, today I wish to talk about some serious stuff before we start. Feel free to skip this if you prefer, but I would appreciate a little bit of your attention._

_When I hear about tragedies, some angst thoughts always cross my mind. And I am not the only one, I'm sure about it. _

_Last sunday was not different – hearing that tragic news has affected me to some degree._

_231 victims. Dozens still in the hospital. Young woman and man that were celebrating the end of the summer break with their friends in a nightclub - mostly students between 16-20 years old – died that night in the fire._

_ Hell, it could have been me. It could be with my friends, with someone of my family. Thankfully, we're safe, but even so I can't imagine what they passed through – the panic of being stuck with 2000 people inside a burning building that only had ONE freaking exit ._

_The scene of the cellphones ranging inside the pockets of the pile of victims at the entrance after the fire won't get out of my mind._

_So, I'm here to ask you something. It doesn't matter your religion – or if you have one – please, spent a little bit of your time to send a prayer or good thoughts to these families. They will need all the good energy they can get. I know it's something that happened far from our reality, far from where we live, but what happened in Santa Maria could have happened anywhere, with anyone. _

_Thanks for listening._

_._

_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

* * *

**Chapter 17**

Honor Affair

.

**Mahariel**

I never felt this bad in my entire life.

Not even the worst of the taint's corruption was this intense. But what does it matter? I was supposed to be dead now, lost inside some dirty and cold hole somewhere in the forest.

In a way, it would have been a more worthy end. Easier, too.

The creators must have a good reason to allow me to live even after everything that happened. That is, if I was even alive. Since I had recovered my consciousness - or at least what I thought that was my consciousness – I've kept my eyes closed, in a mixture of fear and hope regarding what I might find outside this dark, safe zone. I did not know if I was prepared to find out the answer. Somehow, it terrified me and I was not sure if I was ready to face whatever the Creators prepared as my destiny.

Whether I was alive or dead was not the only thing that bothered me. Actually, I did not remember even how I was able to get that far on my own, much less fight like I fought in my precarious condition.

However, other memories were playing inside my mind. There was a dragon flying in the sky. A huge, vicious dragon talking to me through a creeping song ….

I felt a cold hand touching my forehead.

I grabbed the hand and pulled it down to my waist, twisting it tightly. With my other hand, I took hold of the stranger's neck and squeezed, while at the same time I flipped them to the empty side of the bed. In a heartbeat I was straddling my attacker, and had not released my grip.

To my surprise, I found the redhead when I opened my eyes. She stared at me, partly surprise, partly serious, visibly troubled by her shortness of breath.

"What do you want?!" I asked, clutching her throat tighter. I could feel the muscles of her neck squirming, trying to open space for the air to reach her lungs, while something cold touched my own neck.

She passed her arm through mine, and her dagger was firmly pressed against my throat.

"Talk," She said, pulling her dagger from my neck slowly. She stuck her dagger in the wooden bed frame, raising an open hand in a peace sign.

"You are not in a position to negotiate anything," I said. "You really think you can do something without your weapon?"

"I do. I don't need my dagger to defend myself." She replied in a choked voice. "You are weakened by the fever, Mahariel. Don't force my hand - I just want to talk."

"Do not underestimate me, city elf!" I growled, trying to tighten the grip, but I had no more strength. She used her free hand to hold my hand on her throat, pushing one of my nerves with her finger as if they were forceps. The pain was so weird that I started to lose the strength in my fingers. Before I knew it, my arm was being twisted out of the bed. Soon my body began to tip over to the side without my consent, reacting to the pain. At the same time, she used my hesitation to hold my other wrist, twisting it too. To complete the quick reaction of the redhead, she threw me out of bed, rolling and pushing my ribs with her knee.

I was on the ground before I even realized it.

"I didn't want to do that, but I was running out of air," she said smiling as she pulled the dagger from the wood and sheathed it again, back to her waist.

"What do you want?" I repeated moody, still lying on the floor. My head started to hurt - it felt like it would explode if I try to move.

"There's no need to be so defensive," she said, taking something from the other side of the bed. "I'm not here to fight, I just want to talk." She handed me a potion, which I took gratefully. There was nothing more horrible than these potions, but they were great for headaches.

I drank the bitter liquid slowly, watching her closely. She said nothing, just waited in silence, sitting on the edge of the bed. Even after I had stayed silent, just looking at her for what seemed like ten minutes, she waited.

I sighed, feeling my head stop spinning. In the meantime, everything that was out of place began to fit slowly, and soon the memory fragments came together like pages of a book - with a beginning, middle and an end - that gave a new meaning to everything.

I had no reason to attack her. Actually, I was not even angry at her anymore for throwing me out of the bed. And I think she noticed my change, because soon she was reaching out for me, helping me to get back to bed. I sat by her side, leaning my elbows on my knees.

"Why did you save me?" I asked, without looking at her.

"Why wouldn't I?" She asked, crossing her arms. I'd say she was being somewhat ... cautious by the way she answered me.

"You tell me," I replied.

"Good answer," she said, scratching her head.

"Will you keep walking in circles or can we cut to the chase?"

"I could not let you die," she replied softly. Her eyes were lost somewhere in the holes of the wooden wall.

"Why?" I asked, turning my head to face her.

"I..." The redhead began, resting her chin in her hand. "I was sentenced to death, once…" she continued, her voice growing low. "For something that had to be done…"

"What happened?" I asked, surprised by her reaction. I did wonder if she was talking to me or to herself, because she was suddenly so lost in thoughts that it seemed that the Dread Wolf itself had descended to earth only to take her soul. When she finally looked at me, I had the impression that her eyes were slightly red.

"Nothing you should worry about," She replied as gently as possible, forcing a smile. "What I mean is that I was in a situation like yours – I know what it's like. And you can say it was an intervention of the Maker, of Fate, of your Creators, or just luck, whatever, but I had someone intercedefor me when I thought that everything was lost." Her hand slid from her chin to her forehead. "I thought ... just like I had a second chance, you also deserved one as well."

"Am I just compensation then? A good deed to soothe your conscience?" I asked, gritting my teeth. What was she thinking? That my life was a balance to her karma?

"Leaving someone to die ... That's not me," she replied. "I can spend the rest of the night working out pretty justifications for what happened, if it will make you feel better, but that's it."

I do not like how this woman looks at me. As she spoke, her eyes were staring at me so intently that it was like she was reading my soul. I was not intimidated that easily, but ... Definitely, there was something about that woman, something in her eyes or in her voice that made me want to believe in her. And when I realized that, I talked more than I had planned.

"I panicked," I admitted, but strangely I did not feel bad about it. Actually, there were a lot of things that I _needed_ to put out – things that I kept to myself long enough. "I woke up on a normal morning to fulfill my normal routine and suddenly, I was lying on an improvised bedroll surrounded by people I did not know. The men that I…" A lump formed in my throat as I remember.

It's been more than a week since… and it hurt so badly as if it was the first day. I thought I might be able to suppress the pain as the time passed, but instead, more and more I was convinced that Tamlen had left a huge hole within me that nothing would ever be able to fill.

I know I had to be strong for him - for both of us but it was so hard ... Pretending that I was not in love with him, pretending that... this hallucinating pain wasn't there, threatening to drag me into the endless grief every time I closed my eyes. The closest we have been in, I don't know, our whole life was a kiss that he stole from me the night before the accident. I was so scared that I pushed him against a tree and ran to my tent without saying a word. That was why I left so early that morning, to go after him. I knew that I had hurt his feelings, and I was determined to make things right between us. And now, he would never know the truth.

"The man I loved, he…" I finally completed the phrase. It was so ironic. It was the first time that had I admitted it out loud, and the one listening was a stranger. It kills me to know that if I had not been so stupid, he would never have left so upset, and probably would alive now. "He was dead. I was alone, away from my friends, from my family…. I knew I would never see them again and that terrified me.

"To seal my fate, I was dying. Everything hit me at once. I could not think, could not breathe. I needed to leave, to run somewhere, find some peace away from humans... I do not know. I needed this time alone. At first, I tried to go back home. I ran for two days and two nights without stopping until I reach the campsite, but they were no longer there.

"I had the ability to track them down, but the truth was that, deep down, I knew that the Keeper would not accept me back. It took some time for me to realize it, to accept that I was alone, on my own, but finally the reality hit me, and I was lost again. The time alone, however, helped me to find my way.

"I concluded that my only option was to return. Accept the fate that the creators drew for me and try to be the Grey Warden that the Keeper hoped I would be. I restrained the use of the medicine and I started back. According to my calculations, the remedy would last long enough for me to get to Ostagar.

"When I finally got there, all I found was death – bodies, blood and Darkspawn. I was getting worse by that time, my medicine was at its end and I did not know where to go. At first I was desperate, and I almost gave up when I started to hear things.

"It was an awful song, shrill and strident that went straight to my head. I do not know, but it was like there was _something_ talking to me. Words I did not understand, but I could tell that its transmitter was angry. I could feel the rage, you know?

"Then I realized I had to get out, away from the music, to anywhere else. Or, of course, have a slow and painful death at the hands of the Darkspawn. I knew that the forest was not clean – I had avoided several smaller groups while I was traveling back, but I would have no chance if I ran right to a whole horde. My only option was to go north, follow the road straight into the territory of the Shemlen.

"Not that I liked the idea, but it was the only choice I had. So, I ran again. It was when I found your trail - footprints and cut leaves that was not the work of those monsters. At that time, I was at the end of my strength. I was dead, and I knew it. I've even convinced myself that it was too late for salvation. And, between this crazy impulse to follow you and to sit there and die with my dignity intact… Well, you know what happened."

The redhead listened carefully to every word of my outburst, without diverting her gaze from me. When I finished, she stared at the floor for a while, probably processing everything. When she turned her attention back to me, there was no anger or reprehension in her face, but ... Compassion, perhaps?

"I will not lie to you. It's very easy to turn your back on your problems and flee in a moment of weakness, as you did," The redhead said standing. She walked around the bed and picked up something wrapped in my cloak, which rested beside a dresser. "And it takes a lot of willpower to start over after that. Somehow, I can say that I understand you." She came back to my side and sat on the bed, still holding whatever that was. "Why did you tell me this?"

"It was the least I could do after what you did for me." I whispered,

"I could tell you that I'm sorry, that I feel for your loss, but I know it will not bring you the comfort you need. Words can't do anything. Instead, know that you have my support, if you need something," She smiled weakly, "Thank you for opening up to me."

I smiled back weakly, but truly.

"Thank you for listening." I sighed. My head was still a bit heavy, my body ached and I was fighting against the urge to cry but I was feeling so _light_. I felt the weight of the world fall off my shoulders. "Now what?"

"Well..." She put the wrap on the top of my legs, lifting one end of the cloth to show me its contents.

It was my bow and my quiver.

I touched the metal piece of the bow with my fingertips, following the two thick silver lines that circled the wood until they unite to form a pair of wings – one at each end of the weapon. Tamlen loved that bow so much… The Keeper gave it to him when he became a hunter because she knew about his love of the winged creatures of the forest. She also gave him a leather archer's glovewith a similar design that he gave to me when I came of the age. I still use that glove – dark brown with a silver eagle on the back.

I was so glad that I had not lost it!

"You're free to go." She told me, and I widened my eyes in surprise. _Free?_

Seeing the confusion in my eyes, she continued, "Yes, free. Starting now, you can do whatever you want," She stood. "I don't have the right to ask for you to stay - after all, cross the country, create an army from scratch and fight a war isn't an easy task. There's a great chance it will be a one-way trip. I'm not going to force you to do anything, the choice is yours. But I won't lie to you, I'll be relieved if you choose to help us."

I remained silent for long minutes. She probably interpreted this as a sign to leave me alone, because she nodded and put her hand on my shoulder before walk towards the door.

"Wait," I called, decided. I did not have to think – My answer was already deeply carved in my soul. I think _gratitude_ was the best word to describe what I felt, and at the same time, it sounded so insufficient…. She fought for me, defended me like I was someone from her own clan. Now it was my turn to fight for her.

I know that the redhead was doing everything to contain her feelings and not to let her anxiety reach her eyes, but when she turned to me, her expression was full of expectation.

"You saved my life. I'm attached to you by a strong bond, a debt of honor that I cannot ignore. And I swear by Andruil that until my debt is paid, I will stand by your side and give my life to defend you if needed, City gi—I mean, Kallian. "

She giggled, more relaxed. "You can call me whatever you want. Anything but 'elf' is good enough." She sobered suddenly. "I'm glad you made that decision. I really am. But ..." She paused. "I don't want a bodyguard – I do prefer a friend instead."

_Friend..._

"What about Grumpy? I do not think that he will share the same feeling, much less accept your decision..."

"He doesn't have to like anything. It's _my_ decision, not his. Don't worry about it - I'll take care of him. You just have to rest and get better. A good night of sleep and tomorrow you will be like new… sort of."

"Okay." I said, putting my stuff against the wall beside the bed.

"Ah, Mahariel ..." Kallian opened the door to leave but stopped suddenly, with her hand still resting on the doorknob. There was a smile crossing her lips. "The honor is mine."

"Eilleen," I said, lying on the bed.

"Pardon?"

"My first name. Eilleen."

"It's a beautiful name," Kallian smiled. "Good night."

"Good night," With one last smile, Kallian closed the door.


	18. Tension

_**A/N: **__Hey there! First, I would like to thank for the follows and reviews for the last chapter. It was the reassurance I needed to keep writing this :)_

_There will be two more chapters left until Kallian's get back to its weekly publication. The summer break is over, which means that I will have to deal with the University issues and with my job, so my free time will be limited. I will also change the publish day to __**sathurday. **_

_That's all. Thanks for reading!_

_**EDIT: **Thanks for pointing me that error, failusnot! Hugs! :D  
_

_**.**_

_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

* * *

**Chapter 18**

Tension

.

**Kallian**

Tension.

The books translate the word _tension_ as:

a) State of nervousness and anxiety.

b) Expansive Force.

c) Situation of conflict.

By the Void, how they were wrong...

Mahariel didn't _trust _Morrigan. Morrigan couldn't _stand _to be around Alistair. Alistair didn't _dare _look at Noah. Noah hated _everybody_, but he was especially inspired to focus his peeve against _me_. And I, well, I didn't hate anyone, but I had to not only _endure_ all of this, but also _solve _all these conflicts of which I was not involved like it was _my problem_ and keep the group from _murdering_ each other.

Definitely the books were _very _wrong.

===Two days ago ===

Mahariel was already asleep when I closed the door. It was such a relief to know that she was on our side. I must confess that I was tense when I entered the room. I didn't know exactly what to say or _how_ to say it without making things worse. After all, our relationship was not one of the best, and it could be summarized as a thin silk thread, that would break at the slightest sign of friction. And I knew that once the link was broken, the connection would be lost and we would lose her forever.

In the end, everything turned out pretty well and I got more than I expected.

It was a pleasant surprise. I mean, she was scared, which was completely understandable. It was a very intense turnaround for her to bear alone in so little time– I knew what it was like. Even so, I could feel that she was a good person.

I was right in fight for her.

As much as I was happy with this new, important step, part of me was becoming increasingly concerned as I descended the stairs.

_Noah._

He acted like an arrogant jerk, grabbing my arm like a savage beast and turning his back on us. But the point is that blighted bastard was always there when we needed him. To be fair, I was not so angry with him. But I really wanted to be. Very much so.

Part of me said that I should keep him away - remove him from the group permanently. He was aggressive, unstable and always seemed to live in an internal struggle with himself. He was dangerous, not just to me and to the group, but to himself as well.

There was the other part, the irrational part of my mind, which was trying to convince me to give him a second chance. He was a good warrior, Duncan believed in him and...

Why?

It was a good question, really. What reason could be good enough to make a sane person want, with her own free will, to keep the source of her problems around?

I must be some kind of masochist.

But one thing I was certain about: regardless of my personal opinion, the situation couldn't stay that way. I had to speak with him. We needed to have a serious talk, one that would put all the cards on the table. There was too much being left unsaid, too much that could blow up in our faces at the exact wrong moment. I needed to have the air cleared, one way or another. If we couldn't agree that what was at the stake was greater than our little personal war, then this would be our last conversation.

I had all the ammunition I needed to use against him from weeks of putting up with Noah, and was ready** to** do whatever had to be done to establish our new limits when I came across a scene somewhat ... Unusual ... Upon entering the kitchen.

"I think it's about time for us to have a serious conversation and ... Noah! By the Void, put some clothes on!" I exclaimed, turning my back to him when I realized that he was wearing nothing but black underwear.

"My clothes are drying by the fire," Noah replied, not sounding bothered at all.

"Just because your clothes are wet doesn't mean you have to be naked!" I mumbled, rubbing my forehead. That was so embarrassing ...

"I'm not naked. Moreover, I doubt that this is the first time you've seen a man in his underwear, so stop being dramatic." I could _feel _him rolling his eyes. I knew that tone good enough to know it.

Of course I had seen a man in his underwear before. My cousin Soris but he was only nine. Noah didn't need to know that, however.

"It's hard to create any atmosphere of seriousness with you that way. Wear your pants, at least!" I heard him muttering loudly, before starting to move.

"Okay, ready, _happy now?_" Noah said. When I turned back to him, he was standing, arms folded, with a white sheet tied around his waist.

By the Void, why the hell did he have to be so sexy?

Noah had this rude and obstinate way about him, but it didn't mean that he was ugly. It was _quite the opposite_, actually. He was tall, with broad shoulders and strong arms. His body was so perfect that it seemed to be thoroughly hand-carved by some kind of exotic deity. His muscles, slowly rising and falling with his breathing, were in harmony with the rest of his body, in a silent and tender symphony. He wasn't just brute force; Noah was a beautiful guy, especially with that sloppy beard and his wayward, hair blowing in the wind. This wild, barbaric look was pretty appealing, somehow.

"I'm not going to have to make you put your shirt back on, am I?" I asked, trying to not stare. It was not like I was not enjoying what I was seeing, but I had to focus on this task. The situation would only become more complicated with all these _distractions._

"I thought you were enjoying the view, since you were practically eating me with your eyes," Noah raised his eyebrows, smiling victoriously as I felt my ears burn. He caught me staring and it was embarrassing as hell. I didn't need a mirror to know that my face was redder than my hair.

"I wasn't, _human_, and if you don't shut your mouth I will shut it for you," I growled, hoping that he couldn't listen to my heart pounding violently inside my chest. _Eating him with my eyes_ ... Who did he think he was?

"Respect her, Noah!" Alistair grumbled loudly. "Wear your shirt already!" I didn't notice, but he was sitting on a chair near the long table, the same way he was before. Well, except for his clenched teeth and all that tension in his shoulders.

I'd never seen him this upset.

"What? Are you trying to become a man, _Chantry boy_?" Noah said in that mocking tone that was reserved only for Alistair. Really, I was starting to _hate_ the way Noah ridiculed him. It was not like I was taking sides, but it was a great lack of respect of his part. Alistair didn't deserve to be treated like this. And, before I realized what I was doing, I was talking again, completely ignoring my initial plan.

"_He was _-" My angry protest wasn't more than a stuffy whisper from my lips, which luckily none of them seemed to notice. I bit my tongue to keep myself from speaking my mind. What? That _Alistair acted more like a man these past two days than Noah had in the last two weeks?_ That's it?

And since when had I started defending the human? This made no sense. I barely knew him. Just because he had given me a reason or two to tolerate his presence, there was no reason good enough for me to buy a fight that wasn't mine. I mean, just because he was friendly and treated me as an equal, It didn't mean...

Argh, Kallian, _shut up_! Friendly ? _Equal_? What nonsense! Since when did appearances begin to have a weight on the scales?

After that, I had to use all my strength to keep myself from hitting my head against the wall. Maybe it would give me back my sanity, but it wasn't worth the headache I've have explaining it later.

I nodded, trying to empty my mind. Reestablish my priorities. _Focus, Kallian focus._

"I'm hurting your principles, boy?" Noah pinned, putting his hands on his hips. It was good to hear his voice, because it helped me to remember everything I had to talk to him about. "Who do you think you are to talk to me like that?"

"You walked away, turned your back on us and acted like an idiot while we were working hard to do something good here," Alistair growled frowning. I was so used to his silly smiling face, you see, it was really weird. "So yes, I have the right to talk to you however I want!"

"You better stay out of this - It's a talk for grownups!" Noah growled, clenching his fists.

"I'm not going _anywhere_!" Alistair took a step forward, challenging him. Suddenly, the kitchen had become absurdly hot and small. "It's past time for someone to kick your ass so you will stop being such an arrogant jerk and wake up to reality!"

"And who will kick me? You?" Noah growled and flew at the collar of his shirt, pushing him against the wall. Alistair, meanwhile, broke away from his grasp, trying to grab him by his neck. Noah did the same, and in the space of a heartbeat, they were face to face, clutching at each other's throats. And I, little elf, put myself in the midst of giants, trying to prevent them from breaking each other's teeth.

"ENOUGH ALREADY!" I growled in my best imperative tone, placing a hand on their shoulders, trying to part them. "Stop, you two!" I looked at Noah, who was so possessed by anger that he probably didn't even hear me, and then at Alistair, whom, on the other hand, not only heard me, but was questioning me with his eyes. I nodded slowly, taking a step backwards.

At the same time that Alistair loosened his grip, Noah used the loophole to intensify his. Irritated, I pinched the skin beneath his ribs tightly.

"_I said stop_!" I repeated, twisting my hand tightly. He squirmed with my movement, dropping Alistair, and focusing all his hatred against my gracious person.

"Elf, I swear by Maker, I'll..." He said through clenched teeth.

"You'll put your _blasted shirt_ on and we'll talk. Then we can go out and you can try to kill me, but only _after_ you listen to me." I said slowly, watching him become more and more angry. Visibly upset, he unrolled the sheet of his waist and placed it around his shoulders, locking himself inside a flat and shapeless tunic.

"Happy now?" He grunted.

"Yeah, thanks," I replied, realizing something almost _magical_. He was very good at arguing and yelling, but words would apparently have a greater effect on him, much more than fighting. And here I was, thinking that I would have to speak louder than him to make him understand me... Anyway, it would be worth trying. If everything else failed, my daggers were strategically positioned and ready for any action that I may have to take.

Then, I turned to Alistair, who was quietly breathing while holding his throat.

"Alistair, please, can leave us alone?" I asked gently, looking directly into his confused eyes.

"Are you sure?" He asked, frowning, looking worried.

"Yes, this is something that we have to solve alone."

"You know best." He rested his hand on my shoulder, and his touch didn't bother me at all. It was…gentle, I guess. Sometimes I think that Alistair exists only to contradict my beliefs. He always does exactly the opposite of what I expect, and, to be honest, what surprised me the most wasn't his willingness to prove me wrong, but how good he was at sneaking through my defenses and making me feel that it wasn't wrong to be this way. That it was normal to have him around, to be close, pretending that our little universes weren't so different and distant from each other. I didn't know what to think, really. "I'll be on the stairs, if you need me." He glared at Noah one last time before leaving the kitchen.

Noah walked in circles a few times, wiping the sweat from his brow with the tip of the sheet. He breathed ten or twenty times before opening his eyes. When he did, he appeared to be calmer than he probably was. I don't know what was going on inside his head, but I could see that he was struggling to stay that way.

"You're playing leader and subordinate, elf? Because the role of loyal dog suits him very well," he said sarcastically as soon as Alistair left. I sighed deeply, biting my tongue to not reply.

If my intention was to talk, then I should keep myself in line. I had to make him understand the whole thing, and from my experience, I realized that when he was overcome with rage, he didn't even hear what we were saying. I had to make him listen. Or better yet, I had to make him _want_ to listen to me, and this was a fairly difficult task.

I think the first step would be making him see that this was a one-sided fight. I'd have to show him that I didn't intend to raise my voice. So, I grabbed a chair and dragged it to the fire.

I stay silent for a long time, just watching his features. I would have to force him to think, even if it meant I'd have to touch his pain. However, this measure was a double-edged knife, and eventually it would touch my pain as well.

But if this sacrifice was enough for me to solve this damn stalemate, so be it.

And I knew exactly what I should do.

I looked at him seriously, willing to overlook the fact that he was a rude and establish a conversation, not from human to elf or from commoner to noble, but from person to person.

I took a deep breath one last time before asking, "Why have you returned, Noah?"

* * *

_Thanks, Wintry. You're a life saver :D_


	19. Hand in Hand

**_A/N: _**_Did you all know how it's like to have more things to do than hours in the day?_

_Yep. That's it. _

_A big thanks to wintry again - the fastest and efficient beta ever lol_

_And to you, my reader, for sticking up with me! :D_

* * *

**Chapter 19**

Hand in hand

**.**

**Noah**

"You're playing leader and subordinate, elf? Because the role of loyal dog suits him very well," I said, failing to avoid the sarcasm again, but what could I do? Everything about that guy got on my nerves. He got all jumpy on me, trying to prove his stupid, useless point. Of course, he failed, that weak bastard. As much as my urge to hold my temper is strong, I am made of flesh and bone. I am not obliged to stand still while that asshole is trying to make fun of me.

She sighed, pinching her eyebrows. She was counting to ten, maybe?

When she looked again, she was serious. I honestly thought that she would pull those daggers of hers on me. To my surprise, however, she just pulled a chair to the fire and sat in silence.

Watching… Waiting ... I wondered more than once if there was something on my face, because she was staring so intently that I felt like she was reading something written on my forehead.

"Why have you returned, Noah?" She asked me slowly, with a colossal calm, as if she was asking it of a child.

"Why do you ask? Was I not supposed to return?" I asked, not knowing exactly where she was going.

"It's a simple question, Noah, really." I hadn't understood her game yet, that was true, but there was something behind her words, I'm sure of it. I could see her eyes glowing, screaming that she had something in mind. I hate games so much. I would find only later, much later, the true meaning of her look – She was studying me, considering everything that I would do, watching every sign before she could make her next move.

_Later. _For now, I was just _angry_ and wasn't thinking at all.

"If my presence bothers you so much, I can leave. Leave you all on your own. Is that what you want?" I replied, unable to avoid my aggressive tone. The buzzing in my ear never stopped - it was so loud that was hard even to hear her words.

"The door is in the same place. You know the way very well..." She replied, but I didn't realize that she was not teasing me. The buzz was so strong that I placed one of my hands over my ear, in an unconscious attempt to stop the sound.

"Are you challenging me?" I growled, walking in circles again, trying to expend the energy somehow. Otherwise, I would have to break something – or someone. For the first time, I wanted that stupid Templar near me.

"... However, you're still here." She continued, cutting me off, still in the same tone. She stared at me – looked, actually - in the same way. "Why?"

Why?

It was very hard to think straight with that maddening buzz in my ear. But little by little, some words began penetrate my mind – fragments, little pieces of will and hate coming together at the same time, fighting for a voice. Still, I was not able to form a whole sentence, mostly because I was not sure what I wanted to say.

We stayed that way for a long time – I wasn't walking in circles anymore, but I was still standing away from her, while the elf kept her eyes on me. A couple of minutes later, she sighed and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

"Duncan told me what happened," the elf said quietly, staring at the fire. I could see a hint of sadness in her eyes, which were lost in the dance of the flames. "About you and your family ..."

"He _what_?" I asked, turning my head so quickly that I felt like it would break. _He didn't have that right…! _I ran my hand through my hair, pushing it back. Duncan exposed my personal problems to a stranger ... How could he do that to me?!

There was so much anger mixed with the pain of the memories that I was not listening to anything again. I could only think of all the blood, all those bodies, the ruined faces of all those I once loved…

"What do you know? What you _think_ you know about it? Huh?!" I growled, louder than necessary. If this elf thought that just because she knew about my past, that she had the right to interfere in my life or meddle in my affairs, she was absolutely wrong. I had to leave my parents _to die_ in that blighted castle. The sad and determined face of my mother when she told me to flee still haunted my dreams.

_She knew nothing._

"I'm not here to judge you, Noah." She replied, not raising her voice. It was too hard to hear her, but I could understand a word or two of what she was saying.

"_So what?!"_ I growled, stopping in front of her. "Are you going to tell me that I have no right to compare my problems with yours? That my pain is no worse than the Dalish's? Just because you decided to play the leader it doesn't mean that I am obliged listen to your bullshit and take it as the truth-"

"I know what it's like to watch someone you love being killed before your eyes, very well," She told me, looking at me, and her words were no more than a hushed whisper, reflecting the pain of her eyes. "I cannot say that I know what you're going through, but I understand how it must be hard for you." She took a deep breath. "You want to disappear, but you don't know how. You're willing to give everything you have to wash the memories away. Your efforts to erase these angst moments is never enough, and even if you try to remember only the smiles and the happiness, it doesn't work ... It seems that every little thing we make only serves to cement the sorrow further inside our minds. Believe me, I know." She paused, probably to see if I was following her. "Indeed, I cannot imagine what would have become of me if I had lost my entire family as you lost yours. I sure would be lost. Yet, here you are, standing, and I respect this. A lot," She continued, leaning back against the chair again.

"I didn't ask to be leader, Noah. If I'm making the decisions, it's because someone has to do it. I'm not a soldier - I'm just a Scrapper. I don't know shit about teamwork or how I was supposed to act in the middle of the war. I always fought all my battles alone. And this - the new reality, new responsibilities – everything is crazy and scary. And you know what, Noah? I never asked for any of it. I just wanna go home. "

I sat on the floor, feeling my legs failing. The elf had just put into words much of what I felt in the last few days but could never name properly. All I could do was lower my head, unarmed, and wipe the sweat of my forehead with the tip of the sheet. She kept silent, waiting for me to absorb her words completely. I was no longer consumed by the blind anger that forced me to always break something to keep my head from exploding. I could heard her words clearly now, as if she was speaking directly to my soul.

"Why don't you go home then?" I whispered, looking at her again. She looked tired, aged ten years or more. I wonder if this was how the others see me...

Maybe that was why my guard had dropped so suddenly: I was seeing who she was behind the mask of sobriety she always wore, identifying myself more and more with her own pain, even knowing nothing about it. They were not mere empty words of consolation - it was like her personal outflow.

"If I don't take this, who will?" She let out humorless laugh. "We're elves. _Nobody cares_. If war reaches the gates of Denerim, we would be the first to be left behind. I wish I could say I'd take everyone and leave Ferelden – flee from the Blight - but with which money would I do that? Or with what weapons? They're not experienced soldiers; they're only survivors. This war is not for them. They would be massacred, no doubt about this. I cannot let that happen."

"I can't understand. Why are you sacrificing yourself to fight the war of people who would _never_ do the same for you?" I asked, and she didn't take long to answer me.

"I don't expect anyone to do anything for me," she replied, staring at the ceiling. "The truth is that I couldn't sleep at night if I run now. Or if I just take my father and my cousins and leave the country. I mean, the Alienage is a cursed land, but it's also my home. They are my family. Good part of them helped me at some point in my life. I don't think I could leave everything behind so easily…" She shook her head, more to herself than to me. "I would be denying who I am."

I knew very well what that feels like.

"Elf, can you answer me one thing, honestly?"

"Go ahead." She looked back at me. I felt exposed, unable to lift my defenses again. But strangely it didn't bother me as it should.

"Do you really believe that you, alone, will be able to make a difference in all of this? Really?"

"If one person can ruin the life of another, cause irreparable damage and leave scars that will never heal completely, why can't someone have the same effect, but for good?" She gave a long sigh, and for a moment I saw a flash of anger in her eyes. I would recognize that sign anywhere – it was something so familiar to me, like a red aura that emanated from her body that I could touch with tip of my fingers, if I wanted.

"Besides," she continued, scratching her head. "It's not like a one person job. We started this whole thing with three people, and now we're five. If we could keep mobilizing people, we can make a difference, I know it."

"These are beautiful words, worthy of a good romance. Do you really believe that?" I asked, squinting. She laughed without humor again.

"I _have_ to believe. If not, I will have nothing." She sank her head back, closing her eyes. "Today, when I think of Ferelden, I imagine a leaky boat, condemned to sink into the mysterious water of the oblivion. And we are spread throughout this boat. I would say that Morrigan would be at the top of the tallest mast, ready to vanish at the first sign of danger. Mahariel and Alistair, maybe randomly scattered through the rooms or along the deck. If you asked me where I think you would be, Noah, I'd say you're in the engine room - the deepest place of the ship, with water up to your knees.

"We have two options: The first would be to leave everything as it is and let the boat get sucked into the depths of the nothing. Morrigan would be far away when it happened and I think Alistair and Mahariel would swim to safety without any problem. I know I_'d swim_ to the shore, for sure. What about you, Noah? Would you die drowned or would you swim? I don't know.

"The point is that we can bring this boat to safety. But for this, I believe that everyone has to take the oars and use all their strength to take it back to the coast. _Everyone_. So, I need to know if you're in or not. And for you to have that answer, you have to reply to my first question: _why are you here_? You don't need to tell me – If you could answer this for yourself it will be enough for now.

"All I need to know is what you're planning to do, because from now on, there can be no more middle terms. Either you're in it or not. Simple as that. Look, I'm not asking you to agree with me on everything, because that would be impossible. I'm not even asking you to _like_ me, but we can't keep flying at each other's throat every time we disagree on something. I cannot be worried about breaking you and Alistair apart all the time or go to sleep at night wondering if you will be there in the morning. Can you understand where I'm going? "

"You don't understand because you defend that jerk. I _hate _him," I growled, not with anger but with indignation. Am I the only one who sees that he is not trustworthy?

"I don't like humans, and I _hate_ mages," she told me, and I could see the flash of hatred back in her eyes, stronger than before. "I have reasons much greater for this hate than pure annoyance, as it seemed to be your case. However, you don't see me putting a knife at Alistair's neck or trying to turn Morrigan into a Tranquil every time they breathe, right?"

"You couldn't turn the witch into Tranquil even if you wanted to," I replied, giving a small smile at the thought. That apostate would turn her into mushroom for sure.

The elf slapped her forehead, shaking her head in disapproval. "You know what I mean."

"I do," I said, getting serious again.

"So?"

"I cannot promise you anything. If the boy provokes me, I'll break every bone in his body with or without your approval," I replied, rude, but sincere. "If you want to be in charge, I don't care. Just don't be all bossy on me, and we will not have problems. This is all I can give you."

"It's fair. Not the ideal, though, but it's fair." She said more relaxed. She rose from the chair, stretching her arms slightly. "So I think we're done."

"Who are you, elf?" I asked, starting to get suspicious.

The way she spoke, all the mysteries about her past, those marks of torture she always tries to hide and the uncanny ability to feel magic ... My instincts told me that there was more about her than meets the eye, and that she hadn't told me everything. And my instinct _never_ failed.

"Pardon?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.

"You're not a normal person. Who are you, really?" I saw her take a deep breath again, closing her eyes with her head up.

"I'm just someone who has lived too much." She remained thoughtful, but not for long enough for me to say something. In fact, by her weary expression I knew this would be the only answer I would get. It didn't ease my senses, especially because she didn't appeared to be older than me, but I would have to accept that for now. "Rest well, Noah. If Mahariel gets better, we will leave in the early hours of the morning. Lothering is not far." She said, walking toward the door. She paused before leaving, looking at me one last time. "Good night."

"The answer to your question," I said, before her silhouette could disappear into the dark corridor. "It's because I don't have anywhere else to go." I replied. I saw her shadow nodding slowly a couple of times before disappearing from my view.

What I didn't say and I will ever do so, is they were all that I had. Like it or not, they were my family now. And I had to protect them at any cost. So, there was nothing left for me now but to stay beside that elf and pray for the Maker to have mercy on us.

* * *

Kallian walked down the corridor, heading for the door of the hut. She needed air - even if it meant staying in the rain. Her idea of trying to reach a consensus with Noah using words may have worked, but she ended up talking more than she intended. Even though she didn't reveal any details, the wound was so alive within her heart, that just the mention her losses were enough to end her peace.

She closed herself to the death of her mother and her brother in such a way that the subject itself has become a kind of taboo - something she refused so much to talk about that it became a prohibited topic within her family. Whenever her cousins, her father or anyone else tried to question her, she always avoided everything, ignoring it or leaving the place immediately. Her escape itself was like a natural defense that her mind had created, so she could avoid the suffering.

The truth was that she never got over what happened that fateful day - the day when reality showed its true face, robbing of her innocence and her dreams, removing the ground from under her feet and forcing her to become an adult too earlier, with responsibilities and worries that no child was supposed to carry.

The day her life turned upside down.

She was about to open the door when Alistair called for her.

"Hey, where are you going?" He asked still sitting on one of the steps of the stairs, leaning against the wall.

"I need to think," Kallian replied, still with her hand on the doorknob.

"It's raining a lot out there," he said, stretching. The last traces of tension of his body were dissipated, as he realized that there was no trace of struggle in the little elf. His own neck, however, still had the red mark of Noah's hand lingering on his skin. "You can think inside, where it's warm and dry. The stairs is a great place for that. I know that it seems to be cold and hard, but after a while you realize that ... Well, that it's really cold and hard, but even so, it's better than outside!" He smiled.

Kallian could not help herself and smiled back, even if weakly. "The stairs seems a great option indeed, but I need to think _alone_,"

"Okay, I'll leave then," he replied, getting quickly to his feet.

She sighed partially defeated, dropping the knob and walking toward the Templar. She sat a few steps up from where he stood, motioning for him to sit.

"Your stairs, your rules. Besides, what are you doing here?"

"I said I'd be around if you needed me," he said, sitting down again.

Kallian eyes widened in surprise. So he was really serious about that?

"I know that I have no credits," she began, starting to get slightly annoyed. "But I said that I know how to take care of myself. I don't need you babysitting me all the time," she replied, a little more rude than necessary. She knew she had promised to start over with him, but she hadn't discovered the formula for oblivion yet – she still had a few doubts about him.

"I know you can take care of yourself," he said, lowering his head. "But that does not mean you have to put yourself in danger just to prove it."

"If you have not noticed yet, I was just _talking_ to him," she said, frowning. "And I don't want to prove anything to anyone, I-"

"Calm down Kallian, I don't want to tease you or anything. There's no need to get all defensive like this." Alistair turned to her with a hurt expression, making her wonder if she wasn't throwing the indignation at him that she should have dumped on Noah.

"Look," he continued, "That man is dangerous. If I stayed around is because I was worried if he would treat you the same he did me. But if it bothers you that much, I can stay away next time."

"And why do you care about that?" She asked, leaning against the wall just as he had done before.

"I just don't want him to hurt you," he confessed, even though he didn't know exactly why of all this concern. He only knew that the idea of seeing her being attacked by Noah was something he could never accept.

"Why?" She asked. Actually, it was the first and only thing that came to her mind. She had even forgotten that she was starting to get mad at him.

"You defended me, I defended you ... It's what the Grey Wardens do - they take care of each other," he said, getting slightly annoyed for sounding like an obligation. He did _care_ about her, more than he expected to feel. The fact that she was a Warden like him didn't matter at all – he would still break Noah's face if he dared to touch her. Kallian remembered Duncan's speech about that 'brother and sister' thing, but she was more concerned about his words. _His actions_. Everything was slowly feeding the trust she was starting to feel towards him.

Alistair cleared his throat, embarrassed but decided to speak his mind. After all, if he wanted to approach her, he should be honest.

"The truth is that you seem to be a good person. And don't forget the suicidal part. Now that I think about it, I guess it's part of the fun of being around you – saving your life and such."

"Oh, you're _soooo_ _fun_. I think my jaw will drop for laughing so much." She rolled her eyes, watching his lopsided smile crossing his lips.

"You should see your face right now." He smiled, amused by the fact that she was visibly struggling to keep her serious expression.

"I know my face very well," She replied nonchalantly.

"Oh, come on, don't be so stubborn and play with me!" He smiled, poking the side of her head with his finger repetitively until her scowl turned out in a playful smile and her cute giggle could finally fill his ears once more. Kallian didn't laugh much - he could count with one hand how many times it had happened since they met. Even so, it turned out to be one of his favorite things about her - It was pure and honest, a rare gift in this chaotic world.

"Right, stop it!" She ordered softly, with trails of her giggle still lingering in her voice. The little elf was moving back and forth, trying to get her head away from his finger, but he was faster. She was not willing to give up, though – in a swift motion, she managed to grab his hand in the air.

His _bare_ hand.

She was touching his hand for the first time. It was so warm and soft, despite the callus here and there because of the sword handling. She had some as well, so it wasn't a problem at all. It was big, too. Bigger than hers, at least. And the most confusing detail ever was how slowly and gently his fingers wrapped slightly around her hand. The sensation was different from anything she'd ever felt. She knew that it was stupid to make all this fuss over such a little thing, but it was the first time that a human touched her and it didn't hurt. Quite the opposite, actually: _it felt good_.

Kallian's first reaction was to break from his "grip", but strangely she didn't manage to find a way to make her hand work. Maybe the reason was her heart was pounding faster inside her chest in each moment, or the slight warmth spreading through her cheeks… She didn't know.

"I know that you're suspicious of me," He whispered, looking at their hands together. "But…" He lowered his hand slowly, loosening the grip just a little bit, to give her a chance to break free from it if she wanted. A small smile crossed his lips when she didn't move. "I think we get along sometimes." He whispered. "You even laugh at my jokes!" He chuckled, looking into her eyes, more than satisfied that she was staring at him so intently, drinking every word as if it was the air that her lungs craved to live. "What I want to say is that you don't need to do these dangerous things alone. You can count on me, you know that."

_Always. _

She smiled, surprised by his words once again. She searched for any sign of hesitation in his eyes, anything that could betray him, but there was nothing to be found there – only his caramel eyes and that cute lopsided smile of his. Bested by this new feeling, she decided to accept his words as true.

"An alliance, you say?" She asked, trying to understand what he really meant with all of this. As much as something inside her kept saying that his intentions might be good, it was still hard to believe that a human wished to get along with her.

Alistair scratched his nape in response.

"It can work like that, although it wasn't exactly what I meant…." he replied, disappointed that she had 'rejected' his friendship so easily. Well, maybe she didn't intend to do so, but he wasn't exactly clear enough. At least, not clear enough for _her_. But for someone who sleeps with one eye open like her, an alliance would be the nearest signal of trust that he would have, at least for now.

"Bad alliances can sink you, Warden," Morrigan said at the top of the stairs, startling them both. Alistair slapped his forehead, irritated by the interruption. _Just now that the things were finally going somewhere!_

"Nobody called you here, witch." He growled between his teeth.

"As her personal guide, it's my duty to warn her about the ways that can take her to her own doom. If a downfall is your goal, I must inform you that a meeting with the horde would be more appropriate. And, of course, it would less painful for your ears." Morrigan pointed to Alistair, grinning victoriously.

Kallian took a deep breath before answering, "Thank you for let us know that you're still with us, Morrigan. For a moment I had almost forgotten you and all your subtlety," she replied, rolling her eyes.

"The pleasure is mine. So what did I miss?" She asked, leaning in a provocative way against the banister, leaving her neckline almost fully exposed. Realizing her intentions, Alistair looked away, staring at his own feet. It was not like he hadn't reason enough to stare - after all, Morrigan was a beautiful woman who put all her sensuality in every little move. He just didn't wish to give her reasons for tease him later.

"I'm not sure if I understand the question," Kallian replied, frowning.

"I heard your _new ally here_ yelling. Then that sexy beast shouted. Then you raised your voice, too. Some dishes fell, and then the silence reigned," Morrigan replied, leaning her body further forward, exposing even more skin. "I must confess that I was curious, but I was in my bathtub, in the middle of a relaxing hot bath, and it would be a shame to get out because of that."

"Wait ... Do we have a bathtub?" Alistair asked, surprised. He did not remember having seen one while he was searching the house.

"Yes, _I _have one in _my room_. Why do you think I chose it?" She replied, victorious again.

_Wretched bitch_, both thought, but none of them said it aloud.

"Anyway, I came down hoping to see the sexy beast pummeling Alistair," Morrigan added, pointing to the red mark on the Templar's neck.

"Nobody hit anyone, Morrigan," Kallian replied all grumpy. The idea of the monopoly of the bathtub still bothered her.

"Really? No punch?" Morrigan asked.

"Nope," Kallian replied.

"Blood?"

"Nope,"

"Scratches?"

"No, Morrigan, I told they didn't fight," Kallian said, losing her patience.

"Ah, but tis a shame ," Morrigan replied disappointed, starting to walk back to her room.

"Even if this had happened and we had killed each other, you would not even bother to come down and see what was going on, right?"

"No," Morrigan answered promptly, making Kallian immediately regret of opening her mouth. "But it would be very pleasant to watch," she said before slamming the door.

Kallian and Alistair looked at each other, stunned by what had just happened.

"By the Maker ...!" Alistair sighed.

"By the Void ...!" Kallian whispered simultaneously. They looked at each other, surprised by their similar reaction and, as they both knew that Morrigan had been serious, they started laughing.

Kallian looked at the Templar - he laughed like a child, with such a happy smile that it was impossible not to smile too. It was contagious. Talking with him was so easy. It was a different atmosphere - there was no tension, sarcasm or lines to be read, like it was with everyone else. She didn't have to think too hard to talk, or spend time choosing the right words – they just came to her. It was natural. And he even made her laugh once in a while. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she was starting to enjoy having that human around.

Through the night they talked about nothing specific – other wardens, something about a special tunic under his pillow or his incomplete Templar training. They didn't mentioned their previous talk – the momentum was long gone. Their hands, however, stayed together all the time, building up their trust more than any words could do.

* * *

_Please, review if you have time! I would love to know your thoughts :D_

_The magic box approves (+50)!_


	20. Da'shal

_**A/N:**__ Hey there readers! I hope everything is okay :)_

_From now on, our meetings will be every Sathurday (or Sunday, if somethings goes wrong.)_

_My special thanks for the follows/Faves again - this kind of thing fills my heart with happiness :D_

_Please, leave a review if you're liking it. I don't bite, really :D_

_**.**_

_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

* * *

**Chapter 20**

Da'shal

.

**=== In the morning before ===**

**.**

"What is _she_ doing here?" Mahariel asked aiming her bow ,ready to shoot at the first sign of danger from the witch. Morrigan, despite being in the crosshair of the Dalish, didn't seem bothered at all. In fact, she leaned against the fence of the abandoned hut, apparently nonchalant toward the blond hunter's threat..

"Morrigan is our guide," Kallian replied, with her hands raised defensively between the two. "She is helping us."

"Na'falon dar Asha'belannar'len!" Mahariel said, visibly upset. However, none of them seemed to understand a word.

"Okay ..." Kallian said slowly, raising her hand up to her hair and lowering her head, trying to figure out what just happened.

"What did she say?" Alistair asked, wearing his best puzzled expression on his face.

"I have no idea." Kallian replied, glancing a pleading look at the Dalish, hoping that she would translate whatever she had said.

"You're an _elf._ You were supposed to know about this stuff," Noah muttered, crossing his arms against his broken chest plate.

Kallian grumbled something barely audible, rolling her eyes.

"She is the daughter of the Witch of the Wilds!" Mahariel exclaimed, pulling further the string of her bow. "There's no Dalish that doesn't know her tales, and the atrocities she and her daughter have committed! They say she is not even from this world!"

"People talk a lot of things, such as the immortality of the Elvhen or that the Maker exists," Morrigan replied, starting to walk away from the hut toward the road. "Fairy tales seems to be quite popular these days."

"Oh, you son of-" Mahariel exclaimed, ready to shot, when Kallian threw herself between them, right in front of her arrow.

"Wait, wait, wait, _wait_!" Kallian said, holding her breath. "Mahariel… Please, she is our best choice. I explained our situation to you earlier - we cannot choose allies," She whispered, hoping she would stop targeting Morrigan.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Da'shal," Mahariel said, replacing her bow to her back, under her brown cloak.

"Me too," the little elf whispered, sighing, and relieved at being able to avoid the conflict. Oh, and avoiding the arrow in her head had been a good thing, too. Kallian wasn't sure what to call Mahariel - she had no idea if her name had been given to her in confidence. Since she'd awakened, Eilleen began to call her Da'shal. Kallian knew that '_da_' was the Dalish word for small, so she could only think that 'shal' was some kind of joke, even considering the fact that she was always serious. Mahariel wasn't using the same mocking tone that she used when she called her 'city girl', but even with that small hint that the new nickname may be not what it seemed to be, Kallian thought it was better to keep her doubt to herself.

The group walked for hours, following the main road. They were all silent, lost in their own worlds, too busy contemplating their own problems to socialize with each other.

Morrigan was not leading the group anymore - Noah took the lead, and was walking a few steps ahead of the others. Neither of them seemed uncomfortable with this new situation, or with how close they were from each other. Actually, Morrigan was enjoying her new position, which allowed her to _admire_ him from another angle. The 'Sexy Beast', as she was calling Noah, was exactly the kind of man she very often used to seduce while she was bored, wandering in the Wilds - Strong, beautiful, wild...

She constantly wondered if he was as good in bed as his appearance told her.

Mahariel remained behind everyone, diverting her attention between Noah and Morrigan. It was difficult to decide which of the two inspired more distrust in the hunter - The daughter of Asha'Belannar or the shemlen that suggested her death. Anyway, at the same time that she wanted distance, she also wanted to keep them where her eyes could watch them, to be sure that they wouldn't bring her more problems.

Noah hadn't said a word to her since that day. _Survive_, he said, _and throw it at my face later._

It was very easy to say that just to relieve his conscious of his filthy sins, or all his wrong choices. _Hypocrite_, she thought.

She still had a hard time in understanding how Kallian could walk so close to shemlens so naturally.

Alistair was silently walking just a few steps behind Kallian. Since the day before, he was apprehensive about letting the little elf and Noah alone. He witnessed two intense discussions between the two, and both times, he thought they would kill each other. Just thinking about the idea, his stomach twisted violently.

He knew that couldn't push him away from her, so the only thing he could do was stay close to her, to make sure that no one would hurt the little elf.

Kallian didn't seem to notice what was happening around her. Her eyes wandered from the darkest clouds of the greyish sky to the farthest trees along the road, focusing on everything and nothing, at the same time. At first, Alistair thought she was only being cautious, alert to what was happening around them. But when her eyes fixed on the horizon, looking for anything specific, he realized something was wrong. And he'd give anything to know what she was thinking.

The little redhead didn't notice the intense gaze of the Templar in her direction.

In fact, her eyes were doing a silently sweep through the place, but it wasn't enemies she sought. For days she has been looking for a sign, anything that could denounce the arrival of what she feared most. But everything was very quiet.

_Too quiet_.

Since its "peaceful" threat after the fall of Ostagar, the Lion hadn't show its face again. The nights were quiet, without dreams or nightmares, empty as the Void itself. It was as if, for a moment, she was normal again.

_Normal…_

She'd forgot the meaning of this word long ago. Even if the curse could be broken, she doubted that her life would return to what it was. Her soul was tormented enough, corrupted enough to possibly know what the hell _normal _meant. She heard strange sounds in the dark of the night, she saw creepy figures in the light of the day and not even in the silent refuge of her mind she was completely alone.

No one could possible heal completely from all that damage. No one could exorcise so many ghosts without fracturing her own mind in the process. No one could possibly _understand _what it was like to feel so lost, living in constant craving to awaken from a never ending vortex of disturbing dreams and crushing nightmares…

If she wasn't so _tied _to life… If the choice was truly hers…

Kallian pushed away those thoughts. Long time ago, she learned that "If"s were as good as an empty bottle of water – unless you could actually fill it with something consistent, it will be only a useless flask of unclaimed opportunities. All she knew was that the lion was around, silently pulling the strings of his game. It was inevitable to not look twice at every shadow that she passed through, or check carefully every strange noise she heard.

She felt trapped inside a maze of unknown threats that increased at every rustle of the leaves. She was beginning to see its despicable face even in the clouds.

_I'm getting paranoid_, she thought, looking at the sun, which shone in the midst of sky. _I don't know how much longer I can take it..._

Distracted, she didn't notice the root standing in her way and only realized it when she stumbled, feeling the ground disappearing from under her feet. Instead of landing on the hard ground, however, she felt a strong arm wrapping around her waist, preventing her from falling.

"Oops, I got you!" Alistair said, smiling. Realizing that she was in the arms of the Templar, with his body so close to hers, her first reaction was to push him away. How dare he to touch her? _Shems, in the end, they are all the same, _she thought.

But then she noticed that even though his hands were still on her stomach, they hadn't wandered to inappropriate places. How he kept a distance, however small, between their bodies, and especially how he didn't do more than it was needed to put her back up.

When she frowned at him, confused by this unexpected situation, Alistair just smiled back.

It was so much easier when she had to deal with 'classic' humans that only spread chaos with their ulterior motives and their iniquities. There wasn't much to do other than unsheathe her daggers and put them back into their place. Then Alistair crossed her path, making her constantly question her beliefs. It was easy to travel with him, but at the same time, intriguing. He very often let her speechless with his protective actions.

It was the noise of a bowstring stretching that made Kallian finally realizes what was happening around her: The Dalish was pointing an arrow against Alistair's head.

"Get your hands off her," said Mahariel seriously, further increasing the tension on the line from her bow.

The Templar, not knowing what to do, raised his hands in a peace sign, but that didn't make her change her mind.

"Alright, Mahariel," Kallian said, imitating the gesture of Alistair. "Could you please lower your bow...?"

The Dalish let out a disapproving roar through her throat, but she kept her bow still aiming toward the Templar with a sharp look on her face. Frightened, he gulped, sustaining her gaze until she simply turned away, resuming her walking. She kept a safe distance from Morrigan and Noah, who, incidentally, didn't bother with little confusion and were well ahead of others.

Kallian sighed deeply, pressing her temple with her fingertips. Again, she had to fight the urge to hit her head against a tree. At each step, things got more and more difficult. Just the thought that they had just begun their journey already made her insides ache. If it was hard to keep the group out of trouble now, imagine the pandemonium that it would be when the real battles began?

"What… was… that?" Alistair whispered to the redhead when they resumed their walk.

Kallian looked at him from the corner of her eyes, still holding her temple. Her first impulse was to reply that she had no idea, but something clicked in her brain before she could open her mouth. She realized that Mahariel was serious about her need to pay her debt, even against her protests. Although grateful for the concern, she didn't want a slave, that would risk her life because she felt obliged to do so.

She meant it when she said she wanted no bodyguards.

"I think ..." The redhead began, further squeezing her temple. "She was trying to defend me..."

"If she did this to me, when I was just trying to help, I can't imagine what she would do with Noah ..." Alistair said, grimacing. "This crazy girl will end up killing him..."

Kallian let out a muffled laugh, covering her mouth with her hand. "Ah, she will for sure."

"I can hear you, Shemlen." Mahariel growled, slightly ahead of them. Alistair froze, preparing psychologically to be her target again.

"Elves and their damn sensitive ears," he muttered, letting out a breath that he didn't know that he was holding when he realized that her threat would not leave her words.

Kallian stopped and crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes to look at him. "Seriously, Alistair?"

At first he didn't understand her reaction, turning his head to the side trying to remember what he had spoken to justify her scowl. When his eyes fell on the redhead pointy ears, his eyes widened.

_Oops_, he thought.

"Look, that's not what I meant, I ..."

"If I were you I'd _shut up_," Noah growled, giving them a competent look of "Don't make me go there" that made Kallian roll her eyes.

Defeated and in a clear minority, the Templar sighed, resuming his walk staring at the ground, feeling like the worse person in the world. Kallian, on the other hand, opened an amused smile on her face.

"Hey," she whispered to the Templar, walking beside him. Seeing the teasing expression on the little elf's face, he pouted discreetly, frowning in an expression of repressed grief.

"What's so funny?" He whispered back, feeling a little betrayed.

"You," she replied flatly, taking her backpack from her back. He hoped so much that she would not join forces with Noah against him, not after everything they'd been through together. Maker have mercy, he _defended_ her… Why did she turn against him now?

"Oh, really?," he muttered under his breath as he watched the elf searching something in her stuff.

"You took it seriously." Kallian stated, grabbing an apple and putting her backpack back on her back. "The ear stuff."

"Of course I did! You two conspiring against m…. Ears?" He asked, confused. "You're not talking about…? I thought you were…"

The elf took a big bite of the apple before answering, "You know that you're not making any sense, don't you?"

"I thought you were speaking about what he did." Alistair pointed at Noah.

"And why in the Void would I be speaking about him?" She replied, putting her hand over her face trying to cover her full mouth.

"I just thought ..." Alistair laughed, feeling a fool for being upset so easily. Of course she wouldn't betray him – she wasn't like Noah, not even a bit. "Forget about it."

"You're thinking too much," She said before biting her apple again.

"Maybe…" He said, scratching his nape. "So, about the ears…"

"I didn't take it seriously," she said, pausing to swallow. If it was another situation, she would be angry. But considering the spontaneity and innocence that he said that, mixed with all the confusion that followed, it was impossible to not take it lightly. Besides, she was having so much fun watching how he stumbled over his nervous words, that being angry at him sounded just as stupid as trying to catch the air with her hands. "Apple?" She offered the fruit to him.

He shook his head, more embarrassed than ever. Apparently she was not angry with him, but that didn't mean he didn't have to apologize. Try at least.

"Look, I'm sor-"

"Thank you," said Kallian, biting another piece of apple.

"I know I've been a ... What?" He said, stumbling over the words again. Kallian giggled, watching his puzzled expression.

"For the help. The root, the stumbling… remember?"

"So easily? No whining about how everything was under control and that you didn't need my help?" He asked skeptically, his eyes widening slightly.

"That can be easily arranged," She raised an eyebrow.

He chuckled, "I take back what I said."

They looked at each other in silence. Definitely having her around was a relief. Having someone to talk to, someone who would not criticizing or humiliating him all the time or threaten him every time he opened his mouth… She was probably the only reason that kept him from freaking out.

Her friendship was what kept him walking.

"Elf, I liked you so much more when you kept your mouth shut," Noah muttered.

"I also prefer you silent, Grumpy," Kallian replied, showing her tongue to Noah's back.

Alistair smiled again. More than relieved, he was grateful for the company of the sharp-tongued little elf.

* * *

_**Note**: Da'shal means "Little protector" in Dalish._


	21. Six

_**A/N: **__It seems that I'm late again... At least the chapter is longer this time :)_

_Thanks for the faves/follows! You guys rock! :D_

_**.**_

_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

* * *

**Chapter 21**

Six

.

**Kallian**

And that's how I got here - lying on the cold ground near the fire with rocks poking my back and sand creeping inside my clothes. According to Noah, we were about a half day from Lothering, and I had no words to express my anxiety because of this. Technically we were supposed to reach our objective the morning before, but because of minor setbacks here and there, sporadic clashes and more turns that I'm able to count, we lost almost an entire day. I never craved to be back in a city as much as I did now. Also, I never thought I'd miss my bed so damn much.

I'm not complaining - I usually adapt myself very well to adverse situations, but we'd achieved a critical stage already: We were sleeping on the cold ground, with only a few clothes - in Noah's case, he only had one set, which he was wearing at this exact moment. It was past time for him to throw that stuff away, as well as his cracked armor. We were also down to the last of our supplies, the water was scarce, and every other trouble you can imagine. And besides, I needed a bath.

I wasn't completely uncomfortable at all – I was using one of the decent sheets that I'd found in the abandoned hut as a pillow, and it was serving me very well. Well, half of it was. As the sheet was pretty big, I cut it in half and gave one of them to Alistair, who had no extra clothes either. He was so grateful that it was hard to believe his exaggerated happiness was only because a piece of old cloth.

This was our third night after leaving the hut and I didn't have to look around to know that we had separated into four different camps. Alistair and I were the only two together – everyone else kept their distance, from us and from each other. I sighed heavily at that thought.

_Temperamental people._

Honestly, I believe Mahariel only had moved away from the fire because Alistair was lying near me, more specifically on the opposite side of where I was. She didn't trust him, or anyone else, and I don't blame her for that.

She trusted me though. We don't talk that much - She didn't give many openings to reach her, and honestly I still had some difficult speaking with her. Although she swore her loyalty and everything, I could still feel that thin line between us, and it wasn't in my plans to break it with any immature decision. Maybe later, when she gets used to us and realizes that it could be worse.

I sighed, lying on the ground more slovenly. I could feel the grass brushing against my heels, while the wind caressed my bare feet. I never used to take off my armor to sleep, just to be safe, but today I allowed myself to relax a bit more, removing my boots, clamps and what was left of my shoulder pads.

My leather needed some fixing, too.

Despite our personal chaos, the sky was completely clear, tinted with such a deep and bright blue that it looked like a painting, foreign to out mortal problems. It was like there were more stars than I had ever seen, and even the waning moon seemed bigger. It was a true blessing, so mesmerizing that I allowed myself to be carried away by its magic, emptying my mind completely for the first time in a very, very long while.

My right hand raised on its own, drawing an imaginary line through the stars and connecting them to the moon, as if I could actually touch them with my fingertips.

The sky was the only connection I had with my family.

The only certainty I had was that, if they were looking up right now, we'd be looking at the same moon… the same stars…. the same blue immensity, so terrible and yet so beautiful…

If I could touch the moon, would I be able to reach them? Would I be able to fill part of this void in my chest and make the pain stop?

I'd never felt so alone and helpless as I felt now.

I tried to trick my own mind several times - pretending to convince myself that, somewhere among the stars, my mother or my brother would be there, watching over me, trying to protect me. It was a silly thought, but it calmed my heart a little. Yet, after going through everything, it was hard to even believe that it was possible for the soul to go somewhere after the body dies. The Fade was a place so terrible that I was starting to believe that it was not a world of spirits as they say, but a land of demons, where only chaos and destruction reigned.

Just the thought of their minds wandering eternally in that _hell_ ... To be honest, I never thought beyond that point - I prefer to think that I was the only one fated to wander in the dark confines of despair. I wouldn't be able to be at peace with myself if I knew that, besides being responsible for their deaths, I also had condemned them to live under the same curse that I lived.

Suddenly, breathing became such a hard task…

You know, sometimes I think that I can understand those who prefer to believe in the Chantry's fairy tale - Maker, Heaven, Eternal Salvation ... The reality was too cruel. I don't think that everyone would have guts to withstanding the truth.

I don't blame them - I think that I, myself would choose ignorance, if I was given the choice.

I sighed again, trying to clear my mind once more and reach that glimpse of peace that I felt a while ago, but I couldn't. I had a whirlwind of thoughts bombarding my mind, and my little momentum was gone.

* * *

Kallian had been with her hand raised for some time now, without stirring. Alistair was lying over his dear sheet-pillow on the other side of the fire, staring at her with curiosity. What was she thinking right now? She was not someone easy to understand, but it didn't take much for him to know that something was wrong.

When her stomach growled loudly, he found the perfect loophole to start a conversation.

"Hungry?" He asked, leaning up on his elbow.

"No," Kallian lied, frowning deeply. She didn't know the reason, but she was feeling very hungry lately. The supplies she received from Flemeth should have lasted at least one week with her ministrations, but they're already running out. There was only one apple and two crusty breads, and considering the possible delays they could suffer, she couldn't take the risk. Even if it meant that she would spend the whole night hungry.

Her stomach growled again, exposing her lie. "Fine, Fine… I am." She admitted, feeling a slight burning over her cheeks. "I don't know what is happening. I always controlled my hunger very well - I never ate more than the necessary. But lately it seems like there's a hole in my stomach ..."

Alistair laughed. "Now you're officially a Grey Warden!"

"The excessive appetite is the taint's fault?" she asked puzzled, rolling over onto her side and resting her head on her palm.

"It's one of the changes." He smiled.

"Anything else I should know?"

"Besides being able to feel the Darkspawn and the increase in our appetite? Well, we also have nightmares," Alistair said, grimacing.

"Nightmares?"

"Yes, the Wardens dream about the Darkspawn. It's like some sort of vision - we can feel them and they can feel us, too. It's one of the consequences of our connection." He sat up, sighing heavily. "They are very common in the beginning - I had terrible nightmares in my Joining. Eventually, however, we may be able to block them."

"How?" She asked, sitting up suddenly interested in his words. If there was a way to block the nightmares or at least a way to isolate her mind from Fade, she might be able to get rid of the Lion once and for all. She tried to not let her expectations take control of her, but wasn't able to completely restrain her excitement. Her heart was filled with hope, not seen in a long time.

"I don't know…" He laughed embarrassed to see her expression crumble. "I still cannot do that."

Kallian forced a smile, trying to ensure that there was no problem, but she was not very convincing. Another opportunity slipped through her fingers. As much as she tried to convince herself that anything but the blood of that blighted mage would be an illusion, a false sense of peace and freedom, she couldn't stop her heart for beating wildly at each new glimpse of hope.

She sighed, exhausted. Each night was a different fight, an endless war where winning meant always losing. _Every one of them_. Her soul gained one more day to live, but her mind and body were being slowly corrupted, getting closer and closer to her limits.

Sometimes she wondered why she was still fighting.

"Useless," Noah muttered near them, making Alistair nearly jump. He was standing near the fire, staring idly at them. This topic was of interest to Noah. Since his Joining, he had some strange dreams. A few, yes, but intriguing enough to provoke his curiosity. "At least do you know the meaning of the dragon that was with the Darkspawn?"

"Dragon?" Alistair asked, thinking a bit before continuing. "It must be the Archdemon. It's their leader, and its presence is what makes us be sure that it's really Blight."

"It's about time you were useful," Noah muttered, getting suddenly thoughtful. If the dragon of his dreams was their enemy, they were more screwed than he thought. Suddenly, what was impossible became suicidal.

Noah had seen other dragons before. If minor ones were able to create such chaos wherever they went, he didn't even want to think what the Archdemon was capable of. In a country without a king, divided and without the Grey Wardens, who were experts in this subject, to help them, he was certain that Ferelden was about to be wiped from the map.

Now that Noah stopped to think about it ... If nobody did anything, it would be a real massacre – it would rain innocent blood in this cursed land and this only reinforced his determination to go on until the end of this journey, whatever the cost, even if it was a suicide mission.

It was the right thing to do.

"We'll have to fight _that thing_?" Kallian said surprised, her eyes widening slightly. Even if her line of thinking was different from Noah's, she also concluded that fighting that monstrous dragon with only five warriors and a dog was a suicide mission.

"If we ask nicely, maybe it will change its mind, run to Orlais instead, launching his fury on those fancy bourgeois. Who knows?" Noah responded in a mixture of derision and outrage. "_Of course we have to fight him right, you half-wit_!"

Kallian snorted, throwing herself against the ground again. "Noah, you're infuriating, you know that?"

"Your frustration is my greatest happiness," he said, sitting near the fire.

"He isn't wrong," Alistair said, "I'm not much older than you inside the order. There's a lot I don't know yet. Moreover, Duncan ..." He paused, lowering his head slightly. Kallian could see the pain on his face as the memories started to hit him. It was the first time he'd spoken the name of his mentor since Ostagar, and even after all the time he'd spent trying to convince himself that he was feeling alright about his death, he was surprised by how ferocious those feelings hit him. His voice was nothing more than a broken whisper as he continued. "Duncan ... he always spoke in riddles and codes ... Sometimes it was hard to understand what he meant ..."

"Ahem ... Speaking of the Blight ..." Kallian sat, trying to change the subject. "Do you really think it wise to go after that Eamon from Redcliff?"

Alistair looked at her gratefully, with that sad face she hated so damn much. He smiled weakly, taking a deep breath before continuing.

"Eamon is a fair man, and wise too. I'm pretty sure that if we explain our situation, he will hear us. There's no one better to ask than him," Alistair said.

"Despite my deep chagrin, I agree with him," Noah said, crossing his arms against his broken chestplate. "Besides, he owes me a favor or two, on account of some services that I did for him," When he saw the questioning look on their faces, he added, "I trained a group of soldiers for him once, and my father assisted with the troops in his time of need. This is a great time to collect the debt, don't you think? Once we get there, we can see what our next step will be."

"Okay, to Redcliff then. Once we get there, we can decide then," Kallian concluded, nodding her head to no one specific.

"I disagree with this decision," said Mahariel, approaching them cautiously. "May I have a word?"

"Sure, Mahariel. Speak your mind," replied Kallian. Somehow she was happy with the Dalish's initiative. It was the first time that the four of them really talking, with no punching or kicking involved.

For the first time, Kallian thought that it may work.

"When I parted from you two," Mahariel began.

"_Fled_," Noah muttered through gritted teeth.

"When I _parted_ from you two," she repeated, ignoring Noah, who rolled his eyes in response. "I found a relatively large Dalish clan on my way. They are camped not far from here, on the west-side of the barrage where we met a few days ago, but I believe they will not be there for too long."

"What makes you think that?" Alistair asked.

"I talked a bit with Lanaya, the Keeper's Apprentice, and she blurted out that the clan was passing through difficult times, and that it was most likely that this _problem_ would force them to leave." She said sitting near Kallian, between her and Alistair. "Although this was not her decision and Zathrian did not confirm anything, the possibility still exists."

"What kind of problems?" Kallian asked, frowning.

"She did not say," Mahariel said, poking the fire with a wooden stick. "The problems of one clan are solved and discussed among the clan only. It was surprising enough that she had admitted it to a stranger like me, which only ensures the situation was serious." She threw the stick into the fire. "The point is, they are probably the largest clan in the region, and if you intend to enlist the help of the Elvhen, I suggest you go there first, before they leave. Once they do, only the Creators will know when you will have another chance. "

"It couldn't be that hard," Noah muttered. "This isn't the only clan we can seek for help, I'm sure there's more."

"There is no way of knowing where they are. We move all the time. Moreover, if you want, you can try your luck by searching every corner of the Brecilian Forest on your own to see if you can find them. Maybe we can find a group of ten or fifteen members, but I do not believe this will solve your problem. "

"How many members does this clan have?" Kallian asked, leaning against her elbows.

"Eighty, ninety maybe, I can not say with precision," Mahariel replied, rubbing her forehead.

"Oh yeah, big deal," Noah rolled his eyes.

"We have to consider this change of plans. We cannot afford to lose the help of elves," said Kallian. "Actually, we cannot afford to lose any help and you know that."

"But if the Dalish are in trouble, why they would help us?" Alistair asked. "They will prefer to solve their own problems instead of buying more."

Kallian thought for a moment before answering. "If only we could manage to solve their problem. Somehow, we would fall into their good graces, don't you think?"

"I do not know," said Mahariel thoughtfully. She'd spoken very little with Zathrian while she was there, but considering all the stories she had heard about him, she wasn't very optimistic about Kallian's idea. "Keeper Zathrian is a very harsh leader. I do not believe that this analogy would work with him. Besides," She paused, looking to Noah and then to Alistair. "I heard he is not very gentle with humans."

"None of you elves seem to be, so there's nothing new there," Noah muttered. Kallian replied with a fake smile that looked more like a grimace, and Mahariel squinted, frowning. "See?"

"Ahem," Kallian cleared her throat again. "Nobody said it would be easy, so we have to take our chances."

"I think-" Alistair began, before being interrupted by Mahariel.

"Did you hear that?" She asked, standing up. Kallian also rose, looking in the same direction than her.

"I'm not hearing any-" Alistair said, but stopped as soon as his senses went on alert. "Darkspawn!"

"Damn, I knew we should put the fire out!" Noah groaned, running to where his sword was.

"Morrigan!" Kallian called, sensing the presence of at least twenty of them approaching. The witch ran to the group with her staff in hand and sleepy eyes. She was already asleep, absent for the group decision as always.

As the bushes moved, all prepared their weapons.

"Woof!" A runaway white figure came out of the dark green leaves and almost was hit by the Dalish.

"A dog?" Mahariel asked, lowering her bow. The small Mabari kept running until he inserted himself between Kallian's legs, panting faster than his lungs could handle. His white fur was soaked with dried blood.

"What the ...?" Kallian said, staring at the small one, but she had no time to complete her phrase. Soon, Hurlocks began raiding the camp.

Before anyone could do anything, Morrigan cast an ice spell in the middle of them, freezing half the group on the ground. The witch could be the most antisocial creature in all Thedas, but her teamwork ability on the battlefield was impeccable. One by one, the group was able to kill them without much effort. Even the Mabari had a small stake, tearing the throats of those who were overthrown.

Besides the flying sword of Noah, the stalwart defense of Alistair and the agile movements of Kallian, Mahariel proved to be an excellent archer, with impressive reflexes, despite her apparent difficulty in dealing with enemies at close range.

The only damage taken was Noah's armor, which finally broke after the fight.

"I think I need new armor," he said, throwing the broken shoulder pad as far as he could toward the woods.

"Bark! Bark!" The dog barked happily, running like crazy towards the forest.

"What are the chances?" Kallian asked incredulously to no one in specific, still holding her daggers. "I mean, is it possible that he survived?"

"How many white Mabaris with violet eyes have you ever seen out there?" Alistair asked playfully.

"I know, right?!" The most beautiful smile that Alistair had ever seen in his whole life crossed Kallian's lips. He couldn't help but smile, too. He couldn't care less about his surroundings when she was happy like that.

A few minutes later, the Mabari returned, with Noah's broken piece in his mouth, wagging his tail as happy as if he had won a piece of meat.

"Come here, boy," said Kallian, crouching. The Mabari ran into her, throwing himself against her legs and causing both to fall backwards. He was far stronger than when they met at the kennel – it seems that he was finally fully recovered.

"What name will you give to him?" Alistair asked, bending down to pat the dog's head.

"Oh, I dunno ... He must have a name already, right?" Kallian asked, taking the piece of metal from his mouth and hiding it behind her.

"He's a puppy," Noah replied, throwing sand on the fire to dim the light. "He shouldn't have a name yet. Moreover, it's a common practice in the army to give numbers to their dogs instead of names, and since he is still young, probably he doesn't have one. Feel free to name him, unless you want to call him 'boy' for the rest your life…"

"No, of course not." Kallian said, frowning. "Wait, wait! You said he is puppy? With _this_ size?" She said, pointing to the small ox lying on top of her legs.

"He is not big," Noah said, leaning down to stroke the Mabari's ears. "You're just too small."

"Oh, you're very funny today," Kallian said with the same smile-grimace that she had given him earlier, reinforcing her sarcastic tone.

"I do my best," Noah said with his best evil smile.

The Mabari, pleased with all the attention he was receiving, suddenly jumped towards Noah, knocking him to the ground and licking all over his face.

"Okay, I surrender!" Noah joked, laughing aloud as he tried in vain to get the dog off him.

Kallian and Alistair looked at each other frightened.

"He laughed?" Kallian asked incredulously.

"He laughed!" Alistair replied.

"Shut up both of you!" Noah growled, quickly getting back to his feet.

"Okay, he's back," said Kallian, ignoring his grimace. "Come here, boy," she called, and the Mabari obeyed. She looked into those violet eyes closely for a long time. The small one didn't move an inch, as if he was silently speaking with his master, sharing the deepest connection of their very souls. Suddenly, her eyes sparkled with a bright light, as if the dog had yelled to her at the top of his lungs the answer she sought. "I know it! I will call you Shaw-Shaw!" she said, smiling.

"Bark! Bark!" Shaw-Shaw barked, jumping merrily around her.

"I think he liked the name," said Mahariel when he jumped on her, caressing his neck. She could sense his happiness overflowing through his little body.

"You gotta be kidding," Noah said awestruck.

"So now we'll have a bag of fleas following us around and spreading the filth and fur wherever we go?" Morrigan asked in such a disgusted tone that Alistair wondered if someone had slapped her face, to justify her hatred, while he was lost in the little elf's smile. As if wanting to provoke the witch, Shaw-Shaw ran into her, trying to lick her hands. "Shoo, Shoo!" She said, trying to dodge his wet attacks.

"You're worried about fleas? Look at his name for Andraste's sake!" Noah said, raising his hands in the air in anger.

"What's wrong with Shaw-Shaw?" Kallian asked frowning, embracing the Mabari who had just returned to her legs.

"Little girls put this kind of name on their cute pink little bunnies. He is a war dog! Shaw-Shaw imposes no respect!"

"I think Shaw-Shaw is cool," Alistair said, raising his eyebrows.

"Oh please, shut up and die," Noah growled, fighting the urge to slap him on the head.

"What do you suggest then?" Kallian asked, curious about what he might say, although she wasn't planning to change her mind.

"Names like Bonecrusher or Destructor would be great," he replied sullenly.

"Oh, really?" She asked, crossing her arms. "Tell me… These were the names of your toy soldiers?"

"They're better than yours," Noah replied, turning his face away. "Had my own Mabari been named that way, I would have jumped from the top of Fort Drakon."

"Oh, so you had a Mabari? What was his name again?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. An expression of victory grew more and more as she saw his reaction. Noah opened his mouth to answer but closed it, feeling his cheeks starting to burn.

_Estúpido.*_

No, he definitely would not say anything. He threw his arms in the air again, muttering something inaudible and turned away, kicking the ground occasionally.

Kallian didn't need to know the name of his Mabari to know that she had won.

"We're leaving!" Noah growled, looking for a piece of wood to serve as a torch. "This place is not safe anymore!"

"Did you see it, Shaw-Shaw? You beat the Grumpy!" Kallian said between laughs, rubbing his ears. It was then that she noticed a rope tied around his neck, with a piece of paper stuck to the node. She untied it carefully to not hurt him, picking up the message and unfolding it.

It was a short message, written with blood, with a blurred letter almost illegible:

_._

_"They are going north - Denerim will fall._

_Meet me in Lothering Chantry in two days if you want to leave Ferelden._

_If you're alive, I know he'll find you."_

.

So it was he who opened the kennel. Shaw-Shaw was only alive because of him.

"Thank you, Carver ..." Kallian whispered, embracing the letter tightly against her chest.

* * *

*_Estúpido – The name of Noah's Mabari. It means "Stupid", both in Portuguese and Spanish. (See chapter 6)_

_The little box loves so much when someone uses it! Leave a review - it will make the box and the author happy :)_


	22. Pretty as a Painting

_**Credits:**_

_**Portuguese Beta: **__Rohh Lael_

_**English Beta: **__wintryone_

_**Disclaimer: **__Dragon Age Universe belongs to Bioware._

* * *

**Chapter 22**

"Pretty as a painting"

.

_My dearest father,_

_ ._

_I hope everyone is well, as far as possible._

_I apologize for my delay in sending news._

_Since I left, I've had no chance to sit down _

_and write you this message._

_ ._

_So much had happened since then._

_ ._

_Ostagar fell. Duncan died… and the King, too. _

_Don't worry, though - I'm fine. And I'm not alone._

_ ._

_My companions aren't easy people. Well, _

_you know how humans are – infuriating and…_

_Confusing…_

_ ._

_There is no hesitation in their actions, however, _

_and their motives are true. Although my mind _

_keeps telling me the opposite, my instincts _

_insist that they may be worthy of my trust. _

_Whichever is right, only the time will tell. _

_ ._

_I can't return home yet. I can't tell you_

_the details, but there are still some pending_

_issues we must attend to and only we can do it._

_I hope you can understand me._

_ ._

_Keep me in your thoughts, Dad, and one day_

_we shall be together again._

_ ._

_Love,_

_Kallian._

.

-X-

**Kallian**

Shaw-Shaw is amazing!

And warm, too.

That first night I slept cuddled with him. I think it was a more peaceful slumber than I'd had in years. There was a moment, however, when I had the impression that I was in Denerim, back in the old scenario of my dreams. Instead of the Lion, however, I could have sworn that I saw the Archdemon again.

But everything happened so fast and blurred... In the end, nothing happened at all. Thankfully, I could say, but truth be told, it only made me worry more.

Not that I'm complaining - to be honest, I couldn't say that I wasn't happy, too. I needed to sleep. It was just… Strange, that's all.

Anyway, the little one was only skin and bones. I even dare say that it was My poor puppy's ribs stood out like angry sentinels on his back, a testament to the many days his stomach had been empty. He was so hungry that he almost swallowed my two remaining breads with a single bite.

Yes, I gave my last supplies to him. And of course, this generated comments from my companions. You know how they love to be annoying.

_"You gave your food to the dog by your own free will, so don't come whining that you're hungry because I will not split mine with you!" _That's what Noah said. Of course, Noah wouldn't be Noah if he didn't complain at least one time per day.

_"I won't, don't worry." _I remember I said something like this to him, probably irritated.

But in the end, I saw him giving his share to Shaw-Shaw when he thought that no one was watching him. Heh, fool. It was nice of him to care about my dog. They like each other, and I think that's what matters.

"_Take this,"_ Alistair said, giving me his bread. Of course I declined. He knew that I knew it was last of his supply, so he forced me to accept at least half of it.

_"You're hungry, take it. I won't accept no for an answer,"_ He gave me that lopsided smile, when we were alone at the new camp.

_"Alistair, hunger is not a problem,"_ I tried to convince him, but he was adamant. Stubborn Templar!

"_Of course, hunger is a problem,"_ he insisted.

_"I'm saying that I'm used to it. It doesn't bother me, really,"_ I replied, and to be honest, his thoughtful expression touched me a bit. Was he having pity on me?

Nah, It wasn't pity… those were _sad_ eyes.

_"Exactly why you should accept_ _it."_ He took my hand and gently put both halves in my palm, before bring my hands together.

Needless to say, after that there was no further discussion. He practically ignored me all night, afraid that I would put the bread back inside his backpack. Maybe I should, but he kept it well hidden.

I don't know why I had accepted it in the first place. I blame his stupidly cute smile.

Though I was uncomfortable having taken his food away, it was a nice gesture. I can't say that I hadn't noticed his protective stance over me, or that I wasn't enjoying it, because I'd be lying. Not that I needed it, just to be clear - and I think he knew it too, because it was a different type of protection. I don't know quite how to explain, I just felt… good, when he was around, I guess.

Anyway, I was grateful to know that I could count on him.

_"By the Creators! You city people do not even know how to care of yourselves!"_ Mahariel muttered, after listening to our conversation about food. _"If we do not get to Lothering in the morning, I will hunt you something to eat. Dar'Andruil Shala'ar*...!"_

Note to self: Remind me to ask her what the hell she meant by that.

_"Hunph." _That's what Morrigan always says about everything. I love _so much_ the way she snorts and ignores us when she loses interest in the subject.

Anyway, we arrived in Lothering in the early morning hours.

Since everything we do _has_ to have complications, a group of people smiling strangely and armed to their teeth surrounded us on the bridge that gave access to the city. Needless to say that it meant trouble, right?

Of course not.

"Hey, travelers!" A skinny guy, tall and bearded came to greet us. I didn't like the fact that he was wearing leather clothes and that he had two shortswords on his waist. A Rogue, maybe? If so, he was at a distance short enough to give a lethal blow to one of us.

If that wasn't bad enough, his swords were loose in the sheath.

There were six others around us - Two along with the leader, wearing heavy armor and carrying axes at their waists, two further away, near the stairs that lead to the city, each one with a pair of daggers on their backs and the other two behind us, holding big sledgehammers close to their bodies.

We were outnumbered. But at least they had no mage with them.

"Highwaymen ... Taking advantage of those who are fleeing from the Darkspawn ... It's disgusting ..." Alistair whispered, shaking his head in disapproval.

"Eyes open," Noah whispered through his teeth to me, never diverting his attention from the leader. I gave a quick glance over my shoulder to see if my teammates were on alert, too. Alistair held his shield close to his body, ready to react. Mahariel already had her bow in hand, hiding it beneath her cloak. If I remember right, I saw some hidden arrows tied on the inside of her cloak, so I had no doubt that she was ready to shoot if need. I didn't have to look at Morrigan to know that she had a good amount of energy already accumulated in her hand.

It could not go wrong, right?

"Hey, what are ya whispering there?" The leader asked me, stopping right in front of me.

"We're deciding how we're going to make the fools who dared to stand in our way pay for their insolence, maybe?" Morrigan said, crossing her arms. Another thing that I love about Morrigan, is that sometimes when she opens her mouth, it's a good thing.

"That's no way to greet others, don't ya think?" The leader replied, purposely placing his hand on his waist so the metal of his sword could creak inside its sheath.

"Hey ..." I heard one of his bodyguards whispering in his ear. "They don't seem to be refugees. Wouldn't it be better to let them go?"

"Nonsense," the leader said. "What can two elves, a woman and a dog do to us?" He smirked at us. "Look, let me say how it's gonna be - fifty silvers and you're free to pass. No hard feelings, okay?"

"Fifty silvers?" Noah asked, putting his hands on his hips.

"A nominal fee to enter the city." He replied. "I'm sure you don't want to mess with my friends, right buddy?"

"Look, _buddy,_" Noah said, snapping his neck. Uh-oh, that was new. I wonder what he was planning to do. "I am the guy who is almost as tall as a Qunari that carries a sword whose weight is at least half of your own, and that is able to handle it with one hand if necessary. So, the right question is: Do your friends _really_ want to mess with _me_? "

"Also, his sword flies," I said, crossing my arms as an excuse to place my hands near the sheaths on my back. No, I couldn't say that phrase without having this stupid victory smile crossing my lips or without that sarcastic grin. Damned if Morrigan hadn't understood the joke – I _always had_ fun with that, and that was what mattered.

Obvious that the bandit didn't understand either. Nor Mahariel. Alistair must have remembered the ballista episode back on the tower in Ostagar, because I saw him holding back a smile.

And Noah ... Well, he was pissed. He slapped his face and looked at me so angrily that, for a brief moment, I thought that he would kick me off of the bridge.

"Really? Do you _have_ to say that _every time?"_ He asked me, through gritted teeth.

"What, Grumpy? It's my favorite thing about you - of course I have to say it," I replied, shrugging.

"Less talk, more silvers, please," the leader said, totally incredulous, folding his arms impatiently.

"Oh…" exclaimed one of the rogues. "Tall and strong dude, with a' custom sword ornamented with white gold. "He pointed at Noah. Another one with light brown hair, shield with a griffon and ridiculous tuft and an elf ... Look, I don't know who the others are, but aren't they the Grey Wardens who killed the King? Those who have that huge reward on their heads? "

"Are you sure?" One of the axe-guys asked.

"How many redheaded elves with yellow eyes and a scar on the right ear you can say that you've seen in your life?" The rogue replied, drawing his daggers.

"Yes, _Grumpy_. I think my friends want to mess with you," the leader said, drawing his swords, too.

It was enough.

As I recall, it happened really fast, like all our fights tended to be.

Noah grabbed the wrists of the leader and headbutted him, followed by a kick that threw him to the ground. In the next moment, he was with his greatsword in hand, defending himself against the onslaught of one of the axe-guys.

Mahariel threw her cloak over herself, raising a cloud of dust and disappearing before the eyes of all. _Holy shit_, that was awesome!

Ahem ... Morrigan literally fried one of the rogues with a violent electrical discharge, that stretched around and stunned the other guy near him.

Naturally I jumped at the chance and threw one of my daggers at him. It didn't hit exactly where I had planned, but at least he was not going to hurt anyone else.

As I ran toward the second axe-bandit, I saw Alistair pushing one of the sledgehammer-guys against the eaves of the bridge with his shield. With a precise movement, Alistair took advantage of a loophole in his defense and impaled the bandit against the guardrail, hitting him in the stomach.

Three down!

My opponent must have thought I was too busy looking at the others and that I wasn't paying enough attention to our duel, because he made a risky horizontal thrust against me, throwing the weight of his body on his ax to try to behead me. He was either too naive or too stupid, because I just reached down and gave him a trick. Basically he fell by his own strength. I didn't have to do anything else, because soon Shaw-Shaw was already upon him, with his teeth carved on his throat.

_Good boy!_

I was so enchanted with the skills of my new canine friend that I didn't realize the other sledgehammer-guy was approaching us – He hammered Noah's back so damn hard that he went to the ground immediately, followed by such a strong sound of metal clashing that I could swear that something had broken. I just hoped that it wasn't _him._

Alistair had thrown himself against the last axe-guy, before he could kill Grumpy. I threw myself against the hammer-guy, using my dagger to hit the back of his head. Shaw-Shaw helped Alistair and together we killed the last bandit standing.

I went to the rogue's body and gathered my dagger, wiping the blood from the blade before sheathing it. When I looked around, to check the team, I realized two things.

First Mahariel wasn't anywhere. And second, and perhaps more importantly ... there were only six bodies on the ground.

My gaze met Morrigan, and by her expression, she thought the same thing.

"Where's their leader?" I asked, looking around.

"I will make him appear," Morrigan said, charging electricity in her hands.

The idea was good, but when I felt that the air was streaming around me, I knew it was too late - I could feel him behind me, ready to stab me. It was that kind of popping that happens in a split second, you know? It didn't give anyone time to respond, not even me.

When I heard the crack of metal against the floor instead of the sound of my own blood dripping on the stone, I dared to look back.

"Talk," said Mahariel, yielding the leader in the back, holding the iron tip of her arrow against his neck. The leader was standing behind me with his hands raised and his swords were on the floor near my feet.

"She isn't just a_ real_ elf, but also _a real rogue_," Noah muttered between coughs, still lying on the ground. "_Stealth."_

"Still with this?" I mumbled, rolling my eyes. Just remembering those agonizing hours of riding made my leg ache.

Despite the small moment of relaxation, my heart was still racing. All I could do was give Eilleen my best look of gratitude and whisper a silent "thank you" for her. She just nodded, her lips curving into a slight half-smile in my direction.

"P-Please, I surrender!" The leader stammered, looking scared.

"You heard the lady," Alistair said, approaching us. "Tell us everything you know."

"The R-regent Loghain, he ..." The leader gasped, gulping before continuing. "The regent Loghain put a big reward on the head of the Grey Wardens who betrayed the King and fled from Ostagar," he paused, breathing a lot of air before continuing. "The yellow-eyed elf, the noble from highever and the man who carries the emblem of the griffin on his shield."

"_He_ was the one who betrayed the King!" Alistair exclaimed angrily. "How dare he ... Regent? How come ..." He stammered. It was hard to swallow the whole thing. Too much information. Even I was having trouble digesting it all – I couldn't blame him for sounding so incoherent.

"I believe it I swear!" The bandit broke, trying to be convincing.

"I do not care, Shemlen," Mahariel said, pressing the arrow against his throat. "Keep talking."

"Okay," he said paralyzed. "After the defeat at Ostagar, Loghain returned to Denerim and proclaimed himself regent, announcing the betrayal of the Grey Wardens soon after, as I mentioned. Ten gold pieces per head - dead or alive, that's the deal."

"That means we have to be discreet from now on," Noah said, standing up. His armor was falling apart as he moved - the bits of his breastplate fell into the ground carelessly. "Ten gold pieces worth approximately fifty sovereigns. With so many refugees and people wanting to leave Ferelden, I have no doubts that there's already a good amount of candidates willing to kill us." He looked at his body revolted, taking off the rest of the armor from his body. "Shit, I need a new armor ..."

"How did they ..." Alistair growled. "How can they believe in the lies of that filthy traitor?"

"The people idolize him," I replied in a bad mood. "He can say whatever he wants and everyone will believe him. After all, there's no one to say otherwise."

"We can," Noah growled. "We know what happened. We'll make him fall."

"And how has Queen Anora allowed that?" Alistair said, starting to walk in circles. "Cailan was her husband!"

"That bitc ..." I bit my tongue before I speak something stupid. I know hate is a strong word, a feeling I've learned that it's not healthy to keep, but even so, I can say that I hate some people. Anora was one of them and I couldn't avoid it. "She's his daughter," I corrected myself quickly, before anyone realized. "What did you expect?"

"What should I do with him, Da'shal?" Mahariel asked, interrupting everyone. And she was right - arguing about it wouldn't solve our problems.

"I say we should make him pay," Morrigan said, casting a small flame in the palm of her hand.

"He took advantage of people who were fleeing the Blight. Poor souls that have nothing to eat, that just wanted to get their loved ones to safety," I said. "And to me, this is unacceptable." I carefully searched his pockets until I found the bag with the stolen money. "I will take this. Now, if you're going to kill him or turn him to the authorities, well, the choice is yours."

"Please, d-don't kill me! I'll never steal again, I promise!" The leader grunted, sweating so much that it seemed he had fallen into a lake.

"I think we should turn him in," Alistair said, trying to calm down.

"Why? Soon he will be stealing and killing again," said Mahariel, and I agreed with her. With all this confusion, he probably wouldn't last one day in prison.

"No, actually it might be a good idea," Noah said, giving a strong blow on the nape of the thug, knocking him out. "He must have annoyed a lot of people with this tax stuff. Probably there's a bunch of angry people that will be happy to teach him a lesson."

"If you say so," Morrigan complained disappointed, extinguishing the flame in her hand. I don't blame her, but I agreed with Noah – the victims wouldn't allow him to get out of this alive.

"We are about to enter a city," Noah continued, putting the thug's body over his shoulders. "We don't know who we can trust, then the word is _discretion_. No moves or actions that might give us away. Especially you, elf. Find a hood."

"I see nothing wrong with my hood," grumbled Mahariel.

"Not you, the other elf," Noah replied, rolling his eyes. Mahariel snorted. "Your red hair draws too much attention."

"Right, Grumpy, I'm sorry for being different," I said, starting to walk towards the town. "No way I'm going to hide."

"And stop calling me Grumpy!" he growled, glaring at me. "I have a name!"

"What a coincidence I also have one, but you don't use it either," I replied, about to ask a question to which I already knew the answer. "Will you stop calling me Elf?"

Noah looked at me for a good ten seconds without saying anything, before snorting deeply and slowly. He also looked away. He'd _never_ looked away before, so I couldn't help myself but to wonder if there was some sensible subject hidden inside this topic.

"As I thought," I said pointing to the stairs. "Lead the way, please."

"You have no idea how much I hate you, elf," he grumbled, taking the lead.

"I know, Grumpy, and this is my second favorite thing about you." I replied, trying to hold on to this moment with all my strength to avoid the tears from reaching my eyes, as I took the letter I had written to my father from my backpack.

Nothing more incriminating than a letter - It could report our position, and if for some reason Loghain still thought that any of us were dead, it was the best to stay that way. As much as it hurt me deeply, I couldn't risk it.

My family would have to understand…

So I held the letter over the flames of one of torches attached to the wall after I was sure that everyone was far enough from me, watching the words disintegrate while the paper burned between my fingertips, just like my heart inside my chest.

All I could do was hope that the wind could help these ashes to reach home and give them more comfort than the flames did to me.

Leaned against the top of the stairs, Alistair was waiting for me with that sad, concerned look that I hated so much. I don't know what he saw, or for how long I stood staring at the fire, but when our gazes met, he smiled. A shy, sad but sincere smile that had this strange ability to play with my feelings when I least expected.

"You're okay?" He asked me when I approached him.

_I will be, _I thought, but instead I just nodded and faked a smile, hoping that he wouldn't notice.

He gently patted my shoulder, before we properly entered Lothering.

* * *

**_Note:_**

_*May Andruil protect me ..._

* * *

**A/N: **_Thanks for the faves/follows! And for the amazing reviews, too!_


	23. Monster

**A/N: **_Sorry for the late update! DX_

_It's another longish chapter, at least :)_

_It's been almost six months already! Wow! I can't believe it's been so long! And I wouldn't come this far if not for you, my dear reader! :D _

_All the faves, follows, reviews, PMs, the watchs on DeviantART... They really meant the world to me. It helps me to keep going, because I know you're with me. _

_So, I wish to give an special thanks to everyone that gave me constructive feedbacks along the last months, or that gave me support in some way._

_Rohh Lael, wintryone, Bleeding Black Blades, Sasukefan1029, Verpine, Kayle5, jnybot, Luckrecia, JordanMathias, braindead212 and the Anonymous guests... Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!_

_Enjoy!_

_P.S: This mark (- x -) will work exactly like the lines - it will change the scenes too, however, it will not change the POV. :)_

_Also, I'm working on the artworks again, finally. The chapter 15 cover is already on my DeviantART - check the link on my profile :)_

_After I'm done with everything, I will post them on their respective chapters ;) _

* * *

**Chapter 23**

Monster

.

**Mahariel**

Andruil - my protector, my guide …

I put my fate in your hands when I held my bow for the first time, and since then, I have never questioned your means or your ways. I have always strongly believed that you had a bigger plan, one that involved every obscure or implausible event that happened in my life - something beyond my comprehension. All that left was belief in your will, and to have faith that better days would come.

But honestly, I can not see where we we're going.

I knew the plan. I knew what we were supposed to do. Even so, I could not see any future in our actions. Stopping the Blight seemed so far away ... And to be honest, I was not sure If I understood what was happening. I mean, the group itself. They were ... Atypical, if not to say strange. In that short time, I had realized some things.

For me, Kallian is undoubtedly the most patient person I've ever met.

The Shemlen known as Noah - Or rather Grumpy, since it suited him better with his scowls and his acid mood - was extremely rude, always disdainful and blatantly provocative in every situation. And instead of putting him back in his place, Kallian always put a smile on her face, a mocking tone in her voice and responded to him the same way.

And the weirdest part was that no one seemed to care at all!

It was a routine. Just the fact that he called her 'Elf', his voice filled with presumption, would have be enough reason for me to crave an arrow in the middle of his forehead. But she just did not care, and that was what I did not understand. She accepted his rudeness, but she did what she wanted to, anyway. Then, why did she put up with him?

And he also did not react, either. They seemed to be used to each other.

Not to mention that she spoke with that Shemlen called Alistair, just as if he was like her- a member of the clan. He once tried to approach me during one of the nights we made camp. Logically, I made it clear that I did not want him around, and since then, he's never tried to talk to me alone again.

But, despite having a questionable means of dealing with humans, you could see that she was a good person.

The day she saved me, she gave me half of the food and water she had with her, as well as her money, without expecting anything in return. And it was out of kindness that I decided to interfere when they were planning the course of their journey. I would never reveal the location of my brothers and sisters, if I knew that it would cause them trouble. If it would bring harm to them.

As for the rest, what left to me was to have faith, and fulfill the oath that I made to Da'shal, however stupid and crazy it was.

Anyway, we just arrived in Lothering. The city was in chaos - filled with humans and elves who had fled for their lives, scattered around the town and in makeshift tents at the edges of the city. There were many soldiers around, probably coming from Ostagar, and also a lot of merchants too, most busy arranging their belongings inside covered wagons.

Kallian suddenly stopped when we reached the heart of the city, turning to us soon after. She looked at everyone, from head to toe, before ruling.

"Before we do anything," she said, after making sure that everyone was listening. "As much as I want to eat something warm and take a bath, I have to consider our priorities first." She shifted the weight between her feet, taking a brief look around before continuing, and then to the sky. Dark, heavy greyish clouds stained the orange rays of the sun. "There are still a few hours before the evening, yet I saw some merchants already closing their shops." She paused, looking at each of us again. I did not know what she intended by doing this, but it was a very common practice of hers, from what I had noticed so far. She never spoke without a good look at who she was dealing with. While she merely appeared to be paying attention, it looked like she let herself get lost for a few seconds inside her own world before speaking, as if considering something or trying to see something beyond what her eyes showed.

It may even be my imagination, but one thing I was certain: she always briefly paused before speaking.

"What I suggest," she continued. "Is that we should go to the merchants and buy new armor first, because you two are pitiful." She pointed to Grumpy and Alistair. "Supplies, camping equipment, and whatever you consider necessary, as soon as possible, before the rain reaches us. We can look for a Inn or a place to sleep after that."

"I dunno..." Alistair said, scratching his chin. "I see no problem with doing all that in the reverse order."

"Were you born without a brain, or did you remove it for fun?" Grumpy interrupted. "Pay attention to me for a moment, fool creature: If you look closely, you'll see that most carts and clusters probably belong to the caravans, which means that they are just passing through. Nobody wants to be here when the Blight arrives. If this is true, and I am pretty sure that it is, half the people you are seeing now will be no longer here in the morning. Once they are gone, only the Maker will know where to find them."

"Like I said, it's only a suggestion," Da'shal said, crossing her arms. "Everyone knows their own needs best. However, I don't think it's wise to lose the opportunity to buy supplies. Especially because, by the amount of refugees who are scattered throughout the city, I think it might be very hard to find anything left for us to buy."

"Okay ..." Alistair said, defeated. "But I'm not sure about the part where we separate ... There's a bounty on our heads, you know ... Wouldn't that leave us vulnerable?"

"Quite the opposite, actually," said Kallian, watching a soldier who passed by us from the corner of her eye. "In my experience, I can say that the Guards, in general, are predictable to some extent. After a while, most people fail to see the other's features. Few are those who don't allow routine and comfort to influence their judgment, and look at real people instead of signs. Usually it's the opposite - they assemble a cast with the features and compare it until they find someone compatible. If it doesn't fit, they simply move on to another one, without really seeing who the person was."

"I see nothing wrong so far," said Grumpy. I didn't quite understand where she was going either, but I kept silent.

"Look around, Grumpy," she said, drawing a circle in the air in front of her with her finger. "There have more refugees than space in this town - people of all shapes, sizes and kinds. They are looking for a group, and only a few of them will care to search each person, one by one. We will go unnoticed if we split up and if we run into any trouble, it will be easier to lose them in a crowd.

Really ... The plan was good. And the expressions of others, they also thought the same.

"Not bad, elf," Grumpy said nodding. "We'll meet here in an hour, then. Try not to do anything stupid."

"Same to you, Grumpy, same to you..." Da'shal said, and her only answer was a bestial growl coming from his throat, and a feral look that gave me shivers, before he turned his back to us, like he always does.

I nodded, like all the others, before going out to look for supplies.

* * *

**Noah**

It didn't take more than twenty minutes to resolve my issues. I bought some new canteens and food from a dishonest merchant, who I almost kicked to death when I found out that he was overpricing his goods to earn money off the misery of the others. But of course he changed his mind after I applied a bit of persuasion, if you know what I mean.

I bought a backpack, a bedroll and a few sets of clothing from a man who was desperate to earn the money and get his family out of that dirty hole, but hadn't known how he would manage to do it. I paid more than he charged me, but the smile of happiness on his face was worth every silver spent.

As the for the armor ... I won't lie that I liked the one Duncan had given me. The point is that there hadn't retained much of its old form for me to still call it an armor. To be honest ... The only thing that was close to be called that was the shoulder pad, which the dog was now using as a toy.

_Shaw-Shaw._ Bah.

Just thinking about this name made me want to vomit.

I wore my new armor with a bit of disgust because of the excess of metal. Before I could resolve this challenge, however, I heard something different - a muffled cry, almost completely engulfed by the sounds of a fight. I know it wasn't my problem, but my legs didn't seem to care, as they were walking on their own.

I found an elf child sitting in a small, dark alley, hidden between the crates, crying, hugging his knees. His short, black hair fell carelessly over his brown eyes, which were red because of the tears that were rolling down his cheeks in an endless stream.

He seemed to be no more than eight years old.

"Hey," I called gently , lowering myself near him. He flinched, shrinking himself even more between the crates. "What happened?"

The boy gave a long sniff, wiping his eyes before replying, with probably the bravest face he could find to hide his sadness, "Don't talk to me, human. My mother said I shouldn't talk to your kind."

_Elves_, I sighed, fighting the urge to curse. I didn't want to do that in front of him, he was just a kid.

"So, there's no problem, then. I'm not human," I said, giving him my best reassuring smile. "I'm just me."

"You look like one," The boy said puzzled, though in a less defensive stance.

"And you seem to be a good boy." I reached out to him. "What is your name?"

"Nihael," he answered, accepting my hand. "Have you seen my mommy? She left and never returned." He tried to wipe the tears away with his little dirty hands, but they kept falling as he spoke. "I'm scared ..."

"And where is your father?" I unrolled the bandages wrapped around my wrists, and used them to clean his face. He didn't complain.

"He died a long, long time ago," the boy replied, suddenly holding my hands tightly. "I don't have anyone else. Please... Please take me back to my mother!"

That killed me.

He was scared, alone for I don't know how long, asking for help that never came. I knew this heartache ... Lost, feeling helpless and hopeless and yet unable to do anything other than sink more and more in our own pain.

No... Nobody deserves to live the hell I'm living. Nobody should go through this.

If the mother of this boy was alive, I would find her, whatever it took.

"Hey," I said, wiping the tears from the boy's eyes. "I'll look for your mother, but you'll have to promise me something." I pushed the hair from away from his face. "I know you're scared, but you'll have to be strong." He nodded, sniffling one last time, before forcing a determined look. He was trying, and that was good. "You'll wait for me at the Chantry, along with the sisters and out of trouble. Stay there until I get back, okay?"

"How..." The boy started, and I saw the distrust return to his eyes. "How will I know that you're telling me the truth?"

I could say that it was a promise, but only the Maker knows how many times he was fooled by these words before, so I had to think of another way to give him the assurance he needed. I didn't have much time to think about it, however, because if I took too long, he wouldn't believe in me.

The perfect answer came when I looked at my bare hand.

"Here," I said, putting my bandage on his palm, before closing his little hand.

"What's this?" He asked, slightly confused, looking at the outworn piece of cloth.

"I use this to train, so it helps me to get stronger," I said, resting my hand over his head. "I will leave it with you, okay?" I smiled. "Can you take care of it for me until I come back with your mom?"

"Aye!" Nihael exclaimed, running off towards the Chantry. Before entering, he looked at me one last time, holding my bandages tightly. All I could do was nod before watching him enter the building safely.

Right.

As much as I was a good observer, I was no ranger. I needed help if I wanted to find his mother quickly.

My first thought was the witch. But she didn't seem like the type who enjoyed good deeds. The elf was good at running and jumping, but I didn't think that she is good at finding people.

The stupid one? Not even if it was my last option. Not to mention that I'm sure he wouldn't be able to find his own underwear in the middle of a pile of socks.

The dog would be the most obvious choice, but I had nothing with her smell for him to track. My only option was...

_Oh, shit._

* * *

**Mahariel**

Not that I like to talk to humans, but it was necessary. I did not need much besides arrows, food and a bedroll. The rest I had in my backpack.

It was very interesting to observe their behavior. Every man for himself. Groups of people more and more isolated from each other, trying to take advantage of others who, sometimes, had as much or less than they, instead of coming together to help each other. There was such indifference, such lack of concern gathered in one place, which made me really think about what they were doing - living or surviving.

The Keeper said humans were different not only by their ears and height, but from the paths of their hearts. Their concrete walls isolated them, not only from the rest of the world, but from themselves. As much as they were together, they did not truly know their own neighbors. And even worse - they spread their frustrations among themselves, not only against the other races. They destroyed everything they touched. And the cycle of destruction and selfishness was so strong that even in a time of great threat like this, they were unable to unite.

I did not think it was possible. I thought that the Keeper had been exaggerating, perhaps, or that she'd referred only to a small portion of humanity. But now that I could see it with my own eyes ... It all made sense. I saw a guard shoot a man just because he was asking for help. I saw a merchant, whose bag was full of money, refusing to give a piece of fruit to a hungry kid. I saw a different soldier, with one of those helmets that looked more like a bucket, and a sword on his chestplate, almost running over a mother and her two children while going down the road with his horse.

That was what Da'shal was fighting for?

"Hey, tree hugger ..." I was standing alone in a corner, away from the others, leaning against a pillar, when I heard a voice calling me. I turned to answer, already prepared with an arrow in my bow, aiming in Grumpy's direction. I knew his voice very well - it was always strong and husky, almost wild. It gave me chills every time he spoke.

"Stay away!" I exclaimed, letting my stance making it clear that if he took one more step, I would shoot him. My hands were a little shaky, but I was praying he would not notice.

I... was afraid of him.

"Look, I don't have time for this," he said, taking a long step toward me. He caught my bow, holding the arrow together, so he could move it out of his way. Perhaps the tremor had increased because I saw his eyes hovering over my hands before returning to my face.

Why did he have to be so tall? Damn, he was fast.

"Let it go!" I growled, trying to pull the bow from his hands. He released it without offering resistance, but remained close to me to make it sure that I could not use it again.

"The thing is, I need you to find someone," he said, crossing his arms.

"I will not do anything for you, Shemlen!" I growled back, moving a few steps back. I prepared the bow, keeping it down, but he gave no hint of moving again.

"It's not for me," he said, as if stating the obvious. "It is the mother of a little boy. She went out of town for a while, and might be injured or dying. I need you to find her, as soon as possible."

"It's not my problem," I said, increasing the distance between us. If the humans could not solve their own problems, why should I get involved?

"No, it's not," he stated the obvious again. "But the kid is alone, and everyone around him is too busy with their own lives to worry about the problems of a child. It's not their problem. It's not my problem. It's not your problem," he said, uncrossing his arms. "It's not anyone's problem but his, and that _is_ the problem."

I opened my mouth to answer, but no words came.

"If you don't want to help me, great. Hopefully, you will able to sleep knowing that a child may have been orphaned because of you."

_Son of a bitch!_

"Okay," I snorted, defeated. To condemn a child to be alone in the middle of this chaos was the same thing as giving him a death sentence. "What are we looking for?"

- x -

It took a while to scan the outskirts of Lothering, but we were making progress. At least I was sure that all the traces we found were cold. They couldn't have been what we were looking for, since they were recent. The last option was the river, which was full of tracks.

I was taking too long, I knew that, but it was because I was angry.

Very much so.

This human ... He wanted to turn me into the villain of the story, using the speech that Da'shal applied on him to me. But of course, let the elf die. Now, since it's a human kid, then it is logical that he will strive to save him. _Hypocrite_.

If I refused, I would be like him. As much as I wanted to be away from him, as much as I wanted to refuse, I could not. It was a child we were talking about. He was not to blame, and I knew that fate would not be merciful to him.

To be honest ... The human God seemed to be kind of sadistic, to abandon his creation to be destroyed like this. It was a petty and bad thought, but I saw no other logical explanation for the inconsistency I'd seen in so little time.

"Any news?" His hoarse voice echoed near my ear. That made me almost fall to the ground with fright. He stared at me suspiciously, but I just shook my head, rolling my eyes.

I hate his presence.

I was keeping a healthy distance between us, but sometimes it was impossible not to approach him, at least a little. Like now, where he stopped a few steps from me, leaning down to see the footprints that I was studying.

"Dwarf," I replied, heading for the next track without looking at it. I could not get it out of my head that he could still hurt me.

"And this?" He asked me, crouching near a footprint which was apparently fresh. "The mud is still soft."

"No."

When he saw that I did not pay much attention to what he'd said, he frowned, still down near the footprint. "You will not even bother to come over here and check?

I crossed my arms and repeat my previous answer. "No."

"Are you afraid of me?" He asked me bluntly, catching me by surprise.

I swallowed hard before answering, "This is not our trail."

"You're afraid of me." This time it was not a question. He stood, still staring at me in that way that gave me chills: Head down and frowning, with his eyes covered by strands of his brown hair that hung just above his eyes. It was scary. Times like this, I didn't know if he was a man or a beast.

"These are elvhen footprints," I said, looking away. "It's not what we're looking for."

"I will not hurt you," Grumpy said, trying to get closer. My answer was an arrow in the ground, just inches from his feet.

"You left me to die, you hypocrite human..." I couldn't avoid the hurt tone in my voice when I spoke. "Saving this child will not diminish your sins ... You're a monster," I growled. "I want you to go away!"

He stared at me like that again, animalistic and more serious than before, if that was possible. For a moment I thought he was going to attack me.

"Right." He growled through clenched teeth, before going in the opposite direction. When I saw him walk away, I did not quite understand. Maybe it was just that - an act to relieve his consciousness.

Still, I could not hide my curiosity. "Giving up already?"

"I'm following the trail." He replied dryly.

"I told you this is an elvhen footprint... _Elf_." So, he wasn't just hypocrite but also stupid as well?

"That's exactly who I'm looking for."

After his response, two things happened. First, I was surprised. It was human nature to be destructive and treacherous, so how was this possible? Was he really helping an elvhen child? It made no sense. The second wave of thoughts, however, were overwhelming enough to negate the facts above.

Anger.

He was doing for a stranger more than he attempted to do to save my life - someone who was destined to be part of his group from the very beginning. There's no other explanation - it was personal. Wonderful. Seeing him having compassion for the elvhen was supposed to change my opinion towards him for the better, but the effect was exactly the opposite: I could not feel more repulsion for him than I was feeling now.

Anyway, nothing left for me but to remain silent.

* * *

**Noah**

The blonde elf was silent for a long time.

Then, I was right after all. She was really afraid of me. I should not have expect less, but even so, it shocked me a bit.

I'm not a murderer. Definitely I am not the bad guy ... Am I?

No, definitely not. But she ... She thought so. She was afraid of me.

Fear.

Maker ... How did this girl see me, after all? Some sort of hangman? A bandit? ... I do not know, I ...

I'm not the bad guy. And I had to prove it to her, somehow …

I don't know why I cared about how she saw me. I never cared about what the others thought, so why would I start now?

Perhaps because for the others, I was not the villain. And to be the villain meant I was like ... just like Howe …

I definitely had to prove her wrong. And I'd do it tonight.

I didn't quite know how yet, but I would make her change her mind, _no matter what._

* * *

**Mahariel**

We found the woman.

She was scared, with her ankle broken, cornered by some wolves. She was grateful when we arrived, even more when Grumpy told her about her son. He carefully held the woman up in his arms, with a friendly expression on his face so atypical for him, that I had my doubts whether it was the same person.

When we made it back to the Chantry, the sisters received us pretty well, and soon they were making sure that the woman's wound would be treated as quickly as possible. I just stood in the corner, watching the boy reconciling with his mother, leaning against the wall. I had been involved more than I was planning to be, but even so I followed him here to see if there was anything suspicious behind his good deeds.

To my surprise, he left the scene without asking anything in return.

When we were at the door, however, that was when the biggest surprise happened.

"Noah!" The boy screamed, jumping high enough to grab Noah's neck.

That's not a very common scene, you see, an elvhen child embracing a human.

Less common still is to see the human embracing the child with so much affection, caressing his head as the little one touched his forehead against his broad shoulder.

"Thank you ..." Nihael whispered, eyes closed with his head still touching Noah's skin. Grumpy's answer? A beautiful and sincere smile.

I was kind of paralyzed by the scene. More so when the boy reached his tiny hand in my direction, looking at me uncertainly. My hand moved on its own, and before I could realize, I was stroking his hair.

"Thank you too, pretty lady..." Nihael said, grinning from ear to ear.

I returned the smile with the same intensity, satisfied with his happiness. I could not help myself.

What I also could not help was my eyes meeting Grumpy's after he'd put Nihael down. It was so ... sweet and serene, especially with the last vestiges of that smile on his face - the corners slightly bent, his relaxed expression...

"I'm not the bad guy ..." He whispered so low that I do not know if he said that to me or to himself. For a moment, I saw a small glimpse of something else mixed with the brightness of his eyes. Sadness, perhaps?

Words cannot change the past, however.

"I do not care," was all I said before leaving, and couldn't stop the slight tremor in my voice. I could only hope that Grumpy didn't notice I was lying.

* * *

_*Click* :D_


	24. Leliana

**A/N:** _My, my! It's been a while since our last meeting. For those who didn't have the chance to check my deviantART last week, I'd announced a small alteration in the fanfiction schedule. RL problems aside, I got sick as well, so I couldn't organize my stuff as I was planning to do, so I needed that time "away" to put everything back into their place. _

_But don't worry - Everything is perfectly fine now, and hopefully there will be no more delays for the next two weeks, at least. And better! My dear beta worked very hard with me these days, and thanks to her, I will post twice next week :D_

_Also, there's a poll on my profile regarding a new story, related to this one. Your opnion is always important, so I would love to hear what you think about it._

_Last but not least, _**JordanMathias** _had found a small error regarding Mahariel's Joining (chapter 15) which I will be fixing still this week. It will not interfere in the main storyline - it's just to make the story consistent to the Dragon Age Universe. Thanks Jordan! ;D_

_That's it. I hope you all enjoy! ;D_

_P.S - 16th Artwork is available. Check my gallery ;D_

_._

* * *

**Chapter 24**

Leliana

.

"Definitely, saving your life is my new job," Alistair joked while bandaging Kallian's wrist. She was sitting on one of the low, broken walls surrounding the place while the Templar was standing in front of her, tending the small cut that was on her arm. Around them, three men were lying dead on the floor.

Kallian growled softly, rolling her eyes, "Not this again..."

"From now on, you should call me '_The Incredible, Skilled and Handsome guardian of the little beings'_." Alistair said and smiled, finishing off the bandage.

"How about 'Silly and cocky _lame_ boy'?" Kallian replied, hiding the bandages beneath her leather bracer. "Don't tell anyone about this. My day is already bad enough without Morrigan's smart comments..."

"It'll be our dirty_ little_ secret." Alistair blinked, reaching for her, which she allowed without complain. "Why lame, by the way? I'm not ..."

Kallian cleared her throat, raising her eyebrows as soon as her feet touched the ground. By her expression, the answer was written all over her face.

"Oh... Right. No nicknames, then." Although he answered it seriously, he failed to hide the pleased smile that crossed his lips. "Buuut, that makes four against one."

"Four?" She asked as they started walking, frowning deeply.

"Tower." He began to enumerate the facts with his fingers. "Forest, twice. And now today. See? Four!"

"I saved you twice in the forest, too," she grumbled. "The Ogre part doesn't count, because I wouldn't have been in danger in the first place if I wasn't trying to _save you_."

"Oookay, so it's three against two, but I'm still winning." He poked her arm several times, trying get her to stop ignoring him. When she turned to him angrily, all she found was a teasing expression on his face, alongside that strangely cute, lopsided smile that had the power to make her change her mind, which made her almost forget why she was angry with him at all.

Kallian stopped, placed a hand on her hips and raised two fingers on his direction. "It's a draw - two against two. Today, I definitely didn't need your help."

"Okay... You never need my help." Despite having rolled his eyes, his playful expression soon gave way to seriousness. "What did they want? Were they Loghain's men?"

"Yes... Mercenaries hired by him..." Kallian said, gritting her teeth, "_Looking for some fun._" She growled, pronouncing the last word with more bitterness than she thought she was capable of doing.

The little elf was on her way back to the meeting point, when she saw three men cornering a girl in one of the empty alleys farthest from the crowd. She managed to rescue the girl, who fled at the first opportunity, but it caused their attention to turn towards Kallian - _The insolent, yellow-eyed knife-ear, _she'd heard one of them say. She was defending herself without much of a problem, but she knew very well that she was outnumbered, and it would hurt her, eventually. Alistair arrived shortly after the first bandit fell, and found the elf with her wrist already injured. After much reluctance, the redhead ended up accepting his help.

She didn't need to say any more for Alistair to understand where she was going, and suddenly his chest was filled with remorse for having killed them so quickly, so mercyfully. In his time at the Chantry, countless women had gone there over the years because of the cruelty of men. He not only witnessed, but also helped to treat these victims when he was younger, and some of them - if not all - had never left his mind.

They were horrible memories.

When Kallian said that about the mercenaries looking for fun, his mind travelled a few years back in time, and he imagined her in that very same situation - beaten, hurted, with her body struggling to live while her soul begged to die. Just thinking about the possibility of her deep and expressive eyes losing their light ...

The truth was that Alistair had become very fond of the little elf in the few weeks they had spent together. She was a difficult, very difficult person, to say the least. It was as if they both were too far apart, in totally different places, but he could feel that with every passing day he was becoming closer to her. He was aware of the big gap between them - an enormous chasm between their worlds that he didn't quite understand yet, but that he was willing to cover the distance at all costs.

It was hard for him to wake up every morning and face the fact that his mentor and friend, the closest person to a father he ever had was gone, as well as his friends from the order. He didn't know how to face this new situation; Indeed, he avoided even thinking about it. Anyone who saw the Templar kidding and joking would never guess that behind his foolish smile was hidden so much pain. He did everything he could to avoid facing it, using his good humor as a shield.

And that was why Kallian was so good for him - she didn't criticize his manners nor doubt his suggestions, like everyone else did. Alistair knew very well that she had no idea of the reasons behind his actions, or how much the little freedom she gave him truly meant, but even so, she gave him exactly what he needed to easy his mind - at least a little bit.

She was his safe harbor in the storm of his life.

With her, Alistair could afford to be himself. She treated him as an equal, regardless of his origin or his royal blood, and his heart couldn't ask for anything more, even if it was just a horrible lie. He dared not to tell her that he was, in fact, the bastard son of Maric Theirin, Cailan's father, and risk being treated differently, like everyone else had always done. Because that's how everyone saw him - while he was an trump, a security measure to keep the throne in the family, he'd also been a threat to the reign of his half brother.

No, he preferred to keep it a secret, to protect the precious link they had.

_Protect her_, not only because Kallian was wise in her decisions, or because she laughed at his jokes, but because she had this strange thing that made him feel that it was the right thing to do. It was what his heart wanted - and to think that he might have failed ...

With much effort, and after taking several deep breaths, the question began to form on his lips, "Did... Did they …?" Alistair began, but the words died in his throat. Died because he was afraid of the answer.

Kallian nodded slowly, with such sadness in her eyes that Alistair doubted if she was telling the truth.

"No," she replied, staring at nothing. She did this often when she was thinking. Or at least that's what Alistair concluded on his own, after weeks of watching her from afar.

He might not know it, but he was right. The mind of the little elf traveled miles back home, more specifically focusing on Shianni. It was impossible not to connect one thing to another, and not remember and relive every moment of that bloody day. She often thought that everything ended the way it had because she hasn't been fast enough or strong enough or smart enough... Something she should have been able to do, but she'd failed miserably, and the guilt tormented her constantly.

"Are you sure?" he asked, still suspicious, praying silently for her to repeat the same answer.

"Even if they had, it's not any of your business," she growled, stopping suddenly. "I don't know why the hell you care..."

"Me neither, but I do care!" He snapped, starting to get upset. Why it was so hard for her to believe him?

"You're all the same..." She whispered through gritted teeth, not necessarily to him.

"You're _wrong_!" He exclaimed his voice filled with pain, making Kallian wake from her brief reverie. For him, being compared with those blighted bastards was the same as punching him the nose. He was incapable of committing such an atrocity, and the pain of knowing that _this _was how the little elf thought about him was clearly reflected in his eyes. She didn't know how to answer, and started to feel guilty for her harsh, precipitated words. Before she could say anything, Alistair looked at her, whispering one last outburst before turning his back to her and walking towards the meeting point on his own, _"I'm not like them._"

For the first time in her whole life, Kallian trully regretted she had opened her mouth.

* * *

**Kallian**

Things got a little tense between us.

No word was said, and the silence reigned while we were waiting for Noah and Mahariel. Morrigan was already there when we arrived, but thanks to Shaw-Shaw, who apparently had been bothering her for a while, she said nothing. Funny how the dog seemed to like the Witch, even knowing that everyone else had some reservations towards her . Or maybe he was just too smart and pestered her for fun.

As much as I was enjoying myself watching the little white ox jumping on Morrigan, mainly because of her awkward dance full of evasive maneuvers, I decided to opt for the most reasonable choice and save my dog from a inevitable fireball.

"Shaw," I called and soon he began to hop, finding his place between my legs with such a beautiful canine smile that made me forgive him for almost knocking me to the ground with his gentle brutality.

"Keep that flea bag away from me, Warden," Morrigan complained, but I didn't answer. Shaw-shaw was a good boy, despite being a bit captious sometimes. I didn't have the courage to scold him - what would I do? Prohibit him from being happy?

Nah.

Speaking of _happiness_, Noah arrived shortly thereafter, with Mahariel following him a few steps behind. I didn't quite understand _why_ they were together, but by the expression on their faces, it was clear that I would be signing my death sentence if I asked. Now that I stop to think about it... He was a bit different.

Right, he was frowning, with evil eyes and clenched teeth, but even behind the scowl I could see that he was thoughtful. You know, the eyebrows were less contracted and the veins in his neck were less visible. Oh, his lips didn't had that slight curvature that resembles the snout of a dog growling either.

I wonder what happened between the two to make them like this...

"_Let's go_." With a bestial growl, Noah called them, entering the Inn without waiting for us. I shrugged, looking instinctively for Alistair, but my eyes met only the emptiness that his absence had left when he went into the old house.

For me, it was as if he had slammed the door in my face.

* * *

**Mahariel**

We entered the Inn, and it was just as chaotic there as it was was outside. The place was housing more than its capacity allowed, and the voices of people talking could easily muffle even my loudest thoughts.

The place had two floors. The first was more like a bar, with tables and chairs scattered throughout the place and a small counter near the entrance, with a white-haired man behind it, apparently too busy with so many people talking to him at the same time. There was simple and straight staircase, which I believe leds to upstairs rooms. I never quite understood this incoherent human architecture, but that was how it normally worked.

The old man looked at us as soon as the door closed, and as if by magic, everyone stopped talking when his scream cut through the air. "Hey, you!" He bellowed, nervously waving his hands in the air to get our attention. More specifically Noah and Alistair's attention. "Leave your slaves outside, yes?! This place is already too full for me to have to worry about this kind of inconvenience!"

"Inconveniences? Slave? Oh, you shemlen son-of-a..." I took one step ahead, while considering taking the bow off my back, but Da'shal grabbed my arm before I could do anything. When our eyes met, in a fraction of a second, I questioned her decision silently. She was also offended, and the fact that she was so quiet surprised me.

Definitely she had no elvhen pride at all.

And then came her reply - there was disgust and hatred hidden between the different shades of gold and orange that her eyes reflected. Her breathing was intense and her grip on my arm was so strong that I had doubts if she wanted to hold me or prevent herself from doing something rash. I didn't understand what she wanted to prove by keeping us in position of submission, but again I decided to follow her request and finally lowered my arm.

In the next second, Noah was in front of us, his sword loosed from its sheath.

"Funny that you don't have time to take care of your customers, but have time enough to be a racist," he growled - Yes, growled, like a wild beast, and the hoarse sound of his voice gave me chills. "There are no slaves here. But... If you still have a problem with them..." He raised his sword and plunged it to the floor in front of him with such force that I retreated two steps in order to escape the fissure that had spread through the planks when the blade cut through the wood. "You can discuss it with my sword."

I was impressed with his strength. It was beyond anything I had ever seen. With one hand he had been able to, not only lift that big piece of gold and steel, but also open a hole in the floor like it was nothing. Furthermore, he ... Defended us. Of course, I was not the only one to be surprised - the old barkeep gulped, and probably all the others who were there too. Beside me, Da'shal released a contented sigh, grinning victoriously while she finally let go of my arm, to cross them over her chest.

"With his _flying_ sword." Da'shal said, apparently making a point of emphasizing each word, raising an eyebrow with her best expression of victory. But ... Again about this flying sword? Was this some kind of secret code, or some human metaphor that my intellect did not know?

Regardless of the meaning of the message, Noah glanced at her so threateningly, with such menace, that I'd instinctively taken a step back, even knowing that his hatred was directed at Da'shal. I could see every muscle in his neck twitching with rage. _Scary._

"Again?" He complained through his teeth. That man definitely gave me chills, but what amazed me most was how Kallian received his hatred in a completely different way than me. It seemed that this whole situation was just fine with her, as if it was something _good_, but it was not. It was bizarre, heavy, yet, instead of being scared or angry, she seemed _satisfied_ to discuss it with him.

"I get on your nerves, right?" She asked, but despite the mocking tone, I could see that she was still visibly tense, holding her own arms more tightly than necessary. If you looked closely, it would seem like she was embracing herself in oder to keep still, as she had done with my arm.

"You have no idea..." Noah muttered, narrowing his eyes before turning his attention to the owner of the Inn.

"If it matters so much to you, whatever." The old man threw his hands in the air dismissively, motioning for us to enter. "But it's good that they have money to pay. I'm not going to give anything free to these knife-ears." He muttered, turning his back to us.

I saw Kallian discreetly grab a knife off a table near us. Before she could do anything, however, three armed men approached us, followed by two others, who were a bit further away from the main group.

Obviously, they did not want to talk.

"Well, well..." Their leader said, taking a step forward. "We were not given orders to capture some Grey Wardens with that description?"

I heard Alistair whisper something about them being Loghain's men, but for me, their identities were the least of our problems. His intentions were what mattered in that moment, and considering the beginning of the conversation, it was clear that it would end in blood.

"What a nice coincidence ..." The other replied, looking at me in such a predatory way that it made me want to vomit. Before long, my hand had reached my bow, and soon I realized that all my traveling companions had taken similar measures as mine.

"Gentlemen, I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding," a red-haired woman with blue eyes like the sky and weird clothes approached us, smiling. I could not help but notice the swords on her back.

"Royal subjects, sister. Get away If you don't want to get hurt!" The leader snapped, pointing the sword at his waist.

The stranger did not appear to be intimidated by his gesture as she spoke again, even before the bandit could close his mouth, "There is no reason for such aggressive stances. It's clear to me that they're just travelers, refugees seeking for aid..."

She had not finished talking. Not really.

Noah had punched their leader's face so hard that he fainted on the spot. He not only had the voice and the appearance of a wild beast, but sometimes he acted like one, too.

"Refugee, my ass!" He raised both fists, looking at the others in that way that frightened me. Alistair did something similar, turning his arm in an arc in front him and hitting the second bandit, leaving a perfect opening for Kallian to finish the job, carving the kitchen knife right into his neck. The third enemy tried - with a huge emphasis on the verb_ try _- to catch Da'shal, but before he could do anything, the girl with strange clothes stabbed him in the back, and he fell lifeless to the floor.

"We are Grey Wardens," Kallian announced in a loud, serious voice that I'd never heard her use before, to the other two bandits. "So, what?"

As if to emphasize her words, Noah growled at them, resting his hands on his sword.

Our answer was their withdrawal, like two frightened children in the presence of a wild bear. Kallian, however, grabbed one by the neck and swung him against the wall, holding his neck harder than someone her size should be capable of.

"Tell Loghain that the _insolent knife-ear_ is going after him to settle the score." When Da'shal released him, the bandit fled, staggering and stumbling, doing everything to get out of there as soon as possible.

After the dust had settled and everyone finally had realize what really happened, a round of applauses and shouts of victory broke the silence, spreading across the bar. Even Noah had been confused by the reaction of the other humans. Kallian seemed oblivious to what was happening around us, just staring at the woman who had helped us. While people celebrated and Grumpy retrieved his sword from the ground, I heard Da'shal whispering a "thank you" to the stranger, who nodded with a big smile on her face.

"Ohh, that's wonderful! Grey Wardens!" I heard the old man yelling, bypassing the counter in our direction. "The same Grey Wardens who punished the bad guys on the bridge! These bastards were spreading chaos for many days now, and no one could handle them!" He came bouncing with open arms. "My friends, drinks on me! You can ask for whatever you want!"

At least ten steps from us, Kallian threw the bloody knife with the speed of an arrow into the ground and between his feet, causing him to stop immediately. Her eyes were as sharp as the words that left her mouth.

"I'm not your friend," Da'shal said through gritted teeth. "From you, I want nothing." She turned away to leave, stopping to say her last words. "If I hear the word_ knife-ear_ coming out of your mouth again, it will be _your_ blood on that blade."

"Elf?" Noah asked, ignoring the old man and looking at Da'shal.

"I won't stay in this place any longer." She replied, staring Noah in that way she had when she was analyzing someone. I do not know, I may be imagining things, but it seemed that the two were talking quietly, especially by the way he nodded after a while, without breaking eye contact.

"Okay," Noah said. I saw her nod and look at Alistair. I do not know what she was looking for, but by the slight glimmer of disappointment that crossed her face, I do not think she'd liked what she found. Well, he looked away, then it kind of confirmed my suspicions.

Da'shal's gaze got lost between the cracks on the floor briefly before she left, and Noah did the same.

Andruil have mercy ... The more I tried to ignore this man, the more he intrigued me. For me, he was a mystery. As much as his actions were correct and strangely surprising these days, nothing could erase the overwhelming rage I saw in his face the day he had suggested that they should leave me on the road.

I was not planning to spend the night in that place either, so I followed them, keeping a safe distance from that mysterious man.

I listened to the daughter of the Witch of the Wilds saying something about how it was immature to waste a ceiling and a bath for such bullshit, but honestly I did not pay much attention to her whinning. Steps and more steps began to join us and, in the end, all the others followed, including the witch, whose bad temper was almost contagious.

It didn't take long until a voice called us back.

"Hey, wait!" That woman in the bar called, running up to us with the hem of her robe in her hands. "Where ..." She rested her hands on her knees, catching her breath. Shaw-Shaw stopped beside her, staring thoughtfully at her panting. "You will not find another place to stay the night."

"I know, sister," said Da'shal, giving a brief look up before turning back to us, worried. "Look, you can go back to the Inn. I will meet you in the morning." She ran a hand through her hair, taking a deep breath before continuing. I looked up too, and when my eyes met the gray clouds engulfing the sky above us, I understood the reason for her serious countenance. "I'd rather sleep in the rain than go back there. But that's just me - you don't have to follow."

I expected that the humans would leave, but to my surprise, no one moved. Not even the witch. I could see the corners of Da'shal's lips curving into a small smile when it became clear that everyone was with her.

"Look," said the strange woman. "I know who you are." She began to look at Noah with such intensity that even he, who usually does not care about anything, became annoyed. "And I want to help you. Accept me in your group, please!"

Right. I do not think I quite understood. Although, I'd so many incoherent things on the same day that I suspected my mind preferred not try to understand anything else. What I knew was that there was much more complex information about human behavior than my books were able to describe - even more than the Keeper was able to convey.

I also realized that I was not the only one confused by this sudden request.

Probably uncomfortable with the silence, the strange asked again, "And then?"

"Look, sister ..." Da'shal began to speak, but there were several pauses between her words. "I'm no... _sure_... if I got it right ..."

"Leliana," The stranger introduced herself smiling, turning her attention to Kallian. "My name is Leliana, and you understood correctly. I want to help you on your journey."

"We are considered criminals," Kallian said, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes. The so-called Leliana not seem to mind, and both kept eye contact the entire time. "I don't understand why you want to join us."

"I know that the Grey Wardens didn't betray Cailan," she said, looking to Noah. "Besides...I dreamed about you."

Noah swallowed hard, and I had to hold myself to keep from laughing at his confused expression and at the redness that spread across his cheeks. He was frowning, but it was not scary as his other expressions usually were.

It was... _attractive,_ in a way.

"Look, you're pretty cute and all but," Noah began still baffled, but firm. Then, I rememered that he was acting softly like this because of her. The human with beautiful blue eyes. For some reason I felt strange. Not that I did not expect that ... Humans are predictable on this issue, and I've heard so many horrible stories about their character that I should not feel this way, because of this. But even knowing that I could not explain my reasons, I could not help but feel relieved when I heard his response, "But I'm not interested. That's not how it works with me."

"No, no!" Leliana shook her hands emphatically, trying to deny his suggestion and probably the blushing that had started to spread over her face. "I did not mean that!" She shook her head in shame. "What I meant was that I'm destined to help you. It was the desire of the Maker that you crossed my path."

Kallian opened her mouth, but said nothing.

"Oh yes," Morrigan sighed, rolling her eyes. "Will you also tell me that he came down from his immaculate pedestal right to this dirty world just to talk to you?"

"Yes," she replied, half innocently. "I had a vision of you."

Da'shal, who still had her mouth open - I'm not sure if it was because of the temerity to think that the human God had spoken to this woman personally, or that she still had not found the correct words - decided to have a say. "Whatever your...uhn... _motivations_ are..." I noticed that the last word rang with an extra dose of skepticism. "Is that what you want? If you know who we are, then you also know that this is not quite a picnic."

"I'm sure." Was her only reply. I thought Da'shal would look at all of us, as she usually did when she was going to make some decision, but instead she just nodded.

"As you wish, Leliana. It's a pleasure to meet you." She reached out and squeezed Leliana's hand tightly.

"More crazy? I thought we were all full up." Alistair muttered. He, who is always the most talkative of the group, had been silent the whole time. I found it odd, but said nothing.

"I have something else to offer beyond my swords," Leliana said, walking by Kallian's side. "The truth is that Lothering has housed refugees everywhere, but still has some space in the Chantry for you to spend the night. I'm sure the Revered Mother will not deny shelter."

"I'm going back to the Inn," Morrigan announced bluntly, then marched back to the tavern, and I swear to Andruil that I saw them all rolling their eyes. Maybe they are already used to these random outbreaks from the witch.

"Why does this not surprise me?" Alistair asked, to no one in specific.

"Chantry?" Kallian asked, failing to hide the grimace that formed on her face. She was silent while considering, looking at the ominous clouds in the sky before answering. "Okay, let's go. To the Chantry, then."

With a long sigh, she followed Leliana, like all of us did soon after.

* * *

_**Next Chapter:** Sunday, 06/04 (or 04/06, whatever lol)_


	25. Sketches of Life - Part I

**Chapter 25**

Sketches of Life - Part I

.

**Kallian**

Bath!

Bath, bath, bath, bath, _bath_!

Soap and water - for me, the current formula of happiness. I was feeling _so good_ after a bath in the Chantry, even knowing that the water was so cold that it hurt to the bone. I wasn't feeling just well, but also lighter, younger, and even taller! Okay ... not exactly taller, but still ...!

Ahem.

When we arrived at the Chantry, we saw the main hall packed with wounded refugees scattered around the corners or being treated by the sisters. In the bottom, there was a giant statue – please, emphasis on _giant _- of Andraste, made of basalt and granite with a marble base. What? Just because I lived most of my life within the Alienage didn't mean that I couldn't know some stuff. I'm not just a rowdy girl, as everyone thinks. Sometimes, when I couldn't sleep, I snuck out of my house, broke into the Denerim library and stayed there, reading until the early hours of the dawn. This, of course, was after I finally passed the phase of being afraid to walk alone after waking from my nightmares, which took at least a couple of years to happen.

Stones and books aside, her statue, which was supposed to offer comfort, only it caused me exactly the opposite - resentment, anxiety, restlessness ... Even a bit of anger. Here, at the foot of the statue, while Leliana and the others spoke with the Revered Mother and received her blessing, or whatever it was, I couldn't do anything but to look at Andraste's serene features. Yes, I moved away from them when I realized that their conversation was taking this course.

There was a time when I had my faith, my beliefs and also some candles in my window asking for protection, but each day that had passed, the more I became convinced that I was wasting my time with something that simply didn't exist. The episode that caused my departure from Denerim definitely broke the thin line that still connected me with my faith, establishing, once for all, the gulf that now exists between us.

I'm not being dramatic or exaggerating - I just couldn't call upon the name of the Maker. I couldn't believe that if I kept asking for something, it would become reality someday. I couldn't, not anymore. I was tired… Tired of everything - the nightmares, all the pressure, all the expectation, all the pain ...

I heard Shaw-Shaw whimpering softly beside me. When I looked down, he was sitting next to my feet, staring at me with those big violet eyes that were more expressive than many people I know, I smiled. I scratched his ear slowly, trying to calm him, but the only result was that he layed down on my feet. I think his own way to tell me that he was with me. Crazy, huh? But I prefer to think of it that way.

With a sigh, I turned my attention back to the statue.

Leliana ... This enigmatic and totally crazy person that was now part of our group, entered the church with a sincere, touching smile, whispering silent thanks to Andraste as we passed through the Hall. You could see, without even knowing her, that this whole atmosphere was good for her, and that her, well, faith, really came from the bottom of her heart. But I repeat: There, standing beneath that statue of granite and basalt, all I felt was the emptiness that the company of a cold and soulless figure could give me. While she was grateful, all I wanted to ask this mysterious entity was... "_Why me?_"

She came to me later, saying we could stay, and that the two empty rooms upstairs would be ours for the night. And of course, they caught me staring at the damned statue - I was so lost in my thoughts again that I was oblivious to the rest of the world, just like a daydreaming child. Except maybe for the fact that I wasn't exactly _dreaming_…

Whatever!

"Is anything wrong? You seem to be uneasy about something..." Leliana asked, staring at me with those big blue eyes. Sometimes it seemed that she was one of those puppy dogs who were always happy, no matter the hour of the day. If I didn't have so much to worry about, I would probably be affected by her positive energy.

"Her ugly face is normal," Noah muttered, crossing his arms with his best sarcastic expression. If this was his payback for the flying sword thing? I would change my name if it wasn't. "Get used to it."

I heard a muffled aggressive growl coming from Alistair's throat, but he said nothing. Actually, he… was avoiding looking at me.

"Now, don't be evil, Noah…" Leliana said, approaching the statue with adoration written all over her face. I could almost see her eyes sparkling when she touched the feet of the prophet. "You had such a worried countenance that I thought something might have happened. But I'm sure that Andraste, in her endless benevolence and charity, will intercede for you when you pray to the Maker, if your intentions are pure.

_By the Void!_ I swear, I almost stayed quiet. _Almost_. I was willing to bite my tongue to not be rude to her, but when you're not in the mood to talk about religion, it means that _you're not in the mood to talk about religion._ Simple as that.

"I'm not used to talking with statues," I replied, taking a step backward. Who didn't like that at all was Shaw, who hit his head on the floor when I took my foot from under him. He glared at me, as if I had stolen the best meat out of his mouth. "Sorry, boy..." I whispered to him, and he snorted in dissatisfaction before sitting down next to me again.

When Leliana spoke again, Shaw went to watch her in a quite intriguing way, but I decided to ignore it for now.

"Oh, but it's not about the statue. Andraste's grace is present in all things, in all places, and her goodness knows no bounds."

"Leliana ..." I rubbed my temple emphatically, fighting the urge to leave the Chantry and try my luck in the storm. I meant it when I said that I was tired of everything. Shaw-Shaw then gave a muffled bark, drawing Leliana's attention to him before she could say anything else.

I love that dog so damn much.

"What's with him?" Leliana asked, taking two steps backwards, visibly frightened.

"He wants to bite you," Noah teased, looking really pleased as he watched her jumping in her place, startled.

Again, I almost stayed quiet. "The first thing you should know about us is that a great part of what comes out of Grumpy's mouth should be ignored," I said, and my greatest pleasure was to receive that angry look, which represented very well how close I was to feeling the weight of his flying sword right on my head.

I amused myself with the little things.

"So... He won't bite me?" she asked, still suspicious.

"No, he will not," I said, trying to reassure her. Although it was funny to see someone like her, that could fight bandits with no fear, being so apprehensive around my little dog, I couldn't be complicit in this dirty game. Shaw-shaw was a good dog, despite his genius. Besides, I knew that expression very well - it had been held deeply in my memory since I first met him. "He wants your permission."

"I don't get it... Permission?" Leliana looked at me, confused. What could I do? It seemed stupid, but it was true. He wanted to know if he could be, well, a dog around her.

I was about to open my mouth to answer, but Noah interrupted me, "Second thing you should know about us is that great part of what comes out from the elf's mouth should be ignored." He started to walk toward the stairs, probably to our new rooms, passing by my side and letting out a trail of "vengeance accomplished" feeling wherever he walked. He gave me a last sarcastic look before climbing the stairs.

"Screw you!" I growled, and he just threw his head back laughing before vanishing from my sight.

When I turned my attention to the group again, Shaw-shaw was already jammed between Leliana's legs, wagging his tail happily, while the sister laughed at his excitement. I took that as my cue to leave. I didn't want to risk getting involved in a deeper conversation about religion again. The day was long, tiring, my wrist was throbbing because of the earlier fight and my patience was growing increasingly thin. As much as I was trying to maintain control, it was hard - I needed some time to organize my thoughts, and time wasn't exactly what we had.

Before climbing the stairs, I unconsciously searched for Alistair, and when I found him, the view wasn't pleasant. He was looking at me, perhaps for the first time since I ... He ... And what I saw didn't make me feel better. His gaze was so intense, so heavy and overloaded with angst, such strong emotions that I felt a huge emptiness deep in my stomach, followed by an uncontrollable urge to go to him for ... for ... I don't know, to do something, _anything_ that would dispel the anguish from his eyes and soothe his heart ... And mine too.

It took a while for him to realize that I'd caught him staring, and immediately he regretted it, because in the next moment, his back was already turned to me, suddenly interested in the details of the feet of Andraste's statue.

That was the last time I saw him that day.

- x -

Hours passed, and the storm finally fell mercilessly upon us, blowing against the walls and making the wooden doors creak. It was almost midnight, but I was still awake, lying on my new bedroll, watching the lightings cross the sky through the glass window. Leliana and Mahariel were sleeping in their own improvised beds, each in a corner of the room, so comfortably that I felt a twinge of envy over their tranquility. For once, I couldn't sleep. The thunder flashes were perfect for tricking my imagination, but that wasn't the only thing that was bothering my troubled mind.

Don't get me wrong, I was more than grateful to be sleeping in a warm bedroll, away from the hard ground and under a roof. Demons aside, I was bothered by another important matter.

_You're wrong!_

Alistair's words echoed in my mind constantly, back and forth between my thoughts, until it became the only thing I could think about. I was feeling _horrible._ In fact, it was as if there was _guilt_ running through my veins instead of blood. I could feel the chills running down my spine every time I remembered the cold and empty look, full of resentment and the pain on his face.

_You defended me, I defended you ... That's what the Grey Wardens do - they take care of each other_.

As I lay there, I was moving my pendant between my fingers above my head. The blackened blood of Darkspawn moved from one side to the other within the small crystal container, just like the waves probably moved against the shore. I was a Grey Warden now... Things had changed. I had to get used to it. Incidentally, I still have to get used to so many things ...

_We're in this together - you can count on me, always._

I could complain all I wanted, but I could never contest his words - It was exactly what he did. I know I said we were fine, but I never really let go of my suspicions and my traumas when it came to humans. I let them influence me, guide my actions and I knew that sooner or later it would bring me consequences. But what could I do? I knew I must control myself, keep my feelings and my anger lest it wouldn't influence my mission or disturb my judgment, but my personal impressions always seemed to rule my choices... And I guess they always will.

_I know you're suspicious of me, but ... I think we get along sometimes ..._

Half the time I suspect him, and the other half I don't. Both feelings were so tied together that it was hard to distinguish which was predominant. On the one side, there was all I knew about him - the partnership, the protectiveness, the caring… On the other, there was all I knew about humans - the cruelty, the wickedness, the barbarism ...

_The truth is that you seem to be a good person._

Maybe that's exactly the problem. _Person_. In everything he did, in every look, in every... _touch _... I'd never been an elf in his eyes. Not even once. I acted exactly as I expected him to act - I considered _what_ he was and judged him as if he was the one to blame for all the evil that fell upon the elves. _Upon myself._

_I'm not like them!_

I threw all the weight of the deeds of an entire race upon a single person, whose only mistake was to want my friendship. It was more than time for me to stop being such a racist bitch and start seeing him as a person, rather than a human, and judge him by _who_ he was.

_Me neither, but I care!_

That made two of us… because I just found out that I cared, too.

So with a swift movement, being completely overrun by this new feeling, which was a mixture of determination with something else, I got up from my bedroll at once, leaving the room silently.

* * *

Kallian crossed the long corridor with light, quick steps, going into the boys' room. Her determination, however, failed her when she reached the door, her hand raised and ready to knock. She was willing to clarify everything, but she did not know exactly what to do. What to say. How would she explain her presence here, in the middle of the night?

Noah would certainly pester her for the rest of her life. And also... Would he agree to talk to her? At this time of night? Was he asleep already?

_Of course he is sleeping!_ She thought, leaning both hands on the door frame, then lowering her head.

_What am I doing?_ She wondered, realizing that she was not wearing any armor or carrying her weapons. _None of them_. Kallian knew that she should never walk around without them, and soon it all began to sound stupid. Defeated, she lowered her arms and sighed deeply, slowly running her hand over her face as if she was wiping the sweat from her forehead, before marching back to her room. This matter would have to wait until tomorrow morning to be resolved.

Again, she paused before crossing the threshold. She was restless, still shaken by her sudden resolution, and deep down she knew she would not be able to fall asleep. Determined, she entered the room quietly, grabbed her sketchbook and left again, crossing the aisle toward the other wing of the second floor - more precisely to the library, which had a modest balcony whose doors were made of glass.

She might not have time to put her thoughts in order, but she was sure that a few hours contemplating the storm could bring some of the peace that her heart needed so much.

- x -

When she saw him, her heart stopped.

She was psychologically prepared to have a whole night to rehearse her speech before meeting with him.

"_Alistair_..." She called, but her voice was completely drowned out by the loud thunder that cut the sky, causing the windows on her left to shake considerably. Once she'd turned down one of the corridors of the Wing of the library, there he was, with no armor or weapons, making the reverse path back to his room.

Since he'd taken a well-deserved shower and prepared his new armor, Alistair spent his free time in the library, reading some of the few books on magic that were lost among all those sacred writings. He was avoiding everyone for different reasons, but mainly because he wanted some time alone. He needed to think - his head was so full that he had read a small booklet of a hundred pages twice and leave the library without knowing exactly what it was about.

He was fulfilling her wish, after all. Kallian didn't trust humans, that was clear to him, and he'd been happy that she finally seemed to have given him a chance. How wrong he was... She didn't want him around, that was obvious. If they were together, it was because they needed to be, not because she_ liked_ it. It was not her choice. So that would be over - if she really thought so badly of him, he would leave her alone, as she wanted.

What hurt him the most was that she let him grow close to her, only to cut him from her life. He liked to have the little elf around - her friendship made him feel good and he enjoyed her company. But then...

For long minutes they were face-to-face, one at each end of the short hallway, just looking at each other in silence. After a long sigh, he resumed his walk, passing her without looking her in the eyes. It was not only because she had compared him with a gang of disgusting rapists, but because of the analogy behind it - he'd offered himself to her, and she not only rejected his trust, but also showed that, in the end, she did not cared about him. _Nobody ever cared_.

"Wait," called Kallian, before he could make the turn. He stopped, resting one hand on the wall before looking at her. "Can we talk?" Yes, talk. It was what she wanted to do, although she didn't know how she would proceed. She had to stop him from leaving at all costs, not only because she knew her mind would not be at peace until she talked to him, but because this was probably the only chance that they would have to be alone for a while.

"Kallian, look I..." His voice was tired, defeated, sad to say the least, and it made her feel worse.

"Please," she begged, not bothering to hide the emotion shining in her eyes. Her intentions were true, and she wanted to make it clear to him that she wasn't looking for an argument. Sighing heavily again, he turned to face her, leaning one of his shoulders against the wall.

"Kallian," he said, closing his eyes, perhaps to prevent his own emotions from giving him away. "I'm tired. I did everything to try to prove you wrong. I tried everything to show you the kind of person I am, but in the end, it became clear to me that you don't want me around. It didn't matter how much I tried, you had a vision of me that I now know will never change. "

When he opened his eyes again, he saw the grief-filled expression on the face of the little elf, and nearly didn't swallow his words, but they couldn't be held in his chest any longer. She opened her mouth to speak, but he raised his hand, asking her to listen until very the end. If he stopped now, he would probably keep it to himself forever.

"When I cared, you said it was none of my business. When I tried to help, you said you did not need me. When I _defended_ you, you made it clear that there was no difference between me and those who tried to hurt you. " Alistair looked away, heading towards one of the windows and putting his back to her. The wind threw raindrops against the glass, cracking and scratching like stones ready to break the material at any moment. Kallian remained silent, letting him talk without further interruption. They were truths, harsh words that had come from her own mouth that she hadn't known would hurt him so deeply. It was true that she wanted him to stay away at first, but after a while she'd wanted the exact _opposite_ - only her stubbornness and her prejudice had prevented her from seeing the truth.

His voice faltered a little when he finally finished his confession, but it was still filled with all the feelings that he needed to let out, "I'll do what you want - from now on, I'll be out of your way."

Kallian took a deep breath before answering. She didn't want him out of her way. "Alistair, you don't understand ..."

"Then make me understand!" He exclaimed, punching the window frame with both hands. Another lightning slashed the sky closer than the previous one, but he didn't seem to mind.

"It's hard for me to call you friend," she confessed, leaning against the opposite wall. "As much as I want to, I _can't_..."

Realizing her low voice, he asked with less intensity, but firmly, "Why?"

"You know what happened to my people, I'm sure. Actually, you know what _happens_ to my people, don't you?" Kallian asked quietly, staring at the faded red carpet that covered the hallway.

"All I know is..." He began, turning and facing her, leaning against the opposite wall. "Humans enslaved the Dalish, taking away their lands and their magic." Kallian nodded, still staring at the ground. "But that was many centuries ago."

"But the effects still remain today. I'm sure that you know what the elves had to endure living in the Alienages ..."

"Kallian, I lived inside the Chantry until I was eleven," he said, confused for judging necessary it to reveal part of his past to her. He had not planned to talk about his personal life, but the effect that Kallian had on him was stronger than all of his senses put together. Even upset, he still felt he could talk to her about anything. "The only thing I know about the elves is that they want to recover their past."

"The _Dalish_ seek," said Kallian between her teeth, hugging her sketchbook. She could have been upset because of this habit of humans, in general, for being oblivious to everything that wasn't related to them, but she didn't blame him. She herself didn't know much of the history of other races. "I don't share that desire."

"That doesn't make much sense..." Alistair said, crossing his arms. Although he was more at ease in her presence, he was still tense - he could feel the muscles in his neck aching, so much so that it was difficult to turn his head.

"The Dalish hope for a miracle. They attempt to seek the solution to their problems in a past that no longer exists. In the end, when they realize that the glory they hope for will not come back to save them from their inertia, it will be too late and they will finally know that they have passed through their whole lives without actually having lived one single day, "sighed Kallian. "They don't fight. The city elves don't fight. _No one fights_ and thus, the cycle of hate and oppression continues, and my people keep suffering from slavery, rape, submission, death ..."

"I'm sorry..." Alistair whispered, starting to feel bad about what he had just heard. Apparently, what he had learned of the elves was completely different from reality. Gradually, he began to understand some of her distrust but, despite this, his mind kept betraying him, showing a flurry of flashes about a possible past to justify her extreme caution - one worse than the other - he wasn't convinced yet. "But Kallian, all of this has nothing to do with me."

Kallian sighed again, feeling stupid for arguing against the obvious. Of course this wasn't about him. Wasn't this exactly the conclusion she'd reached when she had decided to go after him? Yet it was impossible to separate one from the other completely.

"Yes, it has, Alistair, and always will have ..." She whispered, looking away. It was hard to find the balance between what her mind wanted to say and what her heart wanted to do.

"Right." He sighed sadly, using all his strength to push off the wall and go back to his room without looking back. She had made a choice, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Seeing him retreating again, she exclaimed, "Please, don't leave me!" Kallian admitted it, and was at once surprised to be able to confess it out loud. It was what she needed to say, and exactly what he needed to hear to make his overwhelming desire to get out of her sight disappear. Alistair stopped in the middle of the hallway, staring at the little elf with his eyes slightly wide. As much as he wanted to hear those words coming out of her mouth, he never imagined that it would actually happen. "Come with me ..." she said to him.

"Where?" he asked, still surprised, following the little elf through the dark hallway. All the tension in his body was dissipating quickly, as if Kallian's words had some sort of magical power over him. Now, more than ever, he was curious to know what she would say, what she wanted to do... But the truth was that he didn't care about the outcome - just knowing that she didn't reject him like everyone else did, that she liked having him around… it was more than he could have expected.

After all, for someone as difficult as Kallian, she would never say it if it weren't true, right?

Kallian didn't answer - just sighed, relieved when she heard the footsteps of the Templar following her in the hallway. Maybe her expectations were too great for her to be able to hear his question, but still, Alistair saw no need to ask it again.

He didn't care - as long as he could stay with her, he knew he would go anywhere.


	26. Sketches of Life - Part II

**A/N:** _Woah, 100k already?! I can't believe it. You all are amazing, you know that? Thanks for everything! :)_

* * *

**Chapter 26**

Sketches of Life - Part II

.

The library was not a fancy place, quite the opposite - it was only slightly larger than the room she shared with Leliana and Mahariel. It had a red carpet with a golden sun in the center, covering most of the place, which had no more than two pairs of tables and a few shelves full of books. Kallian had found the place quite cozy, especially with the double doors that led onto a tiny balcony, made of glass. She could see the mountains behind Lothering perfectly, as they were being swallowed by the black clouds when the lightning lit up the sky.

It didn't matter to Alistair to have returned to the empty library. In fact, he was happy to have left the corridor and gain some privacy with her.

The first thing she did was pull a chair near the glass door, putting her sketchbook on the table. She didn't sit down, however, just laid her hands on the back of the chair. Before sitting down beside her, Alistair picked up the lone torch that was attached to the wall near the entrance, so that they wouldn't be completely in the dark.

As he straightened the light source on the pedestal above the table, Kallian started talking, "When I said that it wasn't any of your business, it was because I'm not used to sharing my problems." Her voice was just a whisper. "When I said I didn't need your help, it didn't mean I wasn't happy to receive it." Alistair's hands stopped on the latches of the pedestal, completely disarmed by her confession. He definitely didn't expect anything like that. "When I said you were like them, I was being an ass. I'm sorry for all I said… but I still don't know how to live any other way ..."

Alistair didn't know exactly how to deal with this answer, whether it was a good thing or not, but as soon as he finished with the torch and his eyes rested upon her, he was no longer thinking straight. Amidst all the tension and surprise, he wasn't paying much attention to his surroundings. Now, his temper calmed, he finally stopped to really look at her.

She was barefoot, and didn't seem to mind the cold floor. Sometimes she shifted her weight between her feet, rubbing her heel against her shin to dispel her nervousness, but otherwise she seemed to be at ease with the stones. Her dingy white shorts allowed him to take a closer look at her legs - her shins were strong, with some thin white lines almost completely faded that were reflected by the flickering light from the torch. She wore a dark blue shirt that covered her shoulders completely, but left her sinuous, but delicate arms exposed. He could see the thin white lines here and there too, just like her bandaged wrist. The scars were barely noticeable, but his eyes were attentive – _too way attentive_ - and for the first time he realized one very important detail, something that had been there all the time, but he was never able to notice.

Kallian was a _woman._

It was not a matter of gender. Alistair had seen her from several different other perspectives - First as a new recruit, then as his partner in rank, the leader of the group ... But there, standing in front of him without those thick leather straps and shapeless clothes capping her curves, he had finally realized what she really was: a beautiful woman.

Her blood red hair was tied in a low ponytail, bound on the side of her head below her right ear. It followed down below her shoulders and curled slightly over her breasts, in a perfect contrast with her pale skin and the crystal pendant that dangled seductively within the limits of the small neckline of her shirt. Then his eyes met hers – golden rather than the topaz, reflecting the various shades of orange coming from the torch, hidden behind some rebels locks, which insisted on laying over her face.

When Kallian's eyes finally met his, shining more intensely that the fire burning at his side, he couldn't prevent his heart from beating fast, and something began to explode inside his chest, nearly suffocating his senses. He didn't know what to say, but he couldn't look away.

"Alistair?" She called after noticing that the Templar simply stopped showing any signs of life. "Are you okay?"

"Uh..." He just nodded, shaking his head and shoulders as if wondering the reason for the question. His mind was so busy trying to decipher what had just happened that it seemed unable to form words, much less be consistent.

"You are half red, are you sure you're okay?" Kallian crossed her arms, tilting her head slightly to the side.

"I... uh... you..." Alistair stammered, trying to focus on anything but _her,_ yet it wasn't an easy task. "What?"

Kallian giggled in that way he liked so much, which didn't help to restore his concentration. "You're stumbling over your words again..."

"You're not helping," Alistair muttered, turning briefly to look at the window. Although the lighting might be a good distraction, he couldn't keep his eyes away from the little elf for too long. There was still a small smile on her lips, yet her eyes were no longer looking at him, but instead the thick leather bag that enveloped her sketchbook. His eyes didn't take long to find her pointy ear - and the horrible scar that crossed it from end to end, as if dividing it in two.

When she said nothing, he found the courage to ask, "What happened?" He raised a hand, putting a lock of her heir behind her ear so gently that Kallian wasn't bothered. She just raised a hand, running the tips of her fingers over the scar as the memories began to bombard her mind. If she closed her eyes, even for a moment, she could feel the blade cutting through the cartilage of her sensitive ear as if it had happened only the day before.

"This is none of your..." She bit her tongue. It was passed time to forget about her usual ignorant responses. "I just would rather not talk about it. Not now," She glanced pleadingly, begging him not to insist on the subject, but that only made the strange feelings that had invaded his chest begin to tighten his insides, so much that it hurt, increasing the pain with every scar that he found in her skin.

"It was… Humans who...?" He asked, and his voice was just a sad whisper muffled by the lightning cutting the sky. She just nodded slowly, rubbing the cover of her sketchbook, showing so much interest in the frayed leather that Alistair understood that he should not push it further.

So, he pulled a chair next to her and sat down, staring at the strange object. He didn't know what it was - in fact, he hadn't even realized she was carrying something until now.

After long minutes with only the sound of the rain and the wind filling the place, Kallian finally spoke again. "I'm trying, Alistair." She sighed, starting to undo the laces of the bag. "Just ... Try to understand my side ..."

"I was hoping by now you'd know, well that I do want to understand your side, Kallian," said Alistair.

She looked up at him, and again couldn't help but notice the sincerity in his eyes. "I believe you," she said. "I just don't know if it's possible."

"All the others," Alistair began, and he glanced down to hide his expression from the little elf. "They all think I'm an idiot."

"Alistair…" Kallian tried to interrupt him.

"You know it's the truth," he said and looked back up at her. "It would mean a lot to me if you'd give me a chance."

Kallian nodded slowly. Perhaps there was way to make him understand, a way to show him a bit of her world. And she knew exactly what she needed to do.

"There's something I want to show you." When she opened her sketchbook, and some papers fell on the table. She sighed, picking them up slowly .She remembered that at Ostagar, Noah had pestered her because of the drawings, and since then, she had never touched them again. Her sketches were all thrown inside carelessly and if It wasn't for the bag, she would have lost them all. She didn't seem to notice that Alistair was holding one of them perplexed, staring at it.

He wanted to ask if she had made them, but it was too obvious. He wanted to say that the sketches were beautiful, but it seemed insufficient. Then he asked the only thing that came to his mind, "Is that you?"

Kallian looked at the paper, and a smile formed on her lips. Except for her father, everyone who saw this drawing wondered the same thing.

"It's my mother," she replied finally sitting on the chair. Alistair looked at the drawing again, more carefully this time. They had the same strong and expressive eyes, and the similarities were visible, but Kallian was different. She was just ... herself.

"It's so beautiful," he whispered, but his attention was not on the paper anymore. Kallian began to thank him, but the words escaped from her mouth as she realized those caramel eyes were staring at her so intensely. Something had changed in him, but she couldn't tell what it was – she just knew that his penetrating gaze made her ears begin to burn. The crooked smile didn't help much either.

"Th-Thanks ..." She said, looking away at the rest of the papers. Her heart began to beat wildly in her chest, and she knew she couldn't think straight if she didn't break eye contact. "I can't make you see through my eyes, but I can show you what I see, instead." She pushed the sketchbook at him slowly, but kept a parchment with its face turned down on the table next to her. All the notes, all the people important to her, all the places she'd visited ... All the good parts of her life were there, exposed for him to see.

It was the biggest proof she could give him that she wanted him around.

They stayed for hours sitting beside each other, spreading the drawings over the table. Kallian gave names to people and places and answered Alistair's questions, which weren't just a few. At first, she was a bit apprehensive about how he would react to seeing these little fragments of her memories, and what she would feel for unearthing so much at once, but to her surprise, she was happy. Rather than remembering the bad things that happened behind each drawing, she was just talking about good memories.

No pressure, no demons, no deaths - only two people, two smiles and two hearts, sharing the moment shoulder-to-shoulder.

On the last page, something caught the attention of the Templar, and made the smile finally leave Kallian's face - A humble golden ring with frayed edges laid on an unfinished drawing of a faceless elven child. Kallian took the ring, holding it in front of her eyes for a while. It was her engagement ring, given to her by Nelaros on the day of his death. She'd put the ring inside her bag the day she left home, and since then it was forgotten among her things. With a long sigh, the little elf placed it on the table, pushing it to the side. With luck, Alistair would not ask anything about it.

Actually, she _really _needed that he not ask anything - she felt a strange tightening in her stomach by thinking about the possibility of Alistair knowing about her marriage. Although he had not spoken about this subject, the topic he chose was not easy either.

"You didn't finish this," Alistair said, touching the empty space where the child's face should be.

"No," she replied, grabbing the paper. "And I don't know if I ever will."

"Why?" he asked, looking at the ring. Just because he hadn't asked, it didn't mean he hadn't been curious about it. It looked like a wedding ring, but he preferred to not think about it.

"I don't trust my memory to finish it." Kallian sighed, starting to put her drawings, one by one, back into the sketchbook. The demon had played with both her memories and feelings so much that she didn't know if what would appear on the paper would be the reality or a fake one built by the Lion. When she realized that Alistair waited patiently as she thought, she ended up feeding the curiosity that was written all over his face, "It's my brother, but he died a long time ago..." She gave him a sad smile. "Sometimes I've wanted to see his face, but I have nothing to remember me of him... I miss him so much..."

Alistair raised his hand, but dropped it soon after. He wanted to be able to do something, anything, to wipe the sadness off her face, but all he could do was whisper softly '_I'm sorry_' as he placed the last papers inside her sketchbook.

"But that wasn't what I wanted to do." Kallian swallowed all the sadness and put on her 'I'm okay' mask before he could catch the last drawing, that she had kept by her side before handing him the book. She pushed the parchment over the table for him, still with its face turned down. "I wanted to give you this."

When he picked up his new gift, his jaw dropped – it was a detailed portrait of the serious face of Duncan.

It was as if Alistair was in front of Duncan, as if he wasn't dead and everything had been nothing more than a terrible nightmare. Kallian waited in silence, just watching the Templar dealing with his emotions, keeping the tears from rolling down his cheeks. He was sad, suffering for not being able to never see his mentor again, and now she had given him this ...! It was much more that he could have expected, more than he could ask for. For many, it was a simple drawing, but for him it was a treasure that he would cherish for the rest of his life.

When he looked at her, after contemplating the drawing for a long time, his eyes were full of gratitude, admiration and, most of all, of caring - for her consideration of him and for being there with him sharing all these moments. It was a warm feeling, something different that started inside his chest and spread throughout his whole body in the form of waves, purifying any trace of resentment or anger that was still stored within it.

He wanted so much to hug her...

"I know he was important to you ..." Kallian said smiling sheepishly, starting to blush.

"...Thank you, from the bottom of my heart." He restrained himself to only holding her hand, squeezing it hard, wishing that she could be able to feel part of the emotions he was feeling. She stared in silence as the shades of pink played in her cheeks. They occasionally touched each other shoulders with their own, so close that they could feel the heat coming from the other's bodies. While she couldn't avoid his unreadable caramel eyes, he couldn't take his eyes from her slightly parted lips. They looked so soft...

Little by little, inch by inch, the distance between them was shrinking. Kallian became aware of what was happening when she felt his rapid breathing caressing her face, but she was unable to move - just stood there, feeling her own breathing accelerating as the beating of her heart deafened not only her ears, but also her thoughts.

Alistair dropped her hand, running the tips of his fingers slowly up her arm, aiming to touch the soft skin of her face. He was unaware of what he was doing - just following this overwhelming desire that had given him the courage to go ahead and give wings to this new warm feeling that had invaded his body.

However, their momentum was cut when a thunderstorm blew in through the rugged terrain near the lands of the Chantry, shaking the walls and scaring them both so much that they almost fell of their chairs.

"... What was that?" Alistair asked, bringing a hand to his chest, which lifted and fell frantically because of his rapid breathing. "Maker's breath ..."

Kallian, who brought her hands to her head to try to calm down, wasn't even a bit worried about the storm outside, but with the storm that happened _inside_. What the hell was he trying to do? Besides, what the hell was she thinking? It must have been some mistake. It had to be. It made no sense ... Why would he want to kiss her?

Noticing his confused look, she decided to answer something, before it generated more questions. "Thunder."

"Don't tell me!" He joked, still with his heart racing. He'd been most certain that he was doing what had to be done, but now that he was thinking properly, it seemed a pretty stupid idea. What was he thinking? Just when he managed to be okay with her, he would ruin everything?

After breathing in huge portions of air at once, he said, scratching his nape, "I think we should go. The sun will rise soon..." Kallian just nodded, still watching him closely. She wasn't yet able to read him, and it was so frustrating! She trusted so much in her ability to read people that this new reality left her lost, not knowing how to act. "Look... Thanks for the drawing. It means a lot to me." He smiled.

_Stupid cute smile._

"You're welcome." Kallian smiled back, keeping her sketchbook in her bag and the ring in her pocket. Maybe it had been a wrong impression, or she had been imagining things. Bah, a beautiful human like him interested in her, an elf? _Never gonna happen_, she thought.

Wait ... _Never gonna happen_? Why the hell was she thinking of possibilities?

_I need to sleep_, she thought, shaking her head.

* * *

After saying goodbye in the hallway, Kallian returned to her bedroll, her mind full of more things than she was able to process. She was laying, staring at her engagement ring. Many, many times, she tried to put it on her finger, but failed.

Again, she tried to place her finger inside the ring. Nelaros sacrificed himself to save her - it was his last wish, she knew that and wanted to honor him, but it seemed so _wrong _...

_Sorry, Nelaros_, she thought, taking off the ring for the last time. _I'll always think of you fondly, but I cannot do that._

Before sleep, the little elf placed the ring on her necklace - the closest place of her heart that he would be able to reach.

* * *

A/N: _You've been missing Noah? Don't worry, he will be back next week ;)_


	27. The Logic of the Unpredictable

**Chapter 27**

The Logic of the Unpredictable

.

_Idiot!_

That was completely unnecessary. What was he thinking?

It was the heat of the moment, an immature impulse, a childish gesture... A mistake.

It must have been that. _A mistake_.

Alistair was lying on his bedroll still unable to sleep, but for different reasons this time. If before he was upset with Kallian, now he was mad at himself.

She gave him a drawing, yes, and it was perhaps... No. It _was for sure_ the most beautiful and affectionate gesture that anyone had ever done for him. No one had _ever _shown that they cared about him the way she did. _Nobody_! Not only with him, but with his feelings, his pain and with...

_Him_... Simple as that. Nobody had ever bothered with him before.

Kallian... Someone so determined, intelligent and independent like her, must have a place reserved for him in her mind. It was so hard for him to believe that she cared for him the same way he cared about her. It was very ironic that, of all the humans he'd met, even people of the same blood as him, Alistair would find the acceptance he longed for so much in an _elf_ - a simple, humble elf, whose heart was big enough to sacrifice herself for the greater good of the country, which apparently only had ever done harm to her. Then, what he did he do? Tried to _kiss_ her!

Kallian only gave him a drawing - she hadn't asked for him to... to taste her soft, tempting lips... The thought made him shiver. Still, he'd messed up and almost lost what he wanted so much. _Idiot!_ And why? Because he'd found her beautiful, even in those old and worn clothes? Because, even without shoes and expensive acessories, as the women who very often attended Arl Eamon's fancy parties did, she was still the sexiest girl he had ever seen in his life?

_Idiot!_

He turned to his side. In the opposite corner of the room, Noah was laying on his back, frowning even while sleeping, with one arm over Shaw-Shaw, who laid sprawled beside him. Why the dog liked him, Alistair had no idea, but the affection was clearly mutual. When the small dog saw the Templar awaken, he rose slowly, dropping Noah's hand on the floor, who mumbled something incoherent before sinking his head into the pillow. Shaw-Shaw stretched lazily before walking to Alistair and dropping down beside him with sleepy little eyes, his tail waggy slowly.

"I almost made a huge mess, Shaw," Alistair whispered, stroking the dog's ears, who pushed his head against the human's hand "Heh, good boy." He smiled. "But ... If you knew what I almost did, you would want to bite me."

Shaw-Shaw raised his head and stared at him, ears standing up, as if waiting for Alistair to continue his story. Or at least that was what the Templar's groggy mind had understood.

"I broke the trust your master placed in me, Shaw," he said, slowly drawing an imaginary line from the top of the dog's head to the tip of his nose. "I dunno if she'll forgive me." His finger followed the opposite way back into his white pelage, trying to convince himself again that it had all been huge mistake and that, with luck, she wouldn't be angry with him. But even so, he couldn't avoid asking, "Will she forgive me, boy?"

His response was a very wet lick from Shaw-Shaw right inside his mouth.

"Ugh!" Alistair jumped up, spitting and wiping his mouth with the tip of the sheet, darting a betrayed look towards the dog. It was with a muffled bark that Shaw-Shaw took the chance and laid behind Alistair, settling confortably on top of his covers.

"That was part of your plan all along?" Alistair asked, but got no response. "I will lay upon you, don't think I won't. Get off of there!"

"Woof!" With another muffled bark, the dog spread out more comfortably by the bedroll, putting his head on the pillow.

"Argh, temperamental dog!" He sighed slowly, rubbing his neck.

"_Dumbass_..." Noah snorted, turning in his bedroll again.

Defeated, Alistair pushed Shaw-Shaw to the side as much as he could, claiming for himself at least the other half of the bed. _Sassy dog_. He could pick up the dog in his strong arms and take him away by force, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Your personality is as strong as your master's," Alistair said, patting the dog twice on the stomach. "So annoying, yet so..."

_Captivating._

He turned his back to the dog, puzzled again. If what had happened in the library was a truly mistake, as he was trying so fireccely to convince himself, then why could he not stop thinking about her?

* * *

It was dark. Nothing could be seen, just black - the Void itself, if someone asked him.

Noah raised his hands, but could not see them, even when, in a brief moment of confusion, he brought them to his face to wipe his eyes. Still, he wasn't able to see where he was. _Maker, it was so cold!_ However, there had no wind or cold breeze blowing to justify his jitters - it was like someting coming from inside, not outside. Even though he was fully dressed, he felt exposed, vulnerable, unable to move because of the chill that went up and down his spine as often as he breathed.

Moreover , he wasn't properly_ breathing_. It wasn't like his lungs were functioning - There was no air for him to breathe - but he was alive, or at least he thought he was.

He was nearly resigned to his situation when a warm breeze hugged his back. As enjoyable as it was, it didn't reassured him, quite the opposite - the chills became more intense than ever. In turn, two green dots flashed in the distance, like two tiny flames that seemed to burn the pitch that filled the place. By narrowing his eyes, he saw that the flames weren't just incandescent points, but the evil eyes of some huge creature whose brilliance inspired wickedness, and warm steam was its breath, which smelled like a rotten corpse, if his nose was working.

His hands flew to his back, but he didn't have his sword. His waist, also had nothing. And the beast wasn't moving - it just breathed and exhaled its villainy essence all over him.

Noah then reached out, touching the cold muzzle of the creature. The hard scales were pointed, rough enough to cut the tip of his fingers with a simple touch, but strangely it didn't bleed or hurt - it just cut, serving as an open channel for the corruption to penetrate his body, spreading through each artery of his arm, slowly and painfully. Noah didn't cry, even after feeling his arm defragmenting. He'd found that he couldn't move or run, he could only wait and feel his body being dragged forward - directly into the mouth of the beast - as if he was bound to something.

His destruction was inevitable - it was cold again, very cold and the light was no longer enough ...

Light? No, there was no light inside those corrupted flames. Only hatred and chaos shining with such intensity, reflecting the beast's wicked feelings.

Cold; he could feel the teeth of the beast craving into his skin.

Cold; he could feel the acid corruption burning his solar plexus.

Cold; The beast ran through his mind like an open book.

Hot.

A light - yes light this time - had approached from behind him, and he didn't have to turn around to be sure. But he did it anyway, and what he found was a power source that was like the sun: orange, warm and comforting. It moved like a bird, and although it wasn't bright enough to hurt his eyes, it was so intense that it soothed even the deepest corners of his soul. Its light spread with every beat of its wings, breaking the grey chains around his body, hitherto unseen, that had been dragging him throughout the ground.

When the rays hit the muzzle of the dragon, the beast turned away angrily, snarling jets of green flames aimed in the direction of the strange orange bird, which faded out after touching its glowing aura. Soon, they were only two in that empty immensity of the Fade - Noah and the great flaming bird, which had the strange power of making the young man feel normal again. More than that, to make him feel _good_.

"Who are you?" Noah asked, stunned, but got no response. The bird just blinked his eyes, which shone like gold, before flying against the walls of pitch blackness and exploding into a beautiful sunset, which extinguished all the darkness of his dream and allowed a brief glimpse of the place where he'd been, before he could awaken: A plateau covered with flowers, painted with green trees and blue sky that had existed only with the sole goal to make its visitor oblivious to the abyss beneath his feet, waiting just one last step to suck him directly into the darkness.

* * *

**Noah**

I'll never forget that day.

I woke up to the sound of war coming from under the door - steps of heavily armored figures running from one side to the other along the corridor. It was impossible to sleep with so much agitation. To be honest, I even tried to convince myself that it was Templar business, and that it had nothing to do with the Blight, but I couldn't. Not after that strange dream.

Again I dreamed of the Archdemon - chains pulling me into the abyss, straight to the heart of the Darkspawn horde; All the evil that blasted dragon emanated, the suffocating darkness that surrounded me wherever I looked...

I knew very well that it wasn't the first, the second, or even the last nightmare I would have with these vicious beasts, but still I couldn't help but be intrigued with that strange creature.

Incidentally, I was also intrigued at how well I was able to remember the Fade - just as clearly as I could see the room I was in now - every detail, every feeling, every touch... All etched in my mind as if it was a memory of something that had happened just the day before. I wasn't a mage, nor had any magical ability, but still, that night I walked into the paths of the Fade like one of them.

After the third group pass by our door, I'd decided that I couldn't stay there any longer. The rain was still falling hard, but it didn't lash the windows with the same force, nor threaten to topple the trees as it had in the day before. There wasn't lightning cutting the sky, but still I had the impression that there was a storm inside the room - the _Stupid_ snored like a pig with asthma, hugging the dog as he slept. I don't know how Shaw-Shaw could stand that troll puffing on his ear. By the time he'd returned to the room, I couldn't say that I hadn't expected it to be any different. I just pretended I hadn't had seen him entering the room with the first rays of the morning, because frankly it's none of my business, and even if it was, I didn't care.

Anyway, I wore my new armor - after taking some parts off, of course - with a strong feeling tightening my chest. It was a different anxiety, constant, not mingled with pain or with any other feeling I was familiar with, and because it was different from anything that I'd ever felt, it bothered me a lot. All I knew is that it was related to the fire bird of my dreams.

If he was a threat like I would have expected, I think I'd be feeling better, but no - it seemed that peace itself emanated from its body, and everything it touched had became strangely pure, tranquil. He saved me from the abyss, from the heart of darkness, but why? What was it?

Most important: _Why its presence was so familiar_?

I couldn't explain it, but it was like I already knew that bird. As if I had seen him before, like a sort of inverse deja vu: Although I had never seen it in my life, I felt that its ... energy - yes, maybe I can put it that way - I'd known it long time ago. Simply _familiar_.

It meant something. Trouble, probably, but it mattered not: if it was strong enough to stir my senses, it was enough to get my full attention. I never ignore a bad feeling, and if my guts told me that I had to leave, then it was because I_ had_ to leave.

In the end, I ended up going after the elf, not to share my dream, but to try to convince her to pack up her things and leave this city. If she didn't believe me, then I would leave on my own.

* * *

**Kallian**

I dreamed about Denerim again. It was late at night, the city lights were lit and shone suffocated by darkness.

There was no torture.

It was the first time that it had ever been night in the Fade, and that terrified me at first. I mean, I have a problem with dark places, so I couldn't help but think the worst. To my greatest happiness and my deep concern, nothing had happened. I thought I'd seen a lion, I thought I'd seen a dragon, but in the end it was just me and the gray skies of Ferelden. Even though I had lost consciousness for only a few minutes, it was enough for me to wake up trembling atop a puddle of sweat.

"Da'shal?" Mahariel whispered, still lying on her bedroll. I could see her green eyes staring at me seriously through the light of the thunders outside.

I was shaking like a leaf, my head buried in my hands. My eyes were still tired from the long exposure to the darkness of the Fade, but my vision was clear enough to show me that she was worried.

"I'm fine, Eilleen." I answered, without trusting completely in my voice.

She looked at me, studying every aspect of my tired figure before saying, "No, you're not."

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, allowing them to linger behind my head.

"The ghosts do not let you sleep?" Eileen asked, sitting silently on her bedroll.

"Did they wake you?" I laughed without humor, hugging my knees. "No, I'm not afraid of ghosts. I believe that the dead can haunt as much as the living do."

"You'd be surprised," she said, and I realized something obvious that was there all along, but I hadn't noticed yet.

Eilleen had her own ghosts.

"How do you handle them?" I asked, resting my cheek on my knees as I watched her.

"I let them talk," she replied calmly as if it were obvious, but without arrogance.

It made sense, though I hadn't seen how this would solve my problem. Still, I decided to ask anyway, "And how does that help?"

"It does not." Eileen sighed. Her gaze lingered over Tamlen's bow - I think that was his name - before returning to me, sadder than ever. "I prefer to think that they just like to be heard."

I opened my mouth, but then closed it. Suddenly it was no longer about me, or about my problems, or about my nightmares. It was about consciousness, perhaps - our pain, our loss, our regrets ...

You know, I'd never thought about it, but I kinda wanted the ghosts to speak with me. I wanted to hear their voices again, coming from themselves and not from the throat of that damned beast. I wanted to know they were there, and what they had to say, that's it, _if_ they had something to say at all.

Curious and worried about pushing her limits too much, I asked anyway, "What do they say?"

It took her a while to answer me, and when she did, her voice was just a muffled whisper. "I do not know ..." I could hear her sighing heavily. "That's why it is so upsetting." Mahariel lay back again, hugging her covers more tightly than necessary. "What do yours say to you?"

I also lay on the bedroll, feeling the weight of the world on my eyelids, but without any pretense of sleep. What did my ghost say?

The language of chaos - Death was his voice, and pain, his tongue. There wasn't quite a message to be transmitted, only a circle of infinite hatred that was renewed at every cry of despair.

I looked into her tired eyes, and the truth didn't take too long to escape from my lips.

"_He does not speak._"

Nothing more was said was that night.

- x -

In the morning, I'd heard several footsteps passing in front of our door. Heavily armored soldiers complaining about a Qunari, immediate reinforcements and a murderer on a farm, in the north of Lothering. Not that I wanted to get involved, but they definitely seemed to be in trouble, and while I decided whether if I should leave the room or not, I'd noticed a pair of hesitant feet walking in small circles in front of the door.

He was no guard or templar, because I couldn't hear the creak of his heavy armor when he moved. Maybe it was Alistair... He always had trouble with these things.

_Alistair..._

I hoped it wasn't him. I didn't know how I would face him after after last night.

Maybe he was just... thanking me. A hug or a kiss on the cheek, as I'd so often seen other people do. It wasn't logical to think that it had been something else, right?

Right. I wanted to open the window to get some fresh air, but it was still raining and I didn't want to mess up the room. And his feet were still restless, so sooner or later I would have to open the door.

"For all intents and purposes," said Mahariel before I could do anything, and I nearly jumped, startled. "I am not here."

I frowned, staring at her suspiciously. Something told me that her reaction was related to what had happened between her and Noah when they were alone, but it wasn't more than speculation since neither of them had said anything. When she showed no sign that she had any intention to explain, I asked, "Did something happen?"

Clearly puzzled, she stared at the window for a long time in silence. I was just about to give up waiting for her answer, when she finally decided to speak, soon after the feet moved away from the door. "I can not understand him."

I laughed. Definitely she was talking about Noah. "And do you think that I understand him?"

She frowned. "So it seems."

I laughed again, earning an angry look from her. I thought she would bite me, but it wasn't my intention to sound funny. "Ah, Eilleen ... Noah is unpredictable."

"That's the problem!" She said, rubbing her forehead with her fingertips. "I can't see a pattern in his behavior. It's too frustrating to travel with someone like him. I do not know what goes on inside his head..."

"Do you know what goes on inside mine, then?" I watched her opening her mouth to answer me, but all I got was silence. I knew what she meant about Noah - I myself felt really uncomfortable in dealing with his bipolarity at first, when for me, he was just another bloody bastard. This, however, wasn't exactly my point. Her feelings towards Noah were much like my feelings towards Alistair. She couldn't see a pattern or logic in his unpredictable ways that could make their acquaintanceship comfortable enough for her to be at ease.

In the end, she just shook her head.

I didn't understand Noah either, or see the logic she sought so much as she had alleged before. Much less I was I able to understand Alistair, who in my opinion was much more intriguing than Grumpy. After all, somehow I'd always expected Noah's bad behavior, his taunts and provocations, but I could never say that I'd expected any of the Templar's attitudes until now. Alistair always acted against my expectations, doing exactly the opposite of what, to me, would be logical.

Noah and I existed in harmony, so to speak. On the battlefield, I knew I wouldn't find a better ally, and somehow, we worked very well together. But other than that, we had a peaceful coexistence, where one does not interfere in the other's life. It was almost a professional relationship, and honestly, I stopped worrying about him a long time ago.

But Alistair was different ... It was no longer a matter of merely coexisting, but more like actually living together, you know? He wanted to create a bond and made a point of, not just keeping me in his life, but also to have my friendship. Not to say that he cared about me as if I was his long-time companion. It was scary in a way, and I'd felt threatened at first because of it, but I kind of liked it.

Knowing that I had a friend in the middle of the mess that my life was now made me feel good. And I couldn't say that I didn't care about him too.

I meant every word that I said to him.

Although I still had a few reservations about having a human in my life, I couldn't say that I'd learned nothing about them in the almost four weeks of living together. I watched them closely enough to know a thing or two about their behavior, their manners and their personalities. So I just said what I'd felt it was right - my personal truth.

"I know that, for you, Noah is the villain." For the record, she flinched when she heard those words. "But if you ask me, I'd say he'd come back to save you."

"Kallian," she called me sternly. "He is human..."

"But he cares." I replied, waiting for the restless steps to return. Eileen couldn't contain the traces of anger in her expression, and again I had the impression that she was going to bite me.

"_He. Is. Human!_" The tone she used was quite alarming, but I didn't blame her. I understood her point of view, I really did, but I couldn't ignore everything that had happened between us. Everything that had happened last night. Everything that had happened since the beginning, and be sure it was a lot, far more than I'd ever expected to experience when I took those firsts steps out of Denerim. He was going through a difficult time, as we all were, and now I understood that. Now I understood what Duncan meant when he'd introduced us. As much as Grumpy still refused to call me by my name, I witnessed glimpses of his kindness during his outbreaks of bipolarity, which were so common at the beginning.

Actually, they were still there. One moment he wanted to throw me off the bridge, in the next he was defending me in the Inn. I was already seeing things differently - I just hadn't noticed it yet.

The medicinal herbs, back in the Dalish camp, his constant intervention against those who disrespected us, the fact that he always left a torch lit, even after arguing with us about the fire... They were all small clues that made me believe that he cared more than it seemed.

"Stop using your eyes, Eilleen," I said with conviction, not feeling intimidated by her furious look. "Behind that thorny appearance, there is a badly injured man. Such brutality is one of the ways he's found to face his pain. Don't let appearances fool you - deep inside, he is not a bad person. And you that know very well, because if you really believed in your words, you wouldn't be confused as you are now, hiding yourself instead of facing him. Am I right? " I stopped, giving her time to think.

She didn't need to say anything. When her gaze diverted from mine, I got my answer.

"So should I just pretend that nothing ever happened and start provoking him, like you do?" She rose from her bedroll, indignantly. "I'm not a hypocrite, Da'shal. His kin have enslaved mine for centures." She started to pace around the room. "Guys like him kill and torture my people - no, _our people_ - every day." I heard every word carefully, and I must say that I was increasingly convinced that she was, to some extent, a reflection of my younger self. "I can not pretend that everything is fine, because I can never forget what humans have done. I can't pretend that I think that our coexistence is normal and acceptable, as you do."

If you are human, then you are vile, and if you're an elf, you are a slave.

They were two sides of the same coin - a true reciprocal. The premise was valid for both sides, and now I understood it, really, but I was long past the aggression phase. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a good person. Not really. I_ want_ to make them pay. The old man in the bar? Yeah, that knife was supposed to hit his neck, and it nearly didn't happen. My soul was not pure - revenge would eat into it everywhere like a contagious disease, and I'd had tantrums in the past that can prove my words.

But then you learn to _judge_. You learn to _ponder_. You learn to _see_, to _hear_ ... You see that in the midst of so much wrong there are some things that are right, and this gives life you self-control - something that makes you _stop_ before you hit, and makes you wonder if you really want to carry more blood and more deaths upon your shoulders. Even if the desire to get revenge for every small insult is strong, you simply _stop._

I always talked a lot of shit, thought a lot of shit and threatened many people, but the truth is that it's been years since I killed a human. Except, of course, for the bad guys and the ones who obviously wanted to kill me. Self-control has served me well, and even though I never liked humans, very often I'd prefered to let my instincts guide me, and mistrust was my best friend. This _human friend _thing was still too fresh to me and I still had a bit of trouble in dealing with it, but overall, passivity helps to distinguish aggression from indifference, and in the end, you just learn how to deal with them.

"You have to find your own way to deal with Noah," I said, and then, Leliana could no longer pretend to be asleep. "The bickering is the way I've found to pull him out of the darkness of his mind and bring him closer of what I believe to be his true self. When we are exchanging barbs, he has no time to brood and relive everything that happened to him." I took a deep breath, never diverging my eyes from hers. "I know that, because for me, it's not different - all I can do is focus all my efforts in coming off better in the argument and making him lose." I smiled.

"This is madness," she growled quietly, tying her hair back into a high ponytail. Her armor was already on her body, so she was probably ready to leave if she wanted to do so.

"Really? Very well, then." I stood and walked until I could face her, untying the small dagger off my thigh and pushed it into her hands as soon as our gazes met. By a happy coincidence of fate, Noah's heavy footsteps approached the door again, so I could give emphasis to my words by pointing in his direction. "Go ahead - take this blade and kill him, if it will satisfy your conscience." My words were harsh, but I kept my tone low enough so only she would be able to hear. "Kill every human who crosses your path, and feed your beliefs with their blood. But know that you may rid the world of many demons, that's for sure, but know that among the impure, there will also be innocent ones - Fathers, mothers, sisters and children that will haunt your dreams and will only serve to keep the circle of hatred and chaos in which we live alive, and in the end, your hate will gradually turn you into one of them."

I saw Leliana open her mouth, but she said nothing. She looked at me intensely, apparently conscious of everything I said. She had a high degree of acquiescense in her eyes at my words, as was expected for a sister devoted to the Maker. I could risk to say that there was even a bit of admiration as well, but the last thing I wanted was to be was pretentious.

With or without her approval, I would finish my speech.

"This is no longer about Noah. He is only the beginning of what the future will bring to us - other people that we'll have to face, far worse than him that we will have to deal without our weapons." I took my knife back from the hands of Eilleen, who seemed to be too busy processing all the information to demonstrate any kind of reaction. "_Eyes_, Mahariel." I pointed to myself. "We are born with _six well-sharpened senses_ - There's no reason to hold onto only one."

I didn't wait for her answer - just patted her shoulder and went out of the room to meet Noah, before he could make a hole in the floor with his pacing.

* * *

_Thanks for reading! ;D_


	28. The One I Trust

**A/N**:_ Hohoho! Look at me! Following the schedule again! Yay! \o/_

_Chapter 15th is already fixed, thanks to __**JordanMathias**__. :D_

_Thanks for reading! And for the reviews, too! :D_

* * *

**Chapter 28**

The One I Trust

**.**

**Noah**

The elf had opened the door before I could knock, as if she was waiting for me or something. It was weird, but I was grateful it was the redhead who greeted me. That way, I would not have to explain my reasons to the others. Which was a good thing, believe me, mostly because I was not in the mood to deal with idiots. The current circusntances, however, were quite intriguing, and I couldn't help but make some conclusions of my own. Her appearance was deplorable, to say at least - visibly tired, with deep, dark circles under her eyes and heavy eyelids. She had the look of someone who hadn't slept the night. So,the Stupid was with her... What a joke.

I won't lie - I'd expected more from her.

She looked at me in... Well, in that unique way she had, but didn't seem surprised by my presence there. Something in my expression made her frown deeply, and instead of using that mocking tone she kept especially for me, her tone was serious when she spoke to me.

"Is there something wrong, Noah?" She asked, and I could also hear a bit of concern in her voice. Either she was very good at reading people, or I gave myself away very easily. More likely the second option, I think.

"Yes," I answered without thinking too much. "No."

She just raised an eyebrow. Damn, what would I tell her? That I had a bad feeling? She would laugh in my face, and she would have a right to do so. I had to put my cards on the table in a different way.

"I cannot help you if you won't explain the problem. Don't you agree?" She crossed her arms, after closing the door behind her.

"The Tree Hugger's there?" I asked, changing the subject. I tried to talk to her the night before, but she'd avoided me in every possible way, until she'd finally hidden inside the room. As far as I remember, she stayed there for a long time. How could I prove to her that I wasn't the kind of person she thought I was if she refused to talk to me?

The Elf's eyes narrowed, staring at me in that way again. She opened her mouth, probably to answer me, but obviously changed her mind. By the strange flame that had started to burn inside her eyes, I knew that I wouldn't like where this was going.

"What happened between you two?" She asked, leaning against the door frame.

"I asked you first." I growled, not caring at all to if I sounded childish. She just smiled skeptically.

"This is not a game, Noah." She sighed, but appeared to have no intention of answering me. "I told you, I cannot help you if you don't tell me what's going on."

"Will you tell me what happened between you and the Templar last night, then?" I asked, and apparently had poked her wound with mastery. She looked down suddenly, trying to avoid me, but even so, I could see her cheeks flushing while the shades of pink spread through the tips of her ears. Maker, something _really _had happened last night, and it was serious! I didn't know whether I should be surprised or disappointed.

"You have a point," she growled, vexed, still staring at the floor. I almost felt bad for her.

We were silent for a long time. I should have left her there, but I found myself unable to move or say anything. I just waited. I still had another matter to talk to her about, but I wasn't sure if I would be able to do it after this. She was against the wall, and I wasn't referring to the literal sense of the word. I know that, because she was hugging her body, still avoiding eye contact. Yes, for the first time, I'd disarmed the elf. The insolent and insubordinate el,f who had no fear to face anyone, had lost her voice.

I'd though she wouldn't answer me, not after the way I'd talked to her. Actually, I expected her to give me her back and shut the door right in my face, but in the end, we both just stood there, still and silent, just waiting for something to happen.

I snorted heavily when I realized that this whole situation wasn't going anywhere. The elf also sighed, before bringing her hand to her forehead, as tired as I was. Our conversations were never easy, quite the opposite - they were exhausting, full of tension, codes and half words. But ... of all people with whom I could speak, I knew she was the only one who would take me seriously. She was the only one who could understand me .

So, I decided to talk about my bad feeling. She would figure out a way to find out about it anyway. But apparently my mouth had other plans.

"She's avoiding me." I confessed, and I mentally cursed everyone I knew after that.

The elf looked at me, partially surprised, partly skeptical. I could see it, even with part of her face still buried in one hand. She clearly didn't believe that I had opened up to her. Well, _I_ didn't believe what I just did.

"I thought that you don't trust her. That you don't care." The elf finally moved away from the wall, letting her arms fall to her sides. "What made you change your mind?"

"She thinks I'm like Howe." I frowned, and I was aware that I was grimacing, but I didn't give a shit. "I'm not like Howe. I'm not _bad_." No, wait ... That sounded weird, childish and silly. Maker, I was whimpering like a kid! "I mean, I am _bad_, but not in the way she's thinking!"

"Uh, okay." She nodded slowly, but it was written on her face that she didn't understand a word I'd said. However, she continued before I could open my mouth. "Let me see if I understand you correctly: You screwed up and now your conscience is heavy."

Damn elf. She also knew how to poke a wound with mastery. But I couldn' t let her get away with this so easily, so, with a hoarse growl from my throat, I punched the door frame, right next to her face.

"I'm not kidding." I said, but she wasn't intimidated. She never was. Yet, it didn't hurt to try.

"Nor am I, Grumpy," She replied, crossing her arms again. "But that's what happened, right? You can try to hide it behind pretty words, but deep down you know I'm right."

I snorted. "Indeed."

Instead of that mischevious look that I must confess that I'd expected, she simply smiled. No sarcasm, no arrogance - she just smiled.

"What about me?" She asked, and now I could recognize the playful tone in her voice.

" What about you?" I asked, not understanding where she was going. But, once again, I didn't like it.

"You never bothered to convince _me_ that you're not _bad_," She joked. I frowned and looked away into the hall, to avoid her knowing gaze.

"You _hate_ me. It's different." I grumbled. She just laughed, but before she could open her mouth to ask, I raised my hand to stop her. I needed to explain. "You don't _like_ me, but you know that I'm not a bad person. She doesn't know! The Tree hugger not only hates me, but she also fears me. _Fear_! Do you know what that means?" I asked her, starting to pace in front of the door. "She looks at me like if I am going to hurt her." I was talking too much, but I couldn't care less. Now that I'd started it, I was going to end it. "Maker forgive me, but when she looks at me, I feel like a thug, a rapist or worse!" I punched the wall once, twice, three times until the blood oozed from my knuckles. It was very frustrating!

"Well, you wanted to leave her rotting on the road. She has her reasons."

"That was different." I growled, still angry.

The elf waited in silence, her expression somber. It wasn't as if she hadn't been taking me seriously from the beginning, but I think she finally understood how grave this situation was. Anyway, she gave me the space I needed - space to think, space to organize my head, or simply time for me to solve my pending issues with the wall. What matters is that she waited, patiently and quietly.

More Templars passed us, visibly frightened by my attitude. Bunch of cowards. If they were afraid of one man, I couldn't wait to see them facing the entire horde. Was I angry with the Templars? Yes, a lot. They were the root of all my problems, and the major reason why I'd chosen to leave the Tree Hugger behind.

I punched the wall again, more angrily this time. The Templars had not only stolen my sister, but also destroyed her dreams and confined her to a tower. That's the fate of all who have magic running in their veins. Yet, if that was the whole story, I wouldn't be so angry, because at least I would know that she was safe. But, because of a bloody Templar, she had to become an apostate, and because of a blighted coward, she was sentenced to live in darkness forever. And I don't even know where she is! She could be dead now, and it was because of _them._

I punched the wall over and over again, harder each time I hit it, but before I could break my hand, the elf grabbed me by the wrist, and her touch was as light as a feather.

"That's enough," she told me softly, but I could clearly hear her words. "Don't let your anger destroy you, Noah. You're stronger than that." She rolled out my bandage and relocated it to where it was bleeding. "Mahariel will understand. Just give her time to absorb everything that happened to her." She smiled. "And someday, when you least expect, she will _only_ hate you."

I laughed, letting my head fall forward. Of all the things she could have said, that wasn't even on the list. Damn elf. She giggled, before tying the makeshift bandage again, and moved a few steps away from me. I looked at the door, then at her, and the question was almost inevitable.

"She's inside, isn't she?"

Her surprised expression was my answer. I took two steps toward the door, but despite having short legs, the elf was really fast - she stood in front of me before I could take a third step.

"No." She said, looking at me reproachfully.

"Move, elf." I warned, stepping to the side. She followed me, staying firmly in my way. Sassy half-pint... Her expression was so decided that she almost convinced me.

I laughed again, but this time with no humor. She had half of my height. Did she really think that she could stop me? Really?

"Elf, I can lift you with one hand," I said with my best sarcastic smile. "We both know that I can get you out of the way in the space of a heartbeat."

"And we both know that you won't do it." Did I mention that I don't like the way she looks at me? It was bold, strong and firm - it seemed that she not only believed that she could do the impossible if she wanted to, but she also had the power to convince other people that she could, too.

Again, I snorted. She was right, and we both knew it. I didn't need to say anything. She already knew that she had won this round.

"You cannot force this kind of situation, Grumpy." She said, putting both hands on the door frame, as if she was still afraid that I would force my way in. "If you go in there now, she'll be even more angrier with you. Let it be - it will happen in its own time."

I growled, but decided to do it her way - just raised my hands in a sign of truce.

"You know you're being bossy, right?" I asked, a little less tense. In a way, I was right to come talk to her. She might have her flaws, and they were many more than I could count, but at least now I was sure that she wasn't as dumb as the others. Definitely, she was not just an ordinary elf - she was aware of what was happening around her, and danced according to the song.

And I was sure of that when she replied, "Yep, and you have no idea of how much fun it is."

You know what I wanted to do? Open a hole in the wall with my bare hands and throw her through it. Before I could swear, however, another group of Templars passed us. I could see that the elf was also intrigued by their mobilization, because this time she'd followed them with her eyes until they turned the corner of the hallway, before she turned her attention back to me.

"They found a Qunari assassin on a farm on the outskirts of Lothering, from what I heard. Apparently this whole mess is to stop him." The elf said, crossing her arms. "But then, something tells me that you didn't come here just to talk about Mahariel."

"Bunch of idiots," I muttered quietly at the Templars, before actually paying attention to her question. "What makes you think that?"

"Your brows are contracted, but you're not frowning." She pointed and I brought my hand to my forehead to check it, unconsciously. "You do this often. What else worries you?"

Everything was written on my forehead?

"Well, I..." I cleared my throat. "I had a dream ..." I started, and my voice came out as a whisper. It was pretty awkward, but it had to be done.

"About Mahariel?" She asked, and if I wasn't familiar with that half smirk of hers, I would have said that it was only an innocent comment. But I new better.

"_Elf_ ..." I growled, lingering on every letter, so deeply that I didn't even recognize my own voice.

"Right, sorry." She supressed another laugh, before clearing her throat and reestablishing her serious expression. "What did you dream about?"

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. As time passed, the images became more and more confused. "Something involving the Archdemon, a very dark place and a Fire Bird."

She was thoughtful for a long time, focusing her gaze on a fixed point on the wall as if she was thinking. Occasionally her eyes moved slightly from side to side, as if she was reading a book, but I was pretty sure that despite her nonchalant expression, she was considering a lot inside that empty head.

When she suddenly looked back at me, I drew my head back, defensively. She was strangely serious when she asked me, "That bird told you something?"

"No," I replied, still surprised by her reaction. "Why? Should it have?"

"I don't know," she replied, and something told me that she was not sincere in her answer. "The place, the bird... Do they have any meaning to you? I mean, did something weird happened?"

"Everything," I replied. "I was the only normal thing in the whole situation."

"You're not helping." She sighed. Another small group of Templars passed us in the meanwhile, and this time I couldn't stand still anymore.

"Oh, shit..." I mumbled, before following them. I wanted to understand my dream, but this Qunari problem was getting on my nerves. I wanted to know what was happening. Perhaps that was the source of my bad feeling, and if I could help somehow, maybe it would go away.

I heard the elf calling my name two or three times, but I ignored her and went downstairs.

* * *

**Kallian**

I returned to the room, slamming the door angrily.

How dare he! He'd thrown his weird dream at me and just left, without even finishing the conversation, as if it was a normal thing! _Void take him._ This bird could be a demon, or some creature of the Fade playing tricks, or trying to give him a message. Reach him. Whatever! There are so many possibilities and that... that... _Grumpy_ left me without an explanation.

Damn Noah.

I was going after him, of course! I grabbed my bag, packed the rest of my stuff and put on my armor hastily before returning to door.

Leliana and Mahariel looked at me, frightened, probably wondering whether they should say something.

"Da'shal?" Mahariel called, frowning a bit.

"I'll check out the Qunari everyone is talking about. I'll meeting you here as soon as I have a clue." I replied, opening the door. "Did you'd heard our conversation?"

The Dalish just nodded, looking away.

"This is Noah," I said, placing two fingers on my temple. "Unpredictable. Think about it" I let my daggers lose inside the sheaths. "Look,I can cover you as long as you need, but you know very well that you cannot hide from him forever."

I left without waiting for their reaction.

* * *

_Just a small interlude before the main event! Stay tunned!_


	29. Giant Problem

**A/N: **_Hey there! How've been? I'm fine, but some things are a bit out of control. Last week was a busy one, everything seemed to happen at once! I got a bit sick, then I had some A/C problems and now I'm experiencing some problems with my computer, so this will probably be the last chapter I will post for a while. My laptop will be send to repair still this week, so I don't have any idea about how long it will take to get it back. (Soon, I hope, but there's no way to know.)_

_Don't worry, tho. I will still be working on the chapters, of course! And thanks for the reviews of the last chapter. Is nice to know that you're still there :)_

_Okay, enough talk! Enjoy and see you later!_

* * *

**Chapter 29**

Giant problem

.

**Kallian**

I'd crossed the corridors and climbed down the stairs, hoping to reach Grumpy before he could leave the Chantry. He was pretty fast when he wanted to be, and even being reasonably quick myself, I highly doubted that I would get to him in time.

To my surprise, I'd found him standing near the main entrance, but I did not speak to him at first. In fact, I found myself hiding behind one of the pillars when I heard a little elven boy calling his name as he ran towards Noah .

Did I mentioned that Grumpy was _smiling_?

Part of me was afraid reveal myself and ruin the moment. Grumpy apparently knew the boy, because as soon as the little one approached him, my bipolar companion held the boy in his arms with great affection. So, who would have guessed that our Grumpy had a heart made of butter behind all that grumpiness? How cute... The boy hugged him affectionately as well , and it was impossible to contain my own smile.

I was right to give Noah a second chance. I knew he had something good hidden behind all those spikes.

"So, how's your mom?" I'd heard Noah asking, running his hand on the little boy's messy hair.

"She's better!" The boy smiled. "It seems that the mommy's foot is not hurting anymore. We're gonna leave town still today!"

"Very good." Noah smiled again. "Where are you going?"

"To Grandpa's house, in Denerim!" He replied proudly. "There's a big, big tree there that rises so high in the sky that we can climb forever and never reach the top!"

_Vhenedhal_ ... I'd smiled again. I think the dream of every child in the Alienage is to reach the highest branch of the tree, only to feel the sky stroking their hair and to be able to touch the stars with their fingertips ... It was my brother's dream, but he never made it.

No... That was _my _dream. He was very afraid of high places, but even so, he was always climbing higher than me, to encourage me to overcome my own fears and go in search of my dreams. I never made it either. Ironically, I'd never tried to climb it again.

It was too hard.

Before my stupid nostalgia could end up in tears, the boy's sweet voice broke through my thoughts.

"Ah!" The little boy began to blush. "I forgot to give it back ..." He began to unwind a bandage from his small arm, but Noah stopped him.

"You like it, don't you?" Noah asked.

"Y-yes," the boy stammered bashfully, blushing violently from his cheeks to the tips of his little ears.

"Do you wanto to keep it, then?" Noah asked, and the way the boy had burried his head in Noah's neck had given him his answer.

The innocence of a child was invigorating.

"If I wear this bandage ..." He asked so quietly that if I wasn't an elf, I wouldn't have been able to hear. "Can I be as strong as you?"

"Yes, little champion," Noah smiled. "If you try really hard, you may be even stronger than me when you grow up."

The boy nodded vigorously, with such a contagious smile on his face, that for a brief moment, I believed once again that magic that can make us feel as if we could touch the sky, only by standing in a spot high enough .

"Nihael!" A female voice cried almost at my side, and I had to hold myself to not to jump. I didn't see her face very well, but she was a black-haired elf, apparently. Perhaps the boy's mother, because in the next moment, the so-called Nihael was back on the floor, running towards her. Grumpy's smile never left his lips as he followed the boy with his eyes until they both vanished up the stairs.

I waited a little more before I talked to him, of course. I didn't need him angry with me for for spying on him. I expected him to leave before I could follow, but you know how unpredictable Noah can be, right?

"You can get out of there, elf," Noah growled, still smiling, but in his usual tone of an angry troll. Emphasis on the part where he was looking toward my pillar, please. I could not pretend that he was not talking to me.

"How did you know?" I asked, stepping out from my hideout with both hands raised in a sign of surrender.

"You have no idea how loud you are," he replied, frowning in that very familiar way, and breaking the magic of the moment.

"So...?" I asked as I came to stand by his side. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing," he replied crossing his arms. "But you will witness my sword flying on your head if you don't shut up."

I laughed. I think he hadn't done that before, and even though his expression was not even close to being a nice one, I was satisfied. This was a breakthrough - the fact that he was joking around - and every second I'd spent smiling, the deeper his frown became. And I'll tell you, his ability to contract his eyebrows was amazing. One day they will end up on his chin, so intensely does he force them down.

"Okay, Grumpy, right." I said, clearing my throat, but still smiling. "Forget what I said."

He growled quietly, his lips twitching as if to bite me, but he just opened the door for me to pass.

The day was an almost perfect replica of the previous night - gray sky with heavy clouds obscuring the sun, with a slight chill breeze blowing once in a while, carrying the fine drizzle that fell on us.

Noah realized that I was still staring at him from the corner of my eye and soon became suspicious - he took a stride and stood in front of me, blocking my way.

"Speak." He demanded, crossing his arms.

I pretended I didn't understand, "Speak... what?"

"I know this particular silly smile very well," he shrugged. "You don't fool me. Sooner or later you'll end up saying some stupid comment, so save my time and patience and speak at once ..."

"If I say what I'm thinking right now ..." I crossed my arms as well. "You'll really want to throw that sword of yours at me."

"I have craved that _since I met you_." He growled, emphasizing each word. "So it makes no difference."

"Oh, I feel flattered." I strayed from Grumpy and started walking toward the road, and he soon followed me. I knew he was still waiting for answers, but I couldn't help but take a little time just to spy the curious expression hidden behind his scowl.

"You know it was really _cute_, right?" I teased with a smirk on my face.

"It was _not_ cute." He muttered, upset, and making a slight pout.

"Sure was," I threw back my head, so I could look at his face. He walked the few steps behind me, and soon I saw the pout writhe in frustration over his clenched teeth. Wait, what was that on his cheeks? A flush?

"You're spending too much time with that Templar," He muttered, looking away. "That stupidity of his is starting to affect your judgment ..."

"It is a done deal, Grumpy ..." I stopped abruptly and held in my laugh when I saw him nearly falling to the ground to avoid running over me. When I turned to face him, for some reason, his blush deepened. "You're getting _soft_!" I said smiling, putting my hands on my hips.

"What?" He said shaking his head slowly. "You lost your mind!?" He threatened, even with his red cheeks. "Stop talking nonsense, elf!"

I laughed. "Our Grumpy is _softening_!" I teased.

"You have no idea how much I want to hit you ..." He growled under his breath, looking away.

"... Or should I call you _Bashful*_ from now on?"

I thought he was really going to punch me. Really. Or that he would growl, yell, swear, break a tree, anything of the sort. But he did nothing - not even deepen the frown that was already on his face. He only said one word, a single magic word, in a voice strangely calm and low.

"_Run._"

I was out of Lothering before he could pull the sword from his back.

* * *

**Noah**

Son of a ...!

Let her be. Let her think that she'd won. The first opportunity I have, I'll return the favor.

_Little bitch_.

She stopped running when we reached the city limits, and soon we were walking side by side again, in a comfortable silence. I noticed that, this time, she carried her daggers firmly attached to her waist, both loose inside their sheath.

Apparently I wasn't the only one who was aware of the storm we would probably face. I just think that even someone like her had no idea of the real_ size _of the problem.

The Qunari was stupidly huge - and I was not just talking about his height. He was tall and strong, nearly as large as an ogre. He had no horns, only white dreads on his head, and violet eyes just like Shaw-Shaw's.

It was possible to see the trail of destruction he'd left, from the small, modest house to the plantations, which was where he was now. There were broken walls, bodies and various brands scattered everywhere. Blood dripped from his hands and his armor as if it were water, and he seemed quite comfortable with it. In fact, I'd say he was angry enough that nothing would bother him.

Swords and spears didn't seem to bother the Qunari either - He grabbed blade after blade with his own bare hands as if they were made of wood, before knocking down their owners. One by one, the remaining guards of Lothering fell to the ground, moaning with pain or fainting after a few blows from the dark giant. Those who were still standing - most Chantry Templars - their morale so low that they were about as useful as frightened kittens. Bunch of useless ... I can only imagine what that Qunari would do if he had a weapon...

Well, he might be strong, but I was too. I don't get intimidate that easily, and it was past time for someone to teach a lesson to these incompetents.

This beast would fall, in one way or another.

* * *

**Kallian**

Never in my life had I seen a Qunari. Only in books, but that didn't count. If everyone were like him, then Qunari was a new definition of the word _big_. He was even taller than Noah, and I had already thought that Grumpy was a giant ...

Height complexes aside, I felt sorry for the guards. They were so afraid that I could hear the metal clanging of their trembling legs. They were afraid for good reason - The Qunari had just raised a Templar with both hands above his head, growling menacingly, and I didn't doubt that he would break the poor guy in two. In his struggle to get down, his helmet fell to the ground, and when I saw the face of the red-haired boy behind the armor, my heart stopped.

He seemed to no older than thirteen years.

I felt an urgency to save him, not just because he reminded me of my brother, but because he was still a child... He wasn't supposed to be wielding a sword. Incidentally, none of them should have been.

Looking around, I realized that all those Templars didn't seem to be older than me. Their bodies were lost in the great armor, and most were holding their swords with fear and probably without proper training. And worse, I don't doubt that they were there because they were forced to be.

War is hell...

Daggers in hand, I ran towards the Qunari. He would not kill that kid, or anyone else. Not while I was around.

Or at least that was the initial idea. Grumpy had other plans, apparently. He grabbed me by the collar of my blouse and pulled me back, right to his side. I felt like a desperate dog running after the cat without considering the rope tied around his neck. I guess I just didn't fall back because he was still firmly holding my blouse, probably afraid that I would try to run again.

"Noah!" I exclaimed indignantly, trying to get free, but he was keen to keep me in the place. "Noah, he'll kill the boy ..."

"He'll kill _you_ if you go there," he said, pulling his sword from his back. "Look at him; he can tear you in two with only his pinky."

"Noah, I'm not joking," I warned him with my best serious tone, but he wasn't convinced.

"Neither am I. You won't go anywhere." He said, nailing the sword in the ground in front of me, still holding my blouse. The Qunari threw the boy against the others and fixed his gaze on us.

I growled loudly in response, but before I could protest, Noah cut me off, "No growls." The sound of footsteps approaching made us break eye contact immediately, turning our attention to him. "Take care of my sword." he grunted one last time, before putting himself between me and the beast, intercepting him before he could lay a finger on me.

The clash between the two was almost surreal; hand to hand, forehead against forehead in a demonstration of savagery and brute force never before seen by my eyes. Noah's feet sank into the ground with the immense pressure that the Qunari was making with his body, but Grumpy didn't flinch - He kept the beast firmly in place, in a duel of muscles, growlings and glances that left the young Templars even more scared.

For a moment, I thought Noah would beat him easily, but then I realized how wrong I was - The Qunari headbutted Noah so strongly and loudly that I almost felt his pain. Grumpy staggered for a second, and as a result, he'd received two powerful punches, one on each side of his face.

When the beast lifted both hands like a guillotine, my heart stopped. It was only Grumpy's cry that had kept me in place.

"No!" he ordered me before rushing against the Qunari, throwing his shoulders against the beast's stomach. That had stopped his attack, but didn't prevent the giant from launching another assault on the vulnerable back of Grumpy. With alternating and quick punches , the Qunari hit Noah in his ribs incessantly three, four, five times, long enough for Grumpy to lock his feet on the ground and hug the back of the beast tightly. I could already hear the sounds of broken ribs when he surprised everyone - Noah literally took the Qunari's feet from the ground, lifting him at least thirty inches into the air before throwing him to the ground violently. Once his back was pressed against the ground, the beast had no chance to react, and that was exactly what Noah wanted.

And I'll tell you one thing: Grumpy used this great breach in the enemy's defense very well, because the giant barely touched the ground and Noah was already on him, returning tenfold every punch he had received. Not long after that, the Qunari lost consciousness.

Noah stood gasping, spitting blood before he motioned for the Templars to act. They were still half stunned, paralyzed by what they had just witnessed, so it took a few seconds for them to properly understand the message. Even I was kinda impressed, to be honest. Even a little proud of Noah, I admit, but he would never know.

Grumpy staggered again, but before he could fall to the ground, I quietly put one of my hands on his lower back, supporting him to keep him standing. He just looked at me, still groggy from the effect of the punches, and that was enough for me to understand what he meant. He didn't thank me, but leaned his body against my hand to compose himself as he breathed.

The redheaded boy, the one who almost got killed, came to me while his companions tried to lift the body of the beast from the ground. He looked down, shy and reserved, as if I was somebody important. I smiled, to try to let him feel more comfortable, but that only made him blush even more.

"Are you okay?" I asked, after seeing he would not say anything. He nodded more times than necessary, before bowing in our direction.

"Th-thank you for saving my life!" He said, his voice trembling, offering me a coin purse.

"H-hey," I said, not trusting my own voice. It was the first time that a human had bent to me. Incidentally, it was the first time someone had _ever_ bowed to me, and I felt very strange. You know, I don't know why kings feel so happy to see others bowing. It was a very bad feeling, as if I had a hole in my stomach or something. All I could do was touch the boy's shoulders and pull it gently, so he could return to normal. "Don't do that." I pushed the bag back to him, still a bit embarassed.

"But... but you saved me ..." He stammered again, uncertain whether or not to keep the coin purse.

"He was the one who beat the Qunari. I did nothing ..."

"You cared, Serah Warden, when no one else did, and so I'm grateful." He tried to bend again, but this time I held him.

"You know who I am?" It was weird. I don't remember talking to anyone about who I was. Well, but since the incident at the Inn, I highly doubted if there was someone who didn't.

"Everyone in Lothering knows who you are," he replied, now with a bright flash in his eyes. "You are heroes!"

Now I was the one who was blushing. The boy looked at Noah, however he didn't seem as surprised as I was. I don't know, maybe Grumpy was used to receiving these heartfelt glances of admiration, because of his Champion reputation and everything, but I wasn't.

The boy respected me - an elf, a Scrapper, the lowest caste of human society. Maybe ... Maybe it was just the innocence of a child. Someone who has not lived long enough to know how ridiculous it was to bow to an elf. Yet... I felt happy. Happy, not because of what he did or what he had offered, but knowing that I wasn't risking my neck in vain. If purity still exist in this land, cursed by its own god , then there was still a reason to keep fighting.

"I must return to my duties." The boy said, and instead of bowing, he put his fist against his chest, towards his heart.

"How old are you?" I asked, feeling Grumpy's breath finally returning to normal under my palm.

"Eleven, Serah." He replied, but before I could finish my line of thought, a roar split the air. The Templars who held the Qunari were thrown away with a simple shake of the shoulders of the beast, who suddenly had regained consciousness. The thick rope that bound him shredded, as if it was made of silk, and soon he was free again.

But I must say that he didn't stay standing for too long. The reeling Grumpy soon was facing the Qunari, and the his punch was so strong, but so strong that Noah almost fell forward along with him. The Giant sat down, conscious and perplexed. His wide violet eyes staring at Grumpy as if he were a ghost, and for the first time I could tell that his eyes were closer to a person's than a rabid animal's. I think he didn't expect that.

"Stay... On the ground ... DAMMIT!" Noah yelled, still with clenched fists, breathing large portions of air. Though still groggy, I think the Qunari was finally coming around. "Bind him, in the name of Maker!"

The Templars nodded, and soon they were trying to bind him again. This time, the Qunari showed no resistance. The boy tried to join the others, but I held him by his shoulders.

"Go home." I said.

"But I need to ..." He started, and I could see that hope shone in his little eyes with the possibility that he could drop that sword. "They said I have to stay. That is my duty as the only man of the house to bring honor to my family and my country ..."

"Just go." I replied. "Go back to your family and take them somewhere safe. When you grow a little more, you can join the Templars, if you wish to do so."

The boy had a new sparkle in his eye, and then nodded frantically, so determined that I had no doubt that he would do the right thing. He repeated the gesture of the hand on the chest once more before leaving, and I did the same for him. When I turned to Noah, his gaze made my mood change from _happy to help _to _regret to have gotten out of bed_.

And I didn't even have to ask.

"You know that it was really _cute_, right?" He scoffed. When you think that someone has reached the maximum potential of sarcasm, you discover that apparently it was just the tip of the iceberg. And I'll tell you, he topped himself this time.

"You would be very _adorable_ if you were not so vindictive." I replied, rolling my eyes.

"And you would be very adorable if-"

He did not finished the phrase, just turned toward Lothering, pale as a sheet of paper.


	30. Prelude of the Chaos

**Chapter 30**

Prelude of the Chaos

.

**Mahariel**

The rain stopped.

Through the window, I watched Kallian and Grumpy walking towards the north, out of the city limits. Da'shal was too naive to risk her neck for these people. These ruthless killers who would only use her and throw her away when they no longer need her abilities. However, it is not my task to remind her of this all the time.

Once was more than enough. Kallian knew my arguments, as well as my thoughts on the subject. If she was going to use some of what I had suggested or not, it was no longer my problem.

"The sound of the birds in the morning are one of my favorite things," The human with the beautiful blue eyes said right beside me, and I almost had a heart attack. I did not expect her sudden approach. "It seems like their song is more cheerful and happier in these 's like a gift from the Maker, made especially to greet us at each new day."

She had a broad smile on her face and a strange gleam in her eye, much to my suspicion. All I did was mumble something incoherent before returning my attention back to my traveling companions.

They seemed to be arguing again, especially from the sour expression on Noah's face. His bestial stance - the one that he uses so often - was giving me chills, scarier than ever and, like always, Da'shal was not giving a damn about him.

Still not satisfied by my not-so-friendly stance, she stood beside me, turning her attention to the window as well, and I could not stop myself from taking one step away from her. I still did not know what she wanted, but maybe if I ignored her for long enough, she would give up and leave me alone.

"You guys seem to consider a lot what she says." Leliana continued, seeming not to notice my unwillingness to continue this conversation. "And the little that I have witnessed leads me to believe that Kallian is the leader of the group, isn't she?"

I would have muttered again, but she did not give me time for that. "This feeling is important. Bonds of trust strengthen the group, even more in a task so arduous and dangerous as ours."

Andruil help me, would this woman never shut up? _Ever_?! My ears were already burning after so much chatter, and it seemed that she still had more to say. _Lucky me._

"You know what I think?" _No, and I do not even care_, I thought, but again she did not give me a chance to say anything. "I think I've seen Noah somewhere. I don't know, his face is quite familiar to me, although I don't remember having met someone as angry and quiet as he is before..." She leaned against the window, and I had serious doubts if she did it to get a better view of the outside or if it was only an excuse to stop and breathe. "He is very quiet, indeed. I think that I've only seen him talking with one person since we met yesterday." I did not have to follow her gaze to know that she was referring to Da'shal. "They seem to be very close, don't you think?"

This time I had chance to answer, but said nothing. Da'shal actually was the only one who had anything close to a dialogue with him. The only one who cared to talk with him. I watched the two of them again, closely this time - she had a debauched smirk on her face, that she always wore when she was provoking him. Grumpy _always_ seemed to be angry, no matter the time of day or situation. It was almost sickening. But still ... Still, it seemed I was the only one that had anything to complain about. Kallian obviously seemed to trust him, and frankly I gave up trying to understand why. The others - Morrigan, Alistair ... Even the dog, and he's a very sensitive creature, seem to be comfortable around him.

Even now, when he was about to, I don't know, attack her, she looked strangely at ease.

I looked at Leliana for the first time since she had began to chatter, and pondered her words carefully. _Close_. What she meant by that, exactly?

Kallian laughed and ran. Noah probably swore a few times - I could not read his lips or listen to his words, but it was what his stormy expression had suggested.

I wonder if they were really as_ close _ to each other as the human said. They had something, and perhaps they were close to some degree, but _how much_, exactly?

We were talking about a human, and apparently Da'shal was not considering this. She was_ laughing_, for the love of the Creators. _Laughing_! How could she have fun in a situation like this? How could she have fun with a _murderer_?

_Our bickering is the way I've found to pull him out of the darkness of his mind and bring him closer to what I believe to be his true self._

Perhaps most importantly ... why did Kallian want so badly to bring out his true self? For what? To discover the vile and sickening nature that every human carries within themself, and that sooner or later will emerge? What was the point?

Unless ...

"You dont talk much, do you?" Leliana asked, startling me again. She had been so quiet that I had hoped she was gone, but apparently I was wrong. "I still don't know your voice."

I took a deep breath, already defeated by her insistence, prepared to answer her something, but when I looked out the window one last time, I saw something that made me completely forget what I was planning to say.

Noah was smiling.

Yes, he _smiled_, before walking towards Kallian, who waited a few feet away, totally unconcerned about his presence, as always.

Is it possible that something was going on _between_ them? It could not be. It was surreal, illogical. Simply could not be, right?

Once they disappeared from my view, another feeling invaded my chest without my consent - a strong grip, like a bad feeling increased tenfold. I'd felt it before, yes, on our way to Lothering. I felt this ... strange ... sensation, as if there was someone watching me every time we were about to fight against a group of Darkspawn. I do not know what it was – maybe it was some Warden thing, that had sharpened my senses, who knows?

Whatever it was, it couldn't be a good sign.

"Leliana," I called, and she was the one startled this time. I think she had already lost hope to hear my voice, and her sudden enthusiasm was shining in her blue eyes. "There's something very wrong here."

"What do you mean by that?" She asked, still half excited, but by the small contraction in her eyebrows, I think she had noticed that I was not kidding.

"I don't know." I answered truthfully, crossing the room in long strides to reach my equipment, and didn't take more than a few brief minutes to gather all my things. "But it's not good, for sure. Call Alistair, _quick_!"

And so she did, and in less than twenty minutes later, the Chantry's main door exploded.

* * *

**Noah**

I had no doubt about what was happening.

"Horde?" The elf asked me, and before I could finish nodding, we were running back to the city, with the Templars close behind us.

I hadn't even noticed the black smoke painting the sky black, or the comments of those scared kids who only served to wonder if their time had actually come or not. When you are a Grey Warden, you end up learning, one way or another, that nothing is stronger than our perception ability. Once those nasty creatures enter into our range, _nothing else matters_. We can't just turn it on or off at our leisure, this inner tracker, like a torch that you have the freedom to light whenever you want. The bad feeling just follows us wherever we go, until we die. It is a rather unpleasant fact, but true.

So when you feel not one, not two, but _hundreds_ of Darkspawn in the same place, words become unnecessary. There was no way to react in any other way - just an exchange of glances was enough to understand what was happening.

What about the smoke, the sound of explosions or the assumptions of those children? Nothing mattered. No hypothesis was stronger than the desparate need to know for sure what was happening: They were _destroying_ Lothering.

"Why the hell didn't we feel this before?" The elf put into words what I had been questioning myself, mentally, since I started to run. I had no answer. All I could think about was how it was as we fled throught Wilds, when the threat was so constant and intense, and how this time their approach had been so sudden. It was all so absurd that it was laughable.

"What is happening, Wardens?" The Templar holing the moorings asked as he dragged the Qunari along with him. Interestingly, he did not show any resistance. "It's the Darkspawn, isn't it? They... They are in town, aren't they?"

"You should know, you ..." Another Templar began to whimper on the other side. Not only him, but all the others began to complain too, and with this, my patience was getting closer and closer to zero. I was also getting angry because I couldn't even hear my own thoughts. All because of that damned buzzing ... It had been a good while since I listened to this infernal noise that always led me to do something stupid. "You are the Grey Wardens! You were suppose to know...!"

"_Shut up_!" To my surprise, it was the elf that exploded, not me. "Stop whining at least for a minute! By the Void, Let me think!" The tone she used was so angry, so serious, that none of them even dared to open their mouths again.

Maker bless her.

I breathed deeply at least three times before trying to say something. Still, I was wary - I could not trust my self, I was so angry.

"We must have ..." I started, and soon got her attention. "... A maximum range for our perception."

"A very limited range, you say," she replied, but there was no sarcasm in her voice, but revulsion instead. Indignation. Anger. "We should have seen that coming."

"What we're gonna do?" I asked. The truth is that I still wasn't able to think straight, and though the answer was quite obvious, I didn't believe she would suggest that we run away. I just hoped she didn't choose to defend the city.

"How are you?" She looked at me frowning, visibly worried. Before I could ask why she would ask such a moronic question, I remembered about the Qunari. Despite his fierce punches, no bones were broken, but surely he would have left some bruises here or there.

"Adrenaline." It was the best answer I could find. It was a short way of saying that I was so numb that an ogre could another oak at me and I would get up happily and dance as if nothing had happened.

On second thought ... No, I would _not dance_, just for the record.

"Okay." There was a short pause for breathing. "We're gonna fight our way into the city." The elf said determined, in the same way she did when she hit my chest armor with her small hands and challenged me, right after we found the Tree Hugger. Although I don't like sassy people and had hated her look on that occasion, I couldn't say I didnt like her attitude. She had strong eyes and her posture made me believe that this would be a simple task, like any other. I'd say she conveyed confidence, perhaps, and believe me, these Templars needed as much as they could get. "We will grab our people and get out as soon as possible."

She made it look so easy ...

"We are over twenty minutes from Lothering. There will be no more_ city_ when we get there."I said. If we considered the sheer number of darkspawn, and how outnumbered the city guard were, then Lothering was probably taking its last breath as we talked.

"Then we will have to make it in _ten _... Come on!" She led the way and estabilished the pace, moving easily five or six bodies ahead of us.

Damn elves and their light steps ...

* * *

**Mahariel**

Alistair hastily explained to me what that feeling meant, and then we started to pack our things as quickly as possible. It did not take long for us to be ready, but still to no avail. Not even all the agility in the world would be able to change the facts - we had no time to escape.

We were surrounded.

In the time it took us to reach the stairs, the Darkspawn had organized themselves in front of the Chantry. The door that had been firmly locked by the Templars with thick wooden bars, trembled violently with every onslaught of the enemies, who seemed to be using a battering ram or something like that to break in. The force of the impact was downright scary.

Knowing that the thick wooden door would not stand for long, Alistair ran up into the middle of the hall and started yelling instructions to everyone in the room: the refugees should hide on the second floor, and those who could fight should prepare their weapons and help him push the banks to form a barricade. And so it was done. Even the leader of the Templars, Bryant or something like that, accepted Alistair's plan and had helped him to organize the people, repeating his orders to make sure everyone would understood what they were meant to do.

Four further attacks against the door ensued as everyone raised the barricade. By my calculations, there were fifty to sixty people in the Hall by that time, so the mobilization was impeccable. It's really a shame that humans are only able to see the importance of unity in the face of impending doom. Competence they had, they only lacked the proper census.

Still talking about competence, it was a surprise to see Alistair giving orders. Well, they were not proper orders, but even so, it was an unusual scene. After all, a human who prefers to follow the orders of an elf recruit, still young inside the ranks instead of lead - which, in my opinion, made much more sense. After all, he is the only one who knows how everything works - did not give him much credibility. Not that Da'shal wasn't a good leader - although sometimes questionable, I do not think any of her decisions were bad ones, quite the contrary - but experience was an important factor when it came to being responsible for a group of people. It was true, that the great leaders of which I am aware were chosen both for their life experience and for their wisdom. The most logical choice then, would be that the older Warden should be the one to make decisions.

I must confess that I, more than once, had associated this situation to be the result of the almost certain incompetence of the human when it came to leadership, but apparently I was wrong. He not only was able to get everyone's attention, but also coordinated and optimized tasks in a very impressive way. Just the fact that he got the attention of the people in the midst of widespread panic had been a great achievement, so you can imagine my surprise when I realized that, in addition to making them listen, he had also convinced them to do what he wanted.

His words were simple, and his plan, logical - we were surrounded by Darkspawn on all sides, so any attempt to leave the Chantry would be suicide. The building, from what I had seen, was composed of two floors: The first floor had the Hall, which was where we were now and where we had created barricades to defend ourselves. It also had two adjacent rooms, one on each side of the hall - a small room that looked more like a lecture area, with an extra exit in the bottom (which incidentally was also well locked) and another room, which seemed to be the office of the local religious leader. Both rooms were positioned at the end of the main hall, well before the barriers that were placed near the Main entrace. Thus, in addition to limiting the flow of enemies, we would keep refugees safe on the second floor, since the only stairs available were next to the office.

On the second floor, the refugees could hide in the rooms, just in front of the stairs, or follow the U-shaped corridor to the library, to the other wing. There was the library there and further in, the kitchen, which was on the other end of the corridor. There were several possibilities, and as long as they locked their doors, they should be fine. But what mattered to me at that time was the main hall - it was the best chance we had to defend ourselves, far better than outside, in a open field.

All I know is that I found myself helping them. Two rows of barricades were placed between the door and the Templars, while the few archers took position in strategic locations behind shelves and pilasters. It was all very quick, really, but it was long enough for me to catch myself cheering for the best. I could run away, yes, get out of there sneaking through the shadows and nobody would notice my absence. But I wanted it to work out, and all the mobilization and determination demonstrated by those people made me believe that we had a good chance to get out of there alive.

That is, until the door shook a seventh time and the colossal figure of an Ogre came into my field of vision.

* * *

**Noah**

We ran.

We ran _hard._

I thought I was in good physical condition, but after that day I had I was no longer so sure about that. The elf ran like hell, and even though I ran until I felt that my legs would fall off, she always managed to keep a good distance between us without much effort.

Bah. I wanted to see her running that quickly with twenty extra pounds of metal on her back ...

We'd covered a good distance in the short time we ran. She meant it when she said that she wanted to cut the travelling time by half, and I would say she was committed to keeping her word. The others were following us too, but from afar. There were about twenty people with us; Templars and guards, who were still visibly worried, but at least now they had determination rather than fear in their eyes, which was something. Not that I expected too much of them, but I let it be. Right behind them was the Qunari. He was fast for his size, keeping quiet all the time and, of course, I didn't take my eyes off of him in not even for a second. His easy acceptance of his capture made me apprehensive, and deep down I still felt that he would fight back sooner or later.

After five minutes running, our first obstacle arose.

A group of six Darkspawn was surrounding a guard, who tried to defend himself with a broken sword. Given the conditions of the conflict, it surprised me that he was still alive, to be honest. Anyway, regardless of how he managed to survive, we couldn't let him die. At the same time that the elf literally jumped on top of one of the Darkspawn, I threw my sword at one of Hurlocks close to him, hitting the target before he could do anything to her.

The distraction was so good that made them forget about the guard and aim their weapons at us. This was one of the easier fights we had so far, because, for the first time, we were not the minority. It was too good - I wouldn't have changed it one bit.

In the end, we found that the guard was actually a Scout who had fled before the situation got out of control. _Coward_ ... Apparently he didn't report the attack to anyone.

"T-there were many of them ... More than I could c-count. Thousands, ma-maybe ..." He stuttered, probably torn between the fear of being killed by the Darkspawn and the fear of being reprimanded for his selfish attitude. "The La-largest group keep marching while mi-minor one stayed in the city."

"How many are we talking about?" I growled, stepping forward against him. The Scout hesitated, swallowing hard before retreating a few steps to finally be stuck with his back pressed against a tree.

"One h-hundred, maybe t-two." He whispered, and it was the Maker himself that made me punch the tree instead of his face.

"Noah," The elf called me. "He's telling the truth. I can feel the larger group moving away." I turned to her, then in the direction of the city. The Scout slipped to the ground, probably relieved that she had prevented me from striking out a second time. I could feel the larger group moving rapidly away, heading north, and a smaller group in the city, just like he said. That made my anger calm down a bit, but not enough to ignore the fact that the Scout was trying to crawl away from us.

"You, come with me!" I said, grabbing the man by the collar of his armor. He started babbling a half dozen nonsense words to convince us to let him go, but honestly I didn't give a shit. "You will go back and help to fix the mess you've made!"

"Let him go, Noah. We will end up fleeing, sooner or later ..." She said, running a hand over her face up to her forehead, where she firmly pressed her temple. I've done it myself several times, in order to dissipate stress. Not that it had worked, but at least it helped to focus.

"If he had returned to warn those people, they would have a chance to survive. Had he not been a bloody _coward_, they would have a chance to escape. Every corspe on the ground and every drop of blood spilled will be his fault." I growled, throwing the guy to the ground in front of me. "He's coming with us to see the damage."

"They were already dead, buddy. There was nothing they could have done!" He pleaded once more. "Please ..."

"It wasn't up to you to decide that..." I growled again. The guard, seeing that he would not get anything from me, looked at the elf with such a pleading expression that it made me sick. For a moment I thought she was going to buy it, passing over my decision and disrespecting my authority, but to my surprise, she did not.

* * *

**Kallian**

Apparently, Noah had a serious problem with lack of responsibility and break of commitment. He'd lost his mind again, and went into that berserker mode that the trees hated so much. I was sorry for that poor bastard, although I do agree that his irresponsibility may have decided the fate of an entire town. Noah stared at him like a predator eyeing his prey, and if one single look was enough to kill a person, that Scout would already be under the ground a long time ago.

For me, whatever. Having a jerk with me in the middle of the chaos would only hinder me. Because, he would either end up killing us, or he would run away as soon as he made sure no one was watching, so what difference did it make?

But Noah was serious about this. That was really important to him. I knew this because when we discussed Eilleen's fate that day, he had the same out-of-control hint in his eyes, the same intense hatred burning on his face. You don't forget that kind of thing easily.

Noah looked at me while the Scout was almost kissing my feet. The Templars and guards just waited. And by their angry expressions, I think most of them also shared Noah's viewpoint, mostly because their families were probably still in Lothering.

Man, that Scout was very screwed.

"You heard the man." I replied, and saw Noah's eyes widening slightly with my answer. "That's not my decision. You will come with us."

I started to run again. We had already lost enough time on the road. All I heard was Noah yelling one last order before joining the others whom, by the way, were more determined than ever. Maybe it was anger, or the confirmation of the imminent danger, I don't know, but there was no trace of those children afraid to face the Quinari on them.

They wanted to fight.

"Move it. _Now_!" Noah growled, kicking Scout's ribs to make him move.

* * *

_A/N: Kallian's Sketchbook is back, at least until the end of August :) I will keep publishing once per week as usual, but I'm not sure which day. _

_Thanks for the patience and for the great reviews last chapter. Again, sorry for the late reply, but I needed to fix everything before getting back to ffnet. :D_

_Also, I'd written a oneshot about Hawke & Fenris called __**Second Chances. **__There's a lot of meaning and emotion there, and reflections about feelings that we all had faced at some point in our lives. If you could get a try, I would appreciate. You won't regret it :)_


	31. The Fall of the Chantry

**Chapter 31**

The Fall of the Chantry

.

**Mahariel**

If before I had any hope of getting out alive of that cursed building, now I had none.

I did not expect them to be so well organized. I thought the Darkspawn were just wild beasts who took pleasure in destroying everything they touched, instead they were like a well-run army.

First, the Ogre not only broke down the door, but also collapsed half the wall down to the floor. Thank the Creators that he hadn't entered the Chantry. With so many people crowded inside, two strokes would have been enough to annihilate them all, but by some miracle, the hole was not big enough for him to pass through. I would not say that _relieved_ was the right word to describe what I felt when I saw the back of the monster retreating, because sooner or later we would have to get by him to escape. Yet the main reason was the amount of genlocks and Hurlocks who'd invaded the place, followed by archers and those corrupted wolves that looked like little demons coming from the Void itself, hungry for fresh meat.

The first shock hit the Barricades, when Hurlocks threw themselves hard against the banks and shelves, trying to open the way. At first, the advantage was ours, because they fell dead as soon as they touched the barrier. The wolves were perfectly capable of jumping over it, obviously, but the archers and squires on the frontline were doing their best to prevent them from invading our area. It was working to some extent.

"Protect the barricade!" I heard Alistair screaming from the frontline, mercilessly cutting and impaling each Genlock that entered in his range.

The biggest problem was not in our defensive ability, but in the ridiculous number of Darkspawn that were against us. For every darkspawn that fell, it seemed two more took it's place, and even though we managed to kill them before they got to us, each onslaught meant more damage to the barrier. And to make things even more _interesting_, the mages had appeared.

"Look out!" I yelled, pulling Leliana out of the way of a lightning bolt, which exploded the pillar where she'd been hiding behind. She was about to thank me, but it was her turn to push me out of the way. A square stone struck exactly where we both had been standing. With a short nod, we ran in opposite directions, looking for another place to hide.

Stones, piles of ice and sparks began to fly through the air, bouncing off the walls and hitting the front line, causing significant damage to the structure of the barricade. With that, the Templars finally had realized that there were other things that needed their attention. With their focus shifted to draining the mages, and with less soldiers to defend us, more and more wolves began to sucessfully cross the barriers and consequently, our numbers finally began to fall.

It wouldn't be long before the first barrier was brought down.

The good part was that the Darkspawn apparently stopped coming in, but the bad part was that the hall was a veritable pandemonium. The Mages - or Emissaries, if you care that much - were low on mana, but it didn't matter - no one needed them anymore. The first broken seat was enough for other gaps to open as well, and soon the place was filled with black and gray dots fighting against each other, all stained with the blood of those who'd fallen.

My fingers were bleeding from shooting so many arrows, metaphorically speaking. I still had my archer gloves, but with each arrow I positioned on my bow, I felt the taut line ripping the skin off my fingers. At this point, I was out of ammo, and all I could do was run from one side to the other, collecting arrows and quivers from the bodies of the dead, trying to continue to fight. I saw Leliana from the corner of my eye in the distance, putting her bow on her back and pulling out a pair of daggers hidden in her weird robes. She was also out of ammo, so she ran to Alistair to assist him as she could, disappearing and reappearing to stab the Darkspawn, before vanishing again. Maybe I should have done the same, but I did not have much experience with melee combat, so any failed strike could mean my end.

I knew it would not work, but even so, I tumbled one of the shelves in order to block the stairs. I didn't want any of these bastard reaching the second floor.

Maybe it was the desperation of my group, or the cruelty of the Darkspawn, or perhaps the children crying upstairs, I don't know. What I knew was that I was not doing it for the humans, but for _myself -_ I would defend that place with my life if needed.

* * *

**Kallian**

Maybe I could say I had seen such cruelty before, but I certainly had never witnessed a massacre like this. It was an unprecedented genocide, just like it had been in Ostagar, only on a smaller scale. You see, when I felt the presence of these hundreds points of evil energy in the distance, I felt scared. It was a terrifying number, without a doubt, and I couldn't say that I wasn't ready for what I would find. But there is a stark difference between feeling and seeing, and standing here, looking at the city, I could say that I felt suffocated.

There were bodies wherever I looked. Bodies being looted, bodies being burned, blood rushing through the land like a red river that seemed to have no beginning and much less an ending ... If someone talked to me, I didn't listen. I think, for a brief moment, I was paralyzed with shock, just breathing and staring at the Darkspawn running around town, hunting humans like an army of ants attacking a small and fragile crop. It was too cruel.

Duncan warned about the villainy of those wild beasts, but I never thought it would be anything so extreme. Before long, the houses were destroyed, the Inn was on fire, and people were gathered in small groups, trying to defend themselves. In the distance, I could see the Chantry, with its broken doors and smoke pouring from all sides. And that when my real despair settled over me.

The others were still in the city. Morrigan was at the Inn. Mahariel and Leliana were in the Chantry. Alistair ...

No... No, no, no! By the Void, _no_!

I remember I started to walk in circles, pulling the strands of hair from my face and holding them behind my head, in a futile gesture of trying to keep my thoughts in order. Of course I failed miserably, because deep, deep down, desperation had already been established. All I could think was my mates were still trapped inside the city. I tried to focus on the presence of Alistair and Eileen, but my fear of the worst happening wouldn't let me think - they were overwhelmed by so many points of negative energy in the same place, that any attempt to locate them was lost amidst of the chaos.

"What we're gonna do?" I thought, not realizing that I had given life to those words.

"Fight our way into the city, grab our people and get out," Noah said, stopping beside me. His voice was so low, so restrained, yet so full of emotion that I was sure he was willing to follow through with the plan. I don't know if his motives were the same as mine, but I couldn't see Noah making a different decision. "It was not the plan?"

"We're going to _die_." I was not complaining, or trying to make up an excuse to escape - I was simply stating the obvious.

"Yeah, I know." He whispered, moving his shoulders that way that people do when they are restless. "Have you changed your mind?"

"_No_," I answered with conviction, breathing deeply to try to empty my mind. When my eyes fell on the Chantry, I finally felt the weak presence of two Grey Wardens, the only uncorrupted energy inside the building.

They were _alive _... Alistair and Mahariel, they ... were still alive. It was all I needed to know.

* * *

**Noah**

"To the Chantry, then," I said, taking a step forward. We were stopped at one of the access bridges linking the town to the main road. The scructure was tall and far enough away to pass unnoticed, and at the same time, low and close enough we could smell the blood coming from the city. "We should go around the city limits, and approach the building from behind, on the sly." I drew a circle in front of the Elf's eyes , creating an imaginary line connecting the end of the bridge to our goal. "We will avoid most of the fights and, with some luck, we will pass unnoticed by the larger groups. Can you see that?"

"Uh-huh," she muttered, but I don't think her attention was completely on me. She frowned and looked down as if thinking, turning her head slowly to study the acess stairs alongside bridge, just like a Mabari does when they hear something. Then, suddenly, she ran in that direction and jumped over the side. The bridge was not that high - perhaps only two or three feet from the ground - so I knew she wouldn't beak anything, but even so I ran up to the short wall and looked down just in time to see her land with her daggers upon an Hurlock, right next to a cart. Around her, at least ten others were preparing to attack her.

"Maker!" I exclaimed indignantly, placing my leg over the short wall, ignoring the shocked soldiers at my back.

What else could I do? Watch her kill herself? Yeah, I could - it would be easier, faster and safer - but then, what did I do? I jumped, too.

Damned elf.

I'd barely set a foot on the ground, and my sword had flown at one of the Hurlocks, gracefully taking down two Darkspawn with one hit. While the elf was doing that juggling rogue thing with her daggers, I ran toward them with my blade in hand. I should have probably bought a better sword, but that corrupted thing was with me for so long, that was almost a lucky charm. Served me well so far, at least.

"What's your problem with a low-profile?" I asked as I approached her. "Do you even know the meaning of the word _discretion_?"

"Don't be stupid," she complained, dancing as light as a feather. She was good, but wouldn't be able to hold those beasts alone. Not without help.

"Since I've met you, the last thing you've ever been is discreet." Finally I managed to reach her, and soon we were back to back against the other five remaining enemies. "In Ostagar, you jumped over the barricade like a monkey," I raised my sword to defend against an attack from above, using a loophole to kick the stomach of the Hurlock, making him fall. "When we arrived, you attracted bandits before you even got into the city." I stepped forward and stabbed my sword into the stomach of the beast.

"How did you know about the bandits?" She asked from beside me, protecting me from a well-aimed blow, coming diagonally at me. I believe that, because she wouldn't have enough strength to stop the ax with her hands, she'd decided to launch a dagger against her attacker's face, but I had no time to see where it hit, because soon she was throwing another dagger, which stuck in its body, right through the wrist of its weapon hand. Before the Darkspawn could react to the blade in its face, she pulled it free and stabbed deeping into its neck.

"I didn't," I replied, positioning myself to be back to back with her again. I saw the wound in her wrist - it was a matter of putting the pieces together, I'm not stupid. "The point is, you ignored the plan _again_. Either you have no love for your life, or you are completely crazy."

One by one, the Darkspawn were falling, and Maker be praised, the blood spilled on our clothes was only theirs, not ours. She didn't answer my provokation, just helped me to kill the last Hurlock quietly before walking into the carriage.

"Maybe, I am the one crazy here," I moved to retrieve my sword. "To let someone who barely reaches my waist protect my back ..."

She didn't need to say anything - just the disgusted look on her face was rewarding enough. But I didn't laugh, despite this being my inclination. To my surprise, two Dwarves came from inside the wagon, and I finally understood why she had jumped in the first place.

Maybe she wasn't that crazy after all.

"Maker's breath ..." The older Dwarf said, stroking his long brown beard. His other hand held the arm of the smaller one, who appeared to be much more younger than the first. I think that was the first time I saw a Dwarf without a beard. "Are we safe?"

"For now, yes," the elf replied smiling. "Now go, get out of town as quickly as possible."

"R-right ..." The man said, making a brief bow. "Thank you so much!"

I saw the boy approaching me kind of shyly, extending his hand to me. He looked deep into my eyes, and for some reason I didn't see any evil in them, just a surreal intensity, almost innocent, like a child. Almost hypnotized, I reached out to him, and in my palm, he placed a stone. Yes, a ordinary stone, irregular and dirty, with a small yellow rune on it.

"What is it?" I asked, crouching down so I could see him better. He had a sheepish smile on his face, playing with his fingertips while stared at me expectantly.

"Boom ..." He whispered enigmatically, and graced me with a huge smile.

"What?" I asked confused, but smiling. I didn't understand anything, but I was infected by his sudden excitement.

"Enchantment!" He suddenly exclaimed, clapping before joining the other Dwarf. _Maker!_ I almost fell backwards. The elf, as expected, smiled at him, but for some reason the boy took a step back when their eyes met. He was suddenly apprehensive, with a frown and scowl. I saw the elf tilt her head to the side as her smile faded from her lips. It was ... weird, to say the least.

Before I could even try to understand what was happening, again my thoughts were interrupted. An explosion came from the middle of the city, and captured everyone's attention. The largest building in Lothering, perhaps the strongest structure with probably the largest number of people sheltered, just exploded.

The elf and I looked at each other dumbfounded, while the Chantry was burning in front of us.

* * *

**Mahariel**

I don't know how, but somehow, the situation was under control again.

There were still so many Darkspawn inside the main hall, as well as bodies and more bodies on both sides and around the corners. There were no barricades anymore - just blood everywhere - but we were impeding their progress. They would not advance, but sadly their numbers never fell significantly, without ours also following the same path.

I kept close to Bryant and Alistair most of the time, since Leliana had no standard pattern for her attacks. Increasingly, I became convinced that she was not of this world, but some kind of haunting ghost that kept disappearing right before our eyes. The two humans were fighting back to back, defending each other fiercely as the amount of enemies decreased around them.

I was trying to support them as best as I could, but as time went on, it was harder to keep the pace. First because it was not as easy to blend into the crowd as before, and second because they simply had no more arrows for me to use. At least, none in good condition. My bow was on my back, and all I had to defend myself was my father's hunting knife - a simple blade, smooth on one side and serrated on the other, with a leather handle.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Alistair looking at me strangely, first at my knife and them at my face. It looked like someone had thrown a bucket of blood on his head, he was so dirty. He shouted the name of the captain of the Templars, and both ran towards me. Before I realized it, I was between the two, in a weird sort of defensive formation, as he kept me behind his shield almost all the time.

"What are you doing?" I asked indignantly.

"Giving you coverage," he said, breathing heavily as he spoke. I would have complained, but something in his face caught my attention. His brow was furrowed, and he winced every time he brandished his sword, but that did not stop him from continuing to slash and cut those wild beasts.

It took a while, but when I finally recognized the red liquid oozing through the cracks of his breastplate, camouflaged among the dark blood and dirt, it all made sense.

"You..." I began, but he cut me off as soon as he'd realized where my eyes were fixed .

"_Don't._" He put his arm close to his right rib, as if to protect it from my gaze.

"Alistair, we can not keep this up forever," I warned, picking up a potion in my bag and forcing it into his mouth, while he used his shield to defend us from a barrage of arrows.

"But we have to..." Alistair gasped, but did not have the strength to finish.

"There's more of these things coming," Leliana said behind us suddenly, covered in sweat and blood. I almost hit her by reflex, but I stopped myself in time. "They are gathering at the entrance, and it seems that Ogre is with them."

The sister was right. The Ogre's presence was so strong that it was like it was screaming inside my head.

"Your friend is right, Alistair," This time was Bryant who gave his opinion. "The men are tired ... We won't be able to hold the darkspawn for much longer." Alistair frowned at Bryant's words. "The plan was good, but if another wave hits us, it will be our doom. We must retreat."

"We have to take the refugees out of the building, then!" Alistair said, starting to open the way towards the stairs but he would never make it - the ogre was already in the doorway, carrying two strange objects, one in each hand. And the worst part was, that I seemed to be the only person aware that the ogre was about to throw them at us.

"Alistair, watch out!" I screamed, but it was too late to avoid it. All he could do was hide behind his shield while the wooden barrel exploded above him, against the head of human's holy statue. The contents of the container spread throughout the place, giving a bath to most of the warriors who were fighting in the bottom of the Chantry. Alistair escaped by very little.

"This is oil?" Leliana asked, trying to clean the black liquid off her clothers with her hands. Before I could answer, however, another barrel was thrown our way, this time against Bryant and me.

We didn't have much choice. Besides the wall at our backs, we were trapped in a corner, surrounded by oil and bodies.

Our only option was to take cover in the side room - the lecture room. Three strides were enough to get there, but still we could not escape the from oil bath.

More barrels were thrown, this time by the Hurlocks. They didn't break, but it appeared that the contents were the same.

Maybe it was the heat of the moment, the adrenaline or the stress, I can not say for sure, but the truth was that I just realized their plan when the genlocks set fire to their arrows.

"They will burn us alive!" Bryant shouted, running at Alistair and Leliana. "Go quickly! There's an exit behind one of the bookcases. If you stay,you will die!"

"But ..." Alistair answered, looking at the stairs.

"You are our last hope!" He pushed both into the room at once, across the skidding floor, with all his strength. I held Alistair so he would not fall, while Leliana took a step back to the Main Hall. "Just go!"

"Bryant?" Leliana reached for the Templar, calling him to come with us. He reached out too, but they never even touched each other.

If you ask me, I'd say the enemy did what they did advisedly, coldly calculated. Definitely they had a sense of humor that was very disgusting.

The flaming arrow hit the exact point between their feet. It didn't take long for Bryant to be covered by a blanket of fire.

"Bryant!" Leliana shouted desperately, while I held her from behind, preventing her from touching the flames. The scene was so shocking that I didn't blame the tears in her eyes and or Alistair's temporarily paralyzed muscles. The commander of the Templars, who helped us the whole time and done everything to protect us, was burning alive before our eyes. "Bryant, Bryant ...!"

"We have to go!" I said, hugging the human even tighter to prevent her attempts to pull away from me. Meanwhile, the wall of fire was growing in front of us. "You can not do anything for him, let's go!"

"Mahariel is right." Said Alistair, pulling Leliana gently but firmly to the emergency exit. With tears streaming down her face, the sister followed us.

We left the Chantry before the first barrel exploded, with the cries of the man who saved our lives echoing in our ears.


	32. Unleashing the Beast

**Chapter 32**

Unleashing the Beast

**.**

**Kallian**

I think I was numb, I dunno. I was supposed to be in panic again, or been desperate from the other two explosions that rocked the Chantry, where I knew our people were. But, strangely, I felt nothing.

Only a great void inside my chest, which left me speechless.

"I still feel their presence." Noah approached me, speaking softly so only I could hear. "That's a good sign, right?"

I just nodded.

Seeing that I didn't say anything, he continued, "I suppose the plan is still the same?"

"The Chantry exploded!" A Templar said.

"Maker, my family is still in town!" Another guard said, desperate. All the other comments were along the same lines, or worse. The panic grew exponentially between them, and it seems that they were competing against each other to see who was more screwed.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled, losing my patience again.

"What we're gonna do, Wardens?" The older man asked. "Will you really go in there?"

Noah was silent, waiting for my answer.

"My comp..." I stopped, thinking better of my words. "My _friends_ are still there. And I will bring them back, whatever the cost."

Noah just nodded, pulling his sword from his back.

"This is suicide ..." One of the guards said.

"You can run if you want." I stared at the guard. "The order no longer exists, which means that you have no obligation to obey anyone anymore. Run for your lives if you wish, but I'll go there, even if I need to do it alone. Even if I accomplish nothing, I will fight until my arms fall off, if necessary. But I will try. " I turned my back to him. "How can I expect to protect my people, if I'm not even able to protect my traveling companions?"I thought aloud. "And _you _all can do the same, and try to save them well. The choice is yours." I looked at the Qunari, and a stupid idea crossed my mind. "And you could help us..."

"Wait ... help?" Noah exclaimed indignantly. "Elf, he is a murderer! Do you realize the work it took to capture him?" He frowned, deeply annoyed.

"You saw what he did to them?" I pointed to the group behind us.

"And that's why we should keep him bound!" Noah growled through gritted teeth.

"We have no choice." I approached the giant. "Look, I have a proposal."

"I'm not interested." The Qunari said, and it was like being punched in the nose.

Noah coughed really weird, but I knew this was the result of a very strong, but barely, contained laughter.

_Damn him._

"There, you have your answer." Noah grunted, coming close to us. He was still holding himself, but he gazed at the Qunari as sharply as ever.

"I'll try again." I said, breathing twice before continuing. "I will free you, then you will fight with us, and we all escape alive."

"I have no interest in escaping." He answered. His voice was deep and hoarse, too calm for the brutality I'd witnessed before. "I have a debt to pay. If this is my fate, so be it. I'll pay for my crime with my remaining honor."

I really hated the fact that everything is harder for us.

"Oh, don't pretend to play the repentant, please." Noah grumbled. "You killed a family with your own hands, no one will believe your foolish excuses."

"And so, I must pay." The Qunari answered.

"Okay, proposal number two," I said, crossing my arms. "Instead of running cowardly into the arms of death, you can help us to save people instead. You're a really skilled warrior, and if you use that power for good, then it would be a great way to restore your honor." A small smile appeared on my lips when I realized that I had finally gotten his attention. "Look, if you really want to try to redeem yourself, help us to win this war. Please."

The Qunari looked thoughtful for a while, glanced at the city and then at me, before nodding.

"Maker, you are going get us killed," Noah muttered to me, holding his sword with one hand and pulling a blade from his waist with the other. In one swift movement, he cut off the ties that bound the giant's hands, and handed him the blade. "But be warned - if you try to betray us, I'll kill you. Are we clear?" he threatened, looking deep into the Qunari's violet eyes.

"Fair enough," the was his reply, before accepting the blade.

"Right. So, let's go!" I said, starting to run to where Noah had suggested, but one of the Templars stopped us.

"Wait," he said, at the head of the smaller group, while the other, larger group, followed the opposite path. "We will go with you."

* * *

**Noah**

I regretted having agreed to this idea shortly after I took my first step into the city. It wasn't because of the Darkspawn, because I knew from the start that there were a lot of them, but because once again the plan was awry.

Besides me, the elf and the Qunari, nine other people had decided to help us, but only if we helped three of them with their own houses first, before going to the Chantry. A fair exchange, yes, but that doesn't change the fact that, again, discretion was swallowed by the Void.

Unfortunately, only one story had a happy ending - the older guard managed to save his sister, who only survived because she could brandish a sword really well.

We were a little further away from the Chantry, but I was still calm - the presence of the two Wardens was still very strong, so I knew they were alright, as far as was possible.

But don't think that it was easy to get there. It would have been worse without the defensive circle we were in, but even so, it was complicated.

Heh, defensive formation my ass. The Qunari was a killing machine, and I came to pity those he laid his hands on. He put hate in every blow, as if each one was the sole focus of his anger.

Maybe that was true. His outbreak of fury was serving us well, and as long as he didn't turn it against us, it was a good thing.

We'd had no casualties so far, but the pace was pretty intense. Luckily for us, the enemy group was not even a quarter of the presence that I'd felt before. For some reason, perhaps overconfidence, they'd left behind a smaller group while the rest went on, heading off in different directions. Divide and conquer, as they say. I just hoped that all this confidence was only a nine-day wonder , otherwise we would be off the map even before we could escape from Lothering.

The few warriors who managed to resist the first assault had joined us along the way, so our numbers soon rose to over thirty.

Thirty against an army. There was no reason to be proud, but I gave myself the luxury of being happy. We were few but at least we were still something.

My brief happiness, however, ended the minute the elf suddenly stopped and turned to me with an expression that announced she was about to say something I wouldn't like.

"Morrigan was in the Inn," she said breathlessly.

"She _was_, and now she is probably somewhere safe like Antiva." I replied dryly, pulling the elf by the arm to move on. Obviously, she didn't listen.

"How can you be so sure?" she asked, pulling away from my hand.

"She's a _shapeshifter_!" I exclaimed, throwing up my arms. "And a good one, considering the mother she has." I suddenly remembered a small detail. "Tell me, since when have mages fallen into your good graces?"

"They haven't," she said, leading us to the inn. "But Morrigan is part of our group. _Nobody_ should be left behind."

"Our agreement was clear," I growled at her side, finally able to follow her pace. "You would make the decisions and play the leader, as long as you didn't start to bossing me around." She glared at me, but showed no interest in changing her mind. "You're being bossy again, and you know I hate it."

"Noah, am I pulling you by some rope tied around your neck, by any chance?" she asked me, with no patience at all. Tension, stress, attention ... Everything was plastered on her face.

"What?" I asked, and was sightly disappointed when I realized that she was running even faster.

"You're coming of your _own_ accord, so stop pretending you're not worried."

"I'm not worried," was all I said, but she was out of my reach.

- x -

And with that, we headed to the Inn. I didn't think the witch needed help, being so powerful and self-sufficient as she claimed to be. Probably, she was far away, ready to laugh in our faces when this all went wrong, and we got sucked into the Void.

Sadly, I was wrong. Before we arrived, we found the shapeshifter on the road, surrounded by Darkspawn. On the ground there was a trail of empty mana potion bottles, Darkspawn bodies, and a trail of blood that flowed freely from her arm. Fire and ice flew from her fingertips as she ran, but I could clearly tell that she was not in the best shape.

Shaw-Shaw was with her. Biting and growling, but also limping. There was a lot of dirt in his pelage, so I couldn't tell if all the blood was his or theirs. Even so, the little ball of fur showed no hesitation, and fought bravely against their attackers. It was like he was trying to protect the witch, although the reason is unknown to me, since she hates him.

The elf and I ran towards them, but the half-pint got there first, giving the witch the support and the distraction she needed to be able to freeze six of the thirteen that were chasing her. Perhaps because of her effort, or the excessive loss of blood, or both, she fell soon after. I didn't think twice and threw my sword, which took down three genlocks with ease.

My hand flew to my waist, but found nothing. I had completely forgot that I had gave my one-handed sword to the Qunari.

I mentally cursed a few times before trying to run to get my weapon back.

Throwing away my _only_ weapon ... A blunder worthy of that stupid Templar.

Luckily, the Qunari was making a better use of my sword that I could. He was insane, even more than I was - he lifted up the heaviest of the Hurlocks with one hand, and flung it as if it was something insignificant, like the elf for example. It didn't take long before the rest of the group arrived, and set up a small circle around the witch and the dog.

The elf ran to the witch, who was lying on the ground in the same position she was in when she had fallen. While the little redhead helped her back to her feet, we made sure to keep away any Darkspawn that tried to approach. Well, not exactly _we,_ but the Qunari. I meant it when I said that he was insane.

"Morrigan, are you okay?" The elf asked, and I almost answered that it was _obvious_ that she was not, but I said nothing. I had the task of keeping the enemies away, and that's what I would do.

* * *

**Kallian**

I tried to give her a potion to drink as soon as I could, and as she drank it, I picked up a second vial and poured into the wound on her arm. It didn't take much to know that it was broken, especially because of the horrible state that it was in ... I'd rather not go into details. It was enough to know that it was visibly broken and that's enough.

Shaw-Shaw, my brave boy, limped up to me and dropped to the ground beside me. His soft crying was killing me, but I had to take care of Morrigan first. She was getting pale, which was a bad sign, then I immediately tried to find gauze and bandages inside my backpack to stop the bleeding.

"Morrigan, can you heal your arm?" I asked, helping her to take a mana potion, this time.

"T'is not possible, I'm afraid," she replied, and somehow, I had expected this response. If she really could do it, it would be already done. I remembered the time Noah had been impaled with a wooden stake, back in the wilds - she'd healed Grumpy, but had become visibly weak later, even if she hadn't wanted to admit it. What she said next made me wonder if she had no knowledge how to heal broken bones at all, or if it was really as exhausting as it seemed. "I'm no healer."

"And I am a _dwarf_," Noah replied sarcastically, probably remembering all the times when Morrigan's magic had saved our skin.

"To restore the meat and mend the skin are relatively simple tasks," Morrigan said. We knew it wasn't _that_ simple, but she had her pride, and I wouldn't be the person who would argue against her. "Regenerating organs and rebuilding bones are completely different things, so I suggest that you best choose your bruises hereafter."

It made sense. The complexity of the magic required different expertise.

"Why you didn't escape?" Noah asked, looking at us over his shoulder.

"Don't you think that I haven't tried, Warden?" she asked, sitting up. I was almost done bandaging her arm, using the sheaths of my daggers as a makeshift splint. I knew that the potion couldn't make miracles, but at least the blood had returned to her cheeks. "I was surrounded, and the fire was spreading fast. Flying would be the safest way to escape, but then they got me."

As soon as she'd attempted to fly, arrows had struck her, felling her from the sky. I saw her clothes were ragged at various points, which led me to believe that she'd broken her arm in the fall. She couldn't run or get rid of her pursuers, because of pain and blood loss.

She would have died if we hadn't come.

"The flea bag found me after I fell," Morrigan said, and to my surprise, she threw golden rays of energy in the direction of Shaw, and soon he stopped whining and stood up. Needless to say, I started to breathe again at that moment, relieved. "He was trained well and... Shoo! Shoo!" She said, shaking her good hand to ward off the little white ox from her, who was wagging his tail, happy and contented. "If you get closer, I will reverse the process!" She fought with Shaw, but as expected my of brave boy, he gave her a very wet lick on her face.

I just smiled, finishing her bandages.

"We can only hope that it does not fester." I used the rest of the bandage to make a sling. "Can you get up?"

She nodded.

"Great," I continued, and Noah helped her to stand. "For the Chantry, then!" Everyone nodded, and then we ran.

Call me silly, stupid, or anything like that, but for a brief moment, before getting up, I hugged Shaw with all my strength. We had only been together for a little while, but for me, he was part of the family. The bond we had was unexplainable, but I know that if he had died, I would have lost a great part of my motivation to keep fighting against the impossible.

* * *

**Noah**

Everything was going well so far. There was ice here, ice there, some arrows and the Qunari ... We were in a sort of competition to see who killed more enemies, even though neither of us had said anything. Every time he killed one, his gaze met mine. He was checking on me. So, after every kill, he increased his rhythm and I did the same. Don't ask me the reason - it was stupid, but_ fuck it_. I don't care.

_I wasn't going to lose to him._

I had to show him who was the real boss. The elf could give orders to him, but it would _me _who was responsible for imposing the respect necessary to keep him in line. It would be me who he would look at when he dared to lift his hand against us. I will be the reason for him to be afraid of even thinking about doing it again.

The Qunari was my problem from now on, so while I was alive, I would guarantee that he would not hurt anyone else.

On our way out, I heard the witch talking to the elf. It was only a few dozen words, but for me, it would explain a lot of things in the future.

"Why did you come back?" The witch said quietly, but I was close enough to hear. "You know very well that I wouldn't do the same for you." Right then, I was regreting every inch of gauze spent on that bitch's arm. "Then, why?"

"I know very well that you would not," the elf replied, not seeming bothered by such honesty. "But you're part of the team. I don't care if you would do the same or not."

If you ask me, I'd say it was in that exact moment when the witch began to respect the elf.

* * *

_A/N: Thanks so much for the faves and follows on the last chapter! Woah, it was amazing, thank you!_

_So, they had just saved Morrigan, and the Qunari is fighting for them. What you're thinking about this new Lothering? Chaotic, normal, calm? Let me know your thoughts! ;)_

_Credits to wintryone for the fastest beta ever! ;)_


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